Love Between the Parchment
by VioletStarlight11
Summary: It's the beginning of the Marauders' seventh year and Hogwarts has created "Anonymous Owl Letters," or AOL, a program in which students are assigned to write letters to other students anonymously. The lines between acceptance and prejudice become blurry as James, Lily, and the rest of the Marauders try to differentiate who is a friend and who is a foe. Mainly Jily and Wolfstar.
1. Ch 1: Arrival of the AOL Program

**My name is VioletStarlight11, and welcome to my first story! I am so excited for you to go on this journey with me! I hope that you have as much fun reading this story as I did writing it.**

 **Just a disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The lovely and talented J. K. Rowling owns these beautiful characters. However, I do own the plot for this story.**

 **And the story begins!**

Chapter 1: Arrival of the AOL Program

Morning, Thursday, September 1, 1977

Lily Evans squinted through the glare of the sun as she walked with her family to the entrance of King's Cross Station. Her trunk rattled behind her as she pulled it through the front doors and into the station.

Petunia Evans huffed in annoyance. "Could you stop making such a racket? You already attract enough attention being a freak."

Lily sighed and replied, "The floor is uneven so the wheels make noise going up and down over the ridges. I am sorry you forgot how gravity works."

Petunia scowled before turning her nose up in the air. Lily rolled her eyes before shifting her attention to the portal to Platform 9 ¾. Stopping at a distance to give herself running room, Lily turned to her parents to bid them goodbye.

Mrs. Evans smiled before embracing Lily and saying, "Have a safe trip and a wonderful year, sweetheart. We know you'll do well. I love you." Mr. Evans kissed the top of Lily's head and added, "Keep smiling, my little Emerald. I love you." Lily gripped her father tight, comforted by her father's pet name for her. He called her his little Emerald because of her beautiful green eyes.

"I love the both of you very much," she said before turning to grip her trunk and face the portal.

It did not matter that she had done this for the past 6 years. She always feel a jolt of fear facing the brick wall, knowing that she would have to run into it to get to Platform 9 ¾. Closing her eyes, she began to run.

When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of students boarding the Hogwarts Express, fellow classmates chatting excitedly, and parents giving their final farewells. She began to walk to the train when someone collided into her.

"Oh!" Lily exclaimed, turning to see Alice Fortescue grinning and hugging Lily's torso. "Lily! It has been so long since we have seen each other!" Lily laughed before replying, "Alice, we went shopping for our supplies at Diagon Alley last week-"

"But it has been forever since we last talked!"

"-and we owled all day yesterday talking about our plans for this school year."

Alice rolled her eye teasingly before saying, "Yes, we did all of that, but it is so much better talking right before having another entire year together!"

The two girls giggled and hugged once again. "Okay, let's go find a compartment before all the empty ones are taken," said Lily.

The girls climbed onto the train before beginning their search for a compartment. Scents of pumpkin pasties and chocolate frogs wafted throughout the train and the sound of loud, laughing, and talking voices rang through the aisles like a constant yet comfortable buzz.

The final bell of departure rung before the doors slid shut and the train began its journey. But as the train lurched into motion, Lily swayed, accidentally shoving another student. Lily regained her balance and turned to apologize to the other student, but her apology caught in her throat.

It was Severus Snape. Lily froze as memories of the final days of their fifth year overtook her. She remembered how she felt when he had spat out that unfathomable word, his sneer searing into her like a scar.

He looked at her glumly now. "Hello, Lily," he started.

Alice glared at him and said, "You don't get to talk to her. Let's go, Lily."

Lily nodded and let Alice tug her away from Severus.

They quickly slid into an empty compartment. Lily sat by the window and Alice sat next to her. "Are you okay?" Alice asked, putting her arm on Lily's shoulders. Lily nodded. Even though the memory hurt, time had dulled the initial emotions. Lily replied, "I am fine. I just think that it will always hurt a little since he was my best friend, even though it happened a year ago."

Alice nodded in agreement. "Yes, but you know that you'll always have me to talk to about it." The two embraced, but were interrupted by a loud thud against the compartment and a sharp screeching sound as Sirius Black shoved the door open so he could bolt inside.

"Black! What are you doing here?" Lily exclaimed.

Sirius cackled and replied, "Remus wouldn't pitch ideas for our pranks this year, so I stole his book!"

"Black, you give Remus back his book this second!" said Lily angrily.

"I second that." Remus Lupin entered the compartment and reached for his book expectantly.

Sirius laughed and darted to the back of the compartment. "Nope!"

Remus sighed before collapsing into the seat opposite Alice. "Sorry, Lily and Alice. Sirius is being difficult because he wants attention."

Sirius scoffed indignantly, "I do not! Besides, you should be giving it to me attention because I look absolutely ravishing today!"

Remus rolled his eyes and grinned, saying, "You said that yesterday, though."

Sirius shook his head and said, "No, yesterday I said that I looked 'absolutely excellent'. See, two different words."

Lily smirked and said, "Wow, I didn't even know that you knew words beyond 'snog' and 'shag'."

Alice giggled and Remus had to hide his laugh by covering his mouth. Sirius' mouth was agape.

"Good one, Evans."

Everyone turned to the compartment entrance to see James Potter leaning on the compartment door, smirking at Lily. "Sirius, you know better than to bother Lily. You signed a death warrant by running into her compartment."

Lily scowled at him and said, "Maybe you should take your own advice."

Sirius interjected, "Aww, Lily, it's our last year. Why don't we have a nice, friendly ride to school?'

Alice laughed and said, "That's believable coming from you. I bet you'll have stink bombs thrown at us by the end of this trip."

"Have a little faith, dear Alice," replied James as he sauntered into the compartment and slid into the seat next to Remus. "We won't prank you," he said, "...yet."

The conversation continued on. Peter Pettigrew joined the compartment soon after James' arrival. An hour before the train was due to arrive at Hogwarts, Lily announced, "It's time for the Head's and Prefect's meeting. Remus and I will see you at the Great Hall." Remus nodded in agreement and began to follow Lily to the door.

Then James replied, "Wait for me!"

Lily turned to look at him and furrowed her brow. "Potter, you are neither a prefect nor Head Boy."

James grinned sheepishly before pulling something out from his robes. "Actually, that's where you're wrong."

Lily's eyes widened at the sight of the object in his hands. It was the Head Boy badge. "But," Lily gasped, "You've never been a prefect. And you are not even a valid candidate for Head Boy! How could Dumbledore even consider someone as immature and arrogant as you for Head Boy?"

Hurt flashed in James' eyes for a moment before he replied, "Let's just head to the meeting before we're late."

Lily wrinkled her nose before storming out of the compartment. James and Remus turned to give a final wave to their friends before leaving as well.

At the meeting, even though Lily commanded the discussions and answered many of the prefects' questions, her mind would not stray from the fact that James Potter was going to be her partner for the entire school year. Why would Dumbledore choose the unofficial leader of the Marauders to be Head Boy?

Lily glanced at James as he answered one of the questions asked. This didn't make any sense. She had expected James to not take his new position seriously, but he seemed to actually care that the prefects were aware of the rules and procedures and that the meeting went smoothly. For Merlin's sake, he had even pulled out a list of potential pairings for rounds! The James Potter she knew would never even lift a quill to parchment for Transfiguration studying.

Lily's pondering was interrupted by the train's bell signalling their arrival to Hogwarts. The Heads and Prefects shuffled out of the train and to the carriages.

At the feast, Lily and Alice met up with Marlene Mckinnon, who had spent the train ride with her new boyfriend, Benjy Fenwick. Together the three exchanged summer stories. It turns out Marlene had invited Benjy to a trip to France with her family and they had spent their days sightseeing, shopping, eating, chatting with the family.

"And at night, we would get shag until we had to ask the hotel to find us a new bed." Marlene sniggered. Alice giggled and gasped, "Marls! That is too much information!"

Lily laughed and nodded. "I agree. Besides, how did you even manage to convince your parents to let you sleep together in a separate room?"

Marlene sighed dramatically before saying, "My father was tired of hearing from McGonagall about my frequent broom cupboard flings while my mother just wanted me to find 'the one.' A bloody romantic, that's what my mother is. Once they found out I actually had found a real boyfriend who wasn't a fling, they had booked a second room immediately!"

"Well, is he the one?" asked Alice.

Marlene smiled. "Well, he is surely something. I have never wanted to be in a relationship for this long, let alone actually commit. Yes, the shagging is fantastic, but there are other reasons to stay. He makes me feel...cared for. All the other blokes made me feel wanted, but it is so different when a man actually cares about how a woman feels."

Lily congratulated her and Alice smiled and said, "I am so happy for you."

Marlene grinned and said, "I am happy for me, too. By the way, how are you and that Longbottom fellow? I don't have to kick any arses, do I?"

Alice laughed and replied, "No, Frank and I are still very much in love and together. He is the one. No arse-kicking required."

Lily rolled her eyes playfully and said, "It is actually quite sickening." Lily had spent most of her summer at Alice's and usually found Frank and Alice entangled and snogging or whispering lovingly in each other's ears.

"You just haven't been in love yet, Lily," Alice countered, "Once you've met the one, your whole world changes. It is almost as if you lived your entire life yearning to find him. It's like your fates have become intertwined."

Lily groaned. "Alice, there is no such thing as fate or destiny, other than in the fictional stories that I like to read. It is simply not rational. You can't measure or detect fate. Love is not built on frilly concepts such as the stars aligning. Relationships are built on trust, honesty, and tolerance."

"Tolerance for one James Potter?" joked Marlene.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Even if 'the one' were a real concept, James Potter is far from it! He is an childish, conceited, bullying toerag sucking on the silver spoon of his pureblood ancestry. He has every girl in this school hooked in by his charm but would never take the chance to learn about them. He has never defended me when the Slytherins bullied me and has even been the perpetrator for several bullying incidents to other students. There is no universe in which I would ever fall for James Potter! He is not 'the one,' and there certainly no such thing as the 'one.'"

Alice frowned sadly before saying, "Lily, if fate and destiny don't exist, how can magic exist?"

Lily was taken aback. She could not find an answer. Before she could choke out an flimsy counterargument, someone had rung their spoon against a glass, silencing the whole room. All heads turned to see Headmaster Albus Dumbledore put down his spoon and glass before walking to the podium.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts! I hope that your summers have been eventful and fulfilling. I would like to start off by congratulating our first years for admittance into their houses. We are very excited to have you for the next seven years," Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as they travelled to each table.

"Also, I would like to discuss a new program known as 'Anonymous Owl Letters,' or 'AOL.' We have created this program to foster greater unity, collaboration, and friendship at Hogwarts," started Professor Dumbledore.

Students began raising eyebrows and throwing questioning looks at each other.

Professor Dumbledore continued, "Each of you will send letters to another student throughout the year without knowing who the other student is. I would recommend you and your partner create fake names so you can refer to each other by those names. The Ministry has been generous enough to lend barn owls for every pair of assigned students so that no one is able to detect who they are receiving letters from by the species of the owl."

Before Professor Dumbledore had uttered the last word, the Hall erupted in chatter. Friends exchange various phrases such as "I hope you are my partner" or "I hope I don't get someone annoying."

Marlene whispered to Lily and Alice, "I better not get any Slytherins."

Professor McGonagall's voice rung out, "Silence! Your headmaster is not finished speaking!"

Professor Dumbledore nodded solemnly before continuing, "These are dark times. There is a dark wizard in our midst who wishes to gain power and exert his political agenda. In order to stay safe and combat the darkness, we must look to the light. We must form alliances, no matter how unlikely. I am very aware of our inter-House rivalries. Don't let pride or blood prevent you from doing what is right."

The Hall remained silent. A lone hand rose in the air. All eyes gravitated to the hand.

Professor Dumbledore asked, "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

James was hesitant, but asked, "What if my partner is someone who I disagree with in person due to political beliefs or something such as that?"

Professor Dumbledore smiled fondly before saying, "That is why we have created this program. We wish to teach you that despite political beliefs, background, history, or heritage, we are all human. We are all one in the same. We are all worthy of friendship. We wish for you to build relationships without judgement. All you will have are the words on the parchment."

 **Well...? How was it?**

 **If you are interested in reading more, you can expect to see an updated chapter every Saturday*! Bye!**

 ***Note: For some, it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	2. Ch 2: Rejected and Hidden Feelings

**Hello!**

 **Before you read, I would like to take the time to thank all those who reviewed, subscribed, and favorited my story! It is so mind-blowing to think that I already have a group of fans even only having sent out the first chapter of my first story.**

 **I want to thank** **Tanglefire7** **for sending me my very first review! Thank you for giving me the feedback that I need.**

 **I also want to thank** **Tanglefire7** **,** **Hermioneeowynchaseholmessouza** **,** **haru asakura** **,** **WindupCow** **, and** **FreddyTheGodOfWater** **for subscribing for story alerts! I can't thank you enough for committing to stick around for the ride.**

 **And finally, I want to thank** **xHatsAndCatsx** **,** **haru asakura** **, and** **FreddyTheGodOfWater** **for adding my story to their favorites! I am so honored to be on your favorites list.**

 **And thank you to all my readers, for giving my story a second chance. This IS the second chapter, you know?**

 **And the story begins!**

Chapter 2: Rejected and Hidden Feelings

Evening, Thursday, September 1, 1977

Lily sighed as she plopped onto the sofa in the Head's common room. She had spent most of the evening unpacking, devising patrol schedules for the prefects, and preparing for classes for the next day.

The fireplace sizzled as Lily flipped open a Transfiguration book. Merlin knows that Transfiguration was her worst subject.

Footsteps sounded down the stairs behind her. She didn't have to look up to know that James had decided to join her in the common room.

Although her eyes travelled over the words in her book, her ears detected James sitting in the armchair opposite her.

"Hello, Evans."

"Potter."

She saw James nervously run his hand through his hair, an annoying habit that made her internally roll her eyes.

"What are you reading?"

Lily sighed in exasperation. "I am studying for Transfiguration."

James scratched his head again. "Um, but classes don't start until tomorrow-"

"Not everyone is as lazy or as good at Transfiguration as you, Potter. Unlike you, I have to work for my worth," said Lily, shooting him a scowl.

James frowned. "Oh."

A minute of silence passed before James again tried to speak to Lily. "Look, I think that we should try to become friends. We are going to be working together a lot this year, so we might as well get along. Besides, Dumbledore said that we should try to build alliances and such. Also, I would like to just apologize for my behavior these past few years-"

"Save it!" Lily spat out. "Me? Become friends with you?" Lily laughed humorlessly. "There is no love potion strong enough. You are the reason Severus and I aren't friends anymore. You have accosted me constantly with your fake declarations of love and given me nothing but irritation for the past six years. With respect to Professor Dumbledore, we may become civil with each other, but we will _never_ be friends."

Lily slammed her Transfiguration book shut before gathering her belongings and storming up the stairs to her room, leaving behind a dejected James Potter.

In Gryffindor Tower, Remus Lupin was just finishing studying for Defense Against the Dark Arts while Sirius talked to Alice and Marlene about their upcoming pranks.

Sirius shouted excitedly, "Once the wire is triggered, a rope is going to swing out with a sack and-"

"I think I am going to go to bed now," Remus announced, chuckling as he interrupted.

Sirius moaned, "Aww, Remus, it's not even midnight yet! This is our only opportunity to stay up late having fun! Soon, it will be staying up late studying!"

Marlene coughed under her breath, "Like you study…"

Sirius exclaimed, "Hey, I heard that! Yes, I know how to study! And we'll be doing a lot of it!"

Remus nodded before saying, "I know that, so I want to cherish my sleep before our studies take over."

Sirius sighed, "Fine. Peter and I are going to stay down here to and talk to the girls."

Remus' gaze lingered on Sirius' face for a moment before he walk towards the stairs.

Remus didn't know when he began to fall for Sirius Black, but he found out at the end of fifth year.

 _Remus had come to the dormitory after comforting Lily, who had been crying after Severus called her the foul word. Sirius was relaxing in his bed, playing with the Marauder's Map._

 _Remus glared at his lounging form. "Did you and Prongs really have to patronise Severus? Lily is devastated. I know that you are childish, Padfoot, but I never took you for a bully."_

 _Sirius glared back, "Hey, Snivellus is a Slytherin! The whole lot of them are against the existence of muggleborns like Lily. She was going to have to accept that fact sooner or later."_

 _Remus rolled his eyes and argued back, "Oh really? You were doing it for Lily's benefit? No. I know that your family has hurt you and you wish to take revenge on the Slytherins for your childhood, but you are hurting your friends in the process!"_

" _Don't bring my family into this!"_

" _What other bloody reason is there?" Remus shouted, "You are creating problems and giving the Slytherins more incentive to come after us! We need to focus on promoting peace, not picking fights with small-minded pureblood supremacists."_

" _You think things are going to change when we put down our wands, hold hands, and dance around in flowers?" shouted Sirius._

" _No," Remus said, "But anything's better than this."_

 _Remus moved to his trunk and began packing._

 _Sirius' eyes widened. "What are you doing?"_

 _Remus answered, "I can't do this anymore."_

" _What are you talking about?"_

 _Remus sighed and turned to Sirius. "I have been a Marauder with you ever since our first year. We have done everything together. Pranks, grand schemes, and creating the Map. But I never signed up for hurting people."_

 _Remus turned back to packing. "I am going to ask Dumbledore to move me to another dorm-"_

" _No!" cried Sirius. Sirius had bolted towards Remus and grabbed his shoulder, trying to turn him around. "Don't."_

" _I can't, Sirius."_

" _Please...stop. Don't go," Sirius pleaded, and began to embrace him from behind. "You've been a part of every great plan for mischief and every moment of our rule-breaking glory. You've comforted me whenever my family upset me." Sirius began to shake. "You're my best mate."_

 _Remus looked glumly at Sirius' arms around him. "I don't want to hurt people, Sirius."_

" _So we won't!" Sirius blurted out quickly. "I don't give a damn about the stupid Slytherins! I am sorry. I promise not to hurt anyone anymore if I means I get to keep you."_

 _Remus felt warm moisture on his back. "Are you crying?"_

 _Sirius sniffed, "Not a word to Prongs or Wormtail."_

 _Remus laughed before turning in Sirius' arms to embrace him. "Thank you for apologizing. I'll forgive you under one condition."_

" _And what is that?"_

" _Apologize to Lily."_

 _Sirius wrinkled his nose. "I doubt that will go over well."_

 _Remus smiled. "Just do it."_

 _Several seconds of silence passed before Sirius said, "Can you please unpack your trunk? The sight of it all organized and put together frightens me now."_

" _But I always keep it organized and put together," teased Remus._

 _Sirius huffed, "You know what I mean."_

 _Remus chuckled._

" _Don't ever leave me, Moony."_

" _Never, Padfoot."_

From that point on, Remus had been head over heels in love with Sirius. Sirius had proven that he could be mature and not let his sights for revenge determine his actions. But Remus would never tell Sirius of his affections, for he was a werewolf, and he knew better than to entertain the idea that he could ever give Sirius Black the life he deserves.

Remus loved Sirius, and if that meant keeping his distance so that Sirius could find someone who would give him a life free of dangers and werewolves, he would do it.

Downstairs, Sirius parted from Peter and the girls, stating that he wanted to visit James in his new dormitory.

Through the corridors he walked until he reached the lion statue of the Head dormitory.

Scratching his head, he wondered how he was going to get in. He didn't know the password. However, he was a Marauder, and gained entrance in the only way he knew how: public embarrassment.

"Oh, Prongsie!" Sirius shouted, "If you don't let me in, I'll tell everyone about the incident in the girl's lavatories back in 4th year!"

Sirius cackled as the lion statue shifted and a hand grabbed his collar to drag him into the dormitory before any professors came to investigate.

Slamming the door shut, James turned to face Sirius.

"Sirius, you'll wake up the bloody school with your yelling! And right outside my dormitory talking about me, for Merlin's sake!" James scolded angrily.

Sirius was taken aback. "Prongs, mate, it was just a joke. What's got your wand in a twist?"

James sighed before collapsing into a sofa. "It's Evans."

Sirius rolled his eyes and smirked playfully. "Isn't it always?"

"Sirius…"

"Okay, okay!" Sirius exclaimed before jumping onto and settling into the armchair across from James. "Tell me what happened."

As James recounted what occurred between him and Lily, Sirius listened intently. While Sirius was mischievous and playful, he was also caring. James was one of his best mates, a friend that he was loyal towards until the end. Sirius knew when to stop and listen.

When James was finished, Sirius rubbed his face tiredly before saying, "James, mate, why would you even try to be friends with Evans? She's turned you down for years."

James sat back with his head laying on the edge of the sofa, his face looking up to the ceiling. "I heard the girls talking about me at dinner."

Sirius straightened. "What?"

James closed his eyes as he remembered the conversation. "Marlene, Lily, and Alice were talking about relationships and my name came up. Naturally, Evans got upset, telling them about how much of a bully I am and how I ruined her friendship with Snivellus," James leaned forward to put his head in his hands, "I feel horrible."

"Hey," Sirius moved to sit next to James on the sofa and put an arm onto James' shoulders. "You aren't a bully. We aren't bullies. We just like having a little fun," Sirius patted James' back. "Besides, we don't actually hurt people. Just a little bit of embarrassment." Sirius' mouth twitched as he fought back a smile.

James still did not raise his head. Sirius sighed. "Also, there is not much we can do about her friendship with Snivellus."

James' head snapped back up and he looked desperately at Sirius. "That is why I wanted to be friends with her! I wanted to fix things!"

Sirius nodded but asked, "If the bird wants to be left alone, shouldn't she be left alone?"

James groaned, "Believe me. I've tried. I've dated nearly half of the girls in our year. None of them hold a candle to Lily Evans."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure that it's not the thrill of the chase keeping you hooked?"

James shook his head before gazing dreamily into space. "It's more than that. She's not just a bird who's hard to get, Padfoot. She's smart, but also kind, and fierce, and strong, and empathetic, and passionate about what she believes in. She's...perfect."

Sirius nodded, saying, "I know, I know. You've been repeating that for the past six years. But do you really want to make it seven? Maybe it's time to let her go."

James slumped back, "I think you're right."

The two sat in silence for a few moments before James perked up again, grinning slyly. "You know, on the bright side, my situation is not nearly as painful as yours."

Sirius faced James. "What do you mean?"

James' grin grew. "How is sharing a room again with your one and only love, none other than our precious Moony?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed. "Nothing is or will be happening between Moony and I."

"And that is the problem," James deducted playfully.

Sirius laughed. "Oh, put a sock in it, will you?"

James laughed, too. "I can't! I was the first and only person you told. I have no one to gossip with about this other than you!"

Sirius scoffed, "You sound like a bloody bird."

James' laughter dimmed as he asked, "How is it really?"

Sirius sighed and replied, "Agony. And it could never work."

James asked, "Why not?"

Sirius stood up and started pacing. He was normally calm and relaxed, but he always got flustered when talking about Moony. "Remus deserves a respectable girl, someone who can hold an intellectual conversation without changing the subject to something like stink bombs or pureblood supremacist relatives. Someone who doesn't have a dark past. Someone who isn't me."

James countered, "Remus loves us all no matter our pasts. He wouldn't be friends with us otherwise. And you don't know that he isn't gay."

Sirius stopped pacing and asked almost too excitedly. "Did he tell you that he is?"

James shook his head and said, "No, and I am not asking. Remus already doesn't get to keep a lot of secrets around us, given that we know about his furry problem. It's only natural that he would cling on to whatever pieces of himself that still private."

Sirius nodded and sank back into the sofa. "I guess we are both stuck, then."

James agreed glumly. "I guess so."

 **Phew, they've all got it bad. Well, except Lily...for now.**

 **Anyways, thank you so much for reading and remember that I post every Saturday*! Goodbye!**

 ***Note: Again, for some, it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	3. Ch 3: Not So Perfect

**Hello!**

 **Okay, I really excited for this chapter because we are going start to really understand Lily's character more and get a little bit of a sneak peak on James' character as well.**

 **And before the story begins, I would like to thank my reviewers!**

 **Thank you,** **tanglefire7,** **for returning to my story! It means so much that you are interested in my story!**

 **Thank you,** **Fire and Ice** **! You raised a very good question. I put my response to your review below with my time disclaimer so they could sit together. Also, thank you for reading my author notes! I actually wondered if anyone was actually reading them.**

 **Finally, thank you,** **schak** **! Our private messages were so helpful! I hope this next chapter gives you not only the connection that you want to see with Lily, but also the pain and pleasure I experienced while writing it.**

 **And whoops! I keep on forgetting to add the disclaimer: I do not own these amazing characters or the fabulous setting. The lovely J. K. Rowling does. I do, however, own the plot.**

 **And the story begins!**

 **00000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Chapter 3: Not So Perfect

Morning, Friday, September 2, 1977

 _Lily's hands shook as she held her N.E.W.T. test results to her face. This wasn't possible._

" _T's for Troll? On every subject?" She choked out, her heart rate rising with her voice._

 _Professor McGonagall nodded her head solemnly. "Oh, yes, Miss Evans. You did quite terribly. Especially on your Transfiguration portion. What a shame." Shaking her head, Professor McGonagall began to walk away._

" _No!" Lily shouted. "Please let me take it again! Please, I can be better!"_

 _A hand suddenly grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. She stared into Remus' frantic eyes._

" _Oh, Lily, it is a disaster!' Remus exclaimed._

 _Lily gasped out, "W-what is?"_

" _The prefects schedule is a mess! Everyone is either paired with the wrong partner or not even patrolling at all! It is chaos!"_

 _Before Remus finished the sentence, a mob of angry prefects ran down the hallway screaming "We want new partners!" Before Lily could react, Remus was sucked into the mob as they continued running down the hall._

" _Wait!" Lily shouted, "Remus? Prefects? I-I can fix this! Come back!"_

 _Suddenly, Headmaster Dumbledore appeared behind her and said, "My, my. What a mess we have here."_

 _Lily whirled around. "Headmaster, please, I-I don't know what to do to fix this. What should we do?"_

" _Expel her!"_

 _Lily turned to see another mob, this time populated by Slytherins with Bellatrix Lestrange leading and Severus Snape following behind her._

" _Expel the filth! We don't need mudbloods tainting the halls of our school, Headmaster," snarled Bellatrix._

" _Yeah! Expel her!" The crowd of Slytherins chanted._

 _Lily's eyes landed on Severus Snape's. "Severus…" Lily's voice wavered._

 _Severus' face contorted into a glare before he shouted, "Expel the mudblood!"_

 _Lily turned back to Headmaster Dumbledore with pleading eyes. "Please, sir, I didn't do anything wrong! Don't expel me!"_

 _Headmaster Dumbledore shook his head and said, "I am sorry, Miss Evans, but you have caused quite a ruckus here. You have failed your N.E.W.T.s, created a mess of the prefects, and you are of questionable blood. I am afraid I will have to expel you."_

" _No!" Lily wailed, "Please, sir, no!"_

 _A quill and parchment appeared in the air in front of Headmaster Dumbledore and he began to read out, "I hereby expel Miss Lily Evans from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for disruption of the peace. Miss Lily Evans is no longer permitted to reside or enter the school grounds. She is required to return her Head Girl badge to my office by the end of the day and she must return to her dormitory to pack her belongings. A train heading back to London has been alerted and will be arriving this afternoon. Good day, Miss Evans."_

 _Headmaster Dumbledore signed the parchment and it disappeared before Lily could do anything about. Then, Headmaster Dumbledore walked away._

" _No!" Lily sobbed, hot tears burning her cheeks._

 _Bellatrix cackled before shouting, "You all hear that? The mudblood isn't a student anymore!"_

 _Lily turned to face Bellatrix._

 _Bellatrix smirked as she continued."That means we can do whatever we want with her! Someone grab her!"_

 _Before Lily could blink, Severus, along with another Slytherin, advanced towards her and grabbed her arms._

" _Let me go!" Lily shouted, her heels scraping on the floor as they dragged her._

 _In the corner of her eye, she saw Marlene and Alice._

" _Alice! Marlene! Please, help me!" Lily pleaded._

 _But all they did was shake their heads._

" _You're a fake!" Alice accused, "And to think that I thought a mudblood would ever fit in with the rest of us wizards and witches!"_

" _And we don't become friends with fakes!" Marlene agreed._

 _Before Lily could plead for their help again, a maze of hands and limbs covered her view as she screamed._

 _Suddenly, her surroundings dissolved. When she opened her eyes, she was standing in the Head's common room._

 _The hoot of an owl caught her attention as it perched on the arm of the sofa. Between its beak was a letter._

 _When she untied it, it said:_

 _Dear Lily,_

 _We are sorry to say this but we do not wish to call you our daughter anymore. Petunia has made us truly realize what an abomination you are. You are a witch. And we are normal people. You aren't normal. We simply can no longer tolerate magic in this house._

 _We wish for you to never come back. Do not contact us. We never want to hear about magic again. We never want to see you again._

 _Mr. and Mrs. Evans_

" _What is happening?" Lily sobbed, "Mum? Dad?"_

" _Lily, you look ravishing today."_

 _Lily quickly shoved the letter into her pocket and turned to see James Potter standing behind her posing with his shirt off, his hands on his hips, and a rose between his teeth._

" _Potter," Lily sighed, " I don't have time for your games today. I need to figure out what is going on."_

 _James simply ignored her. He pulled the rose out from between his teeth and hand it to her._

" _Oh, Lily, you perfect angel, you have nothing to worry about," James drawled, sultrily. "The school is in chaos with all the mobs of prefects and Slytherins running around. That will give us a few hours of playtime." James' eyebrows rose up suggestively._

" _No!" Lily exclaimed angrily, knocking the rose out of his hand. "Stop playing around! Everything is so wrong. The whole school is a disaster! Marlene and Alice aren't my friends! I got T's on my N.E.W.T.s! My family has disowned me!"_

 _Lily fished the letter out of her pocket to show him._

 _James plucked the parchment out from her hands and dropped it on the floor. "Forget about that," He said, smirking. "Everything's perfect."_

 _He began to trail his fingers up her arm._

 _Lily retreated back in disgust. "No! Get back!"_

 _James grinned before he gripped her wrists and smashed his lips against hers._

 _Lily ripped her face away from his. "What do you think you are doing?"_

 _James teased, "What are you complaining about? You are perfect. I am perfect. We are perfect together. This is all perfect. Now let's have some fun..." He tried to kiss her again._

" _No, stop!" Lily begged._

 _He ignored her as his hands and eyes continued to rake over her body before throwing her onto the sofa and getting on top of her._

" _No! Please, get off of me!" Lily pleaded. "This is all wrong. This isn't perfect! I am not perfect! I am not perfect! I am not perfect-"_

"I AM NOT PERFECT!" screamed Lily, her body thrashing up in her bed.

Lily took gasping breaths as she scanned her surroundings. She was in her room. She was safe.

Lily continued to sob and cry as she remembered the dream.

"I am not perfect..." she whimpered. "No one understands…"

 _And it must stay that way,_ a voice in Lily's head said, _we don't want to let people know what a failure you are._

She began to calm down as her hiccups and tears subsided. She nodded. _Yes,_ she thought, _I don't want anyone to know._

 _Good,_ the voice said, _now put your mask on._

Lily's body shook as she sighed and nodded. "Right."

She steeled herself, hardening her eyes as she scowled. She shoved the covers off of herself before heading to the bathroom to prepare for the day.

 _I'm ready._

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Transfiguration Classroom, Morning, September 2, 1997 **(it's the same morning)**

"Mr. Black! Sit down in your seat before I sit you in detention!" Professor McGonagall reprimanded.

Transfiguration was the first class on Lily's schedule and, unfortunately, she shared it with Marauders. It was the first day of classes and they were already causing a ruckus.

Sirius was standing on his chair and shouting about _Merlin knows what_ while James was attempting to jump on Sirius' back to knock him over. When James finally gripped onto Sirius' back, the two became a ball of limbs as they fought for dominance atop the chair.

Peter had snuck in pastries from the kitchens to share with the rest of the class and Remus was, well, reading, but Lily noticed him mutter a charm that made the delicacies explode in Peter's face as he handed them around.

The scene may have been endearing and comical in Lily's eyes if her head wasn't hurting from Sirius' and Peter's exclamations and from the event that occurred earlier this morning in her bedroom.

"Quiet!" With the flick of her wand, Professor McGonagall had confiscated the pastries and yanked the chair out from under Sirius's feet, causing Sirius and James to fall into a heap with a loud thud on the floor.

"Ow!" howled Sirius dramatically. "Professor, I think I broke my butt!"

Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. "Be thankful it's not your neck." **(*wink wink* get the reference?)**

Once James and Sirius had returned to sitting in their chairs, McGonagall began her lecture.

Five minutes before the students were to depart for their next classes, McGonagall signaled for everyone's attention.

"Students, I would like to make you aware that the Ministry-lended barn owls will arrive to your dormitory's either tonight or tomorrow night."

Excited voices began to whisper, but McGonagall silenced them by continuing to speak.

"It is of great importance that you memorize the owl number attached to the leg of your owl. Should your owl lose its way or become injured, you can file a report so that we can provide you with a new barn owl. Are there any questions?"

Heads shook. The process seemed easy enough.

Professor McGonagall nodded."Off you go then."

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Prefect's Office, Evening, September 2, 1997 **(It's the same day)**

That evening, all of the prefects gathered into the Prefect's Office for the first Prefects meeting of the year, excluding the meeting on the train.

Prefects were to sign in at the front desk before venturing into the back where they were to find a rectangular room surrounded by offices separated by walls of dark wood and mosaics of the four houses. Warm, golden lights glowed from the candles on the ornate chandelier hanging over a oval-shaped table where a majority of the meetings were conducted.

Lily Evans and James Potter sat at the head of the table. From time to time, they would glance up from organizing schedules to warmly greet the faces of the prefects that arrived. It was a lavish affair. Headmaster Dumbledore treasured the prefects and Head students, so he provided not only the office but also the drinks and foods such as pieces of cakes or tiny sandwiches.

While James and Lily sat and sifted through the schedules, the prefects began to migrate from the tables of food towards the central table to take their seats.

Once everyone was seated, Lily continued to organize the final papers while James began roll call.

By the time Lily was finished, James had finished roll call.

"Alright," Lily started, "First of all, how are you all this evening?"

There was a collective murmur of "Good," "Fine," and "Well."

"Great!," James jumped in, "Welcome to the first Prefects meeting of the year. We are excluding the train meeting mainly because that one was just to make sure the returning prefects remembered the rules and procedures. We will repeat that information today since we know that many of the newer prefects were not aware of the train meetings. Any questions so far?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Perfect," Lily said, "Now we will repeat the rules and procedures, particularly when you are allowed to dock points, how many points to dock, or when it is appropriate to administer detentions."

By the end of the discussion, James and Lily began passing out each prefect's schedule. Once everyone had their schedules, Lily said, "Alright, thank you for coming-"

"Wait," said Eleanor, a 5th year Hufflepuff, "I don't like my schedule."

Lily's eyebrows rose. "What's wrong with it?"

"Well," said Eleanor, "I don't know my partner that well, so...can I have a new partner?"

Before Lily or James could respond, several other prefects began asking for a change in schedules and partners.

Remus and James tried to quiet them but some began to shout even louder at them.

Lily recoiled back in fear, remembering her dream. _Oh dear, I knew this would happen_ , she said to herself, _This is a mess._

 _Then do something about it,_ a voice in her head told her, _Don't let them see you crumble._

Lily nodded. _Right._

Prefects' hands started to grab the food at their plates as the shouting grew even louder.

Then it stopped.

The prefects, including James, opened their mouths but no words came out. The only person in the room unfazed was Lily.

Lily put her wand down and cleared her throat before beginning to speak. "Let me repeat myself. Thank you for coming. All schedules are final. There will be no changes. If you wish to make any changes, let us know at the end of the month, _before_ we make the next month's schedule. Is that clear?"

All heads nodded quickly, each person eager to get his or her voice back.

"Good," Lily replied. With the flick of her wand, all the prefects regained their voices.

"Now, help yourself to more food. Otherwise, I'll see you all next month."

With that, almost all of the students rushed out the door, wanting to avoid another silencing. All except one.

"Why did you do that?"

Green eyes stared into hazel.

Lily scowled at him. "Do what, Potter?"

James replied, "You didn't have to silence them. We could have just switched some schedules around."

Lily scoffed, "On whose borrowed time? I don't have any space on my schedule to rearrange the pairings."

James shook his head in disagreement. "Evans, I can do it. Why don't you let me make the changes?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "No, Potter."

"Why not?"

"Is that even a question?"

"I'm asking it!"

"Fine!" Lily shouted, "I don't trust you!"

"Why not?" James shouted back, "I'm Head Boy!"

"And you don't know the first thing about being one!" Lily yelled, "If you change the schedules, not only will you ruin them, but the prefects will ask for more changes, leading to a never-ending spiral of changing the schedules until there is nothing but chaos, which you wouldn't know about since you've never been a leader!"

James glared at her and fired back, "In case you didn't know, I am a Quidditch captain!"

Lily groaned loudly. "And this isn't Quidditch, Potter! This is my responsibility and I will take care of it myself!"

Lily began to turn away to leave.

James grabbed her shoulder to turn her around. "Lily, wait-"

"It's Evans to you, Potter." She ripped her shoulder away from his grip. James thought he saw her shudder in fear at the touch of his hand grabbing her shoulder, but then Lily continued. "Don't act like you know me. You'll never understand what kind of pressure I am put under. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to take care of this myself."

She turned away and stormed out, a whirlwind of red and green.

James remained standing at the head of the table, his face twisting into a glare and hands clenching.

"No one trusts me with anything!" James shouted.

Before he could stop to think, his hand grabbed the closest plate and he threw it against the wall, like he would a Quaffle into the goal. It rained into pieces, covering the floor in dust and shards.

He began grabbing more and more plates, throwing them until the clash of crashing plates became as constant as his angry heart beat.

He gave an agonized yell as he ripped the tablecloth off the table, watching the remaining plates and silverware clatter and shatter against the cobblestone floor.

He stood frozen, heavily breathing as he scanned the sea of broken pieces. He whipped his wand out and quickly cleaned the mess before grabbing his bag and storming out as well.

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Lily slammed the door of her bedroom and slid down the door, crying. It was only the second day and she had felt that she had already failed.

Her hands reached up to cover her face as her shoulders shook and her tears spilled out.

She felt so ashamed. She knew she shouldn't have silenced them.

And she did it anyways.

 _What's happening to me?_

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 **And...relax.**

 **This was a crazy chapter.**

 **I promise the letters and AOL Program are coming soon!**

 **Anyways, I hope you guys understand where I am putting Lily in her character arc and I hope you enjoyed and stick around to find out where I take her.**

 **Thank you so much for reading and remember that I update every Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some, it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**

 **To** **Fire and Ice** **: Since I live in the Eastern Time Zone, the time that I release my chapter will obviously be different for someone who lives in another time zone, like the Mountain Time Zone, which is 2 hours behind me. Say I release a chapter on Saturday at 12 am EST. Someone in the Mountain Time Zone will get it on Friday at 10 pm since they are two hours behind me, while someone in the British Summer Time Zone, which is 5 hours ahead of me, won't get it until Saturday at 4 am. Therefore, I have to be careful about when I release my chapters because I want to keep my promise when I say that I will release on a Saturday. Say, one Saturday, I am really late about releasing my chapters and released it at Saturday at 9 pm. Those in the time zones ahead of me, like British Summer Time, would finally get it on Sunday at 2 am, which is not what I want at all. There are no posts on Sunday, and I mean it. ;)**


	4. Ch 4: Greeting the Mysterious Partners

**Hello!**

 **The letters have arrived! I can't wait for you all to read them. Also, I just wanted to let you all know that this chapter is going to be focused on Remus' and Sirius' relationship development, but we will get back to Lily and James soon. Okay? Okay.**

 **Before you read, I would like to thank my newly acquired or returning followers, favorites, and reviewers!**

 **First, thank you** **cutieoh5** **for adding my story to your favorites! I can't wait for you to see what comes next!**

 **Secondly, thank you** **SirFluffers** **and** **pgllf2005** **for following my story! Welcome to the family!**

 **Finally, thank you** **Fire and Ice** **for coming back to review! It means so much that you continue to read my story.**

 **Here is one last reminder. If you are interested in reading more of my story, go to my profile and you will see my current upload schedule for this story and for more stories to come!**

 **And here is the disclaimer: I do not own these amazing characters or the setting. The clever J. K. Rowling does. I do, however, own the plot.**

 **And the story begins!**

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Chapter 4: Greeting the Mysterious Partners

Evening, Friday, September 2, 1977 **(It's the same day as the last chapter)**

After the Prefects Meeting, Remus changed into his pajamas and sank onto his bed with a book in his hand. He had finished his Potions and Herbology homework and wished to relax while reading a book on Magical History.

Sirius and Peter were visiting James in the Head's dorms, so Remus has the entire dormitory to himself.

Just as his eyes began to droop, he heard a clicking noise against his window. Remus' eyes meet the eyes of an unfamiliar owl. He perked up as he remembered that the Ministry barn owls were due to come tonight.

He sat up in his bed and reached a hand out to unlatch and open the window. The owl flew in and sat expectantly at the foot of his bed.

Remus moved closer to the barn owl and reached out to read the tag, which said: **Property of the Ministry of Magic. Owl Number: 52**

Remus nodded. "Okay, I'll memorize that."

Furrowing his brow, Remus thought to himself, _What should I call myself?_

He knew that Professor Dumbledore wished for the AOL program to create and strengthen friendships among the students. He knew he should call himself something to portrayed him as an understanding and compassionate person. However, he also wanted to incorporate something unique to himself. Maybe he would use a character from his favorite myths or fairy tales...

Remus began to pull out some parchment to write his first letter.

Later that evening, before Remus had finished the letter, Sirius bounded into the room and jumped into bed, hiding under the covers.

Remus cocked a brow. "What are you doing?"

Sirius stuck his head out from under the covers and grinned. "Hiding from Prongs. He and Evans apparently had another fight, so he is really annoyed right now. So naturally I teased him about it until he went ballistic!"

"Padfoot," Remus chided.

"Hey! We all could use a good laugh. Dumbledore says that there's dark times and something like that."

Remus sighed. "You aren't wrong..."

Sirius stuck his head out further. "By the way, what are you doing? Whose owl is that?"

Remus answered, "It's a Ministry barn owl for the AOL program."

Sirius groaned. "Ugh, I remember. More work. Why do they want us to write letters to people we don't even know? What if I get a Slytherin?"

Remus told him patiently, "Then you will become friends with him or her and convince him or her that we should promote peace instead of following the teachings of the Dark Lord."

Sirius sighed. "Fine." A moment of silence. "So, what's your owl number?"

Remus scoffed teasingly. "I can't tell you that!"

"But I want to know so I can find out who I have!" whined Sirius.

Remus chuckled. "You haven't even gotten yours yet!"

Sirius pouted.

Remus continued, "Besides, I like the mystery. We could really be helping someone come to our side."

Sirius teased, "Only you would like the mystery. It's like something out of the history books you read."

Remus laughed again. "Padfoot, you only want to know because not knowing drives you mad."

Sirius sighed again.

Remus finished the letter and began to tie it in gray string.

"What are you going to name him?" Sirius asked.

"Hm?" questioned Remus.

Sirius answered, "You can't honestly call him by his number every time he has a letter for you."

Remus nodded and pondered for a few moments. "Frederick."

Sirius was confused. "What?"

"Frederick means 'peaceful ruler,'" replied Remus, "And since we are trying to promote peace, I think the name is fitting."

Sirius looked dejected. He had wanted Remus to name the owl in relation to Sirius. However, he quickly brightened. "That is a good name."

Remus nodded in agreement. He put the wrapped letter between Frederick's beak.

"Padfoot, I am going to brush my teeth now and you should, too. I know that you are going to fall asleep if you stay under those covers," Remus said as he opened the window for Frederick.

Sirius huffed teasingly, "I know, Mother."

Remus smiled, grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, and left the room just as Sirius heard a clicking noise on his window.

"Huh?" Sirius questioned.

He opened the window to let the barn owl in.

His eyes gravitated towards the Ministry tag that said: **Property of the Ministry of Magic. Owl Number: 52**

Sirius sighed, knowing that he had to memorize the number and hoping that he didn't forget.

Sirius then pulled the tied letter from its beak. It was folded quite nicely, tied in a grey string.

"Oh, my partner already sent me a letter," Sirius muttered absentmindedly.

After unfolding the parchment, Sirius began to read.

 _ **Greetings! It seems that I am to be your partner for the duration of the AOL program. I am pleased to meet you! Since I would like to send kind and friendly letters, while also expressing one of my personality traits, which is my love for literature, so you can call me Kind Beowulf, since I am kind and my favorite myth is Beowulf. I hope that we can become friends, as the wizarding world is very divided now considering the political issues of this time.**_

 _ **Let me start off by telling you a little bit about myself. My favorite subjects are History of Magic and Defense Against the Dark Arts. My favorite color is grey. I enjoy spending time with my friends. I value honesty and compassion. Also, I like chocolate.**_

 _ **Those are the basics. I look forward to hearing from you and becoming your friend this year.**_

 _ **Kind regards,**_

 _ **Kind Beowulf**_

Sirius chuckled to himself and thought, _Seems like a really nice bloke. This person actually sounds a lot like Remus._

Sirius reread the letter again before deciding that he was pleased with his partner. His partner didn't sound like a Slytherin at all.

Sirius yawned and looked at his barn owl.

His partner reminded him of Remus, so he would name his owl something related to Remus.

"I'm back!"

Sirius was startled by Remus' return from brushing his teeth.

Sirius grinned and said, "Look, my partner sent me a letter!"

Remus smiled back, happy for Sirius. "That's great."

Sirius nodded and continued, "Also, guess what I am going to name my owl?"

"What?"

"Romulus! You know, since he is the twin of Remus," Sirius exclaimed, excited for Remus' reaction.

"Oh," Remus replied, blushing. "Did you do research on that?"

Sirius sat and thought for a moment. "Um, no, all I know that he is your twin."

Remus laughed, "Then I guess you didn't know about Romulus killing Remus?"

"Oh!" Sirius winced. "I didn't know that."

Remus chuckled.

"Um, can I just borrow your owl's name then?" asked Sirius. "You said that you want to promote peace, so I want to remember that whenever I send letters."

"I don't see why not," Remus beamed, happy that Sirius was trying to make friends. "Our letters will probably come at different times, since we aren't partners, so there is no way that I would confuse my owl with yours."

Sirius nodded. "True."

Sirius turned back to Frederick. "I think I'll write my partner a letter tomorrow morning. I am too tired now." Sirius opened the window so that Frederick could fly to the owlery to sleep for the night.

Sirius continued. "My partner is really nice. I think I am going to really like him."

Remus frowned. "Oh?"

Sirius smiled. "Yeah."

Remus looked downcast. "Oh."

Sirius smiled and nodded, not noticing Remus' expression. "I am going to bed now."

"Goodnight," Remus mumbled.

Even after the lights went out, Remus' eyes were wide open. He knew he shouldn't feel jealous, but he couldn't ignore the emotion as it twisted in his heart.

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 **Yay! I am so glad that we have finally made it to the letters portion! Thank you so much for reading!**

 **Again, if you are interested in my upload schedule, it will be on my profile. As of today, Saturday, September 22, 2018, Chapter 5 of this story should be posted on Saturday, September 29, 2018 at 12:00 am EST. Every Saturday*, just as I promised.**

 ****Note: Again, for some, it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	5. Ch 5: More Mysterious Partners

**Hello!**

 **Welcome back to my story!**

 **Okay, we are now going to be heading back into the perspectives of Lily and James. I hope you enjoy!**

 **But first, I would like to take the time to thank my new or returning followers and reviewers!**

 **Thank you, Chris Breyer, for following my story! I hope you enjoy the chapters that'll come soon!**

 **And thank you so much to Fire and Ice, for your reviews! I am so glad that you came back for more!**

 **And the story begins!**

 **00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Chapter 5: More Mysterious Partners

Evening, Friday, September 2, 1977 **(still the same evening that Sirius and Remus received their barn owl)**

Meanwhile, in the Heads dormitory, Lily lay in her bed wiping away the remaining tears. She tried to make sense of her situation.

She was still burning from her argument with Potter in the Prefect's Office. Maybe that was why she was so agitated. James made no sense to her. How could he even suggest that he could help her with the schedules? The James Potter she knew would never volunteer for work.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a clicking sound on her window. Her red hair flashed as she turned her head to the noise.

Her feet walked her to the window, and when she look out, she saw a brown owl perched on the ledge.

She unlatched the window and in flew a barn owl. Taking a quick glance at the tag, she recognized that it was the Ministry barn owl. She remembered the AOL program discussed at the first feast.

Lily pulled on the tag on the owl's leg to see the number. On it read: **Property of the Ministry of Magic. Owl Number: 71**

After committing it to memory, she thought about what she wanted to say. She didn't really mind making a new friend, but she worried that writing letters would take time away from her coursework and Head Girl duties. She also worried that this person could be a jerk, or someone who was as immature as James Potter.

Turning away from her barn owl, she sank into her desk chair and pulled out a piece of parchment.

James sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, groaning. His argument with Evans got his blood roaring. He tried to remain calm and be rational while resolving the issue, but she was especially anxious and agitated tonight.

Even in the heat of the argument, even with the bite of irritation gnawing at him throughout the entire encounter, he couldn't deny that he was attracted to the way her green eyes burned and her cheeks flushed red as she yelled at him.

He began pacing and running his hands in his hair in frustration. He sighed as he realized that he might never get over her.

A clicking noise at his window had him whirling around to the sound. A barn owl flapped its brown wings expectantly at him, its dark eyes insistent.

When James opened the window, the owl flew in and rested itself on the back of his desk chair. Tentatively, he pulled the letter from the beak, rubbing his chin as he attempted to figure out why someone would be sending him a letter. He was not expecting a letter from anyone.

Then his eyes caught the tag on the owl's leg. He read: **Property of the Ministry of Magic. Owl Number: 71**

"Oh," he concluded, "The AOL program. Right."

Returning to his seat on the bed, he inspected the letter. It was wrapped in green string, much like the green of Evans' eyes. He shook his head to forget about her eyes and focus on untying the string and reading the letter.

Unfolding the letter, it said:

 _ **To whom this may concern,**_

 _ **I'll have you know that I am a very busy person. While I am willing to write letters and make friends, this will not be a means for you to waste my time. Therefore, if you must send me a letter, think before you send it.**_

The sender didn't even sign it. James' eyebrows rose in confusion. Why was he or she so rude? James hadn't even had the chance to send a letter to introduce himself, and this person suddenly thought the worst of him.

The anger that he expressed during his argument with Evans began to surface. This person had no right to act so ill-mannered.

James ran his hands through his hair before he thudded down into his chair, startling the barn owl and causing it to fly and settle at the foot of his bed instead.

James pulled out a drawer in his desk before pulling out some parchment and a quill.

Lily yawned and raised her arms in the air to stretch them. She had finished her homework for the evening. She would study more, but the next day was Saturday, so she would wait until then to continue. Now, she needed sleep.

However, before she could begin gathering her toiletries, a clicking noise invaded her senses again.

Turning to the window, a familiar barn owl stared back.

 _Why would he or she send me a letter back so late?_ Lily thought to herself in annoyance.

Groaning, she let the owl in and unwrapped the letter tied in red string.

 _ **I don't know who you think you are, but I think that you were being extremely rude. I haven't even sent you a letter yet and you already think you have me figured out? Well, this will be news to you. Dumbledore asked us to make friends, but if you are going to be this difficult every time we write, I'll save you the trouble and you'll never hear from me again.**_

Lily gawked at the words. She hadn't expected her partner to act so vehemently. She was used to being domineering. The only other person who she had ever faced head-to-head in an argument was James Potter.

She knew that she was quite curt in her last letter, but now she regretted it. _Oh dear_ , she thought. _That was not nice of me at all. Now I've done it._

She settled in front of her desk again and hurriedly began writing.

When she finished, she folded the letter, tied it in her green string, and placed it in beak of her barn owl.

After letting her owl out, she gathered her toiletries and headed to the adjoining bathroom.

Before she closed the bathroom door, her owl had already reached its destination.

James laid back in his bed, facing the canopy and playing with his snitch.

Just as his ears registered the sound of someone entering the adjoining bathroom, he heard a owl clicking at his window.

He deposited the snitch in his pocket and picked the letter from the owl as it flew in.

Untying the green string, he read:

 _ **I sincerely apologize. That was very distasteful of me. I have no right to judge you. I have experienced judgment myself, so I was being completely hypocritical.**_

 _ **I was merely trying to let you know that I will not always be available at every hour of the day due to coursework and other responsibilities, but if it is important or meaningful, I wouldn't mind a letter.**_

 _ **I believe my message was more blunt than purposeful, and I am sorry that it came out that way. I recently got into an argument with my dorm mate, and I was already nervous about the AOL program taking up my time. However, there is no excuse for my words.**_

 _ **Let me try again. Professor Dumbledore told us to choose false names for ourselves. Therefore, you can call me Emerald Flower. My favorite color is emerald green (if you couldn't tell), I enjoy reading fictional stories, and my favorite place in all of Hogwarts is at the top of the Astronomy Tower, where I can see the stars.**_

 _ **I do hope that I have resolved our situation.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

A smile tugged at James' lips. At least she was kind enough to apologize. He assumed it was a girl from her alias.

One interesting thing that he noticed was that his partner's handwriting was very similar to Lily Evans' handwriting. He only knew because he had begged his mates to let him sit behind her in class all year during sixth year. It was the only seat in which he could admire her without her glaring at him for staring. By sitting behind her, he had actually managed to catch her handwriting by looking over her shoulder.

Before he could think on it further, he heard the sound of the shower turning off, reminding James that he should write one last letter before brushing his teeth and going to sleep.

By the time had finished writing it and tied it in red string, he heard Lily leave the adjoining bathroom. He tried not to think about Evans and how she probably smelled like her coconut shampoo and her skin would probably be smooth from her vanilla lotion.

He gave his owl the letter and sent it out the window before entering the adjoining bathroom.

As Lily ran a brush through her hair, her owl clicked on the window again.

She hurried to open it, hoping that her partner had forgiven her for her harsh words.

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **Thank you for apologizing. I, too, am sorry. I will admit that I felt quite bad after sending you that letter. Feeding fire with fire wasn't a smart solution.**_

 _ **I agree with you. Since we both apologized, we should forget about it. You can call me Loyal Lion. In real life, I am a bit mischievous, but extremely loyal to my friends, hence my name. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to play for the Puddlemere United quidditch team. I don't have a favorite color, but I will tell you that I am not very fond of brown. It reminds me of the mud that would get on my shoes on a rainy day at the Quidditch pitch.**_

 _ **I have Quidditch practice tomorrow, so I have to go to sleep. Thank you for apologizing. I think we are going to be really good friends.**_

 _ **Speak to you soon,**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

Lily smiled. _What an interesting name_ , she thought. And even though many of the things that he told her about himself were not out of the ordinary, his tone seemed sincere compared to other who would robotically rattle their likes and dislikes.

Lily tucked the letter into a drawer in her desk before crawling under the covers of her bed and blowing her bedside candle.

 _Indeed, Loyal Lion_ , she thought. _I, too, think that we will be really good friends_.

Alice Fortescue walked to the window in quiet excitement to collect the letter from her Ministry barn owl. She was going to finally find out who her partner was.

She inspected and memorized the tag on her owl's leg. It read: **Property of the Ministry of Magic. Owl Number: 72**

She walked back to her bed, wincing as the bed creaked. She didn't want to wake up the other girls in her dorm, especially Marlene, who could be quite agitated when disturbed.

When she unfolded the letter, she read it and gasped. It read:

 _ **Blood is spoiled when mixed with filth. I have no desire to "make friends" with mudbloods or mudblood supporters. If you align yourself with filth, don't waste your ink. Dirty blood deserves no companion.**_

 _ **The Half-Blood Prince**_

 **0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

 **Wait!**

 **Before you guys eat me alive in the comments, yes, I made the Half-Blood Prince this way intentionally. I have plans for him, so he might seem incredibily bitter and basic for now, but I know that he is a complex and deep character and I am going to handle his character development as best as I can.**

 **Also, I will just throw it out there, but if you haven't read the "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" yet, you should. That way the name "Half-Blood Prince" doesn't go over your head.**

 **Other than that, thank you so much for reading! Check out my profile for my upload schedule and remember that I upload every Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some, it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	6. Ch 6: Quidditch and Libraries

**Hello, my lovely readers!**

 **Before we start, I would like to address my new followers, favorites, and returning reviewers!**

 **Thank you to Aqua0tter and  0416 for adding my story to your favorites! I am so honored!**

 **Thank you to Aqua0tter,  0416, and Ezamhra for following my story! I can't wait for you to see what's in store!**

 **Thank you, Fire and Ice, for reviewing again! And as a response to your review, you are so adorable! Don't worry! I promise that there will be no shipping for Alice and the Severus. I totally have nothing against that ship, but I don't personally ship it, so it is not happening in this story. But I needed to pair them together because I have plans, which you will see. And, yes, I will bring in Frank Longbottom. Fralice is just so cute! But of course Jily and Wolfstar take the center stage, so expect less Fralice than Jily and Wolfstar. :)**

 **Finally, thank you to InTheMidstOfNovember and FountainOfStars for inviting me to the Key Limes Forum, the "officially self-proclaimed Jily forum." I am honored to be a part of it. **

**And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 6: Quidditch Practices and Library Visits

Morning, Saturday, September 3, 1977

Sirius woke up at 5 am for Quidditch practice. He knew Prongs was particular about practicing early and harder than the other teams. They didn't win the Quidditch Cup for 2 years in a row by doing nothing.

His eyes drifted over to a sleeping Remus. He had forgotten how if felt to wake up to his face every morning.

His tore his gaze away from Remus. He knew that if he didn't, his heart rate would speed up. It was extremely painful to be so close.

Seeing a sleeping Peter, though, was quite ordinary, who was loudly snoring in the bed next to Remus.

After Sirius changed and brushed his teeth, he grabbed his Quidditch bag. But as he was leaving, he heard a clicking noise from his window.

He saw Frederick waiting expectantly for him at the window.

 _Oh, right_ , he remembered, _I have to write a letter to Kind Beowulf_.

He let Frederick in before sitting at his desk chair.

Sirius took several minutes to think about his name and what he wanted to say to Kind Beowulf.

He finally decided to just give basic information, just as Kind Beowulf.

Now for a name…

He pondered in quiet frustration for several minutes before his eyes landed on Remus' sleeping form.

He knew what he wanted to name himself.

When he finished the letter, he glanced at the time and nearly jumped out of his skin. It was 5:55 am, meaning he had 5 minutes to get to the Quidditch pitch, or else Prongs would kick his arse into 200 push-ups.

He quickly tied the letter in black string, grabbed his bag, and dashed out the door before he could notice that his rushing woke up Remus.

At the slam of the door, Remus groaned, rubbed his eyes and called out, "Sirius?"

When he received no answer, he yawned as he heard a familiar clicking at his window.

He walked to the window to let Frederick in, quietly to not wake up Wormtail.

Untying the letter, Remus read:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **You seem like a real nice bloke. You remind me a lot of my best mate.**_

 _ **Anyways, you can call me Black Knight. I like to think of myself as a knight, since I want to protect my friends. As for the "Black" part, I won't tell you until I am comfortable. It's kind of a touchy subject.**_

 _ **You said you named yourself Beowulf because it is your favorite myth. It is actually the favorite of my best mate, too. Well, I don't really read much. Maybe you could tell me about it? My best mate thinks that I won't understand it, but he just seriously underestimates me. Haha, I am more of a trickster than a bookworm.**_

 _ **I will admit that I wasn't sure I would like you, since I don't even know you, but I am willing to try.**_

 _ **Regards,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

 _Curiouser and curiouser_ , thought Remus, quoting Alice from "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll. His partner sounded so familiar that Remus wondered if he had had met him in real life.

Remus got out of his bed, stretching. He quietly made his way to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face to wake himself up.

As he dressed, Remus thought about what he wanted to say to Black Knight. So far, Black Knight seemed charming, righteous, and, even though secretive, also open-minded.

 _I wonder how I can make Black Knight feel more comfortable,_ thought Remus.

Remus sat at his desk and crafted a letter to send to Black Knight.

At 7:00 am, Remus was swirling the last few letters of the last few words. Folding it and tying it in grey string, he handed it to Frederick, who flew out the window.

Peter continued to lay snoring in his bed as Remus exited to the dorm to meet Lily in the Great Hall.

* * *

Lily absolutely hated mornings.

She could juggle 10 classes, Head Girl duties, and even offer to pet-sit Headmaster Dumbledore's phoenix, Fawkes, but the mention of waking up early made her want to scream.

Lily growled as she realized that summer was truly over. She couldn't sleep in anymore. She had to wake up to meet Remus.

She didn't know how Potter did it. She knew he had Quidditch practices in the morning mainly because all the girls in her previous dorm, save Alice, wanted to venture to the Quidditch pitch at the crack of dawn to watch Potter score goals.

It was quite odd really, since he was almost always late for every class, but he took Quidditch as seriously as a priest would Sunday masses.

It was 6:00 am, and she had to meet Remus at the Great Hall at 7:00 am before they would head to the library at 8:00 am.

Groaning as she stood up, she brushed through her hair with her fingers when she heard a clicking at her window.

Her barn owl peered into her dorm expectantly.

Groaning again as she remembered that she had to send Loyal Lion a letter, she opened the window and said to the owl, "Just sit here and wait for me to get ready."

With that, she turned to go to the adjoining bathroom.

When she finally left the bathroom, she got dressed and sat at her desk.

She sighed as she tried to think about what she wanted to say.

 _I still feel so awful about last night_ , Lily thought. He had apologized for his words, even though Lily knew she was at fault, which made him seem rational and kind in Lily's mind.

As she tied the string on the finished letter, the hands of the clock were nearing 7:00 am, prompting Lily give her owl the letter and gather her belongings before exiting the dorm.

* * *

Sirius lay on the ground gasping for breath. James had not demanded 200 push-ups when Sirius arrived late. He had demanded 300.

"Get on your broom, Sirius!" James yelled from the air, where he sat on his broomstick, zooming around the goals to block the Quaffle. Normally he played Chaser, but he needed the other Chasers to practice shooting the Quaffle instead of relying on him to make the winning shots. It was flattering, but left the team at a disadvantage should James not be able to play.

Sirius, too tired to get up, rolled over to his broomstick, which laid on the ground next to his Quidditch bag, where he saw Frederick waiting for him with a letter.

He reached out and grabbed the letter.

"Sirius, get in the air now! We are against Ravenclaw next week and you know they are the best at strategy," James warned from above.

"I have a letter! Give me a few minutes," Sirius shouted.

James rolled his eyes but continued to watch his other teammates practice.

Sirius untied the letter.

 _ **Dear Black Knight,**_

 _ **While I would love to engage in a discussion about Beowulf, but I am more interested in who my partner is.**_

 _ **You said that you thought you wouldn't like me at first. Is there a specific reason?**_

 _ **Kind regards,**_

 _ **Kind Beowulf**_

Sirius' mouth twitched. He wanted to smile since his partner was so nice, but he also wanted to grimace. How could he explain his hatred for the Slytherins to a complete stranger? And another thing: should he?

Sirius reached for his emergency quill kit. It was a gift from Remus from sixth year's Christmas. Sirius grinned as he remembered Remus' exact words: _You never know when you will need to write an emergency letter!_

As Sirius began to start his letter, his eyes caught another barn owl swooping down, this time sitting next to James' bag.

James, who also saw the owl, signaled for the other teammates to take a break and flew down to receive the letter.

"Hypocrite!" Sirius chuckled as James' feet touched the ground.

James grinned and playfully punched Sirius' shoulder as he walked by.

He plucked the letter from his owl's beak before sitting next to Sirius and pulling out his own quill kit, also a gift from Remus, whose affinity for stationery made sixth year's Christmas an odd one.

When James untied the letter, it read:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **I just wanted to apologize again for my cruel words last night. I wasn't being fair to you at all. I have just been having a difficult time with all of my responsibilities, and I had just recently gotten into an argument with my roommate, so that added to my temper last night.**_

 _ **I also wanted to thank you for forgiving me. I don't think that I have ever met someone who could forgive a complete stranger, especially after I treated you so poorly. So thank you.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James smiled. She was too kind. She didn't have to apologize again. Now he wanted to help her. He was also curious about her roommate.

Once he was finished writing his letter, he was about to tie it when Sirius asked, "So what's your owl's name?"

James was confused. "Huh?"

Sirius teasingly rolled his eyes. "Well, you can't honestly call it by its number every time you see it."

James nodded. "True."

He unfolded his letter again to ask Emerald Flower what they should name their owl. He then tied the letter and sent it away.

"Well?" Sirius asked.

"I am going to ask my partner to help me name it," said James. "What did you and your partner decide on?"

Sirius chuckled nervously, "Um...we didn't?"

James shoved him playfully again. "Hypocrite."

Sirius laughed. "No, I picked one by myself but forgot to ask my partner."

James nodded before jumping to his feet. "Well, get to it, because we have to get back to practice."

Sirius grinned. "Okay, okay, I'm coming."

Sirius finished the letter and gave it to Frederick before he and James hopped onto their brooms and headed for the skies.

* * *

"That's your reasoning?!" Remus whispered almost too loudly.

Lily flinched internally before raising a finger to her lips to shush him. She did not want Madam Pince to kick them out from where they stood in the library.

"Your reason for silencing all the prefects, including me, was because you thought you were exercising your power as Head Girl?" Remus' eyes were wide with shock. "The last time I checked, Head students were leaders, not dictators!"

"Remus, please calm down!" Lily whispered fiercely. "Look, I-I was just too tired last night to talk over everyone and, well, you can't blame me since it did the job so…"

Remus sighed loudly, "Lily, what is this really about?"

Lily jerked. "W-what?"

Remus gripped her shoulders. "Lily, I have known you for seven years, and we have been close friends for the last three, ever since you saved me in the lavatories in 4th year. I think I know when there is something going on with you."

Lily's jaw clenched. Memories from that day threatened to invade her mind. She involuntarily clenched her fists. _How could anyone hurt someone as kind as Remus?_ She shoved the thoughts away. "Remus, I wanted to save you that day. It wasn't even a question. And there is nothing going on! I'm fine. Look, let's just talk about something else."

"Lily-"

"Tell me about Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, beaming and taking Remus' hands off shoulders to clasp them in her own.

Remus pursed his lips before relenting. He didn't want to pressure her if she wasn't comfortable. "Fine, let's just find a table to sit at before we start studying."

They looped their arms together and weaved through the shelves before setting on a table near a window where they could study in the natural light.

Lily set her bag down and pulled out a chair as she asked softly, "How is living in the same dorm with him again?"

"Lily, it's the same answer every year. Painful. And it got worse last night."

Lily's eyebrows scrunched. "What happened last night?"

Remus recounted Sirius' satisfaction upon receiving a letter from his partner. Lily then leaned into her palm against her cheek and thought for several moments.

"What are you thinking?" Remus asked.

Lily clasped Remus' hands in her own before speaking. "Two things: one, there is a possibility that Sirius is just relieved that he didn't get a Slytherin-"

"Maybe, but, given his mischievous nature, he might just be excited to flirt with someone new," Remus cut in, "but go on."

"-and two, I worry about you, Remus, and if this is causing you so much pain," Lily stopped talking to grip his shoulders just as he did to her earlier, "then you need to tell him how you feel."

Remus flinched, his eyes wide in fear. "Lily, you know I can't!"

"Remus!"

"Lily!"

"Shhhh!" Madam Pince shushed them as she walked by.

"Sorry…" Remus and Lily mumbled at the same time.

Madam Pince shook her head disapprovingly as she walked away.

Lily turned back to Remus.

Remus sighed. "Can we please talk about something else?"

Before Lily could reply, a clicking noise sounded on the window adjacent to their study table. It was her AOL owl.

The chair gave a small scratching noise as Lily stood up to open the window. She plucked the letter as her owl flew in.

From the corner of her eye, she saw another brown mass coming her way.

"Oh!" Lily gasped as she ducked, nearly getting hit by the second owl that flew in.

"Frederick!" Remus beamed as Frederick settled on Remus' outstretched arm. Remus looked at Lily, who stood with her arms crossed. She was not impressed.

Remus laughed. "Sorry, Lily. I guess I'll have to train him."

Lily's face broke into a grin and she, too, laughed. She could never stay mad at Remus for very long.

Remus grinned. "You better close the window if you don't want to get hit again."

Lily stuck her tongue out at him but closed the window.

She sat down in her chair untied the letter. It said:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **No need to apologize again. I understand. I have a temper, too, but a lot of people don't know about it.**_

 _ **But what responsibilities do you have that bother you so much? Is it school? It can't be because it is only the beginning of the school year, unless you are one of those anxious types? And what is going with your roommate?**_

 _ **Speak to you soon,**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

 _ **P.S. What should we name our owl? Calling it Owl 71 would be pretty boring, if you ask me.**_

Lily scoffed indignantly. She thought, _I am not one of "those anxious types!"_

Remus craned his neck to read her letter.

"Wait!" Lily turned the letter away. "You can't read it if you are Loyal Lion. That will spoil the mystery."

Remus shook his head. "Loyal Lion? No, I am Kind Beowulf."

"Oh!" Lily rose her hand as if to high-five him. "Nice touch of mythology."

"Naturally," Remus said, grinning, as he high-fived her.

Lily showed Remus the letter.

Remus read it and then had to cover his laughter with his hand.

"What?" Lily asked.

"You _are_ 'one of those anxious types.'" Remus laughed.

"I am not," Lily shot back.

"You're in denial, as usual," Remus countered, still laughing.

Lily playfully poked him and said, "Just open your letter so we can read it."

Remus untied the letter as Lily pulled out a quill to start writing a reply to Loyal Lion.

Remus letter said:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **It's a touchy subject. The short answer is that I thought I wouldn't like you because I thought you might be a Slytherin. I am sorry if you are a Slytherin, or are friends with any Slytherins, because I actually hate them for their snobbishness and supposed superiority over everyone else, especially half-bloods and muggleborns. My best mate, who happens to be a half-blood, says that not all Slytherins are the same, but for the most part, a lot of them deserve to go to Azkaban. I don't even know how my half-blood best mate can defend them, but I guess I do since he is always looking for the good in people.**_

 _ **Regards,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

Lily read the letter over Remus' shoulder. She clicked her tongue. "Touchy, touchy, that one."

"So what?" Remus asked.

Lily grinned and shook her head teasingly. "Good luck handling that one. I might be slightly neurotic," Lily made a sign with her index and thumb to resemble something small, "but your partner is on an entirely different level: hell-bent on revenge for something that the Slytherins did to him."

"I'll take care of it," Remus said, with his nose in the air.

"If you say so," Lily said, shrugging.

They finished writing the letters and Lily opened the window to let the owls out.

"Now," Remus began to say, "which subject should we do first?"

"Transfiguration." Lily groaned desperately. " _Please_."

Remus teased, "Why don't you ask James?"

Lily raised her finger to Remus' lips to silence him. "Don't. Even. Get. Me. Started."

Remus laughed as they pulled their Transfiguration books out and began to study.

* * *

 **I imagine you all have questions. Or maybe not at all and I will have to work harder as a writer to intrigue you! Either way, it's okay because I am having so much fun writing either way!**

 **But yes, I am so excited! Everything is going well for me on the writing end. Everything is in motion in ways you all have yet to see, so keep reading! Remember that I post every Saturday*! Goodbye! :)**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	7. Ch 7: Trust Issues

**Hello! How is everyone?**

 **You are all so lucky that I love you. This is the longest chapter I have written to date! Enjoy!**

 **But before you go off to reading, let me thank those who have reviewed, favorited, and followed!**

 **Note: for some reason, usernames with periods in them don't show up when I publish the chapter, so to those with periods in your usernames, please excuse me as I just type out your names without the periods.**

 **Thank you to A So Called Reader, HufflepuffQueen321, Shamelessnweird, mathur pavani, and tinlawia for following my story! It is always wonderful to have new family members!**

 **Thank you to HufflepuffQueen321 and Shamelessnweird for favoriting my story! I am so honored that my story was so good that you favorited!**

 **Thank you to Shamelessnweird for the amazing reviews and messages! You are so generous. **

**And thank you to Fire and Ice for returning and reviewing! There are time when I can't even believe that you came back! **

**And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Trust Issues

Evening, Saturday, September 3, 1977

Remus had walked Lily back to her dormitory before walking back to his in Gryffindor Tower.

When he arrived in his bedroom, he found James and Sirius wrestling on James' old bed. They seemed to be fighting over a very small object in Sirius' hands.

"Boys…" Remus reprimanded teasingly, with his hands on his hips and his left foot tapping the floor.

Both boys looked to Remus at the entrance. Sirius beamed. "Remus! You're back!"

While Sirius was distracted, James swiped the small object out of Sirius' hand and slapped the back of Sirius' head.

"Hey!" Sirius yelled. "Why'd you hit me?"

"Because you took what was mine," James replied, holding the small object far away from Sirius' grasp. In doing so, Remus was able to see that it was a letter wrapped in green string.

"Is that a letter from your AOL partner?" Remus asked, sitting in his bed.

"Yes, and he won't open it!" Sirius exclaimed, grinning, "He's been twirling it around in his fingers for hours."

James smirked. "That's because if I do, I know that you'll just snatch it out of my hand to read it!"

Sirius scoffed. "I would never do that!"

James fired back, laughing. "You did it today down at the Quidditch pitch after we finished practice."

Sirius waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "I have no idea what you two are talking about. Besides, why are you so scared about me reading it? Is it a girl? Are you finally going to get over Evans?"

"No!" James exclaimed, blushing. "And you know I still like Evans…"

Remus laughed. "Is that all you two have been doing all day? Fighting over a letter?"

It was Sirius' turn to blush. "No! We...um...we did some studying, right, Prongs?"

James coughed under his breath. "More like studying some pictures of a certain roommate..."

Sirius jabbed James in the ribs. "Anyways! What have you been doing all day, Moony?"

As Remus and Sirius conversed, James turned away discreetly and untied the letter. His grin fell.

Sirius and Remus finally noticed James' silence. "What's wrong, Prongs?" asked Remus.

James gathered his things. "I have to go."

Sirius opened his mouth to ask him to wait, but James had already stormed out.

James was running down the stairs and through the Gryffindor common room where collided into another student, causing them both to drop their things and fall to the ground.

James rubbed his throbbing nose and scrunched his eyelids before opening his eyes. "Alice?"

Alice rubbed her forehead but stared back at him. "Yes, sorry, James. I couldn't see you behind my stack of books."

James raised his hands in the air. "No, it's my fault. I was running without looking. Here, let me help you with your books."

As the two gathered the books, James glimpsed several of the titles. "' _Princes of the Times_?' ' _Royalty Through the Ages_?' What do you need these books for?" James questioned.

"Oh, um…" Alice struggled to come up with an answer.

"Are you developing a crush on a historical prince? Oh, what will Frank think?" James teased.

Alice laughed. "Of course not. I need these for...um…" She hesitated until an answer came to her. "My paper! For...uh...for History of Magic, of course!"

James raised an eyebrow, but didn't question further.

The two finished picking up her books and James picked up his things when Alice noticed that he had dropped a green string. She picked it up to give it to him but then she froze. She had seen that string before. She could have sworn that it was the exact string Lily used to tie her letters throughout the summer. _No, it couldn't be,_ she thought, _could it? Lily would never write to James._

"Where did you get this string?" Alice asked.

Seeing the string, James remembered the reason for his abrupt departure from Remus' and Sirius' dorm and his face darkened. He ignored the question. "I really have to go, but it was nice seeing you, Alice."

He took the string and his belongings and quickly left.

Alice wondered if she should investigate, but she decided against it. She wouldn't pry into James' private life. Besides, she had something else more important to do.

 _That was odd,_ Alice thought, _but at least he didn't find out the real reason for these books._

Alice started to walk up the stairs to her dorm. _Time to find out who you are, Half-Blood Prince._

* * *

James threw his Quidditch bag against his bedroom wall and it sounded with a loud thud, causing his bed frame to shake and dust to snow down from the ceiling. He roughly ran his hands through his hair, ready to pull it out.

James pulled the letter out and reread it:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **I wish I could tell you, but I don't even know you. How can I know that you won't my use my insecurities against me? There are things about me that even my closest friends don't even know. How can I even trust you?**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James threw the letter towards his desk before pacing around his room furiously.

He tried to calm himself down. _Of course she wouldn't know,_ he thought, _how can she know about my past?_

A flashback sliced through his mind.

 _Fleamont Potter shouted at him. "James, how can I trust you? How can I when you-"_

"No!" James shouted, his hand closing into a fist and slamming down onto his desk.

He shoved his chair out and threw himself in it, snatching at drawer handles and pulling out parchment and quills.

He shoved his quill into an ink pot when his eyes caught a flash of red. It was his only framed picture of Lily Evans.

His quill fell out of his hand as he reached out to pick up the picture from its place on the desk. The picture was actually cut from a group photo of the entire class of that year. He had cut out everyone's faces so that Lily's remained. It was from Lily's 4th year, and while he could have cut the more recent pictures from 5th and 6th year, the 4th year one was his favorite because of what had happened outside the lavatories that year.

He remembered what she had said to Remus in the lavatories that day: " _I may seem cruel to Potter, but everything I do, I do it to protect myself or my friends. Don't be afraid to get angry if you are going to use it to defend something you believe in, even if it is yourself. You should only be afraid when you find yourself getting angry to defend something that you don't believe in."_

He set down the photo and lifted his quill again. And he began to write.

* * *

Lily awoke from her nap to a thumping noise from James' room. _What is that boy doing?_

She groaned as she pulled the covers back and slid out of bed. She didn't have the patience to reprimand him anymore and pondered if she should just pretend he didn't live in the next room over. She wondered if she should just imagine another boy lived there, such as Remus, or if Alice or Marlene lived there.

She sighed. _If only._

She walked into the bathroom the wash her face and brush her teeth before walking back to her room to find her AOL owl waiting at her window.

She opened it to let her owl in. "Oh, hello."

It swooped over her desk, dropping the letter there, before resting on her trunk.

Lily sat at her desk and picked up the letter but didn't open it immediately. She didn't know if she wanted to see her partner's reply to the previous letter. Even she would not have known how to respond to the letter she sent to Loyal Lion.

After a few seconds, her curiosity persuaded her to untie the string.

The letter said:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **Then we both have something in common. We both have people in our lives that we care about but would never tell our secrets. And that means that we both understand the importance of secrecy. So tell me.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

Lily sighed. Oh how she wanted to tell him. She needed to tell somebody and she felt like she was breathing and choking at the same time every time Remus or Alice questioned her about it.

But it seemed silly. Why should she tell this stranger her darkest secret when she couldn't even tell it to her best friends?

Her owl watched her as she wrote a reply to Loyal Lion and silently took off after she gave it the letter.

* * *

James shook his head. The Potions homework was difficult at best, and useless at worst. He knew he was going to be an Auror after Hogwarts. What was he going to need Potions for?

He imagined himself in the middle of the battlefield, in the middle of dueling a Death Eater, and him stopping to tell his opponent, "Hey, sorry, can you give me a few minutes to make this Draught of Living Death for you? It tastes delicious!"

His head started to pound until he realized that it was actually the clicking at his window.

Once he let his owl in, it dropped the letter at his desk.

When he opened the letter, it read:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **Do you always ask people you have just met for their darkest secrets? You must be a real charmer around women.**_

 _ **Besides, how many people have you ever asked to spill their secrets and how many actually done so?**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James laughed out loud. So there was some spice that came with her fire.

He wrote his reply before reluctantly returning to his Potions homework.

* * *

Lily bent over to pick up the stack of sweaters from her trunk. She still had much unpack because she had spent Thursday evening studying for Transfiguration.

A familiar clicking noise sounded from her window.

She opened the window and let it swoop in once more and leave the letter at her desk.

It read:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **Where was that sass the other day when you were basically nagging me for stealing your time? If you were going to be yelling at me, I thought you would have at least made it interesting.**_

 _ **And about the other people trusting me, they kind of just...don't. I am pretty immature in real life. I can only think of one person who trusts me with their secret, and that was only when I figured it out myself.**_

 _ **But I can be serious. Look, you've just got to trust me. That's how friendship works.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion.**_

Lily scratched her head. How could Loyal Lion expect her to trust him when he had just said that not many people trusted him? To be fair, he just said that they didn't tell him their secrets, so that just meant that they thought he was untrustworthy, but it didn't make him more trustworthy either.

But of course there was that one person who he said he kept a secret for. Did that person still just Loyal Lion?

Lily knew she had to investigate more.

* * *

James had left his window open. He knew that he was going to get a quick reply and he didn't want to get up from his Potions homework to open the window.

As expected, his AOL owl flew in and dropped the letter in his lap.

He untied it to read it:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **I am not sure I can trust someone whom many deem untrustworthy, even if that one person you keep a secret for trusts you.**_

 _ **Convince me.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James sighed. He had to try harder. He had to prove that he could be trusted. If not for Lily or his father, then for himself.

* * *

Lily let out a content sigh as she shut her closet. All her robes, sweaters, skirts, and shoes were finally stored away in her closet.

A familiar rustling of wings came from her open window. When she turned, her owl had already left the letter at her desk.

She untied the red string to read:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **How can I put it?**_

 _ **If you want me to be funny, I can say that since not many people trust me with their secrets, there is a lot of room in me to hold all your secrets without you worrying about me exploding and shouting your secrets from the Astronomy Tower.**_

Lily giggled. She had never heard such flawed logic. She continued reading.

 _ **If you want me to be logical, I can say that there is no reason for you to not tell me your secrets. I don't even know you. Who would I tell? And why would I? I can't judge you for your insecurities because I don't even know you. But I want to.**_

 _ **And I can be serious. You know what I am going to do to convince you. I am going to tell you something that I have never told anyone. I have trust issues. And not the ones where I can't trust other people. Other people don't trust me. And it drives me mad. Want-to-jump-off-my-broomstick mad. People say that I am too immature. No one can take me seriously, not even my family or the girl that I am in love with. Can you blame a guy for having a little fun?**_

 _ **We don't have to start with the deep stuff. We can start with something simple. Just talk to me.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

Lily stared at the parchment in shock. _That was intense,_ she thought.

But she had to agree. He made several good points. He didn't know who she was, so he couldn't tell anyone about her secrets, and he understood how it felt to feel so...much.

Start simple. _Well,_ she thought, _the topic of roommates is both relatable and simple. But Potter is not simple at all._ She sighed. _I will just have to go with it. And I will have to pretend he's a girl._

Everyone knew that the only co-ed dormitory at Hogwarts was the Head's dormitory. If she let slip to Loyal Lion that her roommate was male, he would surely find out who she was.

Lily took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She felt the familiar prickly, uncomfortable feeling of anxiety in her stomach. _Your abhorrence towards Potter is not news to anyone,_ she told herself. _This is the same as talking to anyone else._

But something about communicating through the intimate art of letters and talking about trust and secrets made this whole affair feel more meaningful, somehow.

 _Why do you want to tell him anything at all?_ A voice in her head told her. _He is just going to make fun of you. You are such a mess on the inside. He is going to laugh at it and tell everyone in the entire school about what a failure you are._

Lily almost dropped her quill. Her breaths quickened as those thoughts sunk in. Could they be true? Could Loyal Lion ever do any of those things?

She reread Loyal Lions words.

 _ **No one can take me seriously, not even my family or the girl that I am in love with.**_

Lily put the letter aside and began writing. Loyal Lion was right. She needed to trust him, for both their sakes.

* * *

James lay in his bed with an arm covering his eyes. He groaned. He actually had a pounding headache now from his Potions homework.

He lay there rubbing his eyes until something fell on his face.

"Huh?" exclaimed James.

His owl had dropped the letter on his face.

He laughed out loud and stared at his owl, who was perched at the bedside table.

"Who taught you that?" James teased, poking his owl. It squawked in indignation before sitting on his trunk.

When he untied the letter, it said:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **Thanks for telling me your secret. I still can't believe you told it to me, especially since you said that you haven't told it to anyone before now.**_

 _ **My roommate and I have a history. I've known her since first year. She's everything that I abhor in a person. Childish, loud, and spoiled. And it doesn't help that she keeps flirting with me and acting as if she knows me. She thinks that all she has to do is court me and I will fall into her arms. She has no idea the kind of judgment I go through every day. The kinds of thoughts I have swirling in my head.**_

 _ **We've been fighting for years. We have constant arguments about everything and nothing. Doesn't it sound so stupid? But all we do is fight. And you want to know something? I am so tired. I am so tired of fighting and getting angry and remembering all the terrible things we have said to each other over the years..**_

 _ **Anyways, I am sorry to bring this negativity into our letters, but I have just been dealing with this for years and no matter how many times I tell my friends, they just tell me I am over-exaggerating or that I should give her a chance. What do you think?**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James rested his face in his palm. Emerald Flower seemed to be wrestling with this issue for quite some time, and it sounded like it was taking an emotional toll on her.

He reread her words. _**Childish, loud, and spoiled.**_ He let out a humorless laugh. If Evans had to describe him, she would choose these exact words.

 _You know what?_ , he thought to himself, _Maybe my situation with Evans is like Emerald Flower's situation with her roommate. If the solution to my problem with Evans is to find a way to be friends, then the solution to Emerald Flower's problem is that they should try becoming friends._

* * *

Lily closed her book and it gave a satisfying smack. Transfiguration was eating at her and she was just glad to have finished that chapter.

She jumped when the cover of her Transfiguration textbook was replaced by a letter in red string.

She sighed and giggled. Her owl sat on her desk and stared at her. She stroked its wings.

"Silly bird," she chided, "You scared me."

When she untied the letter, it read:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **I don't know who your roommate is, but I do know that it would probably be best to become friends with her. Think about it this way: you are going to be living with her for the entire year. You might as well make peace if you don't want to spend the entire year arguing.**_

 _ **And it doesn't sound like your roommate has done anything other than argue with you. She hasn't done anything else to hurt you, right? She hasn't hexed you or hit you or anything like that? If she hasn't done anything else, maybe there is no other reason to hate each other.**_

 _ **And shouldn't we be nice to people in general? If you two have really said all these terrible things to each other, maybe you two should talk and apologize. Remember when you first sent me a letter? You didn't know me and judged me, but we solved it quickly because we both knew it was just a misunderstanding.**_

 _ **I used to hate this one bloke because he was friends with a girl that I am in love with. I'll be honest. I used to bully him. But I stopped because it was hurting the girl that I am in love with. I can never be with her because of is. Don't make my mistake.**_

 _ **Anyways, just give her a chance. What if she is really a nice person?**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

Lily held her hand over her heart. _Poor Loyal Lion,_ she thought.

She then remembered her argument with Potter, and something inside panged with guilt. Maybe, just like she acted with Loyal Lion, she should not have been so harsh to Potter.

She groaned because she realized he was right. This tension between her and Potter was quite childish. And Potter had never done anything other than irritate her. She knew that she needed to be the mature witch that put an end to it.

She also groaned because Alice and Remus had been using the same arguments for years, but she never believed them. She always assumed that they just wanted James and her to get together and that they wanted to tease her about how they "told her so." But Loyal Lion and Alice and Remus were right. While James Potter was annoying, he had never done anything truly heinous.

She sighed and began to write a thank you letter.

* * *

James kicked his desk. He wanted to tear his Potions homework up and feed it to the Giant Squid.

His anger lessened when he was greeted by his owl returning with a letter from Emerald Flower.

It dropped the letter into his hands before resting on his trunk.

He untied the green string and it read:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **You're right. You know what? I am going to do it. It was silly of me to think that I could hold a grudge for so long. Thank you for talking to me about this.**_

 _ **I am not ready to talk about the "deep stuff" yet, but I will be soon. I have really enjoyed our conversations.**_

 _ **Also, to answer your question about our owl's name, I like the name Matilda.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James grinned. _She trusts me!_ , he thought.

He stroked Matilda's chin. "Hello, Tilly," he said.

As he put the letter away in his desk drawer, he heard a knock at the door.

When he opened the door, he stared into the eyes of Lily Evans.

"Can I come in?"

* * *

 **Should I stop here? Or not?**

 **...fine. I won't. Only because I am a nice person! I don't want to keep my readers waiting.**

* * *

Mouth agape, James stepped aside and let her rush in, her arms crossed.

Lily looked around the room. Posters of Quidditch teams covered the walls and the air smelt of his broomstick polish. To her surprise, he didn't have clothes flung around the room or stacks of parchment littering his desk.

James closed the door and walked to sit in his desk chair. Discreetly, he reached for his picture of Lily and hid it in a desk drawer. He turned back to her.

"Have a seat," James suggested, gesturing to his bed.

Lily wrinkled her nose. "I don't want to sit in a place where you might have slept with half the female students in our year."

James rolled his eyes. "Evans, it's late. I am not in the mood for an argument. Get talking or get out."

Lily clicked her tongue. "Fine." She scanned the room before her eyes landed on his trunk, where Matilda still perched. Lily settled down next to her.

"Hello," Lily cooed, petting Matilda.

Lily looked to James. "Is this your AOL owl?"

James nodded. "Yes, and I can send her away if you actually have something to talk about."

Lily looked back at Matilda. "I do, and it would be best if she left. I don't want to know your AOL Number."

"Why not?"

"Wouldn't you like the mystery?"

James sighed. "Then you are just like Remus, but we are getting off topic. I'll send her away."

James held his arm out and let Matilda rest on it. He walked to his open window and stroked her wings before letting her fly to the Owlery for the night.

The window clicked shut behind him as he returned to his seat. "So what is this about?"

Lily squirmed where she sat. She wrung her hands together several times before responding. "I've been thinking...that we should put our past behind us."

James raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I think we should be friends," she mumbled.

James' brows furrowed. "Friends?"

Lily nodded.

James looked hard into her eyes. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, maintaining eye contact.

He broke the silence to ask, "Is this about your ego?"

Lily glared at him. "What?"

James glared right back. "You've hated me for years. Why be friends now? I bet this is about you proving to everyone that you can get off your high horse."

Lily shot up from her seat and scoffed. "I didn't come here for you to insult me, Potter!"

James shot up from his seat as well. "Then leave!"

"Fine!" Lily shouted. "I was right about you! You are just a bullying toerag!"

She headed for the door.

James groaned and grabbed her arm. "Evans, wait."

Lily tried to tug her arm back. "What do you want?"

"To prove to you that I am not a bullying toerag," he answered, pulling her back to her seat on his trunk.

Lily huffed but remained silent.

James sunk back into his chair and took his glasses off to rub his eyes. When he opened them and put his glasses back on, Lily looked anywhere but at him.

James began to speak. "Why do you want to be friends now, of all times?"

Lily turned to look at him. She collected her thoughts before replying. "I just think that since we are going to be roommates, we should set aside our differences. We should just apologize and be civil."

James stared at her thoughtfully. He then answered. "Then you apologize first."

Lily jolted. "I beg your pardon?"

James continued. "You've been busting my eardrums for the past seven years. I deserve an apology."

Lily retorted, "And you've been on my back for seven years with your 'extravagant romantic gestures.'"

James brushed the comment aside. "Evans, if we are going to be friends, we are going to do it right. I'll apologize if you apologize."

Lily clicked her tongue but finally said, "Fine," she answered, looking directly into James' eyes. "I am sorry for yelling at you or judging you without even knowing you. I realize that it wasn't fair to you. Looking back at my actions, I realize that I've been terribly harsh to you. Now, I really just want to believe that you can be a decent person and that we can have a decent friendship."

James grinned. "Was that so hard?"

"Potter-" Lily warned.

"Call me James. I forgive you, and I am sorry for bothering you all those years. I know I can be a big flirt and all," he replied. He looked at his feet in shame when he said, "And...I am sorry about Snape. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He stood up and walked to her. He extended his hand. "Do you forgive me, Lily?"

She eyed his hand before looking into his hazel eyes. She reached out and shook it. "I forgive you," she answered. "I forgive you...James."

James smirked and replied, "Good."

With their hands still being connected, he pulled her to his desk. "Now help me with my homework."

Lily let out a small laugh. "Are you serious? We become friends and that is the first thing you ask of me?"

James shrugged sheepishly. "It's what friends are for, right?"

"Wrong," Lily teased, but sat down in his desk chair anyways, eyes dancing with amusement. "But I will be willing to make an exception for you."

James grinned. "Oh, really?"

Lily failed to hide her small smile. "To make up for seven years of lost time."

* * *

 ***falls into a heap of exhaustion***

 **This chapter was a workout for my fingers and brain.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and I hope you come back to read more! You know when the next chapter comes out! Saturdays!***

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	8. Ch 8: Beginning of Change

**Hello! Are we doing okay?**

 **Hopefully we are, because things are going fine on the writing end.**

 **Anyways, I keep forgetting the disclaimer so here it is: I do not own this amazing world of characters. J. K. Rowling is the clever creator. However, I craftily created the plot.**

 **Before you read, please let me give my thanks to my new favorites and followers and returning reviewers.**

 **Thank you to The K2 for following my story! I am so glad you enjoyed it enough to follow it.**

 **Thank you to Tanglefire7 for adding my story to your Favorites! It means so much that you not only returned but you like what you returned to!**

 **Thank you to Shamelessnweird for returning and reviewing! You are excited for the next ones? I am excited for you to read the next ones! **

**And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 8: Beginning of Change

Midday Sunday, September 4, 1977

Sirius had yet to open up the letter he received from Kind Beowulf. He was worried that he had officially scared Kind Beowulf away with his harsh words about the Slytherins.

Sirius stared at the letter sitting on his desk. It would be so easy to just burn the letter and tell his partner that it must have gotten lost or something along those lines.

Sirius glared at the blasted letter. Why did he care so much about Kind Beowulf's response? Was it just because Kind Beowulf was similar to Moony, who remained another entirely different yet still uncomfortable topic?

"What are you doing?"

Sirius looked up to see Remus standing at the doorway.

Sirius ran his hand through his hair. "What do you mean?"

Remus gave a small smile as he dropped his bag at his bedside. "You were staring at that letter on your desk with such intensity that I can only assume that it must have wronged you in some way."

Sirius laughed. "Not yet."

Remus chuckled, not understanding but not thinking too hard on it either because he was used to Sirius' nonsense. "Just open it."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You don't even know what's inside of it and you think that I should open it?"

"Padfoot," Remus started, "If there is anything you are afraid of, it isn't confrontation. You have all the traits of a Gryffindor. You're impulsive and you throw yourself into situations without thinking first and make up the plan along the way. On a normal day, you would have already opened the letter before giving yourself time to get nervous and back out."

Sirius was silent. Did Moony really know him that well?

Sirius smiled. "Thanks."

Remus beamed. "Of course." Remus then proceeded to open up a book and ignore him, a sign that Remus wasn't going to say anything else until Sirius opened and read the letter.

Sirius sighed, walked over to his desk, picked up the letter, and sat down at the desk. He waved his letter in the air to show Remus that he was going to open it. Remus did not look up from his book but waved him away.

Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled as his fingers untied the grey string.

It said:

 _ **Dear Black Knight,**_

" _ **History is written by the victors." Winston Churchill, a muggle who played an influential role in the muggle World Wars, said this line. It means that whoever wins the fight gets to make the rules. They name the side that isn't theirs the "bad guys" and they call themselves the "good guys." And until the next war, the "bad guys" are judged or ridiculed until they find a way to shed the name.**_

 _ **I believe that this happened to the Slytherins. They were probably a group of good-willed people who accidentally let their ambition overpower their morals. So they lost, and they are now known as the "bad guys." I believe that for a lot of the Slytherins, they have a story that they just haven't had a chance to tell. So give them that chance.**_

 _ **You know, we haven't sent letters for very long, but I can already tell what kind of person you are. Righteous, loyal, and stubborn. But you are also ambitious, given that you truly want to succeed in putting some of the actual bad Slytherins in Azkaban. And while ambition is a positive trait, it can turn you into the small percentage of Slytherins that you hate so much.**_

 _ **Kind regards,**_

 _ **Kind Beowulf**_

 _ **P.S. I like the name Frederick, because it means "peaceful ruler."**_

Sirius' eyebrows were raised in disbelief. _Did he just compare me to a Slytherin...but in a good way? Blimey, he's bold._

He grinned. _I kind of like it. And we managed to come up with the same name for our AOL owl. What a coincidence!_

Remus looked up to see Sirius grinning at his letter and suddenly a nasty feeling tugged at his heart.

Remus sighed. _What could his partner have said that would have made him smile like that?_

Remus continued to stare forlornly at Sirius and watched as he scribbled down a letter.

When Sirius tied the letter and sent Frederick away, Sirius looked up at Remus. "Are you okay?"

Remus smiled, but it felt like a grimace. "Yes, fine."

A clicking sounded at Remus' window.

Remus opened it and Frederick flew in to rest at Remus' bedpost.

Remus pulled the letter from Frederick's beak and untied it.

It read:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **You are a interesting person. The good kind of interesting.**_

 _ **Bold of you to compare me to a Slytherin, but at least you slipped in a compliment. Sneaky, sneaky. For a second, I thought you were going to be an adorable yet naive bookworm, but you sound like you've done this before. Just like you said about the Slytherins, there's more to you.**_

 _ **Stick around and maybe you'll also see that there is more to me, too.**_

 _ **Regards,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

Remus blushed. _He called me adorable. Is he flirting with me?_

It was Sirius turn to glare. _What did his partner say to make him blush like that?_

* * *

Afternoon, Wednesday, September 21, 1977

The leaf sizzled in the potion after Professor Slughorn dropped it into his cauldron. He beamed. "Now that you have seen the demonstration, it is time to discuss with your assigned potions partners. Be sure to finish your potions with 15 minutes left of class so that I may examine them."

Lily started to gather empty flasks to be used to make the potions when she looked over to see James scanning the textbook and writing the ingredients down on a list.

Lily smirked. "James Potter? Working? What universe did I wander into?"

James looked up and grinned back. "Those good grades have to come from somewhere."

Lily turned back to assembling the flasks and joked, "All these years, I thought they came out of your arse."

James whistled and laid a hand on his heart, pretending to feel hurt and fighting a grin. "Ouch, that hurts, especially since I have been working all this time for that past two weeks that we have been friends."

Lily rolled her eyes playfully. "Fine, that's fair. Just finish the list so we can make the potion."

James wiggled his eyebrows with playful rebellion before returning to the list.

15 minutes into the process, Lily turned back to see James struggling to extract the juice from one of the ingredients. He kept trying to stab it as it squirmed under his fingers.

Lily giggled. "Let me help you."

She moved next to him and placed her hands over his, guiding them so that the knife's side pressed against the ingredient rather than piercing it. As the juice leaked out, James watched Lily collect it into a flask. "How did you know to do that?"

Lily smiled softly as she poured the juice into the cauldron. "Practice."

She placed the flask back on the table and turned to find that she was still standing next to him, their shoulders touching with their faces mere inches from each other.

For a second, she lingered.

But then she stepped back, heat rising in her cheeks. "Right...just...start working on the next ingredient."

James' face was also blushing. "Okay."

Just one table over were Sirius and Remus. Remus was sprinkling in one of the ingredients in while Sirius looked over at James and Lily, shaking his head. "Moony, can you believe that Prongs and Evans are friends? The bird slams the door on his face for 6 years before finally quitting? We have to be dreaming!"

Remus answered by pinching Sirius' side.

"Ouch!"

Remus gave him a disapproving stare. "That is what you get for jumping to conclusions. Lily may be stubborn, but she is a good person. And shouldn't you be glad that James is finally friends with her? Now he isn't hurting as much anymore."

Sirius rolled his eyes and grumbled unintelligibly.

Remus and Sirius looked over to see Lily and James laughing over a joke that James had just made while James stirred the potion in the cauldron. Remus sighed in admiration while Sirius continued shaking his head in disbelief.

"Blood traitor!"

All eyes looked at Bellatrix Lestrange on one side of the room, whose finger pointed directly at James and Lily on the other side of the room.

Bellatrix sneered, "A Pureblood and a Mudblood mating! The Dark Lord will not be happy to hear about this."

Remus turned to see why Professor Slughorn hadn't said anything. It turns out that Professor Slughorn had fallen asleep at his desk while reading a Potions textbook.

Lily glared back at Bellatrix. "First of all, we are not 'mating.'" Lily used air quotations.

James continued for her. "And second of all, it wouldn't be any of your damn business if we were!"

James stormed up to her and glared her down. "And don't you dare call her that word."

Bellatrix cackled before saying. "She is not just a Mudblood! She is a Mudblood slut! She was with our Severus before moving on to you. Who do you think she'll fuck next?"

James had whipped out his wand and press it against her neck before she had finished the sentence. "Don't say another word or I will hang you where you stand."

Lily was still at her potions table, frozen and slightly shaking at the insult.

Sirius growled and started to walk over. Remus pulled him back. "What are you doing?"

Sirius answered. "Defending my friend. What are _you_ doing?"

Remus glared. "Trying to stop a fight! Violence gets us nowhere."

Remus hastily looked around for a distraction. His eyes landed on an empty glass flask before he knocked it over, causing to shatter when it hit the ground.

Professor Slughorn jolted awake just as Remus bent down clean up the glass.

"What was that?" Professor Slughorn asked.

Remus grabbed a slice of glass and pressed it into a finger, watching the blood drops start to bloom on his skin before standing up and saying, "I apologize, Professor, but I accidentally knocked over a flask and I seem to have cut my hand on the glass."

Professor Slughorn shook his head and said, "Well, you need to be more careful, my boy. Please escort yourself to the Hospital Wing."

Sirius jumped in, "I will go with him."

Professor Slughorn nodded absentmindedly before turning back to his potions textbook.

In the hallway, Remus asked. "Why did you come with me? Aren't you going to wait for Professor Slughorn to fall asleep again so you can retaliate?"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't like violence."

Remus nodded. "I don't, but I know that is what you would have done if you were still there."

"You think I would be okay in there while you are bleeding out of your hand? I worry about you, you know. Some things are more important than the Slytherins."

Remus blushed. "It is just my finger."

Sirius continued. "Well, why did it have to be your finger? Why did it have to be any body part at all? You didn't have to slice your skin open for the distraction to work. Professor Slughorn woke up just fine when the flask shattered."

Remus shook his head. "Yes, but I needed to give Prongs enough distraction time to walk across the room back to his seat."

Sirius eyebrows rose in astonishment. "Merlin, you think of everything."

Remus, blushing again, could only nod.

Back in the potions dungeon, Lily and James worked silently until Lily whispered, "Why did you defend me?"

James raised an eyebrow. "You wanted me to do nothing and watch her say those things about you?"

Lily shook her head. "No, and I thank you for defending me. But you haven't even known me for very long and -"

James stopped by asking, "Are you my friend, Lily Evans?"

Lily stopped in surprise but responded, "Yes."

James turned back to his work and answered, "You are my friend. I protect my friends."

Lily stared at him in surprise before smiling and going back to her work, saying, "Then I will do the same."

And so the students went back to work, their senses poised for another fight. And although the fire had been smothered, the spark remained.

* * *

"There is no such thing as the 'Half-Blood Prince!'"

Alice shot up from her seat and started pacing, rubbing her temples to soothe her throbbing headache.

She had spend two weeks scanning through several books, scrolls, and newspapers.

She had nearly torn her hairs out.

She didn't know why she wanted to find out who the Half-Blood Prince is. She knew should have just notified Professor Dumbledore and reported it as bullying. That was the smart thing to do. But what was the right thing to do?

Alice was a firm believer in fate. And fate worked in mysterious ways. What if she was destined to send letters to the Half-Blood Prince? And for what reason? What did fate want her to do now?

Alice opened her window to let the cool air rush in, soothing her burning forehead. She rested her head in her palms.

In the distance, a speck grew larger and larger. She squinted her eyes before squealing with joy. She could recognize that owl anywhere.

As it got closer, she stretched her arm out so that the owl could perch on it. It landed and she backed into her dorm, letting the owl rest on the foot of her bed.

She quickly shut the window and took the letter from the owl's beak.

It said:

 **My love,**

 **A thousand apologies for not writing to you sooner. I wanted to send you a letter right after you sent me one two weeks ago, but the Auror trainers keep my body occupied from morning to night. However, the only one that occupies my mind is you.**

 **I read your last letter about the so-called "Half-Blood Prince" and I don't like it, Alice. Anyone who discriminates another person for something as superficial as blood status isn't worth your time, love. But I know you. You are going to follow your heart and try to convert this person, aren't you? I love that about you. Just be careful, baby.**

 **Merlin, it's only been four weeks since I last saw you and left for training, but I miss you so much. I miss the summer when we would lay under the tree next to your house and cuddle. I miss reading books with you and eating with you and talking to you. I miss your lips, either when they are kissing mine or talking about your favorite things.**

 **Don't worry, love. I know you are probably crying right now because you miss me as much as I miss you. I wish I could wipe the tears away. I promise I will be there sooner than you think. The trainers say that the faster I train, the more breaks I can take and the more visits to you I can make. I will be there soon, baby. I love you.**

 **Yours forever,**

 **Frank**

Alice let out a laugh, tears trickling down her face. She wiped them quickly, not wanting them to smudge the ink of Frank's letter.

She continued to laugh as tears continued to trail down her cheeks. Oh, how she missed him.

She sat down at her desk again to write him a letter.

 **My darling,**

 **My heart aches to hear your voice and to see your face. These four weeks have been torturous. I just want to kiss you and run my hand through your hair. I want to play wizard chess with you like we did during the summer and lick the ice cream that gets on your nose when you get too close to your spoon and thread my fingers between yours.**

 **I am so proud of you, baby. You are doing so well in training and you are going to protect people and I will soon be at your side. And even though we don't yet know when you can visit me, I will count the minutes until then.**

 **And yes, love, I am going to send a letter to the Half-Blood Prince. There has to be a reason fate put me on this path. What if fate sees something good in this person and wants me to find it?**

 **I love you so much.**

 **Only yours,**

 **Alice**

Oh, how she loved her boyfriend. He confirmed what she already knew. She was going to follow her heart and send the Half-Blood Prince a letter.

* * *

There you go! Did you like it?

Either way, thank you so much for reading and remember that I update every Saturday*!

Note: For some, it will be earlier or later, due to the different time zones. Those in the time zones behind me will get it earlier while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be really unlucky and get it later. Therefore, I will try to upload as early as possible, because there are no posts on Sundays. ;)


	9. Ch 9: Preparations

**Hello! It has been a long and hard week, and I have missed you. I can't wait for you to read this chapter!**

 **Before you dive into the chapter, let us give thanks!**

 **Thank you to** **Procrastinator123** **and** **sergeant peace** **for following my story! It's so nice to have new readers!**

 **Thank you to** **sergeant peace** **for adding my story to your Favorites! I am so glad that you loved it enough to favorite it.**

 **Thank you to Shamelessnweird for reviewing again! I am so glad that you are on this journey with me.**

 **And thank you to Xenon Silver Sword, for adding my first story to my first ever community, The lovable but very lonely Werewolf!**

 **And here is the obligatory disclaimer: Only J. K. Rowling owns these characters and settings. I am just a passionate enthusiast!**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 9: Preparations

Morning, Saturday, October 1, 1977

"So why do you think that Headmaster Dumbledore wanted to see us today?" Lily asked.

James tapped his chin with a finger as he walked beside her. He grinned slyly as he answered, "Maybe he noticed how fantastic we are doing as Head Boy and Head Girl and wants to congratulate us by letting us throw a party at our place."

Lily laughed and poked his side. "No way, James Potter! I am not going to clean up the butterbeer bottles and candy wrappers that you and Sirius will leave behind."

James chuckled and put his hands up. "It could happen. Professor Dumbledore is always a surprise."

Lily rolled her eyes playfully and continued walking beside him.

She was truly indebted to Loyal Lion. She never knew how funny and kind James was until now. She thanked Loyal Lion all the time through the letters that they had been exchanging for the past month.

When they reached the entrance to the stairs leading to the Headmaster's office, the two students simultaneously said, "Sugar quill."

They then stood together on the stairs are they ascended.

Once outside the Headmaster's door, James walked up and knocked. Headmaster Dumbledore's voice answered, "Come in, Mister Potter and Miss Evans."

James held the door open for Lily and they entered.

Pillars of marble separated the opening floor and the alcove where Headmaster Dumbledore's desk sat. Glass cabinets of unknown wonders lined the walls and the entire room was lit with a warm, golden glow from the lanterns above. Fawkes, Headmaster Dumbledore's phoenix, stared intensely from his post at the two students who had walked through the door.

At the desk sat a gently smiling Headmaster, who greeted them. "Thank you for taking the time to join me today. Please, have a seat, Mister Potter and Miss Evans."

The two students settled into the chairs in front of Headmaster Dumbledore's desk before Lily asked, "So, Headmaster, what will we be discussing today?"

Professor Dumbledore answered, "That depends on whether you know what day it is."

James raised an eyebrow before saying, "Um...it's Saturday?"

Lily shook her head and countered, "It is October 1st, meaning that we have officially been in school for one full month."

Dumbledore smiled. "Correct, Miss Evans."

James shrugged. "Well, it is Saturday. I wasn't wrong."

Lily smiled and answered, "No, you just weren't precise."

James stuck his tongue out at her.

Headmaster Dumbledore chuckled at the exchange. "Now, now, children, behave. We still have much to discuss."

The two students returned their attention to their Headmaster.

He continued, "Today marks the 1 month anniversary of the AOL program, and from what I have been hearing from the students, the program is extremely successful. They are finding common ground with their peers, even though they haven't met them. I have yet to receive a negative comment."

James said, "That's good, sir, but what did you call us for?"

Lily kicked his foot to silence him and said, "He's getting there."

Headmaster Dumbledore continued. "To reward the students, I want you two to plan a celebratory ball."

"What?!" Lily exclaimed.

"Cool!" James replied. "Halloween is just around the corner, so it can be a costume party or masquerade ball, and I know this really cool rock band that can play for us, and -"

Lily interjected, "But, sir, isn't a project like this really time-consuming?"

Headmaster Dumbledore nodded and but said, "That is why you two need to work together."

James grinned, "Oh, come on, Lily, it'll be fun!"

Lily looked over at James. His whole face had lit up. His grin shone bright as his hazel eyes twinkled. He was almost bouncing out of his seat.

Lily's eyes softened as she smiled. "Okay."

James shot out his seat and shook Headmaster Dumbledore's hand. "Brilliant! Alright, sir, we'll deliver the party of the century!"

Lily smiled and shook Headmaster Dumbledore's hand, too.

Headmaster Dumbledore beamed. "I knew I picked the right students as Heads. Goodbye, now."

The two students waved as they began to exit the office.

As two descended the stairs, James could not stop suggesting ideas for the ball. "Giant pumpkins! Like really giant pumpkins! We should get those! And-"

Lily smirked. "Just what are you planning, James Potter?"

James grinned. "Can't tell you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well, you'll have to since were are working together." Lily sighed. "And there is so much to do. We have to make posters, create a menu for the kitchen, assemble a decorating crew, order the decorations, hire a band, and come up with some activities to hold at the ball. And we can't have it on Halloween night because Halloween is on a Monday this year."

They reached the bottom of the stairs.

James joked, "Don't worry, Lily, all those things can be managed. It just seems like a lot because we are the only two responsible if this should fail."

Lily glared at him. "Not helping."

James laughed. "You know that I am joking. We can do this. You are one of the brightest witches at this school. And I am the unofficial leader of the Marauders. Scheming is in my blood. With my scheming and your brilliance, everything will go just right."

Lily teased, "Planning is when you want everything to go right. Scheming is when you want everything to go wrong."

James rolled his eyes. "Haha, Lily, very funny."

He threw his arm over her shoulder as they continued down the hallway. "We can do this."

And although Lily smiled and nodded, anxiety twisted her gut.

* * *

Evening, Wednesday, October 5, 1977

News about the upcoming costume/masquerade ball spread quickly, sending all the students of Hogwarts into a frenzy to flood down to Hogsmeade to buy costumes and masks. Such enthusiasm from the student body caused excitement to grow between the Marauders, specifically James and Sirius.

James and Sirius sat in their respective beds in the Gryffindor dorms, suggesting ideas for a grand prank for the ball.

Remus sat in his bed, making a comment from time to time, but primarily focused on his potions homework. Peter sat in his own bed, listening intently to the prank ideas and writing them down.

Sirius tapped his chin and said, "Okay, Prongs, I like the giant pumpkins, but what are we going to do with them?"

James' nose scrunched in concentration. "How about we have them float around silently until they get close to someone and scare them?"

Peter wrote it down.

Sirius exclaimed, "But that's boring!" Sirius flopped back on the bed, arm over his eyes and Remus tried to look away from the sliver of skin that Sirius revealed as his shirt slid up.

Peter drew a line through James' idea.

James rolled his eyes. "Then what's your idea?"

Sirius lay in silence for a moment before shooting up in the bed. "Explosions!"

James grinned, nodding enthusiastically.

Peter grinned, too, scribbled down the idea excitedly.

But Remus shook his head. "It's too dangerous."

Peter scratched out the idea, shaking his head glumly.

Sirius replied, "Wait, Wormtail, don't scratch it out yet. Moony, why it is too dangerous? We've done explosions before."

Remus nodded, "Yes, but always in open spaces. The courtyard, the Quidditch pitch after a game, etc. We can't do it in the Great Hall, especially during a dance with hundreds of students packed into the room. It's a potential fire hazard."

Sirius groaned. "Fine, we'll just have less fire and more noise. And we can have them float closer to the ceiling."

Peter began to rewrite it again.

Remus shook his head. "The explosions can still shatter the windows."

Peter scratched it out again.

"Moony-"

A clicking sound came at James' window and Lily's personal owl, Ruby, flew in with a letter for James.

James untied the letter, read it.

He then looked up and said, "As much as I would like to see you two argue, Lily needs me to help with the ball plans. Walk me down, Wormtail."

When the two left, Remus closed his book and looked at Sirius. "What is this really about?"

Sirius shrugged. "I just want to have fun."

Remus gave him a pointed stare.

Sirius sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you." He scratched the back of his head before saying, "I was going to tell the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs to leave the room before the pumpkins explode."

Remus jumped out of his bed, his eyes wide. "What?!"

Sirius raised his hands up in front of his face in defense. "It's not going to hurt them! Probably just spook them a little."

Remus exclaimed, "Did you not hear me tell you about the fire and glass hazards?"

Sirius shot up to his feet, fists clenched. "Did you not hear about the murders?"

Remus stepped back. "What?"

Sirius turned away from Remus. "The Daily Prophet says that the Death Eaters have started public executions. They've taken over entire neighborhoods, going door-to-door, dragging out men, women, and children. They gather all the muggleborns, half-bloods, and the special ones, like werewolves and squibs, into a group and start blasting them to hell."

Sirius turned back to Remus. "They are done waiting to 'cleanse' the magical race. And I am done waiting to fight back."

Remus shook his head. "But hate doesn't conquer hate. There's another way to do this. I understand you wanting justice, but if you fight them only out of spite...you become the exact person that they want you to be."

Sirius turned away.

"If you are only fighting them because you are bitter, then you break the promise that you made to me two years ago."

Sirius' fists clenched.

Remus shook his head before turning and leaving the room.

* * *

When James entered the Head's common room, a book came flying at him from the side. He ducked, thanking his Quidditch reflexes.

"Lily?" James called out, still ducked. "What's going on?"

When James looked up, he saw that Lily stood in the center of room surrounded by a tornado of books. She stood there trying to read 5 books at once before sending them out into the winds and summoning 5 more. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. Dark bags sat under her eyes and her hair looked uncombed. Even at her worst, she looked beautiful.

"I have to research the best bands in history so we can hire them to play at the ball! And I still haven't made the recipes for the food, so I have to look through these cookbooks!" Lily shouted.

"Isn't this a bit much?" James yelled over the storm of pages.

Lily looked up from the two books she was reading. "James, there is too much to do to ask questions! Grab a book and start reading!"

Lily turned back to her book.

James sighed and took out his wand, waving it.

The books froze in the air before falling to the ground.

Lily whirls and glares, her eyes flaring. "James!"

James pocketed his wand and grabbed her wrist, leading her to the stairs. "This is too much for you. I am going to tell Headmaster Dumbledore that we can't have a ball."

"No!" Lily shouted, pulling her wrist out of James' hand. "I can do it! I just have to get organized." Lily looked around sheepishly at the books that scattered on the floor.

James's eyebrows creased. "Are you sure?"

Lily nodded.

James sighed. "Fine, but you are going to need some help from me and the prefects."

"I do not!"

James rolled his eyes. "When was the last time you ate? Slept? Do you even know that we have a Transfiguration exam coming up soon?"

"Of course I know!" Lily exclaimed, but her eyebrows rose in surprise.

James took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Lily, just take the help."

Lily turned away. "No, I can handle it."

James put his glasses back on and was about to argue back when he smirked deviously. "Lily, you are roommates with a Marauder. Don't make me put worms in your bed to change your mind."

Lily turned back and cringed. "Eww! Okay, fine!" Lily sighed. "I hate you."

James grinned. "No, you don't."

Lily smiled. "I don't."

James replied, "Good." He then grabbed her around her middle and put her on his shoulder, before running up the stairs.

Lily laughed. "James!"

James laughed. "You need to sleep!"

He pulled open the door to her bedroom and ran in. He threw her on the bed before running out the door.

He turned back and shouted, "Goodnight, sleep tight, and don't let me put in worms that bite!"

"Don't you dare!" Lily shrieked in her laughter.

James wiggled his eyebrows challengingly before shutting the door to let her sleep.

* * *

Evening, Saturday, October 8, 1977

Sirius with his arms crossed, glaring at the canopy of his bed. It had been several days since he fought with Remus, and he was still not talking to him. They avoided each other. Currently, while Sirius lay in his bed, Remus was studying with Lily in the Head's dormitory. The distance was driving him mad.

He tried to talk to James and Peter about it and they just teased him and told him that Remus would get over it. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to talk to someone about this.

He pulled out some parchment and a quill.

* * *

Remus knew Lily was looking at him questioningly from across the table as they studied in the Head's common room.

"What?" He asked, irritated.

Lily shrugged and said, "I was just wondering why we are studying here instead of the library."

Remus sighed. "I don't want to run into Sirius on accident at the library."

Lily joked, "Why would he go to the library? Does he even study?"

Remus' fists slammed down on the wooden table as he glared at her. "Of course he studies! Stop judging him when you don't even know him!"

Lily flinched.

Remus' flinched as well. "I-I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to…"His voice trailed off weakly as he covered his eyes with his hands.

He made a noise of surprise when he found out Lily's arms wrapped around his head. She had stood up from her seat to hug him.

She patted his head and said, "No, I am sorry. That wasn't a nice joke."

Remus took his hands off his eyes and wrapped his arms around Lily's middle. "No, I was too harsh."

Lily shook her head. "Your distance from Sirius is hurting you."

They were interrupted by a clicking noise at the window.

Lily walked over and opened it. It flew over to Remus and landed on the table in front of him.

Lily asked, "Is that yours?"

Remus checked the tag and saw the number 52. He nodded.

Lily smiled and said, "I'll let you read it."

She settled into an armchair and opened up a book.

Remus pet Frederick before untying the letter and reading it.

It read:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **I am having problems with my best mate. We got into a fight a few days ago and now he is not talking to me. We were fighting about the Slytherins. What do you think I should do?**_

 _ **I am asking you because in the month that we have been sending letters, you seem to be a really smart and nice guy. Can you please help me?**_

 _ **Regards,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

Remus shook his head in sympathy. He wanted to help Black Knight, but he didn't know the context of the fight or the intensity of the friendship. But he knew that he wanted to help him somehow.

* * *

Sirius was finalizing the prank idea for the ball when a familiar clicking noise at his window got his attention.

He plucked the letter as Frederick flew in.

He untied it and it read:

 _ **Dear Black Knight,**_

 _ **Normally, I would say that you should apologize to your friend for judging the Slytherins. But I have no idea who your friend is and how strong your friendship is.**_

 _ **The solution that I have is simple. You promised me that you would tell me about your dark past. I propose that we meet in person at the ball. We should wear masks so that we don't find out about our identities. There, if you tell me about your past, I can give you advice on how to reconcile with your friend. I will be in a Beowulf costume and mask.**_

 _ **Kind regards,**_

 _ **Kind Beowulf**_

Sirius scratched his head as he thought. On one hand, he truly needed Kind Beowulf's advice. On the other hand, even though he was planning on telling Kind Beowulf about his past, he wasn't planning on doing it so soon.

Was Kind Beowulf trustworthy enough to hear about his past without judging him for it or using it against him?

The moment he asked that question was when he laughed aloud. Kind Beowulf had been nothing but kind the whole time that they sent letters to each other. And he was going to tell him anyways. What better time and place than the night of the biggest party of the school year?

Sirius smiled as he wrote his acceptance.

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **And I'll will be wearing a knight costume.**_

 _ **Regards,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Remember that my upload schedule is on my profile and that I upload every Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some, it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	10. Ch 10: Anxiety Kicks In

**Hello! Hopefully you all are not as tired as me right now. Four essays and I am still standing.**

 **Anyways, I want to tell you all that even though my coursework and my job have been on my tail, I am glad that you all are still here, reading my story. I make time to write this, so I am glad you all make time to read this.**

 **So let me thank you.**

 **Thank you to Marie . claire267 and Whydoievenexist for following my story! I can't wait for you to see what happens.**

 **Thank you to Whydoievenexist for adding my story to your favorite! I am so happy that you loved it so much!**

 **And as for reviews, I am going to just make a section where I copy and paste the reviews and then reply to them. I know that you might have forgotten what you said and then would have to go back and read it to understand my reply, so I don't mind doing this instead.**

 **Reviews!**

 ** _Shamelessnweird_ _:_ _woahhhhhhhh best mate hmm... sirus wanted to write something but enjoyed it. .the jily part as well as wolfstar part... hope they soon clear their fight_**

 **My response: Thank you much for the positive feedback! As for Wolfstar, you'll just have to wait and see. ;)**

 ** _Guest: SCREAMSSSSS IAM SO INTOTHIS STORYOMGOMGOMGOMG_**

 **My response: *screams* I am so into you being into my story! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! :D**

 **And here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns everything, including my feelings. *cries remembering that Halloween was also Jily Death Day***

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 10: Anxiety Kicks In

Morning, Tuesday, October 11, 1977

It had not even been a week since James had reprimanded Lily for not getting enough sleep, and she still hadn't gotten enough sleep. She scolded herself as she ran through the empty halls, for she was late and class had already started for everyone.

Her frustration and despair grew as she remembered all her failures while preparing the ball. The recipes that she had chosen were not successful because the house elves did not know how to make half of the foods. Almost all the bands she contacted rejected the invitation to play at the ball. The decorations still have not arrived. She wanted to cry.

She also had to skip breakfast to salvage an hour of sleep, because she had stayed up all night studying for today's Transfiguration exam.

She burst into the classroom and flushed red as all heads turned to hers.

Professor McGonagall looked up from her book. "Miss Evans, please do not disrupt the class with your tardiness. Have a seat, and be on time next time."

Lily nodded, her eyes downcast. She took the exam that Professor McGonagall gave her and she sat down next to James.

When Professor McGonagall looked away, she turned to glare at James and whispered, "Why didn't you wake me up?"

James whispered back, "When I came to check on you, you were knocked out cold. You needed rest, so I let you sleep."

Lily's eyes flashed as she whispered, "That was not your decision to make!"

Professor McGonagall looked up. "No whispering during the exam!"

The two students turned back to their exam sheets.

Lily looked at the first question and the words started to blur.

 _Get it together,_ a voice in Lily's head said, _unless you want everyone to know how stupid you are._

Lily's hands shook as she answered the first question.

 _Are you sure that's the right answer?_

She crossed the answer and out and chose a different answer.

 _That is going to end up be the wrong answer and you know it. You are going to fail._

Lily froze as she remembered her nightmare, the "T" on her N.E.W.T.s.

Suddenly, she felt a warm hand over hers. She turned to see James give her a soft smile and mouth, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and smiled weakly.

He gave her hand a final pat before going back to his exam.

She turned back to her exam and her stomach sunk. She had 24 more questions left to answer.

She tried to finish them quickly, somehow managing to finish just as James did. He stood up first and she followed him.

Suddenly, she grew very dizzy. The world swayed as she walked to Professor McGonagall's desk behind James. Her hands could not stop shaking.

James placed his exam on Professor McGonagall's desk and turned around to see Lily, shaking, swaying, and pale. "Lily?"

Professor McGonagall looked up at her and frowned with concern. "Miss Evans, are you unwell? If so, you can take the exam another time."

Her vision started to flash between James' face, Professor McGonagall's stare, and the "T" on her N.E.W.T.s. She whimpered, "I promise...I can do...better…"

Her knees buckled, and she waited for the hard thud of the floor that never came.

* * *

All Lily could feel was the pounding in her forehead. Her stomach growled viciously and she curled further into her fetal position.

"Lily…" said someone, stroking her hair. "It's okay. You're okay."

Lily slowly opened her eyes. She squinted as the bright light nearly shoved her back into her cocoon of darkness.

Lily's eyes focuses as she recognized the blonde girl sitting on her bed. "Alice?"

She smiled and nodded.

"Here is some tea, Lily," said another voice. She looked in the corner to see Marlene pouring her a cup of tea on a tray. She walked over and set it on Lily's nightstand. Lily sat up and picked up the teacup and saucer, blowing the tea before she drank it. She closed her eyes as she drank. She stopped and looked at them.

"What time is it?" asked Lily.

Alice answered, "It's lunch hour, but that isn't important right now."

Marlene frowned, nodding, and said, "You had us so worried, Lily. One minute Alice and I were sitting in Potions, the next we hear that you've fainted!"

Alice nodded, "The nurse said that your stress hormone levels were abnormally high, and you are also very dehydrated and malnourished. Why didn't you tell us you weren't sleeping or eating?"

Lily looked down at her lap. "I didn't know it was a problem. I am fine, really. You two don't have to take care of me."

"No, Lily," said a voice at the door. Lily looked up to see Remus coming in carrying a stack of books for Lily to read. "You don't have enough nutrients to keep you going. The nurse says that you will be put on bedrest for a week to get your strength back."

"What?!" cried Lily. "But I have assignments, Head Girl duties, and the ball preparations to attend to! I don't have time for sleep!"

Remus shook his head as he set the books down on Lily's bed. "You need to make time for sleep, Lily, and for eating, and for yourself."

Alice smiled and said, "Also, don't worry. All of your professors know, so you won't be assigned homework for the entire week."

Marlene smiled and nodded.

"But-"Lily started.

"No," said her three friends.

Lily deflated, but then sat up straight again. "Where's James?"

The three friends looked at each other uncertainly, not wanting to meet Lily's eyes.

Remus finally answered, "He doesn't want to see you."

Lily's face fell. "Why?"

Alice put a hand over Lily's. "We think he's angry."

Marlene scoffed, "Actually, we know he's angry."

"Why?" Lily asked.

Marlene shook her head, glaring at the ground. "He's just pissed that you didn't say anything, which isn't your fault. In fact, I think he is the one who should be sorry. Shutting himself in his room and not visiting you even though you fainted? How rude."

"Wait a second," Remus said, defending one of his best mates, "James has a right to be angry. To him, Lily basically lied about her welfare."

Lily said quietly, "But I didn't mean to lie."

"I know you didn't mean to lie to us, Lily" Remus said, "But it feels that way."

Alice look at the clock on Lily's nightstand. "Lunch is over and we have to go to class. We will see you later, okay?"

Lily nodded, letting them tuck her in before they left her to her loneliness.

* * *

That evening, Lily heard him come in. She lay in bed as she heard him throw his broomstick in the broom cupboard, shaking the walls, and head for the stairs.

She trembled as she got out of bed, determined to see him before he locked the door to his room.

She wobbled as she crossed the room, the world still dizzying.

She opened her door and saw his back as he head for his bedroom.

She shouted, "Wait!"

He froze.

Lily held onto the door frame for support. "Look at me and tell me why you are so angry."

He turned and she nearly flinched at his stony eyes.

He glared at her as he said, "You want to know why I am so angry? You fucking fainted, Lily! No one just faints when they are perfectly healthy! You've been starving yourself like a damn house elf in the Malfoy family!"

Lily flinched.

James continued, eyes flashing, "I had to catch you before you cracked your head open on McGonagall's classroom floor!"

Lily tried to walk to him. "I-I-I'm sorry you had to do that-"

She crumbled before she could take two steps. In an instant, his arms wrapped around her before she fell. He silently picked her up and carried her back into her room and laid her on the bed.

He turned away and started pacing.

She sat up. "James?"

James rubbed his temples before saying, "I am sorry. I didn't mean that I didn't want to catch you. I meant that you were so dead on your feet that I had to catch you."

Lily nodded and replied. "I know. I'm sorry for worrying you. But I am sure I just missed a meal or-"

James sighed and sat next to her on the bed. "You don't get it, Lily."

He turned to her fully. "You are so important. Everyone needs you to be okay. The prefects need you. Alice and Marlene need you. Remus needs you. I-" He paused, contemplating if he should continue.

But then he gripped her shoulders and said, "I need you."

Lily's mouth fell open. "James,"

His face was set with determination, his eyebrows angled downward and his eyes blazing into hers. His mouth was set into a hard line, so different from the playful grins he gave her every day.

Tentatively, she put her hand on his cheek.

His face fell from determination into surprise. "Lily?"

She watched his lips form her name. She wanted to kiss him.

They began to lean toward each other.

 _You'll never be good enough for him,_ said a voice in her head.

She paused, putting a hand against his chest.

He tried to scan her face, but she turned away, saying, "I think I would like to rest now."

James was silent for a moment before smiling sadly. "Get some sleep now. I'll take care of everything. Don't you worry."

He pulled the covers over her as her eyes fluttered shut, sending her floating into her troubled dreams.

* * *

Lily jerked awake.

She had the same nightmare again.

She sat up in the bed, tears starting to trail down her cheeks.

She didn't know what to do. How could she sleep when her insecurities invaded her in her dreams?

She placed her feet on the floor and managed to stand up. She walked over to her desk, hoping to find a book to distract her into sleep.

As she sifted through the drawers, her fingers touched parchment. She pulled it out the last few letters that Loyal Lion had sent to her, marked from just a few days ago:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **My mates are in the middle of an argument, and it's both hilarious and troubling. On one hand, one is super dramatic while the other just proves him wrong with logic every time. It's entertaining. But this is the longest that they've been angry with each other. And this is the biggest argument that they have had yet. What do you think I should do?**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

And she remembered replying with:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **I completely understand. My roommate (you know, the one that I am now friends with) has two friends that are fighting right now, and they are the exact same way, with one being over-the-top and the other being pretty level-headed. But my best advice is to let them sort it out. You don't want to meddle and possibly mess things up. If it gets too intense, you can maybe talk to one or both of them separately and try to guide them in the right direction, but see if they make it there themselves first.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

His response was truly endearing:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **Thanks. I didn't even think of that. You know, doing nothing. I guess it's just the Gryffindor in me that wants to start doing without thinking.**_

 _ **You know, you've helped me a lot. You trusted me, even though you don't know me, and you have a lot of great advice.**_

 _ **Whenever you want to tell me about that secret of yours, I'll be waiting for the letter. Any hour of any day.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

She remembered her nightmare. Maybe now was the right time to tell him.

* * *

James woke up to a clicking noise at his window.

An owl's glowing eyes stared at him, a letter tucked within her beak.

He rubbed the sleep out of and put his glasses on. He rolled out of bed and opened the window.

It flew in, leaving the letter at his nightstand.

James scratched his head. Could it be from Lily or Emerald Flower? Somehow, they must have bought their string from the same shop.

 _Oh, wait, it's Emerald Flower,_ he thought, _If Lily had sent me a letter, she would have sent Ruby. Matilda sent this letter._

He pet Matilda, who rested on his nightstand.

He untied the letter and it read:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **I think I am ready to tell you my secret.**_

 _ **I...I have anxiety.**_

 _ **I get sucked into my own thoughts whenever I take a test or go on patrol. Whenever I am faced with a challenge, I put on a brave face and power through it, but on the inside I am screaming because the pressure can be too much sometimes. There are even times when I am so terrified of failure that I am frozen with fear. I can't do anything other than think that I am going to fail. I am so scared, and I can't tell anyone because I don't want anyone to know that I am a failure.**_

 _ **I don't really know how to cope with it. I have been getting nightmares about me failing for a while now, and I don't want to give up and lose the fight, but I don't know how to make them go away.**_

 _ **That's my secret.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James ran a hand through his hair. He had never heard of anything like it. So afraid of failing that you do nothing? It was so different than what James was used to doing, which was jumping into action without thinking about it, even if it was dumb and reckless.

James shook his head. He couldn't imagine how crippling it must feel. How powerless.

But he could. He remembered feeling powerless as his father yelled at him for his immaturity and untrustworthiness.

But Emerald Flower helped him with that.

Now it was his turn.

* * *

Lily didn't realize that she had fallen asleep at her desk until she woke up to Matilda poking her arm with Loyal's Lion's response letter.

She pet Matilda as she took the letter from her beak.

When she untied it, it read:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **Let me tell you a story.**_

 _ **Once upon a time, there was a boy who was too afraid to get on a broomstick. He saw how high his father flew and wanted to be just like his father, but every time he got on a broomstick, he jumped right off, because he was scared of falling.**_

 _ **One day, a muggle lady was crying hysterically. The boy walked over and asked why she was crying. She said that her cat was stuck in a tree and she had spent hours trying to retrieve it, but could not. When he saw the cat in the tree and the crying lady, he knew he had to try something. So he sent the lady home, saying that he would get help to get the cat out of the tree.**_

 _ **Then he grabbed his broomstick and prepared to fly it. He hesitated. He wondered if maybe he should ask for help or ask someone else to do it. But then he saw the cat start to slip. So he jumped onto the broomstick and flew it without even thinking, as if he was meant to fly. He sped for the tree and saw the cat slip off the branch. Miraculously, the boy caught it.**_

 _ **The boy continued flying until he reached the muggle lady's house. He got off his broom and knocked on her door. He handed her the cat and she thanked him passionately, sending him home with several muggle treats.**_

 _ **Today, the boy is one of the best Quidditch players at Hogwarts. Now imagine if he been too afraid to fall?**_

 _ **Flower, what you have sounds really serious. Maybe we should talk in person. You've heard about the ball, right? Let's meet there, in costume. I will be the one in red and gold.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

Lily smiled and wiped her tears away. Her breathing settled, and her nightmare felt far away.

She kissed the letter, thanking it before closing it. She pulled out a new piece of parchment and wrote her reply.

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **And I'll be the one in emerald.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

* * *

 **It put so many hours into this chapter. I even took my computer to my job at the library in order to squeeze in more sentences during my 15 minute breaks. In fact, this chapter was supposed to be Chapter 9 and 10 combined, and Chapter 11 (which I am writing now) was supposed to be this week's Chapter 10, but I felt like the plots from the current Chapter 9 and 10 would have been to overly complicated together, so I split them apart.**

 **Plus, it ended up being 20 pages, which was way too much for one chapter. That is why Chapter 9 and 10 might seem a little short, even though they were 10 pages each. They were written to go together, but I had to separate them because they became too big.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! Remember that I upload every Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some, it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	11. Ch 11: The Ball

**Hello! How are you all? I am well, thank you for asking. I am really excited for this chapter!**

 **Boy oh boy are you in for a treat! I apologize for the long wait. I was adding the finishing touches. The long awaited Ball chapter has arrived, and I have made it extra special! In honor of the milestone of my first 10 chapters being uploaded and receiving such positive reviews, I made this one extra long!**

 **As always, I would like to thank you my newest reviewers, followers, and favorites!**

 **Thank you to** **Fea just me** **,** **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged** **, and** **reutiGutman** **for following my story! Welcome to the family!**

 **Thank you to** **Fea just me** **and** **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged** **for adding my story to my favorites! I am so glad you love my story so much!**

 **And thank you to my reviewers:**

 ***Reviews!***

 **Shamelessnweird** **:** _ **even if u r chapters are 1as long as a 12 hr movie...m damn ready to read it! it's awesome hope they have their first kiss soon...n lily dear take care of yourself**_

 **My response: Thank you so much for the compliment! I am sure you are going to excited with this chapter!**

 **Fire and Ice** **:** _ **hiiiii I'm back! sorry I've been busy with exams anyway can't wait for the ball chapter!**_

 **My response: Hi! Thank you for coming back! Just in time for the ball chapter!**

 **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged** **:** _ **This is so good! Please continue!**_

 **My response: Oh my gosh! Thank you! I am so excited for you to read more!**

 ***Thank you for reviewing!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns the characters and the setting. And my feelings. And my entire existence. You get the idea.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 11: The Ball

Evening, Saturday, 22, 1977

Lily stared into her bathroom mirror through her mask.

Alice and Marlene squealed at Lily's costume.

"Lily you look amazing!" Alice exclaimed. Marlene nodded and said, "You are going to have so many blokes gawking at you all night long."

Lily looked down at her costume. "You think so?"

They nodded excitedly.

Lily looked at herself in the mirror. She had chosen an off-the shoulder ball gown layered in green leaves and white lily petals. Scattered across the off-the-shoulder sleeves were tiny lilies and green sparkles. Her mask was white with an emerald rhinestone and petaled lining, complete with a green ribbon tied around her head. She had put her hair up in an elegant bun, garnished with a small lily.

Lily smiled sheepishly. "Thank you. You two look amazing, as well."

Alice had chosen to dress up like a Greek goddess, and when Lily and Marlene asked why, she blushed and said, "I wasn't sure what to wear, so I wrote to Frank. He told me that I look like a goddess, and he wanted me to dress up as one to remember him by." Both Lily and Marlene had replied, "Aww!"

As for Marlene, she opted for a black cat outfit. And when Alice and Lily asked why, she grinned slyly and said, "Benjy says that I am his sexy kitty." Alice and Lily responded with fake disgust faces before dissolving into laughter.

Lily looked her friends' suits again and grinned, saying, "Your boyfriends have very different ideas of romance."

Both Alice and Marlene smiled and replied, "We know."

The three of them looked into the mirror one final time before Marlene said, "Okay girls, let's show Hogwarts what beautiful looks like!"

Both Lily and Alice cheered as the three exited Lily's room.

When they had reached the Head's common room, they heard a knock at the dormitory entrance.

Both Alice and Marlene looked confused, but Lily perked up, knowing who it was.

She ran up to the door and opened it up excitedly.

Marlene's jaw dropped while Alice shrieked before jumping into the arms of Frank Longbottom.

"You're here!" Alice cried, tears beginning to line her eyes.

"For you, I'd go anywhere," he replied, holding her face in his hands, pulling her to him, and kissing her passionately.

While they kissed, Marlene pulled Lily aside and whispered, "Did you know about this?"

Lily beamed.

Marlene glared. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Lily rolled her eyes and teased. "You are terrible with secrets."

Marlene pondered over it and then shrugged. "Fair point."

Alice and Frank finally separated. Alice held his face in her hands. "How is this possible?"

Frank grinned. "It was all thanks to Lily. She negotiated with Headmaster Dumbledore and my head Auror to let me take a break for a few days to come to Hogwarts to see you. Since I was doing well in training and Headmaster Dumbledore trusts Lily and I, everything worked out."

Alice looked to Lily. "Thank you, Lily."

Lily smiled. "I couldn't let you spend the night alone."

Marlene fake gagged at the couple. "Lily, you are going to regret that decision because they are going to be all over each all night long."

Alice blushed and Frank rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Marlene continued, "Also, nice costume, by the way."

Alice looked down at his costume. "Oh!"

Frank had come in a Greek god costume to match Alice's Greek goddess costume.

Alice blushed even more as she noticed that he was shirtless, and those long months of training had shown itself on his chest and abdomen.

Marlene cleared her throat. "Okay, let's go before Alice stays here all night looking at Frank's chest."

They all agreed but then Lily remembered something. "We can't just go without James! Let me get him to come with us."

She ran up the stairs again and knocked on his door. "James?"

"Yes?" said James from inside.

"We're going to the ball now! Are you ready?"

She heard some shuffling noises and the sound clothes being put on him as he said, "Actually, I am meeting someone there."

Confusion overtook her features. "Who?"

"The girl that I have been sending my AOL letters to."

Lily's shoulders sagged. "Oh."

She paused for a second and then said, "Okay, I hope you enjoy your evening."

James shouted from within. "You, too!"

Lily walked back down the stairs.

"So is he coming?"

Lily looked up to answer Marlene's question. "No, he is going with someone else."

The other three shrugged, more excited about the ball than James' possible date, so they excitedly rushed out the door to go to the ball, while Lily trailed behind them, wondering who James' AOL partner was.

* * *

Remus lingered outside the Great Hall, watching through his mask the excited students flooding through the doors. He fidgeted in his Beowulf costume. He wore a dark blue cape, a black leather chest plate, fur pants, and brown leather sandals.

He was nervous. He was going to meet is AOL partner for the first time, and now he wondered if it was the right decision.

He was pulled from his thoughts temporarily when he kindly greeted familiar faces that passed by before returning to his thoughts.

Remus sighed. It had been several weeks since he last talked to Sirius. He felt so alone.

So when Black Knight sent him that letter, he couldn't help but invite him to the ball so he wasn't lonely. It was partially because he and Black Knight were dealing with the same problem. But it was also because he reminded Remus so much of Sirius.

He felt guilty now. Why did he invite Black Knight to the dance when he was just going to pretend he was Sirius?

 _I don't want to use people,_ Remus thought, _I should just not show up. He would find a much better person to spend the evening with who won't use him._

He started to walk to the stairs away from the ball.

"Kind Beowulf?"

Remus turned around and saw a person in a black knight costume.

Remus froze. "Black Knight?"

The person nodded. Remus couldn't see his face because it was covered by a helmet. In fact, Black Knight's entire body was covered in black metal, with gauntlets for hands and a breastplate on his chest.

Remus didn't know what he looked like at all under all that armor. But he shared Sirius' height and physique, causing Remus to blush.

Black Knight walked closer and said softly, "I didn't scare you away with my letters, did I?"

Remus' eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he realized that Black Knight had seen him walking away. "Oh, no, not at all! I just...didn't want to give you the wrong idea."

Black Knight tilted his head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Remus looked around before gesturing for Black Knight to follow him. They moved farther from the door to prevent the other students from hearing them.

Remus turned to Black Knight. "I will admit that for the past few weeks, I have been in an argument with my friend as well, so I invited you to the ball with me to meet you in person and give you the advice that you asked for, but also because I knew you understood my plight and I wanted company tonight. I am sorry. I didn't mean to use you." Remus looked down at his feet.

But Black Knight threw his head back and laughed, saying, "I didn't see it as you using me. I am kind of alone too, tonight, so I am glad you invited me."

He paused to scratched the back of his head. "You're kind of cute when you ramble like that."

Remus flushed. "Really?"

Black Knight nodded. "Yeah."

Remus looked down at the floor, trying to hide his smile. "Thank you."

Black Knight was glad that he wore the helmet, which hid his dopey grin. "You're welcome."

There was a brief silence before Black Knight extended his hand and asked, "Want to head in?"

Remus looked into the ballroom, the flashing lights and crowds of costumes.

He looked back at Black Knight's extended hand and took it.

* * *

Lily swirled the liquid in her glass as she watched her friends dance with their respective lovers. She smiled to herself as she observed their different dancing styles.

Alice had her arms around Frank's neck and his were around her waist. She laid her head on his chest as they danced. Marlene, on the other hand, had her back to Benjy, her arms over his on her waist, and her hips swaying against his front. He would occasionally whisper into her ear or kiss her exposed neck or nibble on her ear lobe.

Lily sighed. She was happy for her friends, truly.

But large social gatherings usually made her very uncomfortable and, in the past, she had always stuck with Alice and Marlene for the entirety of the night. Now, she simply did not know how to occupy herself while she scanned the room for Loyal Lion.

Lily looked through the crowd, looking for red and gold. Nothing yet.

She sighed again and sipped her drink. Once she had finished it, she looked to the drinks table to see if there was anymore. What she found was that the pumpkin juice bowl was empty.

 _Why hasn't it been refilled?_ She thought, her mind slipping into a silent panic. _What if people want pumpkin juice? There will certainly be an uproar if they don't have their pumpkin juice. And then James and I will be blamed for the ball not having enough pumpkin juice._

She put her glass down and stood up, determined to go down to the kitchens and help the house elves bring back more pumpkin juice.

A finger tapping on her shoulder pulled her out of her thoughts.

She whirled and stared into hazel eyes.

"Emerald Flower?" asked the boy.

She looked him up and down. He was wearing a lion mask with a red button up collared shirt that had gold details on it, from the buttons to the inside of his cuffs, which were rolled up for her to see the tan skin of his wrists. His dress pants were black, leading down to shiny black boots with golden buckles. His hair looked messy, as if he had been running through it all night long.

She nodded. "And you're Loyal Lion?"

He nodded, smiling. "Yes." He stretched his hand out to her.

She shook it, noticing it roughness. Coarse, like James', from playing Quidditch, but no less warm and comforting, like how it felt against her arm. She shook the memory of James in her bedroom away.

"Are you okay?"

His voice shook her out of her thoughts."What?"

He asked her again, "Are you okay? You look a little distracted."

Lily blushed. She couldn't tell him she was thinking about James. She tried to remember what she was thinking about before. "Sorry. I...um...was just thinking about…"

Her eyes drifted over to someone drinking pumpkin juice. _Oh, I remember,_ she thought, _The pumpkin juice bowl!_

"...about how the pumpkin juice bowl needed to be refilled. I was going to go down to the kitchens to help the house elves bring back more." she said, wringing her hands nervously.

He scratched his head in confusion. "So, there is a party going on up here, but you want to go downstairs and refill the pumpkin juice?"

Lily ran those words through her mind again and realized how silly they sounded. Her cheeks flamed. "Um...yes?"

He cocked an eyebrow but smiled comfortingly. "Don't be embarrassed. You told me about this in your letter. It's okay to worry sometimes, but not too much."

She looked down at the ground, still embarrassed.

Loyal Lion broke the silence. "Hey, why don't we dance? It'll calm you down." He extended his hand.

Lily looked up at him through her lashes. Tentatively, she took his hand.

He gently pulled her to the dancefloor. She froze. "Wait! I...I don't know how to do this."

He smiled. "It's okay. I've been taking dance lessons my whole life. I'll lead."

She looked out at the dancefloor and then back at him. He lightly tugged at their enjoined hands. "Trust me."

She remembered him telling her that in their letters. She gave him a small smile and softly answered, "Okay."

He guided one of her hands to sit on his shoulder while he held the other. His other hand settled on her waist as they began to dance.

"So...what do you think about the decorations?" Loyal Lion asked, trying for casual conversation.

Lily looked around. She remembered finally getting out of bedrest and rushing with the prefects to put up the decorations. She remembered helping them put up the green, purple, and orange banners that said "Welcome to the AOL Ball!" She remembered instructing the prefects to put jack-o-lanterns on the actual lanterns and to charm the candles in ceiling to glow orange and purple and green. She remembered even adding some frightening props, such as cobwebs and fake blood trailing down the walls or the skeleton sitting in a chair in one corner of the room. James even suggested adding giant pumpkins and having them float close to the ceiling, and even though she didn't know exactly why he wanted them there at all, they looked festive.

But all she could do was grimace. All she could focus on were the flaws of the decorations, such as a banner beginning to slip off a wall or a pumpkin falling out of its lantern.

She shook her head. With the budget of the ball being so low and not having enough time to consider many decoration options, she felt as if the sub-par nature of the ball decorations were her fault.

"The decorations could have been better," she replied, sighing.

Loyal Lion looked around the room in confusion and before turning back to her, saying, "I think the decorations look amazing."

She started. "Really?"

He nodded and beamed. "Yeah, especially the skeleton in the corner. I've seen some people walk by it and get scared. It's great. Whoever decorated this room has a real eye for style."

Lily answered,"Tha-" She stopped herself. If she said thank you, he would know who that she had decorated the ballroom, leading him to know that she was Head Girl.

Loyal Lion looked at her. "Did you say something?"

Lily smiled and said, "Tha- I mean, that's great that you like the decorations."

He smiled before twirling her.

She shrieked. "Woah!"

He twirled her back into him. "Why don't we take a little time to forget about all the bad stuff? We're are a party. We might as well have fun." He grinned deviously.

She gave him a small smile back. "Okay."

* * *

Alice sighed as she swayed with Frank on the dance floor, holding him tightly.

Frank stroked her back comfortingly. "Did you like my surprise?"

She stepped back to look at his face and smiled. "Yes, I am so happy that you are here with me." She cupped his cheek and he turned his head to kiss her palm.

He jerked his head to the side. "Let's get some pumpkin juice."

She nodded and they left the dance floor, migrating towards the tables of drinks, candies, and pastries. Alice poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice while Frank tried to balance a glass of pumpkin juice in one hand and three chocolate frogs in the other.

"Careful!" she giggled, "There's plenty of food for everyone."

Frank grinned. "Sorry. Ever since I started training, my appetite has gotten bigger."

Her eyes flitted down towards his chest and she blushed.

He finished his chocolate frogs. "But I didn't take you off the dance floor to just eat."

He warily looked around before leading her to the wall, away from other people. "Have you sent any letters to this 'Half-Blood Prince' yet?" His eyes were concerned but his eyebrows were angled downward in suspicion.

Alice shook her head. "No, not yet. I don't yet know what I am going to say to him."

Frank grabbed her wrist, stroking the inside of it. "I don't like this."

Alice sighed. "Love, I need to help this person."

Frank frowned. "Alice, you forget that these people can hurt us." He ran a hand through his hair. "I've seen it happen on the battlefield. It's getting dark out there. People are dying."

Alice cupped his cheek. "And I am trying to stop that."

Frank sighed, "Alice-"

She placed a finger over his lips. "Please, darling, we only have tonight to spend together before you have to go back. Let's not spend it arguing."

He nodded before putting his hands on her waist and pulling her towards him, planting his lips over hers. Her hands traced up his chest to circle his neck. And they kissed as if they couldn't breathe without each other.

* * *

Sirius' heartbeat quickened.

He listened to Kind Beowulf talk about his favorite books and he was enthralled.

There was just this energy that Kind Beowulf had that was so uplifting. It was as if all the prejudice and violence happening outside of Hogwarts' walls didn't faze him. And it wasn't ignorance. It was optimism.

He remembered when he first saw Kind Beowulf standing at the entrance, waiting for him. Sirius had gone rigid. He looked so much like Remus, from his fair skin to his sandy hair.

There was also this light about him. Something tugged at Sirius' soul when he saw Kind Beowulf for the first time.

But when he saw him about to walk away, he couldn't take it, seeing this man and letting him go, not ever knowing if he could ever see him again.

Now, he stood listening to Kind Beowulf talk and couldn't help but be charmed by his passion for literature.

"...and one of the most underappreciated characters in the story is-"

Sirius interject, "How can you be so passionate?"

Kind Beowulf stopped. "What?"

"How can you be so passionate when there is so much shit happening?" Sirius asked.

Kind Beowulf clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Language."

Sirius' lips twitched. He even sounded like Remus.

Kind Beowulf paused to think before answering, "I am passionate because I have to be."

Sirius turned his head to the side in confusion. "Why?"

Kind Beowulf sighed sadly and said, "The Death Eaters want us to be afraid. They invade our homes and murder innocent people because they want us to be too scared to oppose them. Soon, we will be too afraid to go outside their own homes. We will be too afraid to go to concerts, to school, to parties, or to libraries. We will lose our passion."

But then Kind Beowulf beamed back at him and said, "But if we keep going to parties and concerts and we keep laughing and we keep living, we let them know that we aren't afraid of them."

Sirius sucked in a breath. His jaw slackened, even though Kind Beowulf couldn't see under the helmet.

All Sirius could blurt out was, "My parents don't love me."

Kind Beowulf started. "What?"

Sirius hesitated. He recognized the look he got from people when they found out. The furrowed brow and the mouth pulled down. It looked like disgust. But he stared into Kind Beowulf's eyes, he realized that it wasn't disgust. It was concern.

He continued to blurt out, "I lived in an abusive house. My mother hates me. She hates my friends. She hates that I am a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin. And she hates that I am ga-"

Kind Beowulf bounded forward and grabbed both of Sirius' arms. "Calm down! It's okay."

Sirius didn't know he was shaking.

Suddenly, Kind Beowulf did something that surprised the both of them. He gently slid one of Sirius' gauntlets off and held his hand. Skin to skin.

Sirius stuttered, "W-what are you doing?"

Kind Beowulf blushed. "I...I am not quite sure." He scratched the back of his head. "I just wanted to calm you."

Sirius looked down at their intertwined hands before grasping it tightly, thanking Merlin that Kind Beowulf couldn't see him blushing under the helmet.

Kind Beowulf blushed again before saying, "Let's go to a corner. There are good Slytherins here tonight, but there are also many bad ones, and we don't want any bad Slytherins see us and start a skirmish with us because two men are holding hands."

Sirius let Kind Beowulf lead him to a wall, glaring under the helmet at the thought of how unfair it was that heterosexual relationships were acceptable to the purebloods but homosexual ones were not.

They both stood facing each other, with their sides pressed against the wall, hands still intertwined.

Remus asked, "Better now?"

Sirius nodded. "Just... tell me something. Anything. So I can forget."

Kind Beowulf sighed and thought silently.

After several minutes, he looked back at Sirius with frightened eyes and said, "I have a terrible secret. It is so shameful that you would surely turn away if I told you."

Sirius shook his head, gripping Kind Beowulf's hand harder. "Tell me."

Kind Beowulf hesitated before saying, "I can't tell you my secret. But I can tell you what happened once when I did."

Sirius nodded.

Kind Beowulf took a shaky breath. "In 4th year, I was in a relationship with a girl once. Let's call her Grey. At the time, I thought that she had really pretty grey eyes. She was funny and daring, and really smart. I really liked her and I thought she really liked me. I...I thought I was in love."

Sirius nodded, urging him to continue.

Kind Beowulf started again. "I decided to tell her my secret. I wanted to take her to somewhere private and she wanted to snog, so we settled on the girl's lavatories. It was somewhere no one would expect me to be and it was private enough for Grey to snog me. We went into a stall and...I-I told her."

Kind Beowulf looked down at his feet and began to tremble.

Sirius gripped their hands harder. "What happened?"

Kind Beowulf looked back up with glistening eyes. "She-she hurt me. She slapped me and shoved me back. I almost fell into the toilet. She started yelling at me, calling me dirty and impure. She called me a liar because she thought I was normal, but I am not."

Sirius clenched his fist in the hand that wasn't holding Kind Beowulf's. "What happened next?"

Kind Beowulf swallowed. "I was saved. By a girl with green eyes."

Sirius started. "Who was she? Did you know her?"

Remus shook his head. "At the time, she was barely an acquaintance. She hated one of my friends, so we never interacted very much. But she was in another stall, and she heard what was happening in my stall. And...she decided to step in."

Sirius asked tentatively, "What...what did she do?"

Kind Beowulf gave a small smile in memory. "She came in and dragged Grey out, pushing her into a wall and threatening her. She scared her to the point that Grey ran out of the lavatories. I was still in the stall, shaking."

Kind Beowulf took another heavy breath. "She took one look at me and then embraced me as I cried. And when I was finished, I asked her why she did it. And she said, 'I know what it's like to be hurt by people I care about.' And she told me to not be afraid to defend what I believe in, even if it is myself."

Kind Beowulf beamed. "And now I know not to lose hope. There is light in the dark. We just have to find it."

Sirius sucked in a breath.

With their hands already intertwined, he pulled Kind Beowulf towards him to embrace him. Sirius whispered, "Dance with me." Kind Beowulf squeaked in surprise.

They hugged for a few seconds before Sirius bounced back. "Sorry! I know the metal armor isn't very nice to hug…"

Kind Beowulf pulled him in again. "O-okay."

Sirius began to pull him towards the dance floor.

Kind Beowulf paused. "Wait, we'll be seen!"

Sirius shook his head. "It's just like you said. We can't be afraid. We have to continue living. Or else they will have won."

Sirius took off his gauntlets and pulled Kind Beowulf to the dance floor. Kind Beowulf looked back at the corner before looking back at Sirius.

"Okay."

* * *

James grinned as he glided Emerald Flower across the dance floor, feeling elation whenever he heard her giggle.

He twirled her away from him and then pulled her back to him. She fell into his chest and looked into his eyes.

But she started to notice their surroundings. "Loyal Lion, people are staring."

James looked around and noticed curious eyes looking at them. He was brought back to the parties and dinners at his family manor where the guests only noticed him for his name. He sighed. He knew he shouldn't have flaunted his dancing skills so openly. Only the wealthiest wizarding families received such advanced dance lessons.

He grumbled, "Let's get out of the spotlight."

Emerald Flower nodded. She too was reminded of the pressure of being watched, but in her case, it was as Head Girl and as a muggleborn. A combination many purebloods could not accept.

They exited the dance floor to escape the curious eyes.

They stood against a wall. James asked, "Is your anxiety okay now?"

Emerald Flower smiled and nodded. "It's much better now. I didn't know dancing would be such a good distraction."

James grinned. "It's the same thing for me and Quidditch. When I am up in the air, I just don't care."

Emerald Flower laughed.

James grew serious again. "Really, though, are you okay?"

Emerald Flower nodded. "I have been dealing with this for a long time. I am kind of used to it now."

James raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Emerald Flower sighed. She looked out into the crowds of dancing students as she said, "When I was younger, I thought I knew who I was. Until I received my Hogwarts letter in the mail. At first, I was excited. There was this whole other part of me that I had yet to explore. But finding out I was a witch has brought me more pain than happiness. I am judged for the blood that runs through my veins rather than by the heart in my chest."

James started. He didn't know that Emerald Flower was a muggleborn.

She continued. "So I tried to prove to everyone that I belonged here. I did well in my classes, made many friends, and even achieved a position as Head-" she caught herself, "I mean, prefect."

James made a comment. "That's good, right?"

Emerald Flower could only glumly look back at him. "It's a little more complicated than that. When I went home, I would tell my family about my achievements. But they don't understand. My sister hates me. She is absolutely jealous. And my parents are sweethearts, but they know nothing about the wizarding world or the political climate."

Emerald Flower sighed. "I don't have anywhere to go. I belong to neither the wizarding world nor the muggle world."

James grabbed her hand and answered vehemently, "You belong with us. Anyone who doesn't think that is an idiot."

Emerald Flower smiled. "Thank you." She gripped his hand harder. "Your turn."

James started. "What?"

She replied, "I told you were my anxiety comes from. Now you can tell me where your trust issues come from."

James shuffled his feet. "I don't know if I can tell you."

Emerald Flower shook her head. "I won't judge. It's okay because you'll still be the same funny and kind person to me."

James hesitated. He wasn't sure if he could tell his innermost secret to Emerald Flower when he couldn't even tell his best mates. He contemplated a little longer. The only reason why he didn't tell Sirius and Remus was because he thought they wouldn't understand. Would Emerald Flower?

James sighed. "Okay, what I am about to tell you is something that I have never told anyone before."

Emerald Flower nodded.

James began. "Before 6th year, I was a kind of a bully. I teased and pranked other students all the time. But then, in 5th year, I took it too far."

Emerald Flower's mouth began to form the question asking what happened, but James shook his head saying, "I will tell you that story another time."

He continued. "So, word got back to my father about what had happened. He was furious, telling me that he didn't raise me to hurt others, especially since his job is to protect the innocent. He was an Auror."

James took a heavy breath before going on. "He was…ashamed of me. And he said that he couldn't trust me to take over the family one day if I was going to hurt people to get there."

Emerald Flower held his hand tighter in comfort.

He continued. "That same evening, he received a Patronus message alerting him of a Death Eater attack at the ministry. And he left, like he usually did, to protect the innocent. But he never came back."

Emerald Flower gasped, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

James scowled at the floor. "They murdered him. It didn't matter that he had a family. It didn't matter that he was trying to help the innocent. And it didn't matter that he was a pureblood."

He looked up at her and spat out, "The Death Eaters will do anything to get what they want. They will kill muggleborns and purebloods to get their way. They won that night. I was the one who lost that night. And what did I lose? A father who died not trusting me because I was a bully."

James slumped and slid down against the wall. "I never got to prove to him that I can be better."

Emerald Flower leaned down, careful to not trip over the layers of her gown. She cupped his face and said, "Listen to me. You have more than proven that you are better. You are not a bully now. Would a bully help another person with anxiety? Probably not, which means you are better now. Your father would be so proud of you."

Emerald Flower pulled him back onto his feet before hugging him tightly.

He hugged her back and whispered, "Thank you."

They stood like that for several seconds until James looked at the time on the clock. It was 11:59 pm. He suddenly perked up.

He pulled back and turned Emerald Flower around so that her back was against his chest.

She gasped in surprise. "What's going on?"

James replied, "Just look up at the ceiling."

When the clock struck midnight, students started to notice the giant pumpkins floating at the ceiling begin to shake. Many braced themselves in fear.

Emerald Flower wanted to move forward. "Loyal Lion, we have to do something."

James shook his head and held her back. "Wait for it. Trust me."

Emerald Flower nodded.

Suddenly, one of the pumpkins that shook exploded with a _POP_! But it didn't not explode into flames. It exploded into green, purple, orange, and black confetti.

Emerald Flower gasped. "Oh!"

Students began to cheer and jump as more pumpkins exploded in colorful confetti.

Soon the whole room was cheering. Emerald Flower turned around and looked back Loyal Lion, who was grinning mischievously. "How did you know that was going to happen?"

James shook his head, still grinning. "Can't tell you."

Emerald Flower smirked, poking his chest and leaning in close. "Then I will find out for myself."

The emerald eyes held him. Confetti fell around them like colorful raindrops.

And in that moment, James Potter forgot about Lily Evans, for all he could see was Emerald Flower.

Tentatively, he raised his hand to her mask. "Who are you?"

He started to slip his hands under the ribbons of her mask, and she let him.

A scream ran out in the room. James and Emerald Flower whirled to see Alice Longbottom threw herself on top of the fallen form of Frank Longbottom. Standing above the two was a figure with a skull mask. The figure turned and began targeting other students.

More screams tore through the Great Halls as other students began dropping to the floor, smiling skull faces hanging over their forms.

Students began running for the exits.

Emerald Flower ran towards Alice while James ran in another direction to help the fleeing students.

Alice sobbed as she looked up at Emerald Flower. "Lily! Please help me take him!"

Emerald Flower knelt down and tried to pull at Alice's arm and Marlene and Benjy appeared to do the same. Emerald Flower answered, "Alice, it isn't safe! There's nothing we can do for him."

Alice shook her head vehemently. "No! He's still breathing! I won't leave without him!"

Marlene nodded. "Okay, we will help you carry him, but we have to hurry."

Emerald Flower replied, "You three go. I have to stay here and help the others."

Marlene shook her head. "No way! It's too dangerous!"

Emerald Flower stood up. "I am Head Girl. I have to."

Marlene put a hand on her shoulder. "Be careful."

Emerald Flower nodded. "I'll cover you."

As the three started to carry Frank, Lily stood in front of them to defend them from any assailants. She waved her wand, charming her costume back into her dorm and appearing wearing her Hogwarts uniform, and outfit more suitable for dueling than a ball gown.

When they finally carried Frank out of the Great Hall, Lily gripped her wand tightly in her hand before running into the heart of the fighting.

Loyal Lion ducked under a table. Hidden by the tablecloth, he waved his wand, sending his costume back to his dorm and appearing in his own uniform.

He rolled out and started casting spells, nearly running into Lily.

"James!" She exclaimed.

" _Stupefy!"_

Both Lily and James ducked behind some overturned chairs.

Lily stuck her head up for a second to shout, " _Petrificus Totalus!"_

She ducked before she could see the skull faced figure fall but she heard the body thud to floor.

"Death Eaters," James said to Lily.

She nodded grimly. "Do you know if Headmaster Dumbledore has contacted the Aurors yet?"

James nodded. "Yes, I saw him as I was helping students escape. They're on their way."

Lily pursed her lips in determination. "Then it's our job to hold them off until the Aurors come."

James nodded before the two jumped up and started to fight.

* * *

Remus and Black Knight dueled the Death Eaters from behind a table, jumping up to cast a spell before ducking back behind the table.

"How long are we supposed to do this?" Black Knight shouted over the noise of the chaos.

Remus answered, "The Aurors should be coming soon. We just have to wait a little bit longer. _Expelliarmus!"_

A wand flew out of a skull-faced wizard's hand, causing him to sneer in irritation. His comrade spat out, " _Incendio_!"

"Watch out!" Black Knight shouted as he yanked himself and Remus away from the now burning table.

The Death Eaters turned and walked away to find easier prey.

Black Knight growled and his fist clenched around his wand as he yelled, " _Crucio-"_

"No!" Remus shouted as he pulled Black Knight's arm, causing him to miss.

Black Knight whirled. "What are you doing?"

Remus answered, "We are just supposed to stall until the Aurors get here!"

Black Knight turned back to the fighting. "I don't care anymore. _Cruci-_ "

Remus pulled Black Knight's arm back down again. "I said stop it! There has to be another way!"

"Look around you!" Black Knight yelled.

Remus did. Students and professors ran around the room, trying desperately to defend themselves and the remaining helpless students. Bodies were scattered across the floor like the confetti from the pumpkins.

"It's always going to be us against them, Kind Beowulf! Things are never going to change! And I am done waiting to fight back!"

Remus look back at Black Knight with horrified eyes as a memory ran through his mind.

 _Sirius turned back to Remus. "They are done waiting to 'cleanse' the magical race. And I am done waiting to fight back."_

Remus gasped, "Sirius?"

Black Knight started. "You know who I am?"

Black Knight tore off his helmet and Remus wanted to cry in horror. It was his Sirius, with his long hair and grey eyes.

Suddenly, Aurors barged through the Great Hall's main entrance. Sirius turned to look at them.

Students and professors began to cheer.

Sirius was about to join in when he turned back.

His AOL partner was gone.

* * *

 **Oh snap! What happened to Frank? Where did Remus go? What is going to happen to James/Loyal Lion's and Lily/ Emerald Flower's relationship? You'll have to wait and see.**

 **And thank you so much for sticking with me these past 10 chapters. I can't believe I made it this far and I can't wait for more chapters to come!**

 **And remember that I upload every Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	12. Ch 12: What Happens in the Moonlight

**Hello!**

 **Curious question. Who is going to see or has already seen "Crimes of Grindelwald?" I know that I am going next weekend with my friends!**

 **Also, here is another thing. I did not mean for this chapter to be 20 pages again. It just happened, okay? I literally just made an outline of what I wanted to happen in this chapter and then I started writing. Before I knew it, a truckload of words came out of my fingers. Totally not my doing at all, but you seem to eat up my words, so it is not an actually a bad thing.**

 **Finally, I am metaphorically dying on the inside because I am rereading Chapter 11 and I am noticing all the typos I made in my rush to upload it. The most painful one is calling Alice "Alice Longbottom" instead of "Alice Fortescue." Wow, I ship Fralice so hard that, in my mind, they are married even before it's even canon.**

 **But other than that, let's give thanks!**

 **Thank you to** **justenb7** **for following my story! I hope you enjoy what I have been writing so far!**

 **Thank you to** **justenb7** **for adding my story to your favorites! I try. I really do.**

 **Thank you to my reviewers!**

 ***Reviews***

 **Shamelessandweird** **: woahhhhhhhh ! cliff hanger! now m so very much excited to know what happens further! this is best! 3 3**

 **My response: Aww, thank you for calling my work the best! And I can't wait for you to find out what happens!**

 **Fire and Ice : OMG SUCH A CLIFFHANGER IM LEGIT SCREAMING RN**

 **My response: I never thought I would say this but I am a writer, so I am already a crazy person to begin with. I never thought I would say that I am glad to hear that you are screaming. That means that my work gives you emotions. Just like I had hoped… (insert evil face here)**

 ***Thank you for reviewing***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns everything (except the plot), including my soul. Trust me. You know she owns me when writing 20 pages of Harry Potter fanfiction becomes routine.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 12: What Happens Under the Moonlight

Morning, Sunday, October 23, 1977

Lily's knuckles were white as she clenched down on the armrests of her chair in Headmaster Dumbledore's office.

James couldn't stay in his seat so he paced back and forth, glaring into the ground.

They were both anxious to hear from Headmaster Dumbledore and the Aurors about what they found out from the Death Eaters they had captured at the ball last night. Currently, they were being held in a detention classroom down in the dungeons.

Lily broke the silence. "I just don't know how they got in. We had no security issues last night. None the protective spells were disabled and no one was let in or out of the school."

"That's because no one came in," said a voice at the door.

Both James and Lily turned see Headmaster Dumbledore and a squad of Aurors enter.

James started. "What do you mean no one got in? How could Death Eaters be at Hogwarts if they didn't get in?"

Headmaster Dumbledore walked to his seat while an Auror answered James' question. "Hello. My name is Christopher Lockley and I am the Head Auror of this unit. The Death Eaters didn't come in because they were already inside."

Lily gasped. "No. You can't mean…"

Auror Lockley nodded. "Every single Death Eater we unmasked was a Hogwarts student."

Lily covered her face with her hands as James replied, "That means…"

"...that the war is no longer outside anymore. It has come to Hogwarts," Lily finished. She put her arms around herself. "Nowhere is safe anymore."

James put an arm on her shoulders and Dumbledore stood up to put hand on hers. "Don't worry, my child. We are taking the proper measures to make sure you are protected."

Auror Lockley nodded. "My unit is now going to transport the students to a building where they will be held until their trial."

Lily closed her eyes and nodded.

Headmaster Dumbledore smiled. "Thank you, Auror Lockley. I will let you and your unit escort the students off the premises."

Auror Lockley nodded and he and his unit exited down the stairs.

Headmaster Dumbledore looked back at James and Lily. "I decided to let you two attend this meeting because you two are my Head Boy and Head Girl. I would like you to inform the prefects to stay alert."

James and Lily both nodded.

"Also," Headmaster Dumbledore continued, "It seems that, of all the victims being treated in the hospital wing, fortunately, none are dead."

Lily started. "How is that possible? Why attack if they weren't going to kill anyone?"

Dumbledore answered, "I believe that last night's attack was meant to incite terror. A majority of the students affected last night were merely stunned into unconsciousness. The rest have been affected by other spells, such as paralysis through _Petrificus Totalus_ or use of the Cruciatus Curse."

James clenched his fists. "They want to scare us into submission."

Headmaster Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, which is why you must warn the prefects, as I shall warn all the students at dinner tonight."

Lily nodded, but James glared at the ground.

Headmaster Dumbledore asked, "What troubles you, Mr. Potter?"

James looked up. "This was a planned attack."

Headmaster Dumbledore nodded.

James continued. "That must mean that they had to know the exact moment that the students would be the most distracted in order to target as many victims as possible."

"What are you trying to say, James?" Lily whispered.

"Everyone was distracted by my confetti pumpkins," James concluded.

"Your confetti pumpkins?" Lily asked.

James nodded. "It was my idea, sir. I am sorry." James looked down at his feet.

Headmaster Dumbledore waved his hand. "No, it was not your fault. You could not have known."

"But who did know?" asked Lily. "Who could have known about the pumpkins?"

James answered, "The only people who knew were me, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. We would never tell anyone, though. Marauder code."

Lily nodded. In all the years she had known the boys, they had never faltered in their trust in each other.

Headmaster Dumbledore rose an eyebrow and asked, "Are you certain?"

James nodded, "Peter must had accidentally dropped our list of ideas. I will make sure he keeps track of it next time. I am sorry, sir."

Headmaster Dumbledore shook his head. "I am not blaming either of you. Neither of you meant for this to happen." He looked at the clock and said, "Thank you for coming. I won't keep you two any longer."

Both James and Lily nodded before exiting the office. They walked silently back to their dormitory.

Back at their dormitory, James put a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Lily shook her head, walking away from him and up the stairs.

James sighed and let himself fall back onto a sofa.

Banging on the entrance of the dormitory startled him. He jumped and opened the door, watching Sirius stumble as he barged in.

James exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

Sirius turned back to look at James, eyes wild and bloodshot. "Moony is missing!"

"What?" James nearly shouted.

Sirius didn't answer him as he tore up the stairs.

James bounded up after him. "Hey, where are you going?"

Sirius ignored his question. "Is he here?" He ripped open James' door and looked in to find no Remus. He turned away and ran down the stairs. "Where is he?"

"Hey, wait! Just tell me what is going on!" James shouted from behind him.

Sirius ran his hands through his hair. "I didn't see him come back to the dormitory last night, but I assumed he slept here for the night. But he didn't come back in the morning, so I tried to use the map to find him. But it's gone!"

James ran a hand through his hair. "Shit…"

Sirius looked at the floor glumly. "I know he's hiding."

James raised an eyebrow. "How can you even think that?"

Sirius answered. "He and I still haven't made up yet. Maybe he is still angry that I haven't apologized and I waited too long."

James sighed. "That's mad. How do you even know that he is hiding from you?"

Sirius rubbed his forehead in frustration. "His trunk of clothes is half empty, and most of his books are gone. And with the map being gone, I think he took it to keep us from finding him."

James collapsed into a chair. "Damn."

Sirius covered his face with his hands. "I'm a bastard. I've lost him forever."

James shook his head. "No."

James jumped up and grabbed a coat. "Come, we are going to go and look for him."

Sirius nodded and followed him out the door.

* * *

Frank's fingers twitched in Alice's hands and she sat up, hoping he was waking up.

She ran a hand through his hair. "Love, please wake up."

Frank groaned and grimaced. "It's bright."

Alice nodded. "Oh, of course." She stood up to close the curtains above his bed.

She sat back down and gripped his hand in hers. "Can you open your eyes for me?"

Gradually, his eyes curled open. In an instant, he tried to sit up, moaning at the pain in his head.

Alice gasped and cried, "What are you doing? Lay down!"

She gently pushed him down onto the bed again.

He looked her up and down. "Are you hurt?"

Alice shook her head. "No, but you are and you need to rest."

When she got him to lay down, she adjusted his sheets and pillows so that he could rest more comfortably. She mumbled, "You shouldn't have done that last night."

He quirked an eyebrow. "What? Jump in front of his attack so that it would hit me instead of you?"

Alice sighed. "Yes, please don't. Never again."

Frank's jaw clenched. "Why not?"

Alice gripped his hand tighter, her lower lip beginning to tremble. "Because one second we are looking at the confetti and the next my boyfriend is on the ground behind me! I didn't know what to think. I turn around and my first thought is that the love of my life is dead!" Alice let go of Frank's hand and covered her face, sobbing.

Frank shot up and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Love, I had to. What if I hadn't? You would be sitting in this bed instead of me."

Alice shook as she whimpered, "B-better me than you."

Frank shook his head adamantly. "No, love. When I heard him behind us, I had no idea what spell he was going to use. I am lucky it was just a stunning spell, but what if it was the Cruciatus curse? Or the killing curse? And what if I decided not to jump in front of it? I won't accept any reality in which I lost you because I didn't jump in front of you. I was going to protect you no matter what kind of attack it was."

Alice put her hands on his shoulders as he wiped her tears away and asked, "What else happened last night?"

Alice shook her head and said, "I am not entirely sure. Marlene, Benjy, and I carried you out of the ballroom and the rest was chaotic. Some students stayed back to fight the Death Eaters and then the Aurors arrived, but no one knows why the attack happened or who the Death Eaters are. Headmaster Dumbledore and the Aurors are investigating it right now."

Frank nodded. "Then for now, I will just be satisfied with the information that you aren't hurt."

Alice's arm encircled Frank neck and she rested her head on his chest. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

She pulled back to hold his face in her hands. "I was so afraid that I would never get to tell you those words again."

He smiled, kissing her and saying, "Mmm, tell me those words again."

* * *

Evening, Tuesday, October 25, 1977

Sirius sat in the Head Common Room with his hands covering his face. James went down to the kitchen to get them some food because they skipped dinner trying to find Remus.

They had been looking for days, scouring the entire castle and grounds, from the classrooms to the Forbidden Forest. No Remus.

They even reported Remus' disappearance to Headmaster Dumbledore, which Sirius was too stubborn to do at first because he wanted to solve the problem without the intervention of adults. But Sirius was desperate now.

Sirius rubbed his eyes, which stung from lack of sleep. His scalp stung from Sirius' nails running through his hair every few minutes. He wouldn't be surprised if he had pulled some hair out in his bouts of frustration.

There were no clues to be found. No note, no strand of hair, no drop of blood. Sirius cursed Remus' cleverness. If Remus didn't want to be found, he certainly did his part well.

Sirius rubbed his temple as he stood up. He was going to find James so they could start looking again. Everything else be damned.

He was yanked out of this thoughts when his foot collided with a coffee table, knocking it over and sending books sliding across the carpeted floor.

He cursed in pain, bending down to rub his foot and collect the books. He read the titles as he picked them up. He thought to himself, _The Iliad, Pride and Prejudice...What kind of muggle rubbish is Evans reading?_

 _Evans._

His jaw slackened as the realization hit him. The only other person Remus was close to was Evans.

He dropped the books, his feet running to the stairs before he could hear the sickening crunch of the crinkling pages of the forgotten books on the floor.

He tore up the stairs, his feet thudding at the pace of his heartbeat.

He banged on Lily's door.

Lily perked up from her laying position on her bed.

She ran a hand through her hair, smoothing it before opening the door. "James, what-"

She straightened when she realized who actually stood at her door. "Oh, it's just you, Black."

She looked him up and down before plugging her nose. "You reek. When was the last time you took a shower?"

He grumbled as he shoved his way into her room and asked, "Where is Remus?" He looked around.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Um...he's missing. I thought you knew that?"

Sirius glared at her and answered, "Oh, shove it! Other than me, James, and Peter, you are his next closest friend. You know something we don't, so spit it out!"

Lily scoffed. "I don't know anything! And even if I did, I'd be out there with you looking for him!"

Sirius clenched his fist. "That's another thing. You haven't tried looking for him with the rest of us. You are too calm about this. What are you hiding?"

Lily groaned. "Nothing!"

Sirius ripped his wand out from his robes and pointed it at her. "You know, I've always hated you."

Lily glared back at him, her hand pulling out her own wand. "Likewise."

Sirius tightened his hold on his wand. "You broke my best mate's heart. Every single damn time you rejected him."

Lily continued to glare at him, but he thought he saw something die in her eyes.

He continued. "And now you are trying to take Remus away from me?" He let out a dark laugh. "I'm not going to let that happen. So you better tell me where he is, because I won't hesitate to hurt you if you don't."

Lily clicked her tongue. "Do you hear the rubbish coming out of your mouth? Why would I try to take Remus away from you?"

Lily sighed. "Besides, is this what Remus would want? Two of his friends fighting?"

She lowered her wand. "All Remus ever wanted was for you to stop worrying about revenge. Do you think he would be proud to see you like this?"

He continued to point his wand at her for several moments before lowering it warily. His scowl, however, didn't falter. "I'm stopping for Remus, not for you."

Lily nodded. "Likewise."

Sirius whirled and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him, sending a tremor to the walls and windows.

Lily's hands shook as she walked over to the door of her walk-in closet and opened it.

She said softly, "You can come out now."

She turned on the lights and saw a sobbing Remus curled up on his sleeping bag. "I'm sorry, Lily," he choked out, "I was just too afraid."

Lily walked over to his curled form and knelt down to sit him up and embrace him. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

Together, the two sat on the floor on Remus' sleeping bag, Lily holding Remus as he cried.

"I am sorry he said those words to you," Remus mumbled.

Lily shook her head. "He said them, not you."

Remus sighed. "I just couldn't face him. He and I were still arguing, and then I found out who he was and..."

Lily nodded and patted his head. "I know."

There was silence until Lily asked, "Do you still love him?"

A heartbeat passed. "Yes."

Lily pulled back and asked him softly, "Then why are you still hiding?"

Remus sighed, laying back into his sleeping bag, staring the ceiling. "I am scared."

Lily tilted her head in confusion. Remus continued. "I just found out that my crush is the same person that I have been sending letters to for the past few weeks. And I have told his alter ego things that I would never tell him in person."

Lily's eyebrows rose. "Like what?"

Remus frowned. "The incident in the girl's lavatories in 4th year."

Lily gasped. "Oh."

Remus nodded. "And now I have no idea what to say to him."

Lily pursed her lips and patted his hands. "But you can't keep doing this forever. You are going to have to face him some time. And you'll have to tell him the truth."

Remus sighed. "I know."

She gave his hand a final pat before standing up. "Do you need me to get you anymore food from the kitchens or anymore books from the library?"

Remus shook his head.

She continued. "Also, James and Sirius are going to be out late looking for you again, so you should use the bathroom now before they come back later."

Remus gave her a small smile. "Thank you, Lily."

She smiled and nodded, walking to the closet door. But then she turned back. "What are you going to do about tomorrow?"

Remus grimaced. They had both looked at the calendar and knew what tomorrow night was.

"I don't know."

* * *

Evening, Wednesday, October 26, 1977

Sirius rubbed his face and groaned, his other hand massaging his shoulder to get rid of the tension in it.

He and James stood in the Gryffindor boys dormitories. They tried to unearth everything in Remus' living area. They had pulled away bed sheets, taken out desk drawers, and even flipped through some of the books he had left behind. There was nothing.

James pinched the bridge of his as he settled onto his old bed. "Maybe we should stop trying to look for him."

Sirius jerked back. "What? Why?"

James sighed. "Because maybe he doesn't want to be found. Maybe he'll come back to us when he's ready. Maybe he just needs some time."

Sirius shook his head as he continued looking through desk drawers. "No, he needs to come back and tell us why is he so bloody scared to just talk to us!"

James laid back on his bed and stared at the canopy. "You see, that's your problem. You don't know when to give up."

Sirius snorted. "Says the one who pined after a girl for seven years."

James' mouth twitched. "Oh, I won't deny that, but I did something very different. And you want to know what that was?"

Sirius tried to ignore James as he sifted through Remus' bed.

James answered, "I listened to her. She told me to leave her alone and come back when I was mature. And I did. And now she and I are great friends," James sighed breathlessly, "There are days when even I can't believe it."

Sirius grumbled unintelligibly.

James continued. "Also, when are you going to apologize to her about what you said yesterday?"

Sirius growled, "Whenever she puts down the act and admits she knows something. Or whenever she apologizes first."

James clicked his tongue. "You know I don't like it when my friends fight."

Sirius rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

James put both hands behind his head as he continued to gaze at the canopy. "You want to know the first time I ever thought of Lily as a friend?"

Sirius remained silent but listened.

James started off by saying, "Remember when I told you about the time I accidentally walked in on Lily in her knickers in the girls lavatories back in 4th year?"

Sirius smirked. "Yeah, and I still plan to use it as blackmail."

James gave a nervous smile. "Well, it didn't actually happen."

Sirius started. "What?"

James nodded. "I was a little too embarrassed to tell you what really happened, so when you asked where I was that night, I lied. But I want to tell you what really happened."

James began to lose himself in the memory as he told Sirius what truly happened in the girls lavatories during 4th year:

 _14 year old James Potter sauntered the halls of Hogwarts, lazily grinning at the girls who swooned as he walked by._

 _He gave a passing glance out the window and noticed the face of the moon staring back. It wasn't a full moon, but still fuller than a half moon. James steeled himself. It would only be a few more days until he and the Marauders would have to take their monthly visit to the Shrieking Shack._

 _He nodded to himself, though. For Remus, who was like a brother, he would do anything._

 _These thoughts prompted him to wonder what Remus was doing. So he pulled at the map and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."_

 _Ink bloomed across the pages until he found Remus' name floating next to his girlfriend's name. Serena Brodeur. A girl with flowing dark waves of hair and piercing grey eyes._

 _James chuckled to himself, glad to see Remus with a girl, but his eyebrows furrowed when he saw the names floating in a girls lavatory._

 _He wanted to not think on it too much. It was common for couples to snog in the most odd of places, which included the lavatories. But surely Remus wasn't that odd._

 _What alarmed James the most was that the floating name of Lily Evans began to float towards the names of Remus and Serena._

 _At that point, it was too odd for James to ignore. He hurriedly whispered, "Mischief Managed," before pocketing the map and walking swiftly to find the girls lavatories._

 _By the time he had arrived, he jumped back as a crying Serena Brodeur raced out of the lavatories, her eyes blurred by tears so that she did not see James standing near by._

 _James, more curious than ever, opened the door just a crack to see Lily embracing Remus' crying form._

 _James reached for his wand and glared. What had happened here that caused Remus such distress?_

 _James saw Remus tremble as he asked Lily, "Why did you do that?"_

 _Lily looked back at Remus with bleak eyes. "I know what it's like to be hurt by the one you love. I've been hurt before, and I had no one. I didn't want you to be alone."_

 _Remus began to cry harder, not just because of his own pain, but also at the injustice of Lily's pain. He knew she was talking about her blood status._

 _Lily stroked Remus head as she said, "I may seem cruel to Potter, but everything I do, I do it to protect myself or my friends. Don't be afraid to get angry if you are going to use it to defend something you believe in, even if it is yourself. You should only be afraid when you find yourself getting angry to defend something that you don't believe in."_

 _Remus nodded, his tears beginning to subside._

 _Lily pulled back and gripped Remus' shoulders. "Don't you dare believe her words for a second. You aren't impure or dirty. You are good and kind."_

 _Lily poked his chest. "So the next time someone tries to tell you otherwise, I want you to stand up for yourself."_

 _Remus smiled and nodded, pulling Lily in for another embrace._

 _A few moments later, Remus stood up to leave first. James saw him coming towards the door and jumped out of the way and behind a wall. James watched as Remus walked away._

 _A few moments after that, Lily began to exit the lavatories. But she stopped when James jumped out and pointed his wand at her._

 _Her back straightened and her eyes narrowed. "What do you think you're doing?"_

 _He answered. "You know Remus' secret."_

 _Lily nodded._

 _He walked closer, his wand still raised and pointed at her. "You can't tell anyone."_

 _Lily put her hands on her hips. "Why would I ever need to tell anyone his secret?"_

 _James scoffed, "You aren't a dim-witted witch, Evans."_

 _Lily pursed her lips. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Exposing a werewolf could get her money, fame, or even acceptance, despite her blood status._

 _James smirked, knowing what she was thinking. He was prepared to jinx her, just to scare her into silence. But then she did something that changed every thought he had ever had about her._

 _She stretched an arm out to him, as if she was going to shake his hand._

 _James jerked back. "What are you doing?"_

 _Lily ignored his question. "Do an Unbreakable Vow with me. I will vow to never tell anyone Remus' secret."_

 _James stared at her incredulously. She was willing to make an Unbreakable Vow with him? That also mean that she was willing to forfeit her life to keep Remus' secret._

 _James slowly lowered his wand. "Put your hand down. I won't make you do it."_

 _She put it down. "Why?"_

" _If you're willing to do it, then that means that you won't say anything anyways," James replied._

 _Lily nodded, her eyes still piercing into his soul._

 _James had never been so in awe of her. Without saying anything, he turned and walked away, leaving her to ponder in the empty hallway._

"And that is the first time I ever thought of not just a skirt to chase or a goddess to fantasize about," James murmured.

He sat up. "I saw her as a person. A kind and empathetic person. Someone who could be a true friend."

James looked to him for an answer, but found a very pale Sirius gripping one of Remus' desk drawers.

"Padfoot?" James asked cautiously, "Are you alright?"

Sirius didn't answer. All he did was give a loud cry as he yanked out the drawer and threw it against the wall, its contents raining down in the room. He stood up and pulled at the Remus' curtains and pulled and pulled until they ripped off the window.

James shouted in alarm as he tried to restrain Sirius by standing behind him and putting his arms behind his back. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Sirius pulled at his arms. "I have to find him! He's Kind Beowulf!"

James shouted back, still trying to restrain him. "Who is Kind Beowulf?"

"Remus!" Sirius shouted, tearing his arms away from James. "Remus is Kind Beowulf! My AOL partner."

James gave him a confused look. "But how do you know?"

Sirius walked over to the window and looked outside. "At the ball, I met Kind Beowulf. We wore disguises so we wouldn't know each other's identities. But we shared many secrets."

Sirius took a shaky breath. "He told me about telling a girl his secret in a bathroom, only to have her reject him. Luckily he was saved. By a girl with green eyes."

Sirius turned to look back at James. "That girl...it was Evans."

James sat back down on his bed, shocked. "Bloody hell."

Sirius turned back to the window. "I have to apologize to her now. Now I know why Remus and her started to become friends."

Sirius then realized something. "This means that he and her were closer than I thought. She has to know something about where he is hiding."

Sirius looked up at the sky and almost felt his heart stop as he cried out, "Fuck!"

James straightened. "What?"

Sirius began looking for his wand and his coat. "Look at the fucking moon!"

James ran to the window and he and he immediately wanted to throw up. "Shit."

James started to also grab his wand.

Sirius was still looking for his in the mess of books and sheets that he had created. "I am a fucking idiot! How could I not look at the calendar?"

The two found their wands and tore out the door.

The moon was fuller than ever.

* * *

A black dog and a stag raced through the Forbidden Forest, the paws and hooves moving in sync as they strained their ears for a familiar howl.

But they both knew there was only one place that Remus could safely transform without hurting anyone. The Shrieking Shack.

But this time, Remus was alone, without them. How was he going to restrain himself? What if he found a way out of the Shack and entered the school? Or what if he hurt himself?

The dog tried to not think these thoughts as he and the stag spotted the Shack in the distance.

The dog and the stag sprinted faster, not stopping until they slammed their way into the main room of the Shack.

The dog's heart broke as he witnessed the werewolf pulling at metal chains around his wrists and ankles. The werewolf howled as he tried to free himself.

The dog and stag realized that Remus must have asked Lily to chain him before he transformed so that he could not leave the Shack.

But it wasn't enough. The entire shack vibrated as the werewolf yanked at the chains, and before the dog or the stag could do anything, a loud snap cracked through the air as the chains shattered and the werewolf pulled free.

The stag stood in front of the door, blocking the exit. The werewolf growled in frustration.

The dog barked at the werewolf, trying to communicate with him, to soothe him.

The werewolf growled, ignoring the dog out of irritation.

The stag stomped his hooves, adamant to not let the werewolf leave.

The werewolf growled again, but suddenly he straightened, as if he had changed his mind.

The dog and stag remained alert.

The werewolf turned to the bed, where broken shards of the bed frame lay.

The dog's breath nearly froze in his throat. He remembered learning about werewolf habits in 3rd year. If a werewolf was emotionally distressed before a transformation, he or she was more susceptible to reckless acts of anger or extreme sadness. Including suicide.

Remus was going to kill himself. Using the shards of the bed frame like a wooden stake to the heart.

The dog tried to step in front of the werewolf to prevent him from going to the bed, but the werewolf already bound past him and reached for a wooden shard.

The stag started to jump up and down in alarm.

It was too late. The werewolf had grabbed a shard and aimed it for his heart.

The dog, in a final attempt to save his love, jumped up and used his body to knock the wooden stake out of the werewolf's paws.

For a moment, he felt triumphant. But when he hit the ground, a sickening crunch sounded in the room and he groaned.

He looked down. Oh, he knocked the wooden stake out of the werewolf's hand alright. Only to have himself fall on it, effectively impaling himself.

He barked and whimpered as his red blood sputtered out of his stomach.

He saw the stag run out of the room and the werewolf gave an anguished howl, as if he knew the dog was going to die.

Darkness overtook him.

* * *

Morning, Thursday, October 27, 1997

Pain was like a fist around Sirius' body as he regained consciousness.

He squinted in the morning light that flooded his vision and stared at an unfamiliar ceiling.

As his eyes adjusted, he began to recognize the room he was in.

He was in the Hospital Wing.

He moved his fingers over his chest and found that he was shirtless, horizontal bandages wrapped around his stomach.

He groaned as he tried to sit up.

James appeared in the doorway of the Hospital Wing. "Hey, don't try to sit up yet!"

He walked quickly over to Sirius and helped him lay back down.

Sirius groaned again. "What happened?"

James poked his arm. "You decided to be an idiot and fall onto the stake. I ran out of the Shack to get help. Nurse Pomfrey came to tend to your body and Hagrid came to calm Remus down. He wouldn't step away from you, like he was trying to shield you or something. But we saved you in time. You were lucky it didn't pierce your heart or your lungs. Just your intestines."

"Oh," Sirius mumbled. "I thought you would be more angry."

James let out a snort. "Oh, I am angry, but not as angry as Moony."

Sirius frowned. "Really?"

James nodded and smirked. "You could say he's...over the moon with anger."

Sirius let out a laugh before clutching himself in pain. "Glad to see you are taking my almost-death so well."

James punched his shoulder lightly. "Oh, trust me, I am not. I am just excited to hear what Moony is going to do when you get out of the Hospital Wing."

Sirius moaned, this time not in pain but in fear of Moony as James stepped aside and let Madam Pomfrey to look over his wound.

* * *

That evening, Sirius jerked awake.

A figure in the dark stood out in the moonlight.

Sirius grabbed his wand from his nightstand. "Show yourself."

The figure stepped out, the light gliding up his body until it illuminated his face.

Sirius deflated. "Remus."

Remus' face was stoic as he stared down Sirius' body, lingering on his bandages.

Even now, when he was injured and in a lot of pain, Sirius blushed, hoping that his shirtless chest looked appealing to Remus.

Remus remained silent.

Sirius decided to open his mouth. "Um...hi?"

A moment passed before Remus stomped forward. "All you can do is say 'Hi'?!"

Sirius flinched. "...yes?"

Remus rose his voice. "You nearly died, Sirius!"

Sirius shouted back. "Well I would do it all over again if I had to!"

Remus stepped back. "You would?"

Sirius took a breath. "Remus, I…I know you are Kind Beowulf."

Remus gasped. "You do?"

Sirius nodded. "Sit down."

Remus slowly sat down on the bed and faced Sirius. "I was so scared when I found out at the ball. You're my best friend, but we were fighting, so I invited Black Knight instead. But it turns out it was you."

Sirius gave a small smile. "I had the same reaction when I found out. I nearly wrecked our dorm because I thought I was so stupid. I should have known it was you all along. It was you. It was always you."

Remus tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean by 'always me'?"

Sirius hesitated, but when he looked into Remus' questioning eyes, he answered, "I...I care about you a lot, Remus."

Remus blushed. "You do?"

Sirius replied sarcastically, "No, I fall onto wooden stakes for complete strangers."

Remus pinched him and he jolted. "Ouch!"

Sirius rubbed the red spot. "No really, though."

He grabbed Remus' hand, causing him to flush even more. "I am in love with you Remus. You are kind, intelligent, thoughtful and good. And I should have listened to you when you told me to give up on revenge. I should have kept my promise that I made to you two years ago. I should have listened to you at the ball. If I had listened, your life wouldn't have been in danger last night. I should have-"

He was cut off when Remus pulled him by the hand and slammed his lips over Sirius'. Every neuron in Sirius' brain exploded as he wrapped his arms around Remus' body, trying to bring him closer and closer.

Remus had a similar response. He ran his hands through Sirius' silky black hair and moved his lips quickly over Sirius'. Even in the chill off the Hospital Wing room, he felt like his entire body was on fire.

After several minutes, Remus reluctantly pulled back. Instinctively, Sirius' arms tightened around Remus. "Don't," Sirius croaked.

Remus cupped Sirius' cheek. "I have to talk to you."

Sirius nodded, but didn't release him.

Remus took a breath before saying, "I… I am in love with you, too."

Sirius snorted. "I hope so. That was a really nice snog."

Remus tried to pinch him again. Sirius jumped. "Hey!"

Remus continued. "I knew that there was something familiar about Black Knight. I think that deep down, I knew it was you."

Remus smiled and stroked Sirius' cheek. "I am glad it was you. You have always challenged me to defy the odds, like when you asked me to dance, even though we were two men dancing. You taught me to fight and to take chances so that we can survive."

Remus held Sirius' face in his hands. "You make me want to live, Sirius Black."

Sirius pulled him in and kissed him again, his lips searing into Remus'. He pulled back a few minutes later. "You make me want to live, too, Remus Lupin."

They both grinned as they pulled each other closer, drinking in each other's lips as the sun began to rise.

* * *

 **And now you know why I have this story rated T. Sirius nearly died!**

 **Also, can someone build me a hammock between the stars? I would like to take a nap in the sky before my fingers fall off.**

 **Anyways, thank you for reading! You can check out my upload schedule on my profile page! And remember that I upload every single Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	13. Ch 13: The Investigation

**Hello! It is Thanksgiving weekend here in the United States, so I just want to ask how my American readers liked their break. Did you enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and Black Friday shopping?**

 **Anyways, I am super excited for you to dive into this chapter (as usual), but let us give thanks first!**

 **Thank you to** **BlueJay64** **and** **Wolfstar lover18** **for following my story! I glad you love it so much that you want alerts!**

 **Thank you to** **BlueJay64** **and Wolfstar lover 18 for favoring my story! It means so much that you added my story to your Favorites!**

 **And here are the reviews!**

 ***Reviews***

 **Shamelessnweird** **:** **hushhhh! Finally my puppies are together!, such a relief , hope Sirius heals soon ! and now m getting very damn excited about jily! this chapter brought me a real relief! you are awesome! LOVE LOVE**

 **Me: I love your enthusiasm every time that you review! And I am so happy that you got relief!**

 **BlueJay64** **:** **I love this fic! It's amazing! The idea about blurring prejudice, I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Lily's character is completely relatable, I can't wait to see how Jill works out. Awwwwww! WolfStar is perfect, I'm nearly swooning. The character development has been awesome so far, I loved the classroom scene, you nailed the Marauders characters. I've just gone and fav/followed everything I could, consider it massive fan appreciation; you deserve it! Thanks!**

 **Me: Thank you for the thoughtful compliments! And thank you for loving the concept of blurring prejudice, which is found in many different forms of literature. I just decided to put my own spin it.**

 **BlueJay64** **:Awww! They're so oblivious. ;P WOLFSTAR IS SO CUTE AND FLUFFY! Your writing style is also amazing, the way you've woven words into stories leaves me gaping! Thank you again!**

 **Me: I agree! They are so oblivious, and it is so funny to watch them stumbled around their attraction, but they have to be, or else the story doesn't work. It is one of the pitfalls of fiction. It can only resemble reality so much.**

 **BlueJay64** **:** **Awwww! Jily's quite cute, the AOL idea rocks (again). It's great to have James' not-so-trickster side on 'display'. I can't wait for more WolfStar; what will happen when they find out they've named their owl the same thing? I'm hoping for more fluff. Thank you so much!**

 **Me: I also like James' not-so-trickster side. It's good fun, but some authors take it to another level and turn him into a jerk, which isn't the James that I know and love.**

 **BlueJay64** **: The SHEER adorableness of Neville's Parents! It just makes their loss more unbearable... DON'T YOU DARE KILL THEM OFF! THEY'RE SO CUTE IN THIS FIC. Please! ;). WOLFSTAR ARE NUMBSKULLS SOMETIMES! aww well, it has to happen to make the plot work**

 **Me: Oh, did you just give them an idea? I am kidding! I won't kill them! I would rather chop off my fingers than do that to them.**

 **BlueJay64** **:** **I can totally see why James and Lily are perfect for each other. As always character development is totally perfect! You've done a really good job with the Anxiety bit, as a fellow anxiety-er I can totally relate to Lily. If you like, but maybe don't...here's my inner author telling me to make the character lives even more difficult... so I have really bad anxiety and that turned to cutting and it actually gave me depression, so if you were to put Lily down that path, it would add a whole lot of drama and James could show is cute protective fierce side as well. I was practically squealing when James picked Lily up so she could take care of herself... awwwwww...*sighs***

 **Me: I love your idea, but the only problem is that I don't have depression, and as a writer, I never, ever want to incorrectly display or misinterpret a mental illness and hurt someone's feelings in the process. If I am going to write about depression, I want to do it right. Maybe you could send me a private message telling me what it is like so I have a better idea?**

 **BlueJay64** **:** **Awwww! I'm swooning! WolfStar is the cutest thing that has ever happened. The way you write couples is unrivaled. Fralice is so sweet as well, Alice and Frank are just meant to be, a Fated you could say. As I warned you before, don't kill them off or you'll have to deal with a horde of angry fans, which is about as dangerous as a boiling lava pit! ;) Once again, Jily is oblivious, I'm kinda excited about their reveal, but I don't want this story to end. James is really kind in this fic and I hope I get to read him like this more often. I'm also in awe of Lily's character, she is everything the book said and more, I think I'm falling in love with her, I'd like to see James beat my Ravenclaw hexes! (Although I'll let them be...it's too bad they're so cute...) anyway, there goes my brain dump, this is one of the best fanfics I have ever read, you should think about going into writing actual books and getting them published, I know I'd read them!**

 **Me: Honestly, I love every word or all your reviews, and I would probably start ranting, but I am going to let the readers start reading before they pull out their hairs, okay? ;)**

 **Fugacity7** **:** **I look forward to seeing where you take James and Lilly. Sorry if I disappoint you but I skipped over nearly all the Remus/Sirius stuff. I just have no interest in wolfstar. It never made any sense to me.**

 **Me: Thank you for checking out my story, and I respect your decision to not shop Wolfstar. That is what I love about fan culture. We respect each other's decisions not to ship. I hope you enjoy today's chapter!**

 ***Thank you for reviewing!***

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 13: The Investigation

Morning, Saturday, October 29, 1977

It had been a week since the attack at the ball and the students were still very afraid.

Headmaster Dumbledore had indeed warned the students that there were Death Eaters at Hogwarts, and he had cautioned everyone to stay alert. He advised everyone to keep their friends close and to keep them from going to the dark side.

But it had the opposite effect. Students were more paranoid than ever, pushing their friends away rather than sticking together, in fear that the other was a Death Eater. No one know how to tell if someone was a Death Eater.

Students began to grow anxious and wary. They became impatient and worried. Even the professors were on edge.

Lily tapped her foot as she sat in her bedroom and tried to focus on the prefect's schedules. But the longer she stared at the names of the prefects, the more she was reminded that she was sending them out on patrols when there was a prominent threat at Hogwarts.

She huffed. She had to something. She was Head Girl, for Merlin's sake.

She stood up from her desk and grabbed the list of students who launched the attack during the ball. She had written the names down as they were announced at the Great Hall during dinner, when Headmaster Dumbledore had warned all the students of Death Eaters at Hogwarts.

She marched out her door and knocked on James'.

"Who is it?" He called from inside.

"It's Lily!" She shouted back.

He opened the door and a wave of his cologne hit her. She gasped as she looked at his still-wet hair and clean-shaven face. He looked as if he had just taken a shower. She tried not to look down his v-neck of his sweater, his tan skin so inviting.

"Yes?" He asked, adjusting his glasses.

Lily straightened. "I was thinking that we should launch an investigation of the students who became Death Eaters. I know that Headmaster Dumbledore doesn't want us to get involved, but we have to do something. Hogwarts is our home."

He was silent for a moment with a quirked eyebrow before saying, "Okay."

She was taken aback. "Okay? Just like that?"

He shrugged, "Lily, you're talking to a Marauder here." He gave a lazy grin, "I break the rules all the time."

He stepped out of his room and closed his door. "And I think that we should do something, too."

She nodded, a determined look on her face. "Okay, here is the list of students who became Death Eaters." She handed him the list and he scanned it.

She continued. "We can't interrogate them, obviously, since the Aurors took them to the Ministry to be tried, but that doesn't mean we can't go into their dorm and look for clues."

James nodded. "And hopefully, if we know why they became Death Eaters, then we can prevent others from becoming Death Eaters, too."

She smiled, a determined look on her face. "Exactly."

He returned her smile, and the two walked out the door.

Two hours later, both James and Lily were frustrated beyond belief. They had spent those two hours asking around for the people on their list, asking if anyone who knew at least one person on the list.

No one would say anything, in fear that they would be associated with a Death Eater, or that they would be betraying their loyalty to their friend who had become a Death Eater.

James and Lily were now on their way to Great Hall for lunch.

James growled, "They are either too loyal or too cowardly. How can we protect the students when they don't want to be protected?"

Lily sighed. "They just don't see it in that way. I wouldn't judge them too harshly. They are just acting human."

James shook his head. "If we don't figure out why those students decided to become Death Eaters, then we are never going to find out who's next, and whenever the next attack is, we'll never see it coming."

Lily put her arms around herself. She did not know how to answer him, because he was right. Without knowing any way to predict the next attack, they might as well be wizards without magic.

* * *

Remus sat next to Sirius in the Great Hall, holding hands under the table to avoid attention. He was reading a book while Sirius was eating clam chowder.

Remus shifted a glance over at Sirius and laughed out loud. Sirius was struggling to lift his right hand to put the spoon of clam chowder in his mouth, his hand shaking as he brought it closer to his mouth, drops of the chowder dripping onto the table.

Remus smiled. "What are you doing?"

Sirius furrowed his brows. "I am trying to eat."

Remus continued to laugh. "Then why is your arm shaking?"

Sirius sighed. "I am trying to eat with my right hand."

Remus tilted his head in confusion. "But you're left-handed."

Sirius nodded and grinned. "But I want to hold your hand." His thumb stroked Remus' hand, who blushed.

Remus laughed. "You know that I can just move to your other side, right?"

It was Sirius' turn to blush. He put down the spoon and scratched the back of his head with his free hand. "Oh, right."

Remus laughed and gathered his books before moving onto Sirius' right side and slipping his hand back into Sirius'.

"Better?" Remus asked.

Sirius smiled sadly. "Yes, but it would be nicer to not have to hide it."

Remus sighed. "You know we can't, at least not until after the war is over."

Sirius didn't answer, turning away to glare at his clam chowder.

Remus sighed again before a familiar red caught his eye.

He turned and saw Lily and James trudge into the room. He stretched his hand up and waved them over. As they walked over, Remus could tell that they were frustrated about something.

James and Lily plopped down into their seats tiredly, sitting across Sirius and Remus.

Remus frowned. "Are you two okay?"

Lily shook her head. "We are having a few issues investigating the Death Eaters."

Remus jerked in surprise. "You're investigating Death Eaters?"

James and Lily took turns between eating and explaining what they had been doing all morning.

When they were finished, Remus shook his head in disapproval. "You two are taking serious risks, Head students or not. What do you think that Death Eaters will do when they find that you are conducting investigations? And without Headmaster Dumbledore's permission?"

James scoffed. "The Death Eaters are going to attack, whether or not we investigate them. And you know that Headmaster Dumbledore would never let his student risk their lives. All the more reason to fight for him."

Remus opened his mouth to argue back, but Lily interjected in irritation. "Let's just forget about it. I would like to eat my lunch without thinking about another attack."

A tense silence fell over the four as they continued eating.

Sirius, who hadn't said a word throughout the entire conversation, kept opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but kept shutting it.

Lily looked up and huffed. "Spit it out, Black!"

Sirius flinched in surprise. "Um...I just wanted to say that I am sorry, Lily."

Surprise marked every face in the group.

Sirius continued, "Remus told me about what you did for him in the girl's lavatories back in 4th year."

Lily grimaced, remembering that day.

"And, I just want to thank you for being there for him when I couldn't be, and I am sorry about what I said to you the other day."

Seconds trickled by as everyone waited on Lily's reaction.

She took a heavy breath. "We both did things that were wrong, even though we thought that they were right at the time. I know that I have been difficult, and for that I apologize, as well. I hope that we can come to a better understanding now that you are dating one of my best friends."

She smiled at Remus, whose ears were red with embarrassment.

Sirius grinned at Lily. "That just might work."

Lily beamed and stretched out a hand. "Then I forgive you, Sirius Black."

He shook her hand.

The clock bells chimed, signalling the end of lunch. All of the food, plates, and utensils disappeared.

Sirius and James were the first to stand. James stated, "Sirius and I are going to Quidditch practice now."

Lily nodded and waved them farewell, but Sirius' eyes lingered on Remus', as if he wanted something. Sirius leaned in, wanting to kiss him, but Remus gave him a cautioning look. There were still people in the room.

Sirius gave a pained nod, and walked away with James.

Remus rested his face in his palm, knowing that his longing was written in his face. He turned to Lily and jerked in surprise. There was longing on her face, too!

He followed the look on her face and saw that it landed on James' back and he couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Lily twitched in surprise. "What?"

Remus laughed, "You like him!"

Lily scoffed, "I do not!"

Remus rolled his eyes playfully. "I didn't even say who 'he' was and you already knew!"

Lily 'hmphed' and turned away from Remus, trying to hide her blush.

He continued to laugh. "And you aren't denying it! Wow, I can't believe it. Wasn't it just a few months ago that you told me that you loathed him?"

Lily pursed her lips. "Maybe you should focus on your own love life before picking into mine."

Remus' laughing faded as he thought about it. The room was empty now that many of the students had left the room when lunch had ended.

Lily's face became laced with concern when she saw the look on Remus' face. "It isn't going well, is it?"

Remus shook his head. "No, it's going well, actually. I have been in love with him for such a long time, and I still can't believe he loves me back. And now I feel like our bond is so much stronger. But it's so difficult."

"What is?" Lily asked.

"Knowing that is isn't going to last!" Remus shouted. "We're two men, Lily! We have no business starting a romantic relationship, especially at the beginning of a war! And I'm a werewolf! That was the main reason why I didn't pursue a relationship with him from the start. What can I offer him? Definitely nothing that a pure-blooded witch could offer."

Remus covered his face with his hands.

Lily tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. "Did...did you tell all of these things to Sirius?"

Remus shook his head. "I tried to tell him on that night in the Hospital Wing when we confessed our love for each other. But I was just so happy that he loved me back that I couldn't say anything. I wanted him to love me so badly that I kept my mouth shut."

Remus shuddered. "But now, I have to do the right thing. I have to let him go. He is the one with a chance. A handsome, pureblood wizard with a massive fortune. And me?" Remus sighed. "I am already broken."

Lily shook her head. "Remus, don't say that about yourself. Regardless of blood or illness, you're amazing!"

Lily continued. "And I think that the right thing to do is whatever makes you happy. This is the happiest I have ever seen you. So, please don't break up with Sirius."

Remus shook his head, trying to ignore her words.

Before Lily could continue attempting to convince him, a person called out her name. "Lily?"

Lily turned to the entrance of the Great Hall to see Eleanor, a 5th year Hufflepuff prefect standing there. "Can I talk to you? It's about your investigation."

Lily looked torn between trying to talk to Remus or speaking to Eleanor about what she knew. Remus still looked away from Lily.

Ultimately, Lily chose her duty. If anyone knew anything about the Death Eaters, she had to know what.

Lily stood up and said softly, "I will speak with you later, Remus."

Remus didn't answer as Lily walked out of the room with Eleanor.

When Lily and Eleanor entered the corridor, Lily asked. "What is it that you know?"

Eleanor whispered. "I originally didn't want to say anything, but I need to know if my best friend is a Death Eater."

Lily jerked back in disbelief. "You think that you are friends with a Death Eater?"

Eleanor nodded. "And she might be one of the attackers on the night of the ball."

Lily pulled out her list. "Is her name on here?"

Eleanor nodded and pointed it out. _Tamara Prince._

Lily pursed her lips and asked, "Can I investigate her living area?"

Eleanor nodded, leading Lily to the Hufflepuff dormitories.

They descended down to the kitchens, where they stopped in front of the pile of giant barrels that would lead to the Hufflepuff dormitories. Eleanor walked up to a specific barrel and knocked on it at a specific rhythm. Its top slid open to a tunnel.

Lily rose an eyebrow, to which Eleanor answered, "Only the Hufflepuffs know which barrel to knock. There is a nasty surprise if you knock on the wrong one."

Lily smiled in amazement. "What an smart idea! We Gryffindors have a portrait lady, and all she does is complain if we forget the password."

Eleanor giggled as she continued to lead Lily down the tunnel to the Hufflepuff dormitories.

When they entered the Hufflepuff Common Room, Lily gasped. It was breathtaking. Plants covered the tables and hung from the ceiling. Honey-colored furniture sat around the room, plant stems and vines wrapped around chairs and tables. Several students sat on the sofas, knitting quilts or tending to their pet owls, cats, and frogs.

Lily twirled around. "It's beautiful in here."

Eleanor smiled. "Thank you."

The two girls walked through the door that would lead to the girl's dormitories. Eleanor stopped in front of a door.

Lily, standing behind Eleanor, asked, "Is this your dorm?"

Eleanor nodded, a little shakily.

Lily put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "I promise that if you open that door, I will find out what happened to your friend."

Eleanor took a shaky breath, nodding, and turned the knob.

She entered and stepped aside so that Lily could come in.

The layout of the dorm rooms were similar to that of the Gryffindor girls dormitories. Five canopy bed sat in a circle and a door leading to a private lavatory laid on one wall. However, the furniture followed the format of the Hufflepuff common room, with honey-colored wood and vines twirled around the poles of the bed.

Each girl's living space was neatly kept, which made beds and organized desks. All except one.

One living space had an unmade bed, with broken bottles and ripped pages scattered across the desk surface.

Lily tilted her head in the direction of the mess. "I assume that this is Tamara's living area?"

Eleanor nodded and replied softly. "Yes."

Lily turned to Eleanor and said, "Before I investigate it, can you please tell me about your friend Tamara?"

Eleanor nodded. "Yes, and you can have a seat at my desk. There is also some parchment if you need to take notes."

Eleanor sat on her bed and Lily sat at the desk adjacent to the bed.

Eleanor began to speak. "I have known Tamara ever since 1st year. When I first met her, I thought that she was the funniest and most daring girl ever. She and I became best friends when we found out that we both like the same hobbies. We shared every class and every secret together."

Eleanor took a breath. "But all that changed this year. She became distant, and she would sometime throw tantrums. I still don't know why or what bothered her. She had a tantrum on the night of the ball. That is why her living space is such a mess."

A look of stubborness overtook Eleanor's face. "I still can't believe that she would attack another student. In fact, I won't believe it until I talk to her again. She is my best friend."

Lily wrote everything down before she sighed. "As much as I wish what you said was true, one of the Death Eaters uncovered was Tamara Prince. I know you want to defend your friend, but the Aurors confirmed it was her. There was no spellwork or potion involved."

Eleanor vehemently shot back, "But Tamara couldn't have been a Death Eater. She's a half-blood!"

Lily gasped. That couldn't be possible. If what Eleanor said was true, why would Tamara helped the Death Eaters, who targeted half-bloods just as much as muggleborns.

Eleanor continued. "Her mum is a muggle, you see, but she doesn't know who her dad is."

Lily wrote the information down. "Alright, thank you, I will start investigating the area now."

Eleanor nodded. "Okay."

Lily put the parchment into a inner pocket in her robes and started searching Tamara's living area. She started with the bed, sifting through the covers, pulling pillows out of pillowcases, and holding the mattress up to look under it. She crouched down and looked under the bed. When she found nothing, she stood back up to inspect the desk.

She uncurled every crumpled parchment ball or ripped parchment sheet and read its contents. They all relayed no relevant information, many of them merely class notes or drawings. She flipped open every book, finding no secret pages or hidden items. She opened every drawer and found more pointless papers and baubles.

When she knelt down to reach the final drawer and found that it was empty, she huffed in frustration, thinking that the investigation was a fruitless endeavor. Tamara's living space showed no indication that Tamara was a Death Eater, and all the details that Eleanor provided showed that Tamara was a nice person, merely with a temper.

Lily sighed. She felt that she had learned nothing.

Before she stood up, she noticed that the bottom of the drawer was crooked. She pushed it down to straighten it, but she was met with resistance. She furrowed her eyebrows.

She felt around the drawer until she found the edges of the bottom and pulled up. Lily gasped at what she found.

Letters. Many of them.

Lily opened one letter and read it, her brows raising higher and higher as she read it. She opened another letter. It was from the same person. She read that one, too. When she opened a third letter and again found that it was from the same sender, she gathered all of the letters in her hands and assembled them into a stack.

She pocketed them and looked into the drawer. What she noticed at the very back of the drawer shocked her even more. There were several three inch tall or eight centimeter tall potions bottles.

She picked one and uncapped it. She sniffed it and immediately jerked back, not in disgust, but in familiarity. She had smelled this potion before, but where?

She took all of the tiny bottles and put them in her robes as well. She stood up and turned to Eleanor, who sat expectantly at her bed. "Well?"

Lily shook her head. "It is too soon to tell and James and I still have to look over these letters and continue the investigation of the other Death Eaters, but I think that your friend was a Death Eater."

Eleanor put her face in her hands and sobbed. "It can't be."

Lily put an arm around Eleanor. "Shh... It'll be okay. We are going to find out why your friend did this and then protect you from anyone else who becomes a Death Eater."

Eleanor nodded and sniffled.

Lily patted the girl's shoulder. "I can arrange it so that your patrol schedule for this week is less heavy, so you have time to mourn."

Eleanor whispered, "Thank you."

* * *

Evening, Saturday, October 29, 1977

That evening, James returned to his dorm and was greeted by the sight of Lily Evans laying out several letters. "What are you doing?"

Lily didn't look up as she said, "I think that I found one of the Death Eaters."

James nearly dropped his Quidditch bag. "Who?"

Lily held up a letter. "Tamara Prince."

When James had changed out of his Quidditch uniform, Lily told him everything she learned from the afternoon visit to the Hufflepuff dormitories.

"...and the contents of the letters are questionable," Lily stated, handing him one of the letters.

James rubbed his chin as he read it:

 _ **Blood is spoiled when mixed with filth. I have no desire to "make friends" with mudbloods or mudblood supporters. If you align yourself with filth, don't waste your ink. Dirty blood deserves no companion.**_

 _ **Bloody Rose**_

James shook his head. It was unbelievable that people had such insane beliefs.

Lily handed him another letter. "And look at this."

 _ **Dear puppylover,**_

 _ **I am sorry to hear about the argument that you had with your mother. She is just a muggle, and they are as competent as dirt.**_

 _ **But don't worry. Once we find him, you'll be free from your cursed fate.**_

 _ **Bloody Rose**_

James furrowed his brow in confusion.

Lily nodded in understanding. "I know, right? Two different letters in two different tones, but from the same person. How can that be possible?"

James nodded. "And who is the 'he' they are talking about?"

Lily shrugged tiredly.

He pointed to the potions bottle she laid out. "And how are we going to find out what was in those bottles?"

Lily opened a potions book. "We are just going to have to do research."

James groaned but pulled a chair up next to her. "Okay, fine."

He pushed his chair so close to her that she knew if she turned to look at him, their lips would meet. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt him lean closer to see the pages of the book.

"Lily?"

She was jerked out her thoughts. "Yes?"

James gave her a confused look. "Do you know what ingredient this is?" He pointed at a picture.

Lily sighed. This investigation was going to be a long one, and it was not because she didn't know why Tamara Prince decided to become a Death Eater, but because she did not know how to stop the thudding in her heart whenever James Potter was near.

* * *

Morning, Sunday, October 30, 1977

Alice and Frank walked hand-in-hand through the halls. They were making their way to Headmaster Dumbledore's office. He had the only fireplace connected to the Floo network, and Frank had to return to his Auror training.

"Alice, love, I am not sure I am comfortable with you staying here," Frank started to say.

She turned to him as they rounded a corner. "What do you mean?"

Frank looked around. "Hogwarts used to be the safest place for students to go to learn magic. But even that isn't true anymore."

Alice gripped his fingers tighter. "Frank, nowhere is safe anymore. We just have to be ready for the next attack."

He kissed her forehead, wishing that what she said wasn't true. Nowhere was safe anymore.

He mumbled. "I just wish that I could take you far away from everything."

She sighed. "That wouldn't be Gryffindor-like of us. And fate must have a plan for us."

Frank laughed and shook his head. "You and your fate."

She giggled with him.

The two stopped in front of Headmaster Dumbledore's office.

Alice called out, "Sugar quill."

The staircase appeared and the two began to climb. Slowly, they reached the top of the stairs and opened the door. The office was empty when they entered. Headmaster Dumbledore decided to give the two privacy during their farewell.

Alice noticed that a small pouch was laid on Headmaster Dumbledore's desk with Frank names on it. She opened it and saw that there was Floo powder inside. Only enough for one person.

Tears threatened to burn her eyes.

Frank rubbed her back. "It will only be for a little while. We can still send letters every day and I will still see you for New Year's Eve."

Alice turned around and wrapped her arms around him. "It's not enough."

Frank buried his face in her hair. "We'll make it enough."

Alice nodded and the two turned to the fireplace.

Frank turned back to her. "I know that you still want to contact that Half-Blood Prince person." He gripped her forearms. "Promise me that you won't do anything reckless."

Alice played with his fingers and wouldn't meet his eyes. "I promise."

He gave her one final, desperate kiss. Her hands slipped through his hair and tightened as she pressed closer to him, hoping to prolong the moment as long as possible.

He pulled away reluctantly, kissing her forehead and turning to the fireplace with the Floo powder in hand.

He stepped into it and turned to look at her. He gave her a small wave and a half-smile.

She smiled back, returning his wave.

He stretched his arm out and shouted, "Department of Magical Law Enforcement!"

He threw the powder down and Alice stepped back as he was engulfed in green flames.

When the fireplace was empty, Alice gave a heavy sigh and turned away.

She tried to forget the promise she made to Frank because she was going to do something so reckless that she was sure that even the thought of it would give Frank a heart attack.

She pulled out letter.

 _ **Dear Half-Blood Prince,**_

 _ **I am sure that you've heard about the attack at the AOL ball a week ago. It was a Death Eater attack, and I know that you have something to do with it. Meet me at Hog's Head on Friday, November 4, the day of the next Hogsmeade visit. We will meet at 7 pm, after all of the students return to the castle.**_

 _ **And put on a mask. I won't reveal your identity if you don't reveal mine.**_

 _ **Destiny's Dove**_

Alice sighed. She hoped that this 'Half-Blood Prince' person will show up, and she hoped that she wasn't being stupid.

 _For Frank,_ she told herself. He could have died that night of the ball. She wasn't going to stand idly by anymore. This had to be her fate.

* * *

 ***screams* Ahhhhhhhhh!**

 **What's going to happen next? What will happen when Alice meets the Half-Blood Prince? How is Lily going to manage her feelings for James? What about Wolfstar? I need to know!**

 ***coughs and reminds self that I already know* That makes me feel a little bit better. But you know what would make me feel amazing? You enjoying what I have been writing and reading the next chapter!**

 **Thank you so much for reading and remember that I upload every Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	14. Ch 14: Happenings in Hogsmeade

**Hello!**

 **I am so sorry for uploading late. This week has been so hectic. I have so many things going on and it just keeps piling on!**

 **Also, I realized I made a mistake in the last chapter. The Hogsmeade visit is on Saturday, November 5, not Friday, November 4, okay?**

 **I am just going to give thanks so you can get back to reading.**

 **Thank you to** **MinaWe** **and** **Bluewave9511** **for following my story! It means to world!**

 **Thank you to** **MinaWe** **and** **Bluewave9511** **for favoring my story! I am so grateful that you love it!**

 **Thank you to my reviewers!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **Shamelessnweird** **:** **Wow! Exactly the same questions! Btw love that wolfstar scene, siri is so cute...Hope Lils n James get together soon...Excited for next update**

 **Me: And, as usual, I am excited for you to read this! Thanks so much for all the compliments I get from you every week!**

 **Wolfstar lover18** **:** **Omg that cliffhanger! Great chapter can't wait until we can see what happens, and more of James and Lily of course. How many chapters were you hoping to write to complete the story?**

 **Me: Right now, I have a plan for 25 chapters, and it might go to 30 chapters, but 35 is the maximum for me.**

 **Anonymous: I NEED MORE**

 **Me: Coming right up!**

 **Bluewave9511: Love this story alot :) Very enjoyable and love the characters! Keep going!**

 **Me: Thank you so much! And thanks for the encouragement to keep going!**

 ***Thanks for reviewing!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: I do not own these characters or settings. J. K. Rowling used her fantastic mind to come up with them. On the other hand, I used my mind to come up with the plot.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 14: A Winter Hogsmeade Visit

Evening, Friday, November 4, 1977

James sighed as he walked in to his bedroom and shut the door.

He and Lily had been completely overwhelmed with classes, Head duties, and the investigation. Not to mention that James was still Quidditch captain, often leaving Lily to organize prefect schedules by herself.

He sat on his bed, untied his shoes and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes.

Just as his eyelids drooped and he felt his muscles slacken, he was startled awake at a clicking noise at his window.

He groaned as he put his glasses back and stood up to unlatch the window. Matilda squawked as she flew in, dropping the letter on his desk.

He slumped into his chair and wearily untied it.

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **I apologize for not contacting you sooner. The last time we spoke was at the ball. I am sorry that I didn't send you a letter sooner asking if you are alright. Please send me a letter as soon as possible so that I know that you are alright.**_

 _ **Also, I want to thank you for helping me on the night of the ball. With my anxiety. I know that all you did was calm me down and distract me, but it is more than a lot of people have ever done. I know that you said that you hate that you are judged for being immature, but you are actually so mature and kind. It's a side of you that you've kept hidden for most of your life, but I have gotten to know it over the past few months and I think that it is your best side.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James smiled, blushing. She was actually sending him a letter asking if he was okay. He knew that it probably meant nothing, and she probably asked that to all her friends who were affected by the attack at the ball. But he couldn't help but feel warm inside.

He was flattered by her compliments. Sure, he received compliments all the time from his parents, his friends, and, of course, the ladies trying to woo him so that they could be next in the Potter ancestry. But Emerald Flower didn't know that he was James Potter. She didn't know that he belonged to one of the top wealthiest families in the wizarding world. She just knew...him. Without all those other titles.

His eyes drifted over to Lily's photo by his desk. She was the only other girl who had ever known him as just James Potter. But why didn't his heart flutter for her anymore?

He picked up Lily's photo in one hand, and held Emerald Flower's hand in the other.

Could it be possible that Emerald Flower, who was so very similar to Lily, had stolen his heart?

* * *

Lily's eyes darted to the door of the adjoining bathroom that she shared with James as she heard him enter it from his room.

She sat up at the edge of her bed, her hands on her knees and her eyes looking at her feet. Her hands drifted to her forearms, where his fingers had touched her as they leaned in-

 _Stop it!_ A voice in her head told her. _He's probably moved on! You missed your chance months ago!_

But oh, how she wanted to. She cursed her stubbornness as she imagined what they might have been like if she had just said yes at least once. Would they have gone on hot chocolate dates in Hogsmeade, or snuck into broom cupboards to snog? Would they have studied together in the library only to throw flirty banter back and forth, forgetting their studies? Would they have spent lazy, sunny days laying on blankets by the lake and cuddled under wool blankets next the fireplace on wintery nights?

A clicking noise at her window interrupted her thoughts.

She shivered as Matilda flew in, the winter chill following her.

She plucked and untied the letter.

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **I made it out of the ball just fine, thanks. How are you? It's my turn to apologize for not asking if you were okay.**_

 _ **And you don't have to thank me. I wanted to help you. You just have to relax. The only thing that matters is the present. The past hurts and the future is scary, but at least for now, we can stop worrying for a little bit.**_

 _ **I really enjoy talking to you. If you ever need any help, I am here.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

She smiled. Loyal Lion was always doing this, showing her the sweet side that no one ever saw.

She heard James re-enter his room. She huffed and decided she was going to put her stubbornness to good use. Loyal Lion was right. She needed to stop worrying. The possibility was too much to ignore.

She stood up and smoothed her clothes before walking out her door to knock on James'.

He took a few seconds to open the door and Lily took those seconds to rein in her Gryffindor courage.

When he opened the door, she blurted out, "Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?"

James rose an eyebrow and Lily nearly choked on her breath.

But then he grinned and answered, "Yes, I think us going as friends would be great!"

Lily's shoulders slumped. "W-what?"

James replied, not noticing her devastation, "Since Sirius and Remus are dating now, they are probably going to go together, and Peter said he was too tired, I can go with you."

Lily stood frozen in silence and all she could squeak out was, "Okay."

Then she turned and stiffly walked back to her room, her head down and her face red.

When she closed her door, she pinched the bridge of her nose.

 _That was a waste of time,_ the voice in her head told her.

She sighed but she wasn't going to lose hope.

* * *

Morning, Saturday, November 5, 1977

Sirius took one look at the calendar and shot up out of bed. He grinned and did a silent, joyful dance. Today was the day of his and Remus' first Hogsmeade trip as a couple. Sirius had a very elaborate date planned out, even more elaborate than their pranks.

He looked to the sleeping form of his boyfriend. He smiled and walked over to sit at the edge of Remus' bed. He lightly shook Remus. "Hey, wake up."

Remus, who had fallen asleep the night before reading, clutched a book closer to his chest as he groaned, "It's too early."

Sirius gently pried the book out of Remus' hands. "But we have to go to Hogsmeade for our date!"

Remus, with his still closed, tried to pull the blankets over his head. "We can't. People are going to see us."

Sirius scoffed. "Who cares?" He sighed as Remus burrowed further into the bed.

"Remus…" he drawled, crawling over Remus' body and pulling the sheets back, peppering kisses on Remus' neck and face, "I want to spend the day with my boyfriend."

Remus leaned into the kisses and gave a little gasp when Sirius nibbled on his ear. "Don't you want to just cuddle here?"

Sirius pulled back and gave Remus a determined look. "No, I want to take you out and treat you to a real date."

Remus sighed. Sirius wasn't going to give up. "Okay, but only we don't have any public displays-"

Sirius nodded.

"- and only if you keep kissing me."

Sirius grinned, and leaned down to capture his lips with Remus', whose arms reached up to wrap around Sirius' neck. Remus groaned as Sirius' lips moved over his, sending his skin aflame.

Sirius' sucked on Remus' bottom lip, causing Remus to gasp in surprise. Sirius grinned and began to leave a trail of wet kisses along Remus' jaw and down his neck. He settled on a spot and began to suck.

Remus gasped out, "We have to go or else we'll miss the carriages."

Sirius pulled back, his lips swollen. "Right."

They shared one last lingering kiss before dressing quickly. As Sirius was pulling on a sweater, Remus was tying a scarf around his neck when he asked, "Do I look good?"

Sirius didn't look at Remus' outfit when he walked up to Remus and kissed his lips. "You always look good."

Remus' face was still blushing when they left to find the Great Hall for a quick breakfast.

When they finally reached the village, Remus asked, giddy with excitement, "So what marevelous date do you have planned for us?"

Sirius grinned. "Only one thing at a time. For the first activity, we are going to...Tomes and Scrolls!"

Remus tilted his head in confusion. "But you hate bookshops."

Sirius tapped a gloved finger on Remus. "And you love them. Let's go!"

Sirius started to pull Remus in the direction of the shop when Remus said, "We can't hold hands."

Sirius whined, "But-"

Remus shook his head. "We can't."

Sirius sighed, but started to walk side by side with Remus to the bookshop.

Their spirits were quickly raised when they entered the bookshop, which was completely empty, with only a kind-looking woman shelving books on one side of the shop.

Remus smiled, slipping his hand into Sirius' and dragging him around the shop, marvelling at books and picking ones that intrigued him. Sirius laughed as he tried to balance them all under one arm as they continued to wander around the shop.

* * *

Lily walked uncomfortably next to James as they walked around Hogsmeade.

James broke the silence by asking, "So what do you want to do?"

 _I want to pull you into a private booth at Three Broomsticks and snog,_ Lily thought bitterly.

She answered, not meeting his eyes, "Oh...anything you want to do."

James rose an eyebrow. "But you asked to spend the day together. You must have had some idea about what we were going to do today."

 _I had so many ideas,_ Lily thought glumly to herself.

Lily replied, "Um...well...since it is that last Hogsmeade visit before winter break, so I think that we should go Christmas shopping."

James snapped his fingers. "Oh, right, I almost forgot! I have to get Mum a present! Thanks for reminding me. Let's go then!"

James grabbed Lily's wrist and pulled her to a shop and her heart fluttered as she thought, _Oh Merlin he's touching me. This is the best day ever._

The two spent the day bouncing from shop to shop, buying presents for their loved ones. They popped into Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop so Lily could to buy something for her Remus. They visited J. Pippin's Potions so that she could purchase something for her parents. They swung by Zonko's Joke Shop so James could find something for Sirius and Remus.

They even went into Honeydukes to share a box of chocolates. Lily laughed as James tried to prove that he could throw three pieces into the air and catch them in his mouth. He threw them up and before they could hit his mouth, Lily playfully shoved him and the chocolates smacked his glasses instead. People glanced as they saw a girl with red hair run out of Honeydukes laughing as a boy with black hair and glasses ran out after her.

It was midday when they both realized that they still had to buy presents for each other.

Lily teased, "I am going to go and buy your present before you try to stick your nose into it."

James laughed. "I am a Marauder. I'll find out before you even have time to bring it back to the castle."

She laughed and waved goodbye. "Try me. Meet me back at the castle."

He grinned and waved back, turning to try and find Lily a present. He walked around for several minutes before deciding to go back to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop to buy something for her and for his mother as well.

Finally, Emerald Flower was the only one he still had to buy a present. He sighed and racked his brain. He already knew so many things about her, like how she only liked hot chocolate if there was a generous dollop of whip cream on top and she didn't like pumpkin juice because she thought it tasted funny. He knew she was amazing at Charms and Potions but absolutely abhorred Transfiguration.

But he hadn't asked her about her past boyfriends yet. Did she even have any? What did she like in a bloke? What kind of gift would make her fall madly in love with him?'

James scratched his head as he trudged through in the snowy village, passing by several shops after deeming they weren't good enough. Half an hour later, he sat on a bench ready to give up.

Lily, on the other hand, had been very successful. She had visited Spintwitches Sporting Needs to buy both James and Loyal Lion something because she knew that they were both passionate about Quidditch. She perked up when she saw James stand up from the bench that and walked towards a new shop.

She stopped abruptly and rose her eyebrows. He was walking into a jewelry shop. _Why would he walk in there? Is he buying something for a girl?_

Lily ran to the shop but didn't enter. She didn't want James to know she followed him. She slid under a window and peeked up.

Inside, James walked around the lit displays of rings and bracelets. She saw him visibly sigh and turn to head to the exit when he passed by a display of a necklace. He signalled the lady who worked in the shop to open the glass lid and Lily gasped.

It was a silver necklace with a small emerald heart.

Lily's eyes were wide with shock. Could it be possible that James was buying this necklace for her? James knew that emerald green was her color. And it was a heart! He must be in love with her again!

She internally squealed as she saw him exchange words with lady, nod, and pay for the necklace.

He then turned to exit the shop.

Lily scrambled away from the window and stood up, walking in the direction of the castle, trying to make it look like she was heading in that direction on purpose.

"Lily!"

She turned around and gave him a nervous smile. "Oh, hi! I was just looking for you so that we could meet back in our dorm!" She cursed her overly cheeriness that she knew sounded fake.

James raised an eyebrow but shrugged. "Okay, we can go together now."

The two walked back to the castle, not knowing that Lily thought that the necklace was for her.

* * *

Remus and Sirius were still in the bookshop hours later, sitting on the floor in a corner. Sirius's back was against the wall and Remus sat with his back against Sirius' chest and between Sirius' legs. Around their legs, books were laid open on the floor. Remus would read out loud to Sirius, who would occasionally kiss Remus' neck.

Remus smiled as Sirius bent down to lay another kiss on his neck. "I am happy that this shop is still empty."

Sirius smiled against Remus' skin. "I have never been so grateful for your reading addiction until now."

Remus laughed and said, "I wish we could stay longer, but I am starting to get hungry."

Sirius grinned. "Then let me treat you to the best meal of your life!"

Remus laughed as they made their purchases and left the bookshop. Sirius pulled him in the direction of Three Broomsticks when Remus pulled back.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

Remus answered, "Three Broomsticks is always crowded. Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Sirius shrugged. "There aren't going to be any empty restaurants at this time of day."

Remus was silent for a moment until he said quietly. "There is one."

Sirius nodded for him to continue. Remus replied, "Hog's Head is always empty."

"No! I am not taking you to that dirty, old shack of a bar!" Sirius barked. "We are on a date, and I am going to treat you right. We are going to Three Broomsticks."

Remus' shoulders sagged. "Hog's Head is the only place where we won't be seen."

Sirius tried to grab Remus' hand, but Remus jerked back. Sirius gave a frustrated growl. "Why won't you let me touch you?"

Remus shook his head. "We can't! People are going to see!"

Sirius shouted back, "Then let them see! I don't give a _fuck_ about what they say! I love you!"

Remus whimpered back. "You aren't allowed to."

Sirius took a shaky breath. "But I do."

Tears began to slip down Remus' face. "You shouldn't. I'm not good enough. I'm-"

Sirius' clenched his fist. "Just because you are a half-blood and I am a pure-blood? So? I don't care! I still love you!"

Remus shouted, "Because I'm a monster!"

Sirius stood frozen, with his eyes wide and mouth open.

Remus shook as he shouted, "I'm a monster, Sirius! I can become the most hideous creature on the face of the earth. I could kill you one day!"

Remus turned away. "And you deserve better."

Sirius took a desperate breath. "No, please-"

Remus couldn't look at Sirius when he said, "We can't be together anymore."

Sirius staggered towards Remus. "No-"

Remus shook as he disapparated, leaving Sirius to fall on his knees in the snow.

* * *

The sun was setting as Alice darted through Hogsmeade to make it Hog's Head. All the students and professor who had visited the village for the day were back at the castle, most likely preparing for dinner.

For Alice's case, she was going to have dinner elsewhere tonight.

When she reached the door, she tried to calm her breathing. She pulled out her wand and held it defensibly in front of her.

Silently, she pulled the door open and slipped inside.

Alice wrinkled her nose. The most off-putting thing about the bar was the smell. It smelt of old alcohol and rat droppings. Even to confirm it, a rat ran by an empty bottle of alcohol on the floor before slipping into a crevice in the wall.

Other than that, there was a bar on the left side of the room and tables and chairs throughout the rest of the remaining space.

She was alone except for a boy with long dark hair, black robes, and a simple grey mask on his face. He was sitting at a table on the far side of the room.

She pointed her wand to him. "Identify yourself."

Surprising her, he answered with no resistance. "Half-Blood Prince."

She tried to hide the surprise in her voice when she answered. "And I am Destiny's Dove."

She dared to walk closer to him. He didn't even look at her. Instead, he stared out the window sadly.

Alice furrowed her brows. Why was he so...melancholy? He was much more angry in the letter. What changed?

Alice stopped right in front of him, her want centimeters from his face. "Tell me what you know about what happened the night of the ball."

Half-Blood Prince turned back at her and said plainly, "It's hopeless."

Alice gripped her wand tighter. "So you do know something."

Half-Blood Prince shrugged. "It doesn't matter. They are too strong."

Alice lowered her wand in confusion. "They?"

Half-Blood Prince answered. "The ones who did it."

Alice's eyebrows knitted together. "No, the ones that did it were captured."

Half-Blood Prince shook his head. "There are more. There will be more."

Alice huffed. "How do you know all of this? Where are you getting your information?"

Half-Blood Prince was silent for a long moment before he answered, "That's confidential."

Alice scoffed. "People are going to die if you don't tell me!"

Half-Blood Prince shrugged. "People are going to die even if I tell you. They are too powerful. We can't fight them."

Alice stomped her foot in frustration and shouted, "Then you are a coward!"

Alice turned away and said quietly to herself. "I'm sorry, Frank, Marlene, Lily…"

Alice began to walk away when Half-Blood Prince said, "The attackers at the ball didn't want to do it."

Alice whirled. "What?"

Half-Blood Prince stood up and said, "They aren't doing it of their own free will, at least not entirely. That is all I want to say."

He pulled out his wand and said, "And I didn't want to send you that letter. I was forced to."

And then he disapparated, leaving Alice with more questions than answers.

* * *

 **And then the author finished writing the chapter, leaving the readers with more questions than answers.**

 **Again, I apologize for uploading late. I have finals exams, work, and this story to juggle, so this was a little late.**

 **Also before you go, I have to tell you about a new project that I am doing. I am going to challenge myself by writing a oneshot every single day starting on December 23, 2018 and ending on January 4, 2019. I am calling it my "Winter of Oneshots!" I will be writing Harry Potter oneshots, along with ones for Percy Jackson, A Court of Thorns and Roses, and Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir! If you haven't heard of these fandoms, I encourage you to look into them! They are amazing! And if you have, I encourage you to read my oneshots! I posted the upload schedule on my profile! Check it out!**

 **Thank you for reading and remember that I upload every Saturday*!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	15. Ch 15: Pain and Pleasure in Ink

**Hello!**

 **You guys are going to hate me for this chapter...so let's just jump into it!**

 **Before you descend into hell, let me give thanks!**

 **Thank you to** **AKBookGirl** **,** **Doorsi Pistole** **,** **Kgfhchick** **,** **OfficialFangirlingNerd** **and** **xJamie . k** **for following! I am so happy to have you join the family!**

 **Thank you to** **AKBookGirl** **for adding my story to your favorites! So happy that you enjoyed the story so much to favorite it!**

 **Thank you for my reviewers for my last chapter!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **Shamelessnweird** **:** **woahhhhhh , silly remy,cmon ur most cute guy rem, don't brkup with Siri! n the meeting btwn alice n hbp that was most interesting part... n Lily silly! jily are really cute . like just imagining what if the necklace is for emerald flower n lily wears it n she knows who is loyal lion...oh my merlin now m dieing to know what happens next! love itt**

 **Me: Again, thank you for coming back! Also, I agree with all your thoughts! Remus needs to understand how important he is. And Jily is super cute!**

 **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged** **:** **PLEASE CONTINUE! THIS IS AMAZING!**

 **Me: Hi! So glad that you are still here! Thank you for the compliment. And it my plan to see this story out until the end.**

 **BlueJay64** **:** **Oh my goodness! This is the best chapter yet! I feel like you really got to see all the characters, almost, mature side. We hadn't really seen any kissing before here, so it's been ineteresting and new. OH NO! Lily saw the necklace... she'll guess he's loyal lion... I'm surprised that James has gotten over her! Well, unknowingly he hasn't, but you get what I mean. It's so sweet and fluffy. I cannot physically wait until next weeeeeeeeeeeek!**

 **Me: Thanks for saying that it was the best chapter yet! Here is another one! And I appreciate the writing feedback that you have been giving me. So happy that you are reading.**

 **AKBookGirl** **:** **Just a collection of thoughts after finishing this chapter. So, Lily should figure things out when Emerald Flower gets her Christmas present. I am very mad at Remus for doubting himself and his worth, especially in Sirius' eyes, so much. I thought that letter from the Half Blood Prince seemed like a form letter of sorts, and then when the Hufflepuff Death Eater girl got the same thing I was sure of it. Too many questions, though a few things are starting to be answered. Well done; I look forward to the next chapter.**

 **Me: You have so many great thoughts and questions and I am going to try to address them all. Welcome again to my story!**

 ***Thank you for the reviews!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns everything, down to the last chocolate frog. However, I own the plot.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 15: Pain and Pleasure in Ink

Morning, Sunday, November 6, 1977

Silver utensils clanged against plates and bowls as students chatted in the Great Hall during breakfast. The waft of warm, buttery biscuits and sweet cinnamon buns floated in the air, but Remus Lupin was not at all enticed by the aromas.

It had only been yesterday when he had lost the love of his life.

He sat there, stirring his oatmeal, which was bland and, at this point, cold.

He was also quite tired.

Yesterday, he hadn't wanted to bother Lily by staying in her room again (although he knew she wouldn't mind). In fact, he didn't even tell Lily because he knew she would try to get him back together with Sirius.

So he went back to his dormitory after he left Sirius in Hogsmeade and proceeded to cry into his pillow.

And then Sirius arrived and tried to talk to him, but Remus wouldn't listen. The entire night was spent either trying to fend off Sirius' advances or trying to sleep through the thick tension in their bedroom.

Remus sighed and rubbed his temples and looked down at his sad bowl of oatmeal.

He watched the spoon sink down under the mushy surface before picking up his books and leaving the table.

He got to the entrance of the Great Hall when he bumped into a very familiar chest.

"Moony!"

Remus looked up painfully into his grey eyes.

Sirius's expression was desperate. "Please, let's talk about this."

Remus shook his head and sidestepped, walking out of the Great Hall and away from Sirius.

* * *

Noon, Sunday, November 6, 1977

Lily sighed dreamily, thoughts of a certain dark-haired boy floating in her mind. Was it just yesterday that she found out James was still in love with her?

She was walking up the stairs that led to the owlery.

The wind whipped through her red hair as she ascended.

She needed to send a letter to Loyal Lion.

She needed his advice. She wanted to be with James, but she was scared. She was afraid of failing.

What if she was a bad girlfriend? What if she forgot all the important dates, like birthdays or anniversaries? What if she didn't give him enough attention? What if she didn't know when was the right time to kiss him or ask to meet his mother? How soon was too soon?

She made it up the final steps and entered the owlery.

Owls cawed and squawked when they noticed her entered, and two owls swooped down to meet her.

Lily smiled as Matilda and Ruby flew down and perched at the water bowl in the center of the room.

She stroked Ruby's chin before fishing out her letter for Loyal Lion.

She patted Matilda's head and placed the letter between her beak.

Lily smiled and said, "Make sure that he writes back as soon as he gets it!"

Matilda ruffled her wings before spreading them and flying out of the owlery.

* * *

Remus sighed.

He stood in his dormitory, contemplating whether or not he should go to the library. On one hand, going to the library meant that he would be able to avoid Sirius and find a book to read. But on the other hand, he was quite tired and didn't want to walk all the way to the library. And he already had plenty of books in his dormitory.

His bed did look very inviting. He finally decided that he would remain in the dorm, as long as Sirius didn't try to talk to him.

He crawled under the covers of his bed and opened a book.

Just as he was dozing off, he heard the creak of a door opening. Remus jolted awake to see Sirius entering the room.

Remus braced himself for Sirius to start talking, but Sirius merely went to his own desk and minded his own business.

Remus scrunched his eyebrows together in suspicion. What was that boy planning?

Remus returned to his book only to be interrupted by a clicking at his window.

He yawned, slipping out of bed to open the window, only to be surprised when Frederick flew in with a letter between his beak.

Remus rose an eyebrow and turned to Sirius, who tried and failed to look busy.

Remus sighed and decided to indulge him.

He untied and opened the letter to read:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **It has been too long since we last spoke. I have the best news to tell you though.**_

 _ **I am in love with the man of my dreams. And for a short time, we were together. Just yesterday, he and I spent the day in Hogsmeade. Sadly, he broke up with me.**_

 _ **How can I show him how much he means to me and how we belong together?**_

 _ **Yours,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

Remus scratched his head. What was Sirius trying to do with these letters?

He pulled out some parchment and began to write a reply letter.

He tied it and put the parchment between Frederick's beak and watched as Sirius received a clicking sound at his own window.

Sirius opened the window and rushed to untie the letter, almost ripping the parchment.

It read:

 _ **Dear Black Knight,**_

 _ **I think that you should leave him alone. Maybe he is protecting you from regretting your decision of trying to be with him.**_

 _ **And I am quite certain that there is someone out there who would be a much better fit for you than the man who broke up with you yesterday.**_

 _ **Kind regards,**_

 _ **Kind Beowulf**_

Sirius wrinkled his nose in dismay, but he was determined to keep trying.

He wrote another letter and gave it to Frederick, who flew out his window to click on Remus' window.

Remus gave Sirius a disapproved look before opening the window and taking the letter from Frederick.

It read:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **I don't think you get it.**_

 _ **There is no one out there like him. He is kind and selfless. He is so smart and thoughtful. He always looks for the light in people, even in the darkness in me. There is no one else for me but him.**_

 _ **He is my best friend. I love him.**_

 _ **Yours,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

Remus' heart ached. He knew that Sirius thought all of these things about him, but there were so many other people who were kind and intelligent who could give Sirius the life he deserved.

He wrote another letter for Black Knight.

Sirius could already tell by Remus' expression that he hadn't convinced him, so he wasn't surprised when he received the letter and it said:

 _ **Dear Black Knight,**_

 _ **It is really sweet that you think all of those things about him, but there are other people who share those qualities that are better for you.**_

 _ **And maybe you should stop trying to be with him. Maybe he is trying to avoid you so that you can move on and find someone better. And maybe you are hurting him every time you try to get close.**_

 _ **You just have to accept that you have to find someone better for you.**_

 _ **Kind regards,**_

 _ **Kind Beowulf**_

Sirius looked up painfully at Remus, who hid his face in a book.

Sirius had to make one final attempt.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose when he heard Frederick at his window yet again.

He clicked his tongue in irritation when he opened the window and plucked the letter.

It read:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **There will never be anyone else in the entire world that I will love more than him.**_

 _ **Do you know how long I have loved him? Waited for him? Wondered if he even thought of me in the way that I think of him?**_

 _ **Do you want to know the moment that I knew that I was in love with him? It was back in 2nd year when he confessed to me that he was a werewolf, and that is when I knew. I thought that he was the strongest and bravest person in the whole world. I still think that.**_

 _ **He doesn't know it, but him being a werewolf is one of the best parts about him. Every single month, he goes through the pain of the transformation, and I am in awe of how strong he is. He isn't bitter and he doesn't complain about it. He accepts that he is a werewolf and that there isn't anything that he can do to change it but to live the best life that he can. He is optimistic and always thinks of others, even if he is hurting on the inside.**_

 _ **I don't think that he should be ashamed of his lycanthropy. In my eyes, I am proud of how strong the trials of the transformations have made him.**_

 _ **His strength gives me strength.**_

 _ **All my love,**_

 _ **Your Black Knight**_

Remus took shaky breaths and looked up at Sirius, who stared back with searching eyes.

"Did you mean it?" Remus asked, eyes glistening.

Sirius nodded. "Every word."

He jumped up from his seat, crossed the room, and pulled Remus to him, kissing him so hard that their teeth accidentally banged together.

But Remus didn't care, his arms reaching up to wrap around Sirius' neck, desperately clinging onto him. His fingers' tangled into Sirius' hair, grabbing and tightening, never wanting to let go ever again.

Sirius crushed Remus' body as close to his as he could, never wanting that space to exist between them ever again. He greedily kissed Remus, his fingers clenched in Remus' shirt and lips moving over Remus' lips like he was his life force.

Remus jumped up to wrap his legs around Sirius' waist and Sirius carried them blindly to Remus' bed and they collapsed on it, lips still connected.

Sirius moved to kiss Remus' cheeks, forehead, nose, and eyelids. Remus began to cry.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, concerned.

Remus smiled sadly. "I am just so in love with you."

Sirius smiled and kissed the tears away. "Me, too."

Sirius kissed him again before moving onto his back so he could hold Remus to his side.

Remus nuzzled his cheek into Sirius' side and they lay in comfortable silence, the only sound being Frederick's caws.

It was silent until Remus started to laugh.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

Remus grinned. "Can you believe that we named our AOL owl the same name and didn't figure out who the other was?"

Sirius' face broke out into a grin and he too started to laugh.

* * *

James lay sprawled on the sofa in the Head's common room, a dopey grin on his face. He was thinking of the emerald eyes that entrapped him on the night of the ball.

He laid one arm behind his head and other holding the emerald heart necklace. He held it up so that it sparkled in the light.

It had only been a short amount of time since they first sent letters to each other and he was already infatuated.

It was more than he wanted to admit, but Emerald Flower reminded him of Lily, only more open and sincere about her problems.

Lily, on the other hand, was more playful and teasing, but she seemed to hide behind it. She hadn't talked to him about the fainting incident since it happened, and he hadn't brought it up out of respect for her.

Even though Lily and him were friends now, there was still this wall between them. And he didn't know what it was.

At least, with Emerald Flower, he had a chance.

He sat up on the sofa and decided that he didn't want to waste another moment. He was going to confess to Emerald Flower about his feelings towards her.

He took a piece of the spare parchment that he and Lily left on the tables in the common room and tried to write.

 _ **I am in love with you.**_

He reread it and then frowned. It sounded too direct. It might scare her away.

He rolled it up into a ball and started to write again on a new piece of parchment.

 _ **I think about you all the time.**_

James' eyes widened. This was even worse. He sounded like a wanker. This would definitely scare her away.

He let out a frustrated huff. He was going to get this right. He grabbed a new piece of parchment.

After several minutes, he finally wrote some decent sentences.

 _ **Over the past few months, I have really enjoyed sending the AOL letters with you. You are one of the only people that I have talked to that have seems real. And over these past few months, I have to say that I have grown to really like you. A lot.**_

 _ **For starters, you are really beautiful, even though I couldn't see you under the mask, and you understand me. I think that I have accidentally told you all my fears and dreams because you are easy to talk to.**_

 _ **I would like us to become more than friends. I bought you a necklace that I will put in the letter to show my affection. I was going to wait until Christmas to give it to you, but now is as a good a time than ever.**_

 _ **And...I want you to know my real name so you know what you are walking into. My name is James Potter. You might have heard of my name in the news.**_

 _ **But that doesn't matter. I really like you, so please consider this proposal: Will you be my girlfriend?**_

 _ **James Potter**_

James shrugged. It sounded pretty good to him.

He was about to address it to Emerald Flower at the top of the letter when a clicking noise on the common room windows.

He looked up and immediately brightened. It was Matilda, which mean that Emerald Flower had sent him a letter!

And it wasn't even on a day that he had written to her first. She must be thinking about him!

He whipped open the window and grabbed the letter before Matilda had even flown in.

He tore open the letter and read it:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **I have the most amazing news!**_

 _ **I am in love!**_

 _ **He's handsome, and funny, and surprisingly mature. You and him would get along, I am sure of it. You both like Quidditch and Transfiguration. One day, maybe I can introduce you to him.**_

 _ **Now, I am not just telling you this just to tell you. I need your advice. You know how anxious I get. I want to ask him out, but I am really scared. What if I am a bad girlfriend? Should I even ask him?**_

 _ **Write to me soon!**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

James felt like a Bludger had just hit him in the gut. She was in love? With someone else?

And she spoke as if she had been in love with him for a long time. Was she in love with this mysterious man even when James had danced with her the ball? Had listened to her worries and calmed her down? Did this mysterious man even know how to take care of her, let alone love her?

Fuck, why was he still in love with her? She was so obviously taken.

It was so fucking unfair! He had been pining after Lily for years for it to amount to nothing, and the he met Emerald Flower, and suddenly he thought that he would have a chance.

But he was kicked to the dirt. Again.

But this time, he wouldn't do what he did with Lily.

He was going to take it like a man, and back off.

If Emerald Flower was happy with another man, then he wouldn't try to pursue her.

He dejectedly picked up his quill and began to write a reply to Emerald Flower, his fingers jerky with frustration, making his words look choppy.

He folded it unevenly and didn't even bother with string.

He gave it to Matilda, who flew out the window.

He walked over to close it after her.

He stared back down at the table, the neat stack of blank parchment in one corner. The inkpot in the other.

The necklace.

The letter he originally wanted to send to Emerald Flower.

Suddenly, all the pressure got to him. School. Quidditch. The Death Eaters. Lily. Emerald Flower. Lily. Emerald Flower. Lily. Emerald Flower. Lily-

He shoved the stupid neat little pile of blank parchment onto the floor, his letter to Emerald Flower and the necklace going down with it.

He grabbed the inkpot and threw it at the window that Matilda flew out of, a sense of rightness coursing through him when he heard the window and inkpot shatter into a million shining pieces and saw the ink run down the wall.

He grabbed the back of his chair and slammed it down on the floor, relishing in the sound of the wood snapping, the chair legs breaking off like bones.

It wasn't enough. He needed to punch or kick something. He saw a potted plant and advanced toward it, and when he was upon it, he swung his foot back, but then he noticed what plant it was.

In the last second, he changed the angle of his knee, his toes slamming into the ground, sending shots of pain up his leg.

He cursed, but shut his mouth when he looked at the plant again.

It was a lily. At least, it was going to be. It was not yet fully bloomed.

Ever since Lily ventured into the Hufflepuff dorms, she wanted to trying growing plants in the dorm. He often caught her up late at night, trying to learn spells that would allow it to grow without sunlight, or in darkness, which is why she liked to take care of it at night.

He looked at it now, the tiny yet fat bulb of green leaves and white petals that had yet to bloom. A bulb that he almost destroyed.

He shook his head in shame. What would Lily think of him if he destroyed her plant?

Numbly, he picked up the potted plant and, with a tired soul, walked up to his bedroom.

* * *

Lily sat with Ruby in the owlery, brushing through her feathers.

She wondered what Loyal Lion's reaction would be to the news of her falling in love.

She didn't have to wait long because Matilda was suddenly by her side the reply letter in beak.

She reached for it and looked in confusion at it.

It wasn't folded neatly at all. It looked more like a crumpled piece of parchment that someone had thrown away. Maybe Loyal Lion had been in a rush?

She peeled open the letter and looked at his messy handwriting, the letters slashing violently across the page. Oh, yes, he must have been in a rush. He usually had very nice handwriting.

She read it and it said:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **I am glad that you are happy and I think that you should tell him.**_

 _ **You deserve to be happy.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

The words seemed stilted and hollow in her mind, but she didn't think on it for too long.

If this was his advice, she was going to take it.

Jumping up with excitement, she quickly bid her owls farewell and raced from the owlery.

She was finally going to tell James how she felt!

Her steps grew more confident as she got closer and closer to the halls that would lead her back to the Head's dorm.

She was finally going to do it.

No more letting her inner voice tell her she wasn't good enough. No more hours daydreaming about what could be. No more wishing and longing and pining. She was going to do it.

She giggled excitedly as she rounded a corner that led her to the Head dormitory's entrance.

She entered the dorm and jerked back in fright at the sight before her.

The ink that had run down the wall had dripped onto the carpet, staining the glass shards that also lay scattered on the floor.

The broken chair laid on the ground looked like a corpse with its broken legs, and around it was a flurry of parchment paper.

Lily cautiously walked to the mess. What had happened? Had someone broken into their dorm? She began to look for clues.

She inspected the broken window carefully to avoid cutting herself on the glass.

When she found nothing, she moved to the desk area.

She looked over the broken chair pieces and moved it out of the way so she could pick up the parchment pages on the ground.

She had picked up all of the blank pieces and held the stack in her arms when she noticed that one had writing on it.

She picked it up and gasped, dropping the stack onto the ground, causing them to fly everywhere again.

She read the letter.

 _ **Over the past few months, I have really enjoyed sending the AOL letters with you. You are one of the only people that I have talked to that have seems real. And over these past few months, I have to say that I have grown to really like you. A lot.**_

 _ **For starters, you are really beautiful, even though I couldn't see you under the mask, and you understand me. I think that I have accidentally told you all my fears and dreams because you are easy to talk to.**_

 _ **I would like us to become more than friends. I bought you a necklace that I will put in the letter to show my affection. I was going to wait until Christmas to give it to you, but now is as a good a time than ever.**_

 _ **And...I want you to know my real name so you know what you are walking into. My name is James Potter. You might have heard of my name in the news.**_

 _ **But that doesn't matter. I really like you, so please consider this proposal: Will you be my girlfriend?**_

 _ **James Potter**_

Lily's knees buckled and she fell to her knees. James was in love? With someone else?

Something shiny caught her eye and she looked down at the floor.

It was the emerald heart necklace.

Her fingers shook as she held it up.

This was the necklace that she stupidly thought he was going to give to her.

But it was for this other girl instead.

With a cry of agony, she clenched it in her fist and bolted up, tears stinging her eyes as she ran up the stairs to her room.

She slammed the door and slid down a wall, sobs overtaking her body.

She held the necklace close to her chest.

Merlin, it still smelled like him. She cried harder.

She wasted all these years, all this time hating him, and it wasn't until now that she finally fell in love with him.

There was nothing she could do.

He was in love with someone else. She was too late.

* * *

As Lily sat against the wall in her room, sobbing, James was sitting against his own wall in his room, not knowing that his back was only separated from hers by a foot of bricks.

He, too, was crying, holding the potted lily bud in his lap and arms.

He had lost Lily long ago, and now he had lost Emerald Flower.

There was nothing he could do.

She was in love with someone else. He was too late.

* * *

 **HAHAHAHAHAHA.**

 **I think that word you are looking for is "schadenfreude." It means pleasure derived from someone else's suffering. And I am getting pleasure from your suffering. ;D Right now, I am experiencing "schadenfreude."**

 **No, in all seriousness, I am sorry to put you through this suffering.**

 **So…if you want to know what happens next, read the next chapter!**

 **Thank you for reading and remember that I upload every Saturday*!**

 **Also before you go, I have to tell you about a new project that I am doing. I am going to challenge myself by writing a oneshot every single day starting on December 23, 2018 and ending on January 4, 2019. I am calling it my "Winter of Oneshots!" I will be writing Harry Potter oneshots, along with ones for Percy Jackson, A Court of Thorns and Roses, and Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir! If you haven't heard of these fandoms, I encourage you to look into them! They are amazing! And if you have, I encourage you to read my oneshots! I posted the upload schedule on my profile! Check it out!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	16. Ch 16: Curse of the Name

**Hello!**

 **Sorry for the last chapter, you guys. But you all know it would have been too easy to just have Lily receive the necklace and find out that Loyal Lion was James.**

 **And this chapter is going to be a little bit shorter due to this week being super busy. Sorry about that.**

 **But anyways, let's give thanks!**

 **Thank you to**

 **Thank you to Jily24115 and Zero-ryuu for following my story! Don't forget to buckle your seatbelts!**

 **Thank you for my reviewers!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **BlueJay64:** **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhh! Oh no! Woah, this is a really fantastic chapter. The fights and the reconciliation are both put so eloquently, I just sat there, after reading it, and let the full impact of this chapter hit me. Congratulations! I'm Anxiously awaiting chapter 16. SQUEEEEE!**

 **Me: Your reaction was the reaction I was looking for. Here is Chapter 16!**

 **AKBookGirl:** **Well, at least something went right in this chapter. I'm so glad Remus and Sirius are back together. As for Lily and James, they really need to just be as open face to face as they are in their letters. Good chapter, though quite aggravating.**

 **Me: Oh yes, quite aggravating indeed. If only the author wasn't so cold-blooded and mean. ;D**

 **Wolfstar lover18:** **How could you do this? That was absolutely heartbreaking, they need to know they love each other and be happy. But this chapter had me so wrapped in it I didn't want it to end. My favourite chapter!**

 **Me: I am so glad that this was your favorite chapter! And yes, it was heartbreaking! :(**

 **Anonymous:** **Please write more!This is my favorite fanfic of all time!**

 **Me: *wipes tear* Oh my gosh! "Of all time!" Really?! You are so sweet!**

 **SnW: Ohhhhhh shittttttt...U write like a roller coaster...One moment I was sad af for wolfstar while another moment I was happy! While for Jily, I was happy af while sec moment I was like is this happening for real?! Btw u have written awesome as always...just beautiful... I want jily to get together asap but I don't want u to stop writing this story...purely amazing...Btw guess this time who is it! ;) ;)**

 **Me: I know exactly who you are. I would recognize your comment anywhere. Would you like me to say your name or keep it as our little secret? ;)**

 ***Thanks for the reviews!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns everything except the plot!**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 16: The Curse of the Name

Afternoon, Wednesday, November 9, 1977

It had been three days since Lily found out about James' secret love for his AOL partner.

Lily sat in her bedroom, still feeling the ache in her chest, as if she had swallowed a stone.

She knew that he would talk about it when he was ready, but Lily wasn't sure if she wanted that.

She contemplated telling him that she knew, but then she would have to listen to James talk about his heart belonging to a girl that wasn't her.

She contemplated pretending she knew nothing and asking him why he trashed the common room, but he would either tell the truth, which was painful, or he would lie out of embarrassment, which was even worse.

She wasn't even sure if she wanted to talk to him. She had avoided him these past few days, and he didn't seem to care.

He was too busy pining after that other girl, never smiling, always thinking.

 _At least that is one thing that I can share with James,_ Lily thought to herself. _We can't share love together, but at least we both feel the pain of a broken heart._

She turned to the wall that she shared with James.

 _Snap out of it! It's your fault that you let him get away! Now study. Or else you can add failing classes onto your list of failures, right under your failed love life._

Lily sighed and began to study.

* * *

James sat on his bedroom floor, his back against the side of his bed.

He looked blankly at the ceiling. It was hopeless. He was going to be alone forever.

He turned to looked at his desk, which was a mess. He had taken out every letter that Emerald Flower had sent to him and read them all, thinking that if he could just skim through them and get her out of his system, it would be alright.

But now he was even more sad and confused. Emerald Flower and Lily were so similar that he had started reading the letters with Lily's voice in his head, but that was probably because he still adored Lily, and his subconscious was probably confusing the two with each other. Yes, that was probably why.

He looked to Lily's lily bud, which he put on the window sill so that it could grow. He sighed.

He knew that he should explain to Lily why he was being distant, but he was too heartbroken right now.

And besides, quite strangely, she was also being distant towards him, so he should just give her space. Right?

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and stood up. He had had enough of this miserable brooding.

He started to put on his Quidditch uniform. He was going to get his mind off of everything.

* * *

Sirius sat in Remus' bed with Remus in his lap. Remus had one arm wrapped around Sirius' neck while Sirius wrapped both arms around Remus' middle.

They were looking through their AOL letters, recalling their fondest memories while reading and writing them.

"Oh!" Remus exclaimed, picking up a letter. "You sent this letter to me a few weeks ago. You were so miserable and dramatic that I couldn't stop laughing. It was about the day I visited you at Quidditch practice and you tried to impress me, wasn't it?"

Sirius read the letter and blushed. "Um, no, it wasn't. I have no idea what you are talking about."

The letter said:

 _ **Dear Kind Beowulf,**_

 _ **I had a bad day yesterday.**_

 _ **I was at Quidditch practice, you know, hitting Bludgers and looking handsome at the same time, when my best mate decided to surprise me by showing up to watch me practice. I got distracted and fell right off my broom. I was lucky that I wasn't that high up in the air, but I fell in a mud puddle! My hair is ruined.**_

 _ **And now my best mate won't stop laughing at me.**_

 _ **I am still getting dirt and dead bugs out of my hair.**_

 _ **Regards,**_

 _ **Black Knight**_

Remus laughed. " I don't know why I didn't realize it was you. I must have forgotten that you fell, or else I would have realized that you were Black Knight."

Sirius blushed again. "Let's not talk about it. I still have nightmares about those bugs."

Remus smiled. "I am sure they are all gone now." Remus ran his hands through Sirius' hair, looking through it.

Then he frowned. "Oh dear, there are still some in here."

Sirius jumped out of bed. "What?!"

He ran to the mirror and started to frantically run his hands through his hair, only stopping when he heard Remus laughing.

Sirius turned around and looked at Remus suspiciously. "There are no bugs, are there?"

Remus shook his head, still laughing.

Sirius growled, "I'll get you for that!" He jumped onto Remus, sending their letters everywhere, and started tickling him.

Remus yelped gleefully, "Haha, no, stop! That tickles!"

Sirius stopped and kissed him. Remus gasped and wrapped his arms around Sirius.

But before they could get any further, their dormitory door slammed open. Remus immediately pushed Sirius away to see who it was. "Prongs."

James stood in the doorway with a glare on his face. "Padfoot, put on your Quidditch gear. We're going down to the pitch." Then he turned and walked back outside to wait.

Sirius groaned.

Remus looked up to see Sirius still on top of him. "Go see why he is angry."

Sirius whined, "But we were busy…"

Remus shook his head. "We can start again later. We live in the same dorm. Prongs, on the other hand, lives alone in the Head's dorm. He might be need someone right now."

Sirius rested his forehead on Remus' clavicle. "I hate when you are right."

Remus smiled. "Get used to it."

* * *

The walk to the Quidditch pitch was silent. The sunset gave an orange and pink hue to James' and Sirius face, which didn't help because James was glaring so hard at the ground that he looked red.

James threw his bag down onto the green grass and mounted his broom with a Quaffle in hand, kicking off the ground before Sirius could say anything.

Sirius put his bag on the ground next to James' before mounting his own, pushing off the ground and flying to the goals to play Keeper.

James weaved through the air, the Quaffle under his arm, and aimed for a goal.

He stretched his arm back and sent it flying, only for Sirius to jump in front of it and catch it, the wind sailing through his hair.

Sirius threw the Quaffle back to James. "So are you going to tell me why your wand is in a twist or are you just going to keep throwing balls at me?"

James caught it effortlessly. "It's about Emerald Flower."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "That girl that you are sending AOL letters to?"

James nodded, aiming for another goal. "And Lily."

Sirius rose an eyebrow again, but, in his confusion, he wasn't fast enough to fly towards the goal that James was aiming for, and the Quaffle went in.

Sirius flew down the catch it before it hit the ground, calling up, "I thought that you were over her because you like Emerald Flower now?"

James scoffed from above. "I don't know anymore."

He caught the ball that Sirius at him.

Sirius answered over the wind. "Is that why you're angry? You're confused?"

James shook his head, passing the Quaffle between his hands. "Emerald Flower."

Sirius titled his head. "What's wrong with her?"

A dark look came over James' face. "She's in love with someone else."

With that, James hurled the Quaffle at the goals so quickly that the wind was like a screeching whistle in his ear and it was too late.

"Ow!" Sirius howled, arms wrapped around his midsection, where the Quaffle had hit him dead-on.

James started, a panicked look on his face. "Padfoot! I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Sirius grimaced, groaning, "Let's just talk on the ground."

Sirius leaned forward, one arm still wrapped around his stomach, and began the flight back to the ground.

James followed, a guilty look on his face.

Sirius left his broomstick next to his bag and then went to sit on the ground. Sirius moved his legs so they were stretched out in front of him before he laid back on the green grass. James did the same.

The two lay next to each other in silence, looking at the orange and pink clouds for a few moments until James said softly, "Do you think anyone will ever love me?"

Sirius' mouth twitched. "Prongs, you're handsome, smart, and funny. What bird wouldn't want you?"

James adjusted his glasses. "But do you think they really want that?"

Sirius frowned. "Why wouldn't they?"

James was silent before he said quietly, "Because, maybe...they want something else."

Sirius turned to James. "And what's that?"

James continued to look at the sky as he said, "My name."

Sirius sat his head back down on the grass. "I see."

James rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "You know when Mum has the New Year's Eve party every year and makes me entertain the heirs from all the other pureblood wizarding families? I hate it. Every single year, the same girls come up to me, trying to talk to me, but never even getting a dance with me because it's so obvious that they aren't looking at me. They are looking straight at my fortune."

James scoffed. "It's fun, sometimes, flashing a smile and watching them swoon, But they couldn't care less about me. Self-absorbed brats, the lot of them. Always talking about themselves."

James continued. "Then we went to Hogwarts and it was like that all over again, but every day. And I would pretend that it was okay. Because that it what Potters are supposed to do, right? Look pretty for the camera."

James sighed. "And then I met Lily. Merlin, she was still so beautiful back then, but that isn't why I haven't gotten over her. All the other girls were pretty, too, but I don't even remember all their names."

Sirius asked, "Then what made Evans different?"

James was silent for a long time before he said, "I fell in love with Lily because she ignored my title. She didn't care that I am stupidly rich and famous and handsome. She cared about my personality. She cared about my character. And I failed her. I was a bully. I hurt her."

The wind brushed through the grass underneath them, tickling their skin.

James put his hands behind his head. "But when I met Emerald Flower, I found someone who I could talk to, who didn't know me as James Potter, heir to the Potter fortune. I was just...me."

James smiled fondly. "And finally, I thought that I could start all over. I could treat her the way I never got to treat Lily."

James let out a laugh. "And she's amazing. I could tell her everything. Anything at all, without worrying that it would ruin my reputation or sound embarrassing. And she would listen."

The sky was beginning to darken, and stars began to peek out from behind the clouds.

James glared at the night sky. "But she's gone. She's in love with someone else."

Sirius sighed.

James closed his eyes. "What if my name is all I will ever be? What if I am worth nothing without my name? Who am I if I am not a Potter? Will there ever be a woman who will love me not for my name, but for me?"

James sat up and turned to Sirius. "How do you do it, Sirius? How do you deal with all these girls wanting to get to know you without wanting to get to know you? How do you deal with all these girls throwing themselves at you only because of what your name can mean for them?"

Sirius was silent for a long time, the only sound on the pitch their breathing.

Then he answered, "I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the same questions."

Sirius watched the darkening sky. "The Black family is a long and complicated web of wealth, one that I don't give a damn about. I was taught that I had to find a pureblood witch, obviously from Slytherin, and she had to have a certain level of wealth and training in etiquette and bullshit like that."

Sirius sighed. "I was fucking depressed. I am gay, and I was expected to marry a girl who probably wouldn't know a damn thing about me other than the number of Galleons in my Gringotts vault? I thought that I would never find anyone who loved me for me."

Sirius smiled. "And then I met Remus. He's perfect. Kind and intelligent and real. He sees me, not my title. And he still loves me, even though he knows about my past. I feel so lucky that I found him."

Sirius sat up now. "So I want you to get off your arse and find your girl. Whether it be Evans or Emerald Flower or someone else. You, my friend," Sirius said, grinning, "are so much more than your name. There are going to be tons of birds out there who will know that, too."

James sighed, and looked up at the stars again, the twinkle of the stars reflecting off his glasses. "Thanks, Padfoot."

Sirius patted James on the back, standing up and extending a hand to James, who reached it and was pulled up.

"I'm your big brother," Sirius answered teasingly. "It's kind of in my job description."

James emphasized playfully, " _Little_ brother."

Sirius scoffed, "No, I'm the older one."

James answered, "But I'm the mature one."

Sirius answered by playfully shoving James to the ground, and James replied by grabbing Sirius' ankle and pulling, sending him to the ground, too.

Sirius laughed, "You bastard!"

James laughed and the two brawled for several minutes, before picking up their gear and walking back to the castle.

* * *

Alice thought about the last few words that Half-Blood Prince had said to her when they met in Hogsmeade:

 _Half-Blood Prince stood up and said, "They aren't doing it of their own free will, at least not entirely. That is all I want to say."_

 _He pulled out his wand and said, "And I didn't want to send you that letter. I was forced to."_

Alice clicked her tongue in irritation. What did it all mean? How could the have been Death Eaters have been forced to do it? It was too risky to use the Imperius Curse on so many people in so little time.

And even if the Imperius Curse was used, then how could Half-Blood Prince tell that he was forced to?

Alice huffed, tired of speculating.

She pulled out parchment and ink.

* * *

Severus Snape sat in the corner of the Slytherin common room, a Potions book open in front of him.

But he wasn't reading it. He was pretending to, in order to avoid getting involved with what was happening at the center of the common room.

Bellatrix smirked as two Slytherin students dragged a Ravenclaw boy in and shoved him to his knees. "What brings you here?" She drawled.

The boy spat at her feet. "What did you do to my brother?"

Bellatrix feigned confusion. "Whatever do you mean?"

The boy growled. "He's not a Death Eater, yet he was one of the students unmasked on the night of the ball. I was shocked until I found the letters and bottles in his drawer!"

Bellatrix smiled. "Oh, no wonder you are a Ravenclaw. You figured it all out, didn't you? How...wise."

She smiled darkly. "But it wasn't very wise coming here without a way out."

She snapped her fingers and a Slytherin boy walked up with a vial of potion in hand.

The Ravenclaw boy began to struggle, but his two captors held him in place, one holding his face with his mouth open, while the third approached and poured the potion down the Ravenclaw's throat.

The Ravenclaw student thrashed around but then stopped, a confused look on his face.

Bellatrix's face when from smirking to disinterested. She scoffed, "Lock him up."

The Ravenclaw student was dragged away.

Bellatrix settled back into the sofa at the center of the room and the tension dissipated.

A clicking on the window next to Severus startled him. It was is AOL owl.

He opened it and let his owl in. He untied the letter:

 _ **Dear Half-Blood Prince,**_

 _ **We're not finished talking. Meet me at the same spot at the same time on Friday, November 11, two days from today.**_

 _ **Destiny's Dove**_

Severus sighed. He hated playing for two sides, but it was necessary.

"Oh Severus dear?"

He looked up at Bellatrix, who still sat on the sofa. "Yes?"

She picked at her nails as she said, "We are running out of your special concoction. You are to make more."

Severus nodded.

"And one other thing." Bellatrix's eyes gleamed as she said, "Just a reminder. Not a word to anyone about our plans, or else your mudblood bitch pays for it."

Severus fought to keep his face blank, and could only nod again.

* * *

Lily laid awake in her bed, looking at the stars through her window, thinking about James seeing the same stars if he just looked out his window.

She sighed. She didn't know how long she could do this.

Sooner or later James would notice how distant she was being and ask questions that she would never be able to answer.

She couldn't talk to anyone about this. Alice was happily in love. Marlene was happily in love. Remus was happily in love.

How could any of her friends understand the pain of a broken heart if their hearts are so full?

And then she knew.

There was only one person that she knew that had been in love before and lost it.

She crawled out of bed and walked over to her desk to pull out a piece of parchment.

She began writing it:

 _ **Dear Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **Something has happened, and you are the only one I can talk to about this.**_

 _ **Meet me at the top of the Astronomy Tower at 10:00 pm on Friday, November 11, which is two days from today. Remember to bring your mask.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Emerald Flower**_

As she finished tying it, Matilda clicked on her window, having finished her hunting.

She gave it to Matilda, who flew out into the night.

Lily sat in her bed again and waited.

Her eyes began to droop, but she was startled when Matilda came back less than a few minutes later.

She let her in and opened the letter:

 _ **Dear Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **I'll be there.**_

 _ **Loyal Lion**_

* * *

 **Ooooooooooooooo….so what's going to happen at the Astronomy Tower? What's going to happen at Hogsmeade? What is the special concoction that Severus is making?**

 **Who knows? I could be stringing you all along and you'll never find out! (You will, don't worry. Please keep reading.)**

 **Thank you so much for reading and remember that I upload every Saturday*!**

 **Also before you go, I have to tell you about a new project that I am doing. I am going to challenge myself by writing a oneshot every single day starting on December 23, 2018 and ending on January 4, 2019. I am calling it my "Winter of Oneshots!" I will be writing Harry Potter oneshots, along with ones for Percy Jackson, A Court of Thorns and Roses, and Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir! If you haven't heard of these fandoms, I encourage you to look into them! They are amazing! And if you have, I encourage you to read my oneshots! I posted the upload schedule on my profile! Check it out!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	17. Ch 17: Under the Stars

**Alright.**

 **I give you all the right to get angry. I uploaded way later than expected and that is due to my poor time management. I was preparing for the holidays and working, so I lost track of how much time I had left over for writing. I apologize sincerely..**

 **Thank you so much for sticking with me, even when I post late.**

 **Thank you to** **Ashpren** **,** **Edenxalicex** **, and** **ampharoxx** **for following my story!**

 **Thank you to** **Edenxalicex** **,** **Jily24115** **,** **OfficialFangirlingNerd** **, and Raerkyza for favoring my story!**

 **Thank you to my reviewers!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **Shamelessnweird** **:** **oh shitz the cliff hanger... now I just wish I had a time Turner, so that I could just jump to Saturday and read out next chapter ...love it love it... n now let's just keep our little secret,.. though it will be exposed now!**

 **Me: Too true. It's a shame, really. I kind of wanted to drag it out and see if everyone else was interested in finding out who you were. Maybe if you wanted to try again under a different name? ;)**

 **BlueJay64** **:** **Ugh! It's already the end of the chapter. This chapter was so full of fluffy friendships. I adore Sirius and Remus, they are so perfect for each other it's so heart-breakingly beautiful. That's what I call magic. I'm so excited for the astronomy tower scene. I love how you can keep the action running while having all the fabulous friendships and character development throughout. I'm not that excited to see what Snape's brewing, I'm dreading having to face another Bellatrix scene again. bleueuggh. What a cruel person. (despite how much I hate her, you shaped her character well so far. It takes hard work to be able to shape a character in a few sentences) I also want to say thanks for the lovely reply to my earlier reviews (I know, it's weird) but its nice to see you're getting them. I also get your updates on Saturdays, and I love how 'There's no post on Sundays'; the beauty is in the details. Squuueee1 It's school holidays at the moment, and you're the reason I still look forward to Saturdays. Thank you so much. (You've also helped to restore my faith in ) I also haven't seen anything on your profile page about your "Winter of Oneshots" last time I checked.**

 **Me: Thank you so much for all of the details that you give to me when you review. I am so glad that my story gives you joy. And if you can't find it on my profile page, I can send you the information personally through the privage messages.**

 **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged** **: Hey! It's SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged here! THE LAST CHAPTER!? *Pouts* I'm drawn to this! Please continue! Please write more! I love this! There is so much suspense and I want to know what happens next! One of my favourites!**

 **Me: Don't worry! I promise that this is not the last chapter. There is still more to explore. And thank you for the compliments!**

 **Jily24115** **: I love this chapter because there's wolfstar but then I think James would want to ask lily why she's been ignoring him like he has to her.**

 **Me: I am very pleased to find my readers speculating. I am glad you are putting so much thought into the story!**

 **Astra** **:** **woo hoo! I'm back, under a new name (I used to be Fire and Ice) GAHHHHHHH CLIFFHANGERRRRR also can Molly just kill Bellatrix now**

 **Me: Hello again! And yes, Bellatrix is horrible.**

 **Anonymous:** **OMGGGGGGG WHHHYYYYY DO YOU HAVE TO END ON A CLIIIFFFFFFFFHHHAAANNNGGGGEEERRR I AM GOING TO DIIIEEEE!**

 **Me: I have just the thing that will save your life. *uploads chapter***

 **Anonymous:** **I am so thankful because most of the writers I know just leave it at a huge cliffhanger and never work on it again**

 **Me: Oh yes, I agree wholeheartedly with you. It is always a shame that some authors never finish, and I don't blame them. Writing is long and arduous, but it gives many much joy, which is why I write.**

 ***Thanks for reviewing!***

 **Again, don't worry. I am not done with this story yet. There is still so much character, relationship, and plot development to explore.**

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns the setting and characters. But I will keep writing the plot to make everyone happy!**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 17: Under the Stars

Morning, Friday, November 11, 1977

The halls were a flurry of students trying to make it to the Great Hall to eat breakfast or to make it to the library to finish their homework before class.

Sirius held Remus' hand as they walked through to halls to find the Great Hall.

Remus' hands were tight and clammy in Sirius'. Sirius turned and looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

Remus looked around wearily. "People are looking at us."

Sirius looked around. It was true. Even though several students were busily rushing through the halls, others shared hushed whispers behind cupped hands, their gazes flashing towards Remus and Sirius.

Sirius tightened his grip on Remus' hand, stroking his knuckles. "You know I don't care about what they think, right?"

Remus nodded.

Sirius hesitated before asking, "Do you care what they think? Are you ashamed of being with me, because my past?"

Remus held Sirius' hand tighter. "Of course not!"

Sirius nodded, raising Remus' hand until he could kiss Remus' knuckles. "Good. Then let them think what they want."

Sirius left a final kiss on Remus' knuckles before resuming their walk to the Great Hall.

When they arrived, they found James sitting but not eating his breakfast. He rested his face in one hand, his eyelids drooping and his head jerking up and down as he tried to stay awake.

Sirius sat down next to Remus and asked, "Prongs, are you okay?"

James didn't bother to open his eyes as he mumbled, "I still can't find it."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Find what?"

Sirius started to pile food onto his plate. "He lost his present for his AOL partner."

James nodded. "I have been looking for it since two days ago. I don't remember where I put it. I looked under my bed, in my desk drawers, even in the broom cupboard. I can't find it. And I am meeting her tonight."

Remus stirred his oatmeal as he asked, "What was the present?"

James sighed as he absentmindedly said, "An emerald heart necklace."

Remus jerked back. _Emerald?_

He cleared his throat before asking, "James, what did you say your AOL partners' name was?"

But then James bolted up out of his seat. "The common room! I didn't search there. That was the last place I saw the necklace. It has to be there!"

Before Remus or Sirius could say anything, James ran out of the Great Hall.

Sirius shrugged and grabbed a piece of toast from James plate. "More food for us."

Remus pursed his lips, still looking at the entrance of the Great Hall.

Sirius nudged him. "You okay?"

Remus nodded and turned back to his oatmeal. "Yes, it's fine. I just had a thought."

Sirius kissed Remus' cheek affectionately. "My Remus. Always thinking."

Remus blushed, his face as red as the strawberries in that morning's fruit salad.

* * *

Lily sighed in relief as she settled into the sofa of the Head's common room with a cup of tea in hand.

James was having breakfast in the Great Hall and she could hide and have breakfast here before going to class.

She opened up a book and was about to lose herself in the words when she heard the entrance of the common room being opened.

She yelped in surprise as James frantically ran into the common room and stopped abruptly in front of her.

"Lily?" He asked, looking at Lily's setup of her books and breakfast. "What is this?"

Lily put down her book and looked nervously at her things. "Um...I thought it would be nice to eat my breakfast in here. It's very peaceful and has nice lighting and-"

"Are you avoiding me?" James asked, confusion in his eyes.

Lily squirmed, wringing her hands anxiously. "Of course not! Why would you think that?"

"This is the first time we talked in almost a week!" James exclaimed. "This isn't like you."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Did I...do something? Just tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing!" Lily shouted, anger rising in her. "Not everything is about you!"

"I am not making this about me!" James shouted back. "It's about you not talking to me!"

"Why do I have to talk to you?" Lily shot back. "I am not your house elf! Or is that how you treat everyone who is beneath you, Potter?"

"You know that's not true." James growled.

Lily shook her head and turned away. "I don't know anything anymore."

She ran up the stairs and slammed the door her bedroom shut, ignoring James calling her name.

* * *

Evening, Friday, November 11, 1977

Destiny's Dove's heart thundered as she trudged through the snow to get to Hog's Head.

The cold bit at her as she crept along the darker sections of the village.

When she arrived, she slipped inside only to have a wand pressed against her throat.

"Don't move."

She tried to turn her head behind her to see the attacker but he restrained her.

She growled. "Who are you and what do you want?"

His hold tightened on her. "You know very well, Destiny's Dove."

Destiny's Dove froze. "Half-Blood Prince."

She felt him nod.

She asked, "Why are you attacking me?"

He shook his head. "That's not important. Just swear that whatever I tell you at this meeting, you won't tell anyone."

She shook her head. "Lives are at stake. I can't make that promise."

His grip tightened. "You will."

She tried to shake him off. "Why?"

"That's not your concern."

Destiny's Dove scoffed. "It is when you have your wand on my throat."

He clicked his tongue in irritation and shoved her away. "I apologize, but what I tell you has to stay a secret, even if you are being tortured."

She furrowed her eyebrows in suspicion. "Why? Why tell me anything if I can't use it to protect the countless muggleborns and half-bloods that will be targeted?"

He turned away, his fists clenched. "Because I have to protect her."

Destiny's Dove was silent for a few moments before she asked. "Her?"

Half-Blood Prince nodded, his body still turned away from her.

She hesitated before asking. "Who is she?"

Half-Blood Prince looked at the window. "It doesn't matter. What does is that if I tell you anything, they'll kill her."

Destiny's Dove sighed heavily. "Is she..is she a muggleborn or half-blood?"

Half-Blood Prince nodded.

She walked over to a chair and sat down.

"Sit," she instructed.

He sat in the chair across from her.

Destiny's Dove leaned back and cross her arms. "I can't promise not to tell."

Half-Blood Prince opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off. "I can't do this alone. I am going to need the help of my friends to fight the Death Eaters. I will end up having to tell them what I know."

She took a breath before she continued. "But I can promise that if you tell me what you know, I can save your friend, and the others who are threatened by the Death Eaters."

She looked at him beseechingly. "Please, tell me what you know."

He refused to meet her eyes.

"Please," Destiny's Dove said softly.

He stood up abruptly, reaching into his coat and pulling out a potions bottle and slid it across the table towards her.

She leaned forward and grabbed it, holding it up in the candlelight. "What is this?"

Half-Blood Prince started to up on his cloak. "If I tell you what I know, they might give me Veritaserum on me and find out I told you. But I can give you clues."

He pointed to the potion. "This is your first."

Destiny's Dove looked down at the bottle.

"Thank you," she said, gratefully.

He nodded, and then opened the entrance, disappearing into the night.

* * *

Emerald Flower stood atop the tower.

The starlight reflected off her emerald green mask as she looked up to the sky. There was a new moon tonight, which meant the moonlight was missing, making the sky seem hollow. Just like her heart.

She had pushed James away, and now she had lost him for good. Now she only had the emerald necklace that he was going to give to another girl.

She looked down at her shirt. Underneath it, she could feel cold metal of the necklace on her chest. She had considered throwing it away, but it was the only way she felt close to James now.

She sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Emerald Flower."

She turned, and Loyal Lion was there, the gold of his lion mask illuminated in the night.

He took a step forwards hesitantly. "What's happened? Are you okay?"

Emerald Flower shook her head and turned back to the balcony. "No, I am not."

Loyal Lion walked up beside her. "Tell me."

She scanned the snowy mountains in the distance. "Remember when you said that you were in love with a girl and lost her?"

Loyal Lion nodded warily.

She turned to him. "Well, I just found out that the man I am in love with is in love with someone else."

Loyal Lion froze. "I am sorry."

Emerald Flower shrugged. "I wasn't good enough for him anyways."

Loyal Lion straightened. "That's not true."

She continued to look out at the mountains.

"Hey," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I think that you are amazing."

She turned to him in surprise. "You do."

He nodded and smiled, his hazel eyes insistent. "I think that you are smart, thoughtful, and passionate."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I know this is a bad time, but for a long time, I have come to admire you, even love you."

Lily's eyes widened and she gasped.

He tentatively held her hand in his own. "Please, say something."

Emerald Flower looked down at their joined hands, warmth and the calluses feeling oddly familiar.

She pulled her hand back quickly. "I can't."

She hugged herself. "I-I still love him, and I don't want to use you."

She looked up at him. "And don't you still love that other girl?"

It was Loyal Lion's turn to look away. "She...she's moved on."

Emerald Flower tilted her head. "Don't you still want to try to win her over?"

He sighed and shook his head, leaning on the balcony. "She and I...we have something between us. I can feel it. But she doesn't really care."

He straightened and looked at her with hopeful eyes. "But we could be something."

Emerald Flower took a shaky breath and looked away from him. "Loyal Lion, I agree that if we wanted to, we could be something, but should we? You love her and I love him. Would it be right?"

He bounded forward and held both of her shoulders. "I know it might be too soon now, but later when the pain has healed, will you consider me?"

She stood there, frozen and looking into his hazel eyes. How could she answer? It was true that Loyal Lion was attractive, charming, smart, and athletic, but so was James, who currently held her heart.

Her hand trembled as she tried to come to a decision. She cupped the necklace in her shirt, wondering if giving up and James was the only way.

Loyal Lion noticed the movement. "What's under your shirt?"

She jolted in surprise and flushed. "Oh, um...it's just this necklace."

She unbuttoned one button on her shirt and pulled it out. The emerald shone again his golden mask.

Loyal Lion immediately stepped back. "Where did you get that?"

Emerald Flower shriveled, not wanting to reveal that it was James'.

He clenched his fists. "I said, where did you get that?"

She looked at him with eyebrows raised. "Why must you know?"

He threw his hands up. "Because it has to be mine! I bought in Hogsmeade last week, and brought it to my dorm, and then I lost it, leading to me spending hours looking for it. How can you have it? The only one who lives in my dorm…" He trailed off, shock on his face.

Emerald Flower tilted her head in confusion. "Um, are you okay?"

His looked at her with wide eyes. His voice shook as he asked, "Lily?"

She furrowed her eyebrows and took a step back. "How do you know?"

He stepped towards her. "Please, take off you mask. I need to be sure."

Emerald Flower stared into his hazel eyes, her hands shaking a she undid the ribbon and peeled the mask off her face.

Loyal Lion smiled. "Lily."

He reached out to cup her cheek, but she stepped back warily. "How do you know my name?"

He reached behind him to untie the golden ribbon of his lion mask. When it fell off, Lily's knees almost gave out and she gasped, "James!"

He smiled, still incredulous. "You're my Emerald Flower?"

But then he rose an eyebrow. "Wait, who was the man you were in love with?"

Lily, at this point, was too shocked to lie. "You."

He grinned. "Oh Merlin, this is perfect. I love you, as Lily and as Emerald Flower. I love you and you love me and now that we know our identities, we can be together!"

But Lily looked away, towards the mountains. "We can't."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why not?"

Lily looked down at her feet. "I am scared that I will be a bad girlfriend and then we will get hurt."

James tried to calm her. "Don't worry Lily. If we have problems, we can work them out."

Lily shook her head vehemently. "No! We can't. Have you seen how we handle conflict? We always fight. Today…" She remembered their fight in the common room only a few hours earlier. "I was being stupid. I shouldn't have gotten angry at you because you found another."

"That's why you were angry?" James asked.

She nodded numbly, tears threatening to spill over.

He walked towards her and took her hand. "Lily, it's okay-"

She shook her head. "No, James, it's not. I was a terrible person to you for 7 years. I don't deserve you-"

"You are so stubborn, Lily! And I love that about you, but," James casted a pained look at their intertwined hands, "sometimes you hold on so tightly that I am afraid that your fingers are going to break."

Her tears were flowing freely now, because she knew he was right.

"And I need these fingers," James continued, kneeling, "I need them for when we are having an argument and you will randomly poke me in my chest out of anger."

James kissed her knuckles.

"I need them for when you clap for me every time I throw the Quaffle into the goal at Quidditch games."

James paused at her ring finger. "And I will need them for the day when I decide to ask you to become my wife."

"James…"

"Lily, can't you see that I'm in love with you? I know what I want, Lily. I want you."

Lily sighed, cupping his cheek. "I know what I want, too, James," Lily started, "but...I'm scared of it."

"I am scared, too," James admitted. "but you have to have to trust me in order for this to work."

He continued. "We both treated each other horribly over the years, but we can forgive each other now. I forgive you." He paused. "Do you forgive me?"

Her other hand crept up to cup his other cheek. "Yes."

He looked at her gratefully. "Thank you."

His hands gripped her hips. "Can I kiss you?"

Lily's hands shook as she slipped them into his hair. She replied softly, "Go slow, please. I don't know what to do."

He nodded. "Don't worry."

He closed his eyes and her eyelids fluttered shut after him.

When his lips met hers, Lily nearly gasped. It was _heavenly_. No wonder almost all the girls in their year had wanted a kiss with James. He was amazing at it.

His grip on her hips tightened as he crushed her to his chest. His lips moved eagerly over hers, slow yet appreciative.

But then his hands started to slide up.

She pulled back, her eyes wide. "No, don't."

Immediately, he respected her wishes, stepping back and away from her. "Are you okay?"

Lily hugged herself in shame. "I am sorry. That was a little too much." She looked up at him. "Do you not want me anymore?"

He shook his head. "Of course not! I have never wanted you more."

He stepped forward to tilt her chin up. "You don't ever have to be afraid of me."

She took a shaky breath. "Thank you."

He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her again.

She wrapped her arms around his midsection and let him kiss her under the stars.

* * *

Back in the James' bedroom, the night sky shone over a lilybud.

And in the light of the stars, it began to bloom.

* * *

 **Yay! Now you guys can stop complaining about Jily!**

 **I will say it again, the story doesn't end when James and Lily get together. There is much darkness ahead, and I want to walk through it together with you.**

 **Thank you so much for reading and remember that I (try to and usually succeed) every Saturday*!**

 **Also before you go, I have to tell you about a new project that I am doing. I am going to challenge myself by writing a oneshot every single day starting on December 23, 2018 and ending on January 4, 2019. I am calling it my "Winter of Oneshots!" I will be writing Harry Potter oneshots, along with ones for Percy Jackson, A Court of Thorns and Roses, and Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir! If you haven't heard of these fandoms, I encourage you to look into them! They are amazing! And if you have, I encourage you to read my oneshots! I posted the upload schedule on my profile! Check it out!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	18. Ch 18: More Pieces to the Puzzle

**Hello!**

 **How was the holidays for everyone? I hope you all experienced peace and joy during this holiday season!**

 **Let us give the final thanks of 2018!**

 **Thank you to** **ohhellno2801** **for following my story!**

 **Thank you to** **Jily24115** **,** **WhitneyTrey** **, and** **starlight1313** **for favoring my story!**

 **Thank you to my reviewers!**

 ***Review!***

 **Edenxalicex** **:** **I suggest that you should add longer Wolfstar sections because we don't get to see as much of them as we jily. BTW i love this series so much and am really happy that you made it. Xxxxxxx**

 **Me: Thanks for the feedback. I am trying as best I can to balance between the two and give everyone equal coverage of both. And thank you for loving my story!**

 **Jily24115** **:** **YES FINALLY! I loved this chapter so much. I was waiting for it hour by hour.**

 **Me: Oh my gosh, thank you for waiting! I was so ashamed for being so horribly late. I was thinking to myself, 'Well, there goes your credibility as a writer.' But after the long hours of writing, I am so glad you love it!**

 **Ashspren** **:** **This was honestly beautiful. I love how you address the problems in their relationship, instead of just making them perfect from the start. Amazing as always! 3**

 **Me: Thank you! Yes, while there is nothing wrong with perfect characters or relationships, it is harder to make perfection look realistic. So I tried to think about the struggles that they might have been going through at the time.**

 **BlueJay64** **: Hmmm, the way that Lily seems inferior is interesting. It's not to say I like it or don't like it, I just really would like a chapter from James' perspective. It would help me get a real view on the characters, and it bugs me when one side of a relationship seems perfect, but I guess this is just because it's from Lily's perspective and she doesn't see how wonderful she is. UGH! Why did Lily have to steal that necklace; it was James'. YOU DON'T JUST STEAL STUFF DING-DONG! Anyway, Lily's reaction to James was also interesting and really realistic for the character you made her. I like how she has faults, because JK portrays her as perfect, and that's not a fair statement. HOORAY! Awaiting your next chapter eagerly! I love your work so much! I am soooooo excited to see how Jily takes on the impending darkness.**

 **Me: Thanks for coming back! And yes, I will try to see what I can do about James' perspective. Like I told Edenxalicex, every reader wants something different and I amd trying to include it all to make you all happy. :)**

 **Miss Marauderett** **: OMFG! Finally finally! All my babies are together happily! Now the part m excited for is BTW hbp n dd which I was ever since u mentioned excited for... But now I wish that if there was more suspense btwn Jily, so I could enjoy ur writing... But yes I definitely want enjoy u writing their relationship.. N yes I read one of requested for bellatrix scene.. Yes I would love to read that n I do siriuslyyyy enjoy your writing as much as I love wolfstar together... I was down with fever but this definitely made my day…**

 **Me: I am so happy that you are satisfied! And I am so glad I made your day!**

 **Anonymous:** **.** **AWESOME** **.**

 **Me: Short and sweet. I like it. :)**

 ***Thank you for reviwing!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling is the owner of the book, but I am the owner of this story.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 18: More Pieces to the Puzzle

Morning, Saturday, November 19, 1977

Lily and James sat in the common room looking over the prefect reports for the month.

They sat on opposite sides of the same sofa. Occasionally, they would shyly lift their gazes up to look at each other before darting their eyes away, blushing.

They had been together for a week, and James still couldn't believe it. The girl that he had been in love with for 7 years was in love with him, too. And she had been the girl that he had sent letters to for several months, falling in love with her all over again. And now they were finally together. He could hardly contain his grin as he read over the reports.

Lily's heart was aflutter as she tried to focus on the reports. She was so grateful that she hadn't missed her chance. After all this time, she fell in love with the boy that she swore to hate and somehow, he still waited for her. He was still in love with her, just as much as she was in love with him. Her heart nearly burst.

Finally, the two managed to finish the reports.

Lily organized them into a pile before curling into a ball on the sofa, yawning and closing her eyes. "Oh, James, it seems like the work will never end. With this and the investigation of the Death Eaters, I don't know how we do it. I am so tired."

James crawled to her until he could wrap his arms around her. She jerked in surprise, but leaned in when she realized that he was trying to cuddle with her.

He rubbed her back and smiled. "You're so tense."

She rested her forehead against his shoulder. "I am just not used to this," she said softly.

"Used to what?" he asked, brushing his lips over her head.

She raised her head to look at him, emerald sinking in to pools of hazel. "Being wanted," she breathed out.

James tightened his hold on her. "Of course I want you. I've wanted you for years."

She gave him a woeful smile. "You're the first."

She rested her hands on his shoulders as she said, "All my life, I have never been good enough. In the muggle world, I am too magical, and in the magical world, too muggle."

She played with the hair at the nape of his neck and he trailed his fingers up her spine.

She continued, "My parents never paid me much attention before they found out I was a witch. Petunia was the first daughter, the well-mannered daughter, the perfect daughter. While she was in the house leaning about etiquette, I was outside, playing the field of flowers and mud. But even thought I was too normal for my parents to love me, at least I was normal enough for Petunia to love me."

She sighed. "But then they found out. My parents were supportive, albeit a bit hesitant. But my sister changed forever. It seems that my entire life was turned upside down. My parents were finally giving me the attention and approval that I longed for, but the cost was my relationship with Petunia."

She looked at him. "But then I met Severus, and I thought that I had finally be good enough for someone. He hadn't cared that I was muggleborn when we met."

She paused, as if trying to collect herself. "But things changed, I guess."

Her fingers crept up touch his cheeks, "All my life, I have never been good enough for anyone. I am scared that you are going to leave me, like they did. Are you sure that I am what you want?"

Lily looked away from him. "You are the sole heir to the Potter fortune. You could have any witch you want. Why me?"

James pulled his arms back so that he could hold Lily's hands in his. "Lily, do you remember when I told you about my father?"

Lily paused to think before saying, "At the ball?"

James nodded. "Yes, and do you remember what happened to him?"

She nodded. "I am sorry."

James squeezed her hands. "The last words he said was that he didn't trust me. When he died, I was so ashamed about what I did to you. I knew he was right. So I tried to be better."

He cupped her cheeks. "I am better now. I won't lie to you. I won't play with your heart. I won't date you only to stray for another. You have to trust me when I say I love you. I love you, Lily Evans."

Lily rested her palms on his chest. "But James," she replied, "I have nothing to offer you. No wealth, no political influence."

James shook his head. "I don't care about those things. I won't ask anything of you."

He kissed her hands. "Other than your unconditional love."

She replied softly, "You can have it all."

He pulled her to him until his lips rested on hers. His hands were on her waist, squeezing her to him.

She slowly and hesitantly ran her hands through his hair, still getting used to using her body to ask for things from him.

She pulled away and exposed her neck, as if to tell him to kiss her there, and he obliged, bending down to suck on the pale skin of her throat.

Lily gasped, his lips pulling at her skin, gripping his shoulders tightly.

He unbuttoned the first button of her white shirt and pulled out her emerald heart necklace.

"You trusted Loyal Lion," he said, looking up at her. "Can you trust me?"

She nodded, "I trust you, James."

He kissed her once before he said, "As much as I want to continue, I believe that we have several meetings scheduled with students who have information about the Death Eaters."

She flushed, nodding, "Of course."

He took her hand and they left.

* * *

Remus' couldn't keep the grin off his face as he stood in the mirror in his bedroom.

Sirius was taking him on a makeup first date today. Their Hogsmeade date was fun, but since it didn't end accordingly, Sirius was going to try again. This time, they wouldn't be in public, where Remus was most uncomfortable.

Remus had a spring in his step when he left the dormitory and started to make his way to the seventh floor.

When he got there, the seventh floor was deserted.

Remus started to run with a grin on his face when he saw Sirius standing there.

Sirius laughed as Remus bounded into his arms and they spun.

He put him down and they kissed each other passionately for several seconds.

Remus pulled back first. "I am excited for what you have in store for us!"

Sirius smirked. "You better. I spent hours trying to come up with ways to impress _the_ Remus Lupin."

Remus hummed and turned away teasingly. "I can always find another boyfriend."

Sirius pulled him back. "Hey, no one is as handsome as me."

Remus joked, "I wonder what James is up to nowadays…"

Sirius scoffed, "Hey! He's got Evans now, and you're all mine."

He started peppering kisses on Remus' face, making the most obnoxious kissing, causing Remus to laugh.

"Okay, okay! No one is as handsome as you. Can we please go in now?"

Sirius grinned and nodded. "After you."

They turned and doors appeared.

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "I hope this room meets our _requirements_."

Remus laughed. "Feed me first, and then we can discuss that."

Sirius gestured. "Right this way."

When they entered, Remus was surprised by how cozy the room looked. Sirius was one of the most dramatic people Remus knew, so he expected something extravagant.

But Sirius had managed to make the room feel very small and intimate.

A majority of the floor was covered by blankets and pillows, and surrounding those blankets and pillows were piles of books and dishes of chocolates and fruits. The lights above the room were lit, but dim to mimic candles.

Remus walked to the blankets and knelt down to touch them.

Sirius asked, "Do you like this?"

Remus turned back to smile him. "It's wonderful."

Sirius perked up. "Then let's start reading and eating!"

The crawled onto the blankets and began to delve into the chocolates and fruits, feeding each other from time to time and sharing kisses.

Remus was surprised to find that many of the books that Sirius had chosen were his favorites, while others were ones he had been meaning to read but hadn't had the time.

So Sirius had listened to him when he walked about books, despite complaining about boring the books seemed.

Now, Sirius had his eyes closed and laid his head in Remus' lap and listened to him read.

But then Remus stopped reading.

Sirius opened his eyes. "Why'd you stop?"

Remus put the book down. "Sirius this is a very lovely date, but…"

Sirius sat up. "But?"

Remus sighed. "I wish I could give you something so you could enjoy the date, too. Our past two dates have consisted of me reading books. I want to give you something."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Do you mean…"

He looked down at his crotch before saying, "But I didn't bring protection!"

He stood up. "Wait! I'll be right back!"

Remus laughed. "I don't mean that, silly boy!"

Sirius deflated. "Oh."

Remus continued to laugh. "I am not ready for that yet. I meant something else."

He stood up as well and pulled Sirius out of the room.

"What are we doing?" Sirius asked.

Remus began to pace.

When he stopped, they walked back in.

The blankets and pillows remained, but the food was replaced with popcorn and there was now a projector at the end of the room.

"What's that?" Sirius asked.

Remus sat in the blankets and patted the spot next to him. "It's a projector, and we are going to watch what muggles call a 'movie.'"

Sirius scratched his head as he sat down. "What's that?"

Remus answered. "It's like our photos, but with sound, and it lasts for about 2 hours."

He leaned back against the pillows. "Now, we are going to watch one of the most famous love stories in the world: Romeo and Juliet."

They cuddled against the pillows, sharing the bowl of popcorn as they watched the movie.

When the movie ended, Sirius' jaw dropped.

Remus looked over. "Are you okay?"

Sirius threw his hands up. "They died!"

Remus nodded. "Unfortunately, yes."

Sirius sighed. "I hope that doesn't happen to us…"

Remus lightly hit his arm. "Hey! Don't say things like that!"

Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his cheek. "Sorry, love."

Remus leaned into him. "If that ever happens, I will murder you in the afterlife."

Sirius laughed softly. "I am counting on it."

* * *

It was evening when James and Lily had finally collected all of the letters from the students who attacked at the ball.

Again, all they could gather from the letters were strange clues that had to amount to something, but they didn't know what.

However, another piece of information was revealed.

A Ravenclaw approached them and said that a boy from her house was missing when he tried to look for his brother. The last place he was seen was one his way to the Slytherin dormitories.

When James and Lily returned to their dorm, James grabbed a chair by its back and threw it across the room.

"James!" Lily gasped. "What are you doing?"

James shouted. "A student has gone missing within in these castle walls! What if it's you next time? Or Remus? Or Sirius? Peter or Alice or Marlene?"

He clenched his fists. "I am fucking pissed!"

He threw himself onto a sofa.

Lily sat next to him. "Love, that is no reason to throw furniture."

He wrapped his arms around her. "It's just that every time we find out something worse about the Death Eaters, I just want to take you away from it."

She breathed him in. "I know, baby. But you know that the only way we can solve this is together."

He sighed. "Doesn't mean I like it."

He groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. "We are going to have to revise so many prefect schedules so that they are protected when they patrol."

Lily nodded and kissed his forehead.

And then they heard a knock at the door.

"Come in," Lily answered.

Alice popped her head in. "Can I talk to you two for a moment?"

Lily beamed. "Of course, Alice. You are always welcome! Have a seat."

Lily stood up to find some mugs to make some tea, but Alice held a hand up. "I won't be long. I just had something to give to you."

She pulled out a bottle with green liquid inside.

Lily rose her eyebrows. "What is it?"

Alice shook her head. "I was hoping you could tell me. I think it's what the Death Eaters have been using on their followers."

Lily stepped back as James shot up.

"What?" Lily gasped. "How did you get it? How do you know all of this?"

Alice explained that her AOL partner was somehow associated with the Death Eaters, and that the students who attacked the ball were somehow convinced to do it.

Lily scolded Alice. "That was very dangerous. What if that first Hogsmeade visit had turned out to be a trap?"

Alice assured her. "Fate was telling me something that night."

She gestured to the bottle. "I now I have gotten valuable information for your investigation. You're the best in our year at potions. Now you can figure it out."

Lily sighed and looked down at the green bottle. "Well, I will have to start solving what this potion is."

James rested a hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure, Lily? It could be poisonous."

Lily shook her head. "I have to try something."

She embraced Alice. "Thank you for this."

Alice hugged her back. "Of course."

When Lily pulled back, she said, "I am not comfortable with you walking back to your dorm this late at night. James will walk you back, won't you James?"

He nodded, kissing Lily's cheek and walking with Alice to the door.

When they left, Lily turned to the bookshelves.

It was time to find out what they were truly dealing with.

* * *

 **Bum, bum, bum!**

 **More potions and confusing letters! When is the nightmare going to end?**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you come back next Saturday or Wednesday*!**

 ***= I decided that the daily oneshots were too much. I was not proud of the quality and the lack of quality was due to lack of time to complete them. They ended up taking away my time to sleep, eat, and work on "Love Between the Parchment." They are now weekly and will be uploaded on Wednesdays.**


	19. Ch 19: Taking a Holiday Break

**Hello.**

 **I want to start off by saying that I am so sorry for my unexpected hiatus. I was sick, tired, and dealing with some familial issues that took greater priority. I do hope that this chapter will make up for it.**

 **Thank you to** **kringer** **and** **RavenclawLupin11** **for following my story!**

 **Thanks for the reviews!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **Shamelessnweird:** **oh my merlin! finally! merlin bless Destiny Dove.. yes n I loved wolfstar n jily as well..the part btwn jily where lily confronts James... best.. n wolfstar was so fluffy...n now as I stated in last review… now m more excited for part btwn hbp n dd... love it ! bless you! love love..**

 **Me: I am so glad that you are still here and still have so many positive things to say about my story!**

 **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged:** **I LOVE THIS! KEEP WRITING! I CAN'T STOP READING THIS!**

 **Me: I made a promise and now I am honoring it! I will not rest until this story is complete!**

 **Anonymous:** **OMGOMGOMG I don't want lily to drink it but I want to see what this potion does!OMGOMGOMG**

 **Me: Your enthusiasm gives me life!**

 **Guest: Absolutely amazing! For a second, I forgot I was reading fanfic and not another book by Rowling. The humor, speech style, descriptions-all on point**

 **Me: This is one of the best compliments I have ever received! Thank you!**

 **Astra: AHHHHHH IM SO HAPPYYY**

 **Me: Me, too! I am so glad that chapter made you happy!**

 ***Thanks for the reviews!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling. Owns. These. Characters. And. Settings.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 19: Taking a Holiday Break

Evening, December 16, 1977

Throughout Hogwarts, students tried to put their fear of the Death Eaters aside and celebrate the holidays, Carolers sang throughout the halls, Christmas trees began to pop up in every room, and mistletoe hung in every doorway, causing Sirius to pull Remus towards him every time they entered a room.

The smell of gingerbread and peppermint laced the air and the spirit of Christmas was alive at Hogwarts.

But Lily Evans was not celebrating Christmas.

No matter how many times Alice and Marlene invited her to a session of hot chocolate and gossip, or James tried to pull her outside for a snog in the snow, she would not rest until she figured out what the potion was.

A month had already passed and she still had no idea.

She tried everything. She thought that it was the Draught of Living Death, so she placed a small piece of fabric in the liquid. Nothing happened. It just floated to the bottom. And it wouldn't make much sense for the Death Eaters to have so many used tiny bottles of Living Death.

She thought that it might be Polyjuice Potion, but it didn't smell, nor did it have the correct consistency. And there was no reason for the Death Eaters to disguise themselves if they had masks.

Lily's eyes began to sting from her lack of sleep. She rubbed them and yawned.

She squinted as she looked at the clock. It was nearing midnight, and it was also nearing the holidays, and so far she had gotten nowhere with this!

She stood up, her chair banging painfully against the back of her knees.

She trudged up the stairs to her room, pulled back bed covers and hid in her bed in shame.

A little while later, she heard a knock on her door. "Love, do you want me to come in there?"

Lily burrowed her head deeper into her pillow. "James, I don't know what to do."

James answered, still behind the door, "You just need a break, is all. Can I come in?"

Lily nodded.

James chuckled. "You know I can't see you."

Lily flushed, pulling the covers over her head. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Or if I was thinking at all."

She felt the bed dip as James sat next to her, pulling her head onto his lap.

She looked up at him. He wore a wool red and gold sweater and his glasses looked misty. He must have gone outside with the boys for a snowball fight.

She sighed. "I don't know if I can do this, James. I have spent weeks on this. What am I missing?"

She clicked her tongue in irritation. "And what about those odd letters?"

She sat up only to pick one from her desk before laying back down.

She opened one up and read it to him.

 _ **Dear Bearer of The Name,**_

 _ **I hate my brother. Everyone says that he is so much better than me at school and stuff. No one even cares about me.**_

 _ **Chaser of Chances**_

 _ **Dear Chaser of Chances,**_

 _ **That's a shame. Well, I am sure we can do something about that...**_

 _ **Bearer of the Name**_

Lily huffed. "What am I supposed to do with this information? Who is the Chaser of Chances? And why is the Bearer of the Name being so cryptic?"

His fingers were cold as they smoothed the creased in her face and her eyes fluttered shut. He scratched her scalp, running through her red hair.

Slowly her headache went away.

She sat up. "Alright, James, I have to go back to work."

James rested his hands on her cheeks. "Lily, I don't like that you are tiring yourself out for this stupid potion that the Death Eaters have come up with."

Lily sighed. "James-"

He shook his head. "No, Lily."

He stared hard into her eyes. "Don't you remember what happened after the Transfiguration exam?"

Lily looked down at her lap. "It was only one incident."

He shook his head. "You're smarter than that."

He slid his hands down her arms to interlace their fingers. "Look, I want you to get your mind off of it. There's something I want to ask you about."

He swallowed nervously. "My mother usually hosts an annual charity New Year's Eve party. It's nothing formal. We just invite close family friends. I was hoping that you would be my date?"

Lily looked at him, fear in her eyes. "To meet your mother?"

James nodded, eyes beseeching.

She looked away, her face flaring. "What if she doesn't like muggleborns?"

James shook his head. "She'll love you. I know it."

He used a fingertip to turn her head towards him. "Just like I love you."

With that, he swooped in, his warm lips enveloped her. Lily melted against him. These past few weeks had taken her strength out of her, and all she could do was sink into him.

She slid her hands up his chest, relishing in the ridges of his muscles under her fingers. She clutched the wool of his sweater in her hands, pulling him even closer to her. Closer, closer.

He wrapped his arms around her, fingers splayed against her back. He kissed her slowly, languidly, savoring the scent of her.

But then the hands that held his sweater pushed him back slightly.

James opened his eyes to look at her. Her cheeks were flush, and her breaths were quick with longing, but her eyes were alert.

"The potion," she murmured.

James bent down to kiss her neck. "Later. Trust me."

And so she did.

* * *

Morning, December 25, 1977

Christmas came faster than anticipated, and Sirius just wanted it to go as quickly as it came.

Tonight was the full moon, meaning that poor Remus was laying in bed sick in his suite at the Potter manor.

He grumbled as he watched James stare off in a daze, probably thinking about visiting Lily the next day at her home in Cokeworth.

He flinched when he heard Remus cough in his sleep. He held Remus' hand a little tighter and repositioned the wet hand towel on Remus' forehead.

Sirius sighed, setting back in his seat next to Remus' bed. He considered asking James' mother if he and Remus could opt out of going to the New Year's Eve party. Remus was acting more ill than usual, and Sirius was worried that the stress of the war was causing Remus' health to suffer.

James sighed dreamily again, causing Sirius to groan. "Can you just focus on anything other than Evans for a second?"

James grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, it's just that I still can't believe she chose me."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You've been saying that for a whole month."

James sat up in his armchair, teasing light in his eyes. "You were the same way, Black."

Sirius turned back to Remus. "You're not wrong."

James starting wringing his hands. "I am also really nervous about tomorrow. What will her parents think of me?"

Sirius rubbed his chin. "Why wouldn't they like you? You're rich, smart, handsome…"

James shook his head and looked out the window. "Lily's muggleborn. I've never dated a muggleborn before. What if I don't know what to do? Do muggles still shake hands when they greet each other? What about table manners? Is it still rude to rest your elbows against the table? What if-"

Sirius straightened. "Blimey, I've never seen you this nervous before."

James sighed. "This is Lily Evans we are talking about."

He slumped back into his seat. "I should have paid more attention in Muggle Studies."

But then he jerked up. "Wait, I am a Potter. We have a library! It's not too late to start studying!"

He jumped up and ran out of the room.

Sirius smiled and shook his head.

Remus stirred from his sleep, letting out a soft cry of pain when he felt his headache.

Sirius jumped up to grab the headache potion that Mrs. Potter had made.

Sirius poured it into a cup and helped him drink it. Remus grimaced at the taste but drank it all.

Sirius put the cup down as Remus settled back into the covers, his hand reaching for Sirius'.

Remus gave him a small smile. "Good morning."

Sirius gripped Remus' hand. "Hi. Are you...going to be okay for tonight?"

Remus sighed and nodded, closing his eyes again.

Sirius traced patterns in Remus' wrists as he said, "I was thinking…"

Remus' eyes opened. "Yes?"

"That we would skip the New Year's Eve party this year."

Remus furrowed his brow. "Why? We always go. Is something wrong? Are you…"

He looked away from him. "Are you ashamed of what the guest might think of us?"

Sirius shook his head vehemently. "Of course not! It's just…"

He sighed. "You're not well enough to go."

"But Mrs. Potter is expecting us," Remus countered, "And we wouldn't want to disappoint her. This is her favorite party out of all the parties."

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "She'll understand."

Remus crossed his arms. "Well, I want to go."

Sirius argued back, "And I say no!"

Remus pulled his hand out of Sirius'. "Is this how it's going to be? You are just going to order me around?"

He turned away. "If so, we can end this right now."

Sirius turned away as well. "Fine!"

They sat in silence, but then Remus start coughing violently, his hands clutching his chest.

Sirius jumped up and rubbed his back. "Are you okay?"

Remus nodded. "Yes."

Sirius helped Remus lay back on the bed, and somehow their hands found each other again.

Sirius looked glumly at him. "I am sorry."

Remus opened his eyes and looked him. "No, I should apologize. You were only trying to take care of me."

Sirius looked down at his lap. "I just...I don't want you to think that I am like my family. Abusive."

Remus squeezed Sirius' hand. "I have never believed that."

Remus stretched out his arm to pull Sirius' head towards his and they shared a kiss.

"Alright, I won't go to the party, if it will calm you," Remus said against Sirius' lips.

Sirius broke away to reach into his pocket. "I have something for you."

Remus looked down. In Sirius' hand was a folded up piece of parchment. "What is it?"

Sirius replied sheepishly, "I know how you like books, so I tried to write you a poem. Merry Christmas."

Remus unfolded the parchment as Sirius continued to babble. "Um...I don't think it is very good, but...um…"

When Remus opened it, it said:

 _ **To my Remus,**_

 _ **I like the way you smell**_

 _ **Like chocolate and trees**_

 _ **I want you to know**_

 _ **How special you are to me**_

 _ **You are my moon**_

 _ **In the really dark night**_

 _ **I will love you forever**_

 _ **I am the dark to your light**_

 _ **Your Sirius**_

Remus stared wide-eyed at the words.

Sirius grimaced. "Is it really that bad?"

Sirius jerked in surprise when Remus burst into laughter. "What?"

Remus clutched his sides as he chuckled. "It wasn't the best thing ever written, but it was the best present I have ever received. Thank you!"

He hugged Sirius tightly, still laughing. "But of all the opening lines you could have chosen, you went with 'I like the way you smell?'"

Sirius blushed and shrugged.

* * *

Morning, Monday, December 26, 1977

James apparated in front of the house that Lily said that she lived in.

Because of the snow, he could not see the flowers that Lily said that her mother loved to grow, but he could picture them in his head. Lily talked so much about home, even when it upset her to think about her sister.

As he thought of Lily, his hand itched toward his pocket, where he pulled out the letter that he had received in which she invited him to visit her.

It said:

 _ **My Loyal Lion,**_

 _ **Even though it has only been a few days, I miss you. I was wondering if you would like to spend a few hours visiting me at my home on the day after Christmas? You don't have to if you don't want to. I know that you will have to meet my parents if you do accept.**_

 _ **Your Emerald Flower**_

He had responded right away, determined to not let her doubt him.

 _ **My Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **I do want to visit you. I love you.**_

 _ **Your Loyal Lion**_

He put the parchment back in his robes before walking up the cobblestone path to the front door.

He knocked on the door, shivering not only from the cold. This was it.

The door was pulled opened by a stern looking man. He wore a maroon sweater and grey trousers. And even though he was in the house, he wore a wool hat over his blond hair to warm his cold ears.

He looked down at James. "Who are you? What do you want?"

James stammered, "Is this-is this not the Evans' residence, sir?"

The stern man replied, "This is. What business do you have here?"

James stared at him with wide eyes. This must be Lily's father.

"Father!"

The two men looked behind Lily's father to see Lily run down the stairs. And although James was absolutely terrified of Lily's father, he couldn't hold back his attraction for Lily. She was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, red wool pants, and black fluffy boots. And around her neck, she wore her emerald necklace proudly.

Lily put her hands on her hips. "Father, I told you James was coming today."

He sighed. "But my darling Emerald, I was hoping that we could sit by the fireplace and read stories together."

Lily shook her head. "I can't. I already told you days ago that I would be spending the day with James."

She stretched up to kiss her father's cheek. "Goodbye!"

She slid her arm into James' and they turned away from the house.

They did not stop walking until they turned into what looked like a children's playground. The stairs of the structure were encased in ice, and snow had piled up at the bottom of the slide.

Lily sat down on a bench and James slid next to her.

She leaned up to kiss him, and he obliged, letting lips roam wherever they pleased. He tucked her red hair behind her ears as he cupped her face in his gloved hands and she slipped her cold fingers into his robes. He shivered as he felt the tips.

She pulled back, burrowing her face into his neck.

He held her as he asked, "As much as I am glad to see you, why aren't I meeting your parents and sister?"

Lily sighed, and for a long moment, she didn't answer.

When she did, she said, "Petunia met someone. A man from work. She says that she is absolutely in love with him. So my mother went to meet him instead."

James ran his hands through her hair. "I'm sorry."

Lily shrugged numbly. "It's okay. It's not your fault."

James looked down at her. "And it isn't your fault either, okay? You better not be blaming yourself."

Lily nodded.

They were silent until Lily said, "And I am sorry about my father. He is a tad protective."

James scoffed jokingly. "Oh, him? Don't worry. We'll have a duel, and I will naturally win, leading to him admitting that I am the best one for you, and then he and I will share beers and stories of the 'good old days' in a pub somewhere"

Lily giggled against him. "Not too many drinks or else you'll accidentally tell him about the time you tried to steal a pair of my knickers."

They both laughed.

Lily sat up to reach into her purse. "I have a Christmas present for you."

She pulled out a red box with gold ribbon.

James beamed and kissed her cheek. "You didn't have to do this."

Lily flushed, even in the frigid air. "I feel like I don't give you enough."

James rolled his eyes as he undid the ribbon and wrapping paper. "Sometimes you do too much."

Inside the box was a white cloth. When James pulled it out, he found out that it was a handkerchief with red and green intertwining borders.

Lily smiled hopefully as she said, "I sewed it myself. It is a common muggle gift that a woman would give to a man that she loves, as a token of her gratitude."

James grinned. "Thank you, love."

Before James could kiss her, Lily stood up and pulled him to his feet. "I want to show you something."

She pulled him to the opposite side of the playground, where it looked like seats suspended in the air by chains, that were also connected to a metal overarching structure.

"What are these?" James asked.

Lily brushed aside some snow on one of the seats. "This is called a swing," she replied, "and children sit on them and swing in the air."

James scratched his head before trying to sit down on it. He picked one leg up and put it over the seat so that he straddled it like he was riding a broomstick. "Like this?"

Lily burst into giggles. "No, silly. This isn't Quidditch!"

She helped him adjust himself and then walked behind him to push him. "Hold on tight," she murmured into his ear, and then she started to push him lightly, so he got used to the back and forth motion. And then she started to push hard enough that she didn't need to push any more.

He grinned, feeling his stomach jump. "This is just like flying! Only less dangerous."

Lily laughed and then sat in the swing next to him, pushing off the ground and swinging.

He rose his eyebrows. "How did you do that without someone to push you?"

She answered, "I have been practicing all my life!"

They laughed as they soared higher and faster.

And then he looked at her. "I would practice forever as long as I am with you."

And when she looked back at him, she felt herself falling in love with him all over again.

* * *

 **Yay! This chapter was so much fun to write!**

 **Again, I am sorry for my absence for the past two weeks. I have been trying to get everything together, but I hope that it will be smooth sailing from here on out.**

 **Thank you so much for reading and remember that I upload every Saturday and Wednesday!**

 ****Note: Again, for some it will obviously be earlier or later. Those in the time zones behind mine will probably see a post on a Friday while those in the time zones ahead of mine will be on the short end of the stick and won't see it until Sunday. I will try to keep it as early as possible because there are no posts on Sunday. ;)**


	20. Ch 20: New Year of Conflict

**UPDATE: I am re-uploading this because I realized that there was something I didn't address in my rush to get this uploading the first time around, so I added an extra bit of dialogue close to the end of the chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Hi. I am again really sorry about the late upload, but I am still figuring out a way to write every day, let alone on time. It is going to be late for the next few couple of weeks until I get everything under control.**

 **Thank you to** **jordanstjulian** **,** **Rania09** **, and** **claudia . hendrickson1** **for following my story!**

 **Thank you to** **jordanstjulian** **,** **Rania09** **, and** **claudia . hendrickson1** **for favoring my story!**

 **Thank you to my reviewers!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged : ****I love this too much! The Jily and Wolfstar in this are amazing! Please keep writing!**

 **Me: Thank you so much for the compliments. I do try my best with Jily and Wolfstar, the literal flagships of this Potter era!**

 **Shamelessnweird : ****This is the cutestttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt chapter in this story... N I was waiting alot for this one... N pls take care of yourself.. bless you! Love love... N I will always have positive reviews for this story because it$ my fav**

 **Me: I am sorry that I am making you wait! Just know that I am working on the quality when I am late. And thank you for telling me to take care of myself. I can proudly say that I have the kindest readers in the world!**

 ***Thanks for the reviews!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: J. K. Rowling's characters and settings are making me stay up all day and night just to write a story. Let's just get on with it!**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 20: New Year of Conflict

Afternoon, Saturday, January 31, 1977

Lily ran a hand over her pale face as she stared into the mirror in her bathroom.

James would be over any minute to disapparate them both to him home, and she couldn't stop shaking.

She was going to meet his mother. The woman who had raised James, and had been there for his every failure and success. Every heartbreak. Lily worried that she would disapprove of Lily not only because of her blood status, but because of the horrible way that she had treated him throughout their school years.

She ran a hand down her dress. It was a white, knee length dress, with sleeves that reached her elbows and a turtleneck collar. She paired it with black ankle boots and a light brown trench coat.

She tried to shake her nerves as she picked up her black purse and walked out the bathroom door.

Her parents were sitting by the fireplace in the common room. Her mother was drinking tea and her father was reading a book.

Her mother grinned, looking at her. "You look beautiful, darling!"

Lily gave her a tight smile. "Thank you, mother." There was lingering tension in the between them, due to her mother not meeting James even though she promised, and Petunia going on and on about how perfectly _normal_ her Vernon was.

Lily kissed her cheek before kissing her father's cheek.

He looked up and narrowed his eyes. "Emerald, are you sure about this? I don't like the look of that boy. His hair is far too unruly to be good news!"

Lily sighed. "Father, I promise that there is nothing wrong with him. That's just his hair."

She looked up at a clock on the wall. "I am going to be late. Goodbye!"

She quickly rushed out the door and down the porch steps, the snow sinking and crunching under her boots.

But then she heard a popping noise to her right, catching her by surprise. She was so shocked that she slipped and was falling backwards, but familiar arms caught her.

"Are you okay?" James asked, his face above hers.

She nodded, smiling as she straightened. She pulled the collar of his sweater towards her and kissed him, her lips pressing insistently on his. He groaned in surprise, but tightened his arms around her.

But then he pulled back and asked "Are you sure you're okay? Your back is really tight."

She nodded. "I am just a bit nervous to meet your mother. What if she hates me?"

James rubbed up and down her forearms. "It's impossible to hate you."

He kissed her forehead. "Let's go."

* * *

Lily opened her eyes and the first thing that she saw was an ornate golden gate.

James ran up ahead to pull the gate open.

When they walked in, Lily gaped at the manor.

A wide staircase had been wiped of snow, and they led up to tall brown doors. Large marble walls wrapped around the house, and around those walls were snow-covered bushes.

James looked at her. "What do you think?

She teased, "You lied. You didn't tell me you lived in a palace."

James laughed and pulled her up the stairs.

Her jaw dropped when they entered the house. She could fit her entire house in the foyer! Now both the walls and floor were white marble, and the ceiling was held up by tall pillars.

James wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. "I have a present for you."

He pulled her into a parlor and sat her down on a soft red velvet couch. Then he walked over a grand piano on the side of the room and took a seat. Lily perked up in her seat.

He placed his fingers over the keys and started to play.

At first, the song were thunderous and choppy. It was loud and inharmonious. Lily watched as he shut his eyes and they were scrunched tightly with concentration. His fingers were swift and violent against the piano. But then the music slowly blended together smoothly and the beautiful notes began to sing in unison.

Lily stood up and walked to the piano, leaning over the top to stare at James. His fingers still moved quickly, but now he did so delicately, down to the last note. When the song ended, Lily and James were silent until he finally opened his eyes.

"Thank you," Lily whispered, hand over her heart and tears in her eyes.

James stood up and walked around the piano to her, cupping her face. "I didn't know what to get you for Christmas. So I thought I would just show you how I feel."

Lily's hands covered his. "It's us, isn't it? In the beginning, we hated each other. Every argument felt like a storm. But then we started to see past the rain and wind-"

"And then we fell in love," James finished, pulling her to him. But before they could kiss, enthusiastic clapping sounded from the doorway. Lily whirled to see a smiling elderly red-haired woman applauding.

This must be James' mother.

Lily shrank back against James' chest.

But the woman stepped forward, a smile still on her face. "You must be Lily Evans! James has not stopped talking about ever since he came home!"

She grasped Lily's hands. "It is so lovely to meet you!"

Lily, wide-eyed, looked down at her hands in Mrs. Potter's. She didn't hate her for breaking James' heart?

James lightly nudged her forward.

Lily inched hesitantly. "You...you like me?"

Mrs. Potter tilted her in questioningly. "Why wouldn't I, dear?"

Lily looked down at her feet. "Mrs. Potter, I've…I've hurt your son."

But Mrs. Potter shook her head. "I will admit that it upset me when James was distraught, but in the end, you helped him grow up."

She walked over to James and pulled his ear playfully, and he whined in protest. "Mother!"

Mrs. Potter grinned, "My little boy was a bit spoiled by his father, who loved him too much, rest his soul. But you helped him become responsible. I don't even remember the last time I received a frantic letter from Minnie about his behavior!"

Lily perked up. "You've spoken to Professor McGonagall?"

Mrs. Potter beamed. "She and I are dear friends, and she has told me about how you and James have conducted your Head duties with the highest respect."

She pinched James' cheek, much to his dismay. "I am so proud of my baby boy!"

James pulled back and rubbed his sore ear and cheek. "Thanks, mother."

Mrs. Potter turned back to Lily and noticed her red hair. "You have red hair like mine."

Mrs. Potter gave a playful smile. "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."

Lily giggled.

Mrs. Potter looked at a clock on the wall and said, "Well, Lily, dear, we'll have to keep talking at dinner tonight."

She kissed Lily's cheek and left the room.

Lily's cheeks were aflame and she turned slowly to see James grinning.

She said softly, "That went a lot better than I expected."

James pulled her into his arms. "I told you she would love you."

* * *

While Lily and James waited for dinner to begin, he took her to the library. She had told him that she wanted to do more research on the potion. The Potter family library contained books that were even older than Hogwarts, all the way back to the very first Potter, and she hoped to find something, anything about the potion.

James left her in the library, saying that he needed to get changed from the evening.

Lily took off her coat and hung it on the back of an armchair before walking through the shelves.

Dust began to collect under her shoes as she walked further and further back. The spines were faded with age, and from the books she pulled out, the pages yellow and brittle.

Finally, she found a book that she had not found at Hogwarts. It was titled " _Identifying Potions by their Scents._ "

She carefully opened the book, the pages crinkling as she turned them. The table of contents were titled by smell, from sweet to sour to pungent and so on.

She pulled out the sample of potion that Alice had given her and smelled it.

But something very odd occured.

The more she smelled it, the more confused she became. It had a scent, but she could not figure out if it was sweet or salty. What was that scent?

She sniffed again in vain, coming up to nothing. Her head started to throb.

But then she heard a noise behind her. A creak on the floorboards.

She whirled, wand up.

Nothing.

It had to be in her head.

She put her wand back in her purse when a figure grabbed her from the left.

She shrieked and thrashed against the arms around her, but stopped when she recognized the roaring laughter.

She turned her head to see Sirius' gleaming teeth as he grinned down at her.

She slapped him.

"Ow!" He howled, pushing her away.

Lily smoothed her hands over her dress, looking for wrinkles. "Serve you right for trying to scare me, Sirius Black."

He rubbed his cheek, but kept grinning. "You have to admit that I got you good."

Lily sighed, "Where's Remus?"

Sirius turned serious **(AN: Come on, guys, I had to at least once).** "He is still recovering from his recent transformation, which is why he and I won't be at the party with you tonight."

Lily's face fell. "Oh, I am so sorry. I will remember to visit him later tonight."

Sirius smiled. "He would like that."

He turned away and said, "James told me to come and get you because dinner is about to start."

Lily smoothed down her dress again and followed him.

They met James in the hallway leading to the grand dining room. He looked so handsome, all cleaned up and his glasses polished.

"Ready to go in?" James asked, stretched an arm for her.

She nodded and slid her arm into his.

They waved to Sirius before James moved to the door.

But then it slammed open and a gorgeous woman stared them down.

She was tall, with silky blonde hair running down her back in luscious curls. She wore a tight, red dress that clung to her curves, had off the shoulder sleeves, flared out elegantly at the bottom.

Lily stared at the woman. Even though this woman hadn't said anything, Lily was intimidated. Her appearance was so different, compared to Lily. This woman's dress was a seductive red, contrasting to Lily's conservative white, and her pale skin was flawless, unlike Lily's, which were marred by freckles all over her shoulders, arms, and back.

Who was she?

James was the first to speak, "Genevieve, what are you doing here?"

His hand was tight in Lily's, and although it bothered her that he somehow knew this woman, it comforted her that he seemed to not want her here.

Genevieve's lips curled up into a sly smile, the most delicate of muscle movements. "You're late, and since your mother seems to love giving house elves breaks, she sent me to find you."

Lily grimaced. Even Genevieve's voice was alluring.

James glared at her and pulled Lily into the dining room, brushing by Genevieve quickly.

He pulled out a chair for Lily and pushed it in for her.

Then he walked to his mother and said, "Mother, can we please talk in private?"

Mrs. Potter nodded, standing up and moving with James out of the room.

Lily watched them leave and then turned back. She almost gasped.

Next to Genevieve were an older man and woman who seemed to be her parents. They were tall and blonde, just like their daughter, and shared the same bored expression when the looked at Lily, as if she were an insect.

Lily shrank in her seat. She hoped James would come back soon.

James and his mother stood in the hallway.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why did you invite the Burkes? You said this would be an informal party for only friends and family!"

Mrs. Potter, confused, answered, "But, James, they are friends of the family. You know how much the Burkes have helped me after your father passed."

James sighed. It was true. After his father died, James helped his mother through her grieving process, but when he was away at school, he could not comfort. His mother eventually found comfort in her other friends, who took her on shopping trips and spa days.

"Mother," James tried to say, "Tonight was going to be about you getting to know Lily."

Her mother waved her arms dismissively. "Oh, don't worry. I am sure they won't interfere."

"But-"

"We can't have our guests waiting," Mrs. Potter concluded, before going around James to open the door.

James sighed and rolled his eyes before entering behind her.

Lily sat up when she saw James walked in, looking at him questioningly.

He sat next to her and grasped her hand under the table. He bent down to whisper into her ear. "I had no idea that this was going to happen, but I will explain everything later."

Lily nodded.

Mrs. Potter stood up and said, "Cornelius, Roberta, and Genevieve, this is Lily Evans."

Lily stretched her hand out as if to shake their hands, but none of them rose their arms. A muscle by Genevieve's mouth twitched, as if she wanted to laugh.

Lily shrank back in her seat.

Mrs. Potter frowned, sensing the tension in the air, but continued. "Lily is James' girlfriend-"

"Fiancee," James cut in.

Lily jerked in surprise, but James didn't say anything. All he did was squeeze her hand and stare hardly at the Burkes.

Mrs. Potter gasped, and the Burkes rose their eyebrows. Even Genevieve's smile had slipped, and her eyes that were once lit with desire for James, were now icy as they darted to Lily.

"Lily isn't wearing the ring now because we wanted to surprise you, Mother," James continued, "But now seems like a good time to tell you."

Mrs. Potter beamed, tears in her eyes. "Oh, James, congratu-"

Mrs. Burke scoffed and then looked directly at Lily. "What are the names of all the Sacred Twenty-Eight?"

Lily frowned. "I am sorry, I don't know what that is."

Mr. Burke asked, "At what age does the Betrothal Ceremony take place?"

Lily meekly answered, "I don't know."

Genevieve smiled, a vicious curling of the corner of her lips, as she ordered, "Recite the Pureblood Oath sworn at every witch's debutante ball."

Lily could do nothing but shake her head.

The Burkes all shared knowing looks before turning to Mrs. Potter.

Cornelius Burke said, "Euphemia, you can't possibly expect to have James marry her, especially since she is neither a pureblood nor knowledgeable on the customs of purebloods."

Roberta Burke nodded. "Take our daughter, Genevieve, instead. She is beautiful and educated, unlike this plain, mudblood filth-"

Lily couldn't hold in her shame anymore.

The chair scraped as she abruptly stood up and ran out of the room.

"Lily!" James shouted.

Genevieve stood up. "Let her go, James. You can choose someone better than her-"

"No!" James roared, looking back at her, "She may not be a pureblood witch, but at least she had to common decency not to insult me in my own home!"

He stood up so fast that his chair fell back and slammed against the floor. "If every pureblood were as ignorant as you three, I'd rather be a muggle!"

James ran out of the room after her.

* * *

Oh, now she had done it. She had not only ruined her first dinner with Mrs. Potter, but she was now lost in the labyrinth of rooms in the Potter manor.

She ripped open doors as she continued to run through dark room after dark room, trying to flee farther and farther from the dining room as if she were trying to flee from the truth.

She was a muggleborn, and James was a pureblood. And as long as people like the Burkes still existed, she and James would get no peace.

Burning tears slid down her face, and rubbed at them furiously.

She felt like she had been running for hours when she stopped in a room that look like a parlor. She sat down on a sofa and covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking with her sobs.

"Lily? Is that you?"

Lily jerked and looked up to see Sirius. He was holding his lit wand in one hand and a book in the other.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He asked.

Lily shook her head, whimpering, "Oh, Sirius, it was horrible."

Sirius wrapped an arm on her shoulders. "Come on. Let's go talk somewhere where there is more light."

They walked until they stopped at a door that out an outline of light, meaning the light was on in the room.

Sirius whispered, " _Nox_ ," before pocketing his wand and opening the door.

Lily winced at the bright light, but peered inside.

Remus lay snugly in a bed, reading a book with one hand and holding a mug with the other.

He called out to Sirius without looking up. "Love, did you get the book that I left in the parlor?"

Sirius answered. "That's not all I brought."

Remus looked up and gasped, "Lily! What's wrong?"

Lily ran to him and hugged him, crumbling.

Sirius pulled a chair so that she could sit next to Remus, and she told them what had happened.

When she had finished, her head lay in Remus' lap, who stroked her hair and massaged her scalp.

Remus broke the silence. "Don't listen to them. They don't know what they are saying."

Sirius nodded. "Fuck that shit."

"Language," Remus hissed.

"What? It's true. Screw them," Sirius answered.

Remus went back to massaged her head. "James loves you for your character, Lily, not your blood status. And that is the most important thing. If he loves you, who cares what everyone else thinks?"

Lily sniffled in answer.

And then James burst through the door, his eyes frantic and his hair messier than she had ever seen. "Is she here?"

When his eyes landed her on hers, he raced towards her. "Lily!"

She stood up. "James!"

He crushed her to him. "I am so sorry, Lily! I had no idea that my mother would invite them."

Lily hid in his chest. "It's okay," she said.

James shook his head. "No, it isn't."

"He's right," said a voice at the doorway.

They all turned to see Mrs. Potter wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. "I am so sorry James and Lily. I should've known that they would react that way."

Lily disentangled from James and walked over to hug Mrs. Potter. "I don't blame you."

Lily turned her head to look at James, and his face was as grave as hers.

After everyone else had gone to bed, Lily and James were the only ones awake. They walked through the halls silently until they stopped in front of James' room.

"Why did you say I was your fiancee?" Lily asked, finally.

James looked down at their interlaced fingers. "Genevieve Burke and her parents have been after me for years, ever since I rejected the Betrothal Ceremony. They only want to unite our families because of the blood purity our children would have. Although the Sacred Twenty-Eight families have direct descendants who will be purebloods, there are several instances in which indirect relatives will marry a half-blood or a muggleborn. Today, the only four families that have remained entirely pure are the Potters, the Burkes, the Blacks, and the Malfoys."

He took a breath before continuing. "It would be an insult to the Burkes if I chose you over Genevieve, a muggleborn over a pureblood. I wanted them to know that I have grown tired of the games they play to try and get me to marry Genevieve. I want them to know that I am serious about you."

Lily put her hands on his shoulders, as if to stabilize herself. "But aren't you worried about the purity of your bloodline?"

James brushed his knuckles against Lily's cheek. "I am not the first Potter who has fallen in love with a muggleborn, but I will be the first to marry one. I don't care that the Potter line has been pure for centuries. I only care about being with you."

He kissed her, long and hard, hoping to convey all his love into it, hoping to convince her that he wouldn't leave her because of her blood.

After he broke away, he opened the door and Lily looked inside. She could make out outlines of Quidditch posters, drawers and closets for his clothing, and trophy cases lining the walls.

They walked inside and James found her a long T-shirt that you could change into for the night.

After they brushed their teeth and changed into their nightwear, they settled into James' bed.

His arms wrapped around her and his pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"Happy New Year, Lily."

"Happy New Year, James."

When she felt his breath even, she sighed.

She was more confused than ever. How could she and James hope to be together in the world where them being together threatened the balance of everything?

* * *

 **What to do, what to do, when the whole world is against you?**

 **We'll see what James and Lily do in the coming chapters, but it might mean that they have so sacrifice something. Or everything.**

 **I am going to change my deadline to just Saturdays, because my schedule is especially tumultuous this semester and I am going to end up spending my entire Saturday morning and afternoon finishing up writing if I have to.**


	21. Ch 21: Confusion

**Hello.**

 **Thank you for those who waited. I know that I missed last week's upload without warning or explanation, and I am sorry for that.**

 **The real reason I didn't upload was that I didn't think that this story was getting much attention.**

 **My average number of views, reviews, followers, and favorites just weren't increasing (in fact, some numbers were decreasing) and I just wasn't confident that this story was doing well anymore. It didn't seem like readers were interested anymore.**

 **But I came back because I made a promise to you guys. Maybe only 10 people will read my stories. Maybe no one will. But I have to remember that I am a writer, not a people-pleaser. I write because it is what keeps me alive. I don't write because of the numbers. I write because it's what I love to do, regardless of who loves it.**

 **So I am back, and I hope you enjoy what comes next.**

 **Thank you to Aishaflot and ScentlessPsychopath for following my story!**

 **Thank you to ScentlessPsychopather for favoring my story!**

 **Thank you to my reviewers!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **Shamelessnweird : It was so cute so cute, specially the bonding btwn siri n lily! I think it was cute... I will love to see that more... And ofc jily were cute .. i loved how u wrote lily here... And tc, no problem if u can't upload fic regularly ... M more than ready to read this fic anytime it's updated... Thnx! Love love, Take Care! :)**

 **Me: Thanks for the constant support. I know that I can always count on you to read my story even if I am late, but it is the loyal readers like you that make me want to try harder to be on time with posts!**

 **SolemnlySwearMischiefManaged : ****This brought a smile to my face. Your one of the most amazing authors and I can't wait to see what happens next. The Jily is so good in this and the little Wolfstar in this is so good as well. I want to know what happens next.**

 **Me: I am so glad that you want to know what happens next. This gave me the confidence to keep writing!**

 **Anonymous:** **Sorry I didn't review for the last one!I was busy but this chapter was so awesome!I'm surprised that James didn't hex them! I'm sorry about the problems but your writing is still as amazing as ever!**

 **Me: I completely understand! I know that everyone is very busy, me included! I am so honored that you took time out of your busy schedule to read my work!**

 ***Thanks for the reviews!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: I don't know what I would be doing if J. K. Rowling didn't create these characters and settings. So all credit goes to her.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 21: Confusion

After returning back to Hogwarts after winter holidays, Lily thought that the rest of the year would be simple.

It was their 7th year, for Merlin's sake. They were supposed to be enjoying parties and Quidditch games, sneaking down to Hogsmeade in the middle of the night and smuggling butterbeer and firewhiskey into common rooms. Celebrating their last chance to act like carefree children before they became adults.

But instead they were frantically trying to fight a war.

Lily was trying to figure out what the potion was.

Alice was trying to visit Half-Blood Prince as much as she could to try an coax an answer from him about the potion.

And recently, incidents of students harassing others started to spike. More students were being attacked by their fellow classmates, who claimed to be securing the purity of the wizarding race. Fistfights and wizarding duels alikes started breaking out.

James and Lily and the rest of the prefects were responsible for breaking them up and assigning the perpetrators into detention, or in worse cases, sending them to speak with Headmaster Dumbledore.

But even that didn't stop them. They just kept happening.

The most unnerving aspect of these incidents is that the perpetrators weren't always Slytherins, and they weren't always purebloods. People who had never once sounded like pureblood supremacists were suddenly hexing muggleborns and taunting half-bloods.

And the stress was not only affecting Lily, but it was also affecting James. The bullying has also moved to the Quidditch field. The team members were beginning to become more aggressive, purposely slamming into each other on the field. James has spent many nights at practice reprimanding his team mates or arguing with the other team captain.

To deal with the stress, James would fall into his old habits and pull pranks with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. And although Lily was fine with James enjoying himself, she began to become irritated with how late he was staying out. She knew that he was probably behind on schoolwork and prefect reports if he was coming back to the dorm so late.

But what worried her the most is that they have not been intimate ever since they got back to Hogwarts from the holidays, aside from the chaste kiss on the cheek or quick hug. There was just too much too worry about for either to be concerned with their relationship.

But Lily wondered if James was finally bored of her. What if he wasn't spending his evenings with the boys pulling pranks or at Quidditch practice, but with another woman?

* * *

Evening, Saturday, February 11, 1978

Lily had the perfect plan. If James was beginning to let his eyes wander, she had to do her job as his girlfriend and entice him back to her.

James had been out all day at Quidditch practice and at the Gryffindor dorms to see the boys.

This meant that she had the entire dormitory to herself all day.

Valentine's Day was coming, and because it was going to be on a Tuesday this year, they would be too busy, so she knew that she would have to celebrate it with him tonight.

She met with Lulu, one of the kitchen house elves, to learn how to make some of James' favorite dishes.

She decorated the common room with dim lighting, sweet scents, and cozy furniture.

She went down to Hogsmeade to buy a new dress to wear to the dinner she had planned.

When the clock struck 8:00 pm, she rushed into the shower, scrubbing and waxing everything.

She rubbed lotion on her arms and legs to make her skin smooth and soft. She sprayed perfume and made her face to look as seductive as possible.

She put on her dress and her heels before looking in the mirror.

The dress was a midnight blue halter top dress, cinched at her waist before flaring out and stopping at her mid-thigh. She wore black heels that revealed her pedicured toes, which she also did during her trip to Hogsmeade. She pulled her hair out its bun and watched the curls fall down her back.

She stared at the mirror triumphantly.

 _I can be just as beautiful as Genevieve if I wanted to_ , she thought to herself.

She hurried down the stairs as fast as she could without tripping on her heels.

She check to see if the food was still warm and that the candles were still lit. She adjusted the floral centerpiece before sitting down in her seat to wait for him.

She looked at the clock. It was 9:00 pm. _He should be in at any minute_ , she thought to herself.

It was 10:00 pm when she looked at the time again. He wasn't in the dormitory yet. This wasn't surprising to Lily. _He must still be with the boys._

At 11:00 pm, Lily was beginning to feel cold, so she put on a thick white bathrobe while she waited for James to arrive.

By 12:00 AM, Lily was ready to go out looking for him herself. He had never been out this late before. She pulled the bathrobe closer to her body as she stared at the clock. Surely the boys would never keep him this late. They must know how worried she would be if James didn't come back soon.

Lily stood up from the dinner table to stretch her legs. She walked to the sofa before settling into it.

She took another look at the clock before sighing.

He wasn't coming back.

She closed her eyes, feeling her tears fall before sleep overtook her.

* * *

"Lily, love, wake up."

Lily's eyes fluttered open to see James kneeling over her.

The candles from the dinner table had gone out long ago, and the ice cream dessert that she had to use a freezing charm while she waited from James was now melted.

She glanced at the clock. 3:04 AM.

He put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She shoved his hand away and stood up quickly, wobbling slightly because of the heels she still wore on her feet.

She moved to leave him in the common room, but he pulled her back. "Lily, what's wrong?"

She shook her head, trying to look at anything but him.

"Lily, just tell me, please," James said.

She glared at him and pulled her arm back. "Tell you? Why should I tell you anything when you don't tell me anything?"

James' brows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"You never tell me where you are going," Lily ground out, "or how late you will be out. And I let you go because I love you and I know that you need your space sometimes. But when you have the audacity to come in at 3 in the morning from Merlin knows where without telling me anything, don't think that I'll be your passive little housewife!"

"Lily, please, I..." James tried to say, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I-I tried to tell you, I was just too afraid about how you'd react if you found out I-"

Time froze.

"So it's true?" Lily gasped. "You're cheating on me?"

For a second, James was confused and shocked. But he didn't say anything. And that is when Lily knew.

Lily cried, "I have been working so hard on the potion, and stopping the fights, and the prefects' schedules, and our schoolwork, and I know that has caused me to become very busy. Sometimes too busy to give you affection. But I can't believe that you'd actually-"

Lily couldn't say the words. She feel like she was suffocating.

Lily shook her head. "I guess things haven't changed after all."

Lily pulled the robe tighter around herself and ran out of the room.

* * *

James banged on the door of the boy's Gryffindor dormitories.

When no one answered, he banged harder and shouted, "Stop kissing and open the damn door!"

He could hear annoyed groans from inside before soft light flooded out as the door opened.

Sirius rose an eyebrow. "Prongs, we just saw you. What are you doing back here?"

James sighed, "Just let me in."

Sirius stepped aside and let James walk in.

Remus sat up in Sirius' bed. Peter started to sit up as well, rubbing his eyes of sleep. He was awoken by James' shouting.

The candlelight burned by Sirius' bed, still burning from when James as left just 20 minutes ago to go back to the dorm only to find Lily angry with him.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked.

James sat in his old bed. "Lily and I...we had a fight."

He explained everything to them.

By the end, the rest of the boys sat their scratching their heads in confusion.

Peter asked first. "Wait, so why didn't you tell her the truth? That you aren't cheating on her?"

James shook his head. "I...I was too afraid to."

All the boys looked at each other in confusion.

Sirius asked. "Your girl thinks that you've been seeing other birds behind her back! Would you rather she hate you?"

James looked down at his lap. "I would hate me, too. She should hate me. I'm a fucking Potter, and I can't even save her. Even if she marries me, she'll be targeted, a Potter or not."

Remus stood up to put a hand on James' shoulder. "Prongs, why not just tell her the truth? That you've been here talking to us about how scared you are about the war? Relationships are about talking about these things."

James shook his head. "I can't. I can't tell her how helpless I am."

James put his head in his hands. "Yes, I have been distancing myself from her on purpose, because I don't want her to see me like this. The fight is here now at Hogwarts, and I can't even protect her here. How am I supposed to help her out there where Voldemort is?"

Remus shook his head. "Prongs, lying to her isn't going to solve anything. If anything, it will make it harder to protect her. She has been very stressed as of late. You must tell her the truth."

James ran a hand through his hair, shoulders slumped, not knowing what to do.

He merely turned to crawl under the covers of his old bed and tried to sleep.

After James' breathing had leveled, Remus pulled the covers up to James' chin and took off his glasses to put it on the bedside table.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw Peter take out some parchment and a quill.

Out of curiosity, Remus asked, "What are you writing, Wormtail?"

Peter jerked in surprise. He thought that Remus and Sirius were preoccupied with James.

"Nothing," he said quietly.

Sirius laughed. "Do you have a secret crush?"

Teasingly, Sirius swiped the parchment out of Peter's hand.

"Hey!" Peter cried indignantly.

Sirius smirked. "Who would you be sending secret love letters to?"

He pulled it close to his face to read it and all it said was:

 _ **Dear Wraith,**_

Sirius rose an eyebrow. "Who is Wraith?"

Remus was now listening intently, his eyebrows furrowed.

Peter snatched the parchment back. "No one!"

He shoved it under his pillow and threw himself back into his bed, going back to sleep.

After Peter's snores could be heard throughout the room, Remus rubbed his chin in thought.

Sirius walked to Remus, sliding his arms around his waist. "What are you thinking about?"

Remus put his hands on his shoulders. "I am worried."

"About James?" Sirius asked, rubbing his hands up and down Remus' back.

Remus rested his forehead on Sirius'. "And Peter."

* * *

Tuesday, February 14, 1978

James walked down the stairs to the Heads Common Room.

In his hands were a plate of cinnamon rolls. He knew that Lily wasn't eating well, and he wanted to try and tell her the real reason why he was gone.

When he got the to Common Room, his heart nearly broke.

Lily was laying on the couch with her eyes closed. Her face was red from crying and her eyes were dark from lack of sleep. Her skin was pale from not going outside. Her hair was tangled and knotted and limp, having lost its everyday shine. And she was trembling because she refused to eat.

James set down the plate on the table in front of her. "Lily, please, we need to talk."

Silence.

He kneeled by the side of the sofa and put a hand over hers. "Lily, I am sorry about not telling you the truth. I was just so afraid-"

"Please go away, James," Lily whimpered, her eyes still closed.

James shook his head. "No, Lily, I have to tell you the truth. I didn't chea-"

A knock on the door interrupted him. He cursed under his breath before opening the door. Marlene and Alice stood at the door.

Marlene glared at him, pushing past him to see Lily.

"You're going to be late for class," she growled.

Alice frowned, following Marlene.

James grabbed Alice's elbow before she could walk in fully.

He whispered harshly, "Don't tell her anything. She needs to hear it from me."

Alice nodded, and then resumed walking.

James picked up his schoolbag and turned back to Lily. Marlene was sitting on the floor next to Lily, and Alice had moved Lily's head so that it sat in her lap.

James said softly, "Goodbye Lily."

And then he turned and left.

Marlene scoffed, "The nerve of him! How does he think he can just date you and then drop you?"

Lily didn't react. She merely kept her eyes closed and tried to breathe.

Marlene continued. "Well, at least we have 7 years of terrible names to call him, right, Lily? What is it you like to call him...wasn't it… a bullying toerag?"

To the sound of that familiar nickname, Lily gave a small smile, fondness taking her back. That is what she used to call him. She hadn't known him other than for that. He was always the bully, with his band of misfits. She didn't know that he was just a boy who was acting out, who had wanted to free himself from the burden of his title.

And now that she knew who he really was, and loved him.

Her heart throbbed with despair. It was easier when she hadn't known him. Hadn't tried to know him. It was easier to hate than to love.

And now it was the most romantic day of year and she was alone.

Marlene huffed, "I am going to be late for class."

Marlene bid the girls goodbye before leaving.

Lily looked up at Alice. "Aren't you going, too?"

Alice shook her head, patting Lily's head. "I am spending the day with you."

Lily frowned. "I don't want to inconvenience you-"

Alice shushed her. "Shh, I will not have any of that. You will not be spending Valentine's Day alone. Besides, Frank is still away at training, so I won't be celebrating with anyone either."

Lily gave her a wobbly smile. "Thank you."

Alice smiled and nodded.

For several moments, they were comfortably silent. But then Lily said, "I never thought that things would be like this."

Alice rested her back against the sofa. "Fate works in mysterious ways. Maybe there is reason that your destiny was crossed with James'."

Lily sat up slowly, sighing. "Maybe this is punishment, for the way I treated him before we were Head Boy and Girl."

Alice consoled her softly. "Don't forget that he was at fault, too. He hurt you just as much as you hurt him back then."

Alice patted the top of Lily's hand. "I think that you should talk to him again," she looked pointedly as Lily, "without yelling at him. You two need to listen to each other."

Lily shook her head. "I can't."

Alice tilted her head in confusion. "Why not?"

Lily pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead against them. "It's just too much right now. I can't handle talking to him now. Not when there are so many fights to break up in the halls and so many more potions books to read to figure out what the potion is."

Lily looked up at her. "Oh Alice," Lily murmured, "I'm so tired."

Lily rested her head on Alice's shoulder and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Alice sighed. Poor Lily.

She looked at bowl of cinnamon buns, quickly growing cold, and at the stack of potions books sitting next to it. Lily wasn't getting anywhere.

They needed to find out what the potion was, quickly.

* * *

It was evening now.

Destiny's Dove shivered as she trudged through the snow yet again to see Half-Blood Prince.

She met with Half-Blood Prince as often as she could to try and get more information or clues about the Death Eaters. But each time she came, he would tell her next to nothing, saying something about "protecting her."

The entrance door of Hog's Head creaked as she opened it.

Half-Blood Prince sat in his usual spot, slouching in a chair in the farthest corner of the room.

"Have you figured it out yet?" he asked.

Destiny's Dove shook her head.

Half-Blood Prince said somberly, "Then I can't tell you anything."

She walked towards him, pleading, "But you must! Things are getting worse. Have you not seen the fights going on in the halls?"

Half-Blood Prince scowled. "I can't tell you too much."

Destiny's Dove clicked her tongue irritably. "You haven't told me enough!"

Half-Blood Prince stood up. "If I tell you too much directly, do you know what they will do to me?"

Destiny's Dove's hands shook as she waited for the answer.

"They'll interrogate me, using Veritaserum, and all of our meetings and secrets will spill out, and she will die!"

Destiny's Dove's breath caught.

He began to push past her to get to the door, but she said desperately, "The person that I have investigating your potion is getting more and more confused as the days pass. We are getting nowhere. Please, we need something. Even just little hint."

Half-Blood Prince's hand was on the knob of the door. He was going to twist it until Destiny's Dove said, "If I figure out what this potion is, I will be one step closer to saving her, and others like her. Please."

He turned back and looked her hard in the eye.

She stood her ground and secretly hoped he would say something helpful about the potion.

But then he opened his mouth and said, "The hint is I don't know."

She jerked back in surprise. "I don't know? What?"

But he was already leaving, his cloak billowing out behind him as he opened the door and walked out.

"Wait!" she shouted. "What does that even mean?"

But when she opened the door, he had already disapparated.

* * *

Back in the Heads dormitories, Lily put a hand against her forehead, her brain throbbing and her head dizzying.

She sniffed the potion again, trying to figure out its scent using the book about potions' scents that she borrowed from the Potters' library.

She groaned as she remembered. She had to return the book to James.

She stood up on wobbly legs from the table in the Common Room to walk up the stairs.

But James was already walking down the steps, determination in his stride.

"Lily," he stopped, seeing her, feeling his confidence falter.

She held up the book. "Um...I believe this belongs to you."

He looked at it, remembering where she got it from.

He rose a hand slowly to take the book, but pulled it back. "Wait, put the book down. I need to tell you something important."

Lily pursed her lips. "We don't have anything to say to each other. Just take the book."

He shook his head vehemently. "No, please, just listen to me-"

A knock at the door caused James to groan.

Lily turned and walked to open the door. "Alice?"

She looked grave. "Hi, Lily."

Lily stepped aside to let her in. "What brings you here?"

Alice put her bag down on a couch and sat down just as James walked down the stairs to join them. "I just came back from a meeting from Half-Blood Prince."

Lily gasped. "What did I tell you about doing that? He could be dangerous!"

Alice sighed. "No, he is helping us, but he wasn't very helpful tonight. He gave me a hint about the potion, but I don't actually think it is a hint."

Lily sat down in an armchair opposite her. "What is it?"

Alice rubbed her temples. "All he said was that the hint is 'I don't know.'"

Lily went rigid.

James wanted to go to her. "What is it, Lily?"

But Lily was lost in memory.

" _Oh Severus!" Lily giggled. "Can you just help me study? Our potions exam is next week!"_

 _Severus rested his back against the tree, his body shaking from laughter._

 _Lily huffed, looking out at the lake, pretending to be angry._

 _He chuckled but then said, "Okay, I'll give you a hint and I'll see if you can guess it."_

 _Lily nodded enthusiastically, always eager for a challenge._

 _He said, "Okay, the hint is: I don't know."_

" _What?" she laughed. "Severus, what kind of hint is that?"_

" _It's what the potion does to me," he said, "I makes me say 'I don't know.'"_

 _Lily tapped her chin in thought. What kind of potion would do that?_

 _She scoffed. "I don't know what it is!"_

 _He laughed. "Did you take a dose of it this morning?"_

 _She giggled. "I bet you slipped it into my goblet at breakfast!"_

 _He sighed teasingly, like a professor reprimanding a student. "Okay, I will tell you. The potion is-"_

"Befuddlement Draught," Lily whispered. _Half-Blood Prince couldn't be Severus, could it?_ She dashed the thought away. It was too convenient.

Both James and Alice looked at each other in confusion.

Lily jumped up and ran to a bookshelf, trailing her fingers over the spines quickly until she found it.

She pulled out the book and took it to a table, nearly crinkling the pages as she tried to find it.

"Yes!" she exclaimed when she found the page, reading it aloud, " _Befuddlement Draught is a potion that causes the drinker to experience a state of confusion, recklessness, and anger._ "

She put the book down and looked at them triumphantly. "That is what the Death Eaters have been sending to the students through their AOL letter!"

James rubbed his chin. "And that is why the students were so eager to attack during the ball. They were under the influence of the potion."

Alice walked over to the book, reading over the information about the potion. "Then I was right."

Lily tilted her head questioningly. "About what?"

Alice read aloud. " _Some potencies of the potion can be strong enough that just the smell of the potion can cause the effects in surrounding wizards or witches._ "

She looked up. "That is why you and James have been acting this way to each other."

Both James and Lily looked startled.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

Alice continued. "You and James have been in the same room of the potion for several months now. Just smelling it has made you two confused and anxious. In fact, I am getting a headache right now from just standing here. I will go now."

She turned to walk away, but then turned back to look at James. "Now would be a good time to tell her."

And then she left.

Lily turned to James. "What did she mean by that?"

James rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I think you should sit down."

They sat down together on a couch.

"What is it, James?" she asked.

He took a deep breath. "The truth is...I never cheated on you."

Her brow furrowed. "What? But, why didn't you say anything when I thought you had cheated on me?"

He held her hand in his and squeezed. "I am sure that potion had something to do with it. Look, I will tell you everything as soon as I can. I promise. But tonight, we are both tired, and we just made a big discovery about the Death Eaters. We still need to focus on them."

Lily searched his face for any trace of a lie only to find none.

She squeezed back. "Okay."

* * *

 **I am a little glad that I didn't upload last week mainly because this turned out better because I revised it.**

 **Thank you for those who waited, and I promise that there is more to come.**


	22. Ch 22: Darkness Solidifies

**Thank you so much for waiting!**

 **I want to apologize for not uploading in 3 weeks. I had a cold for the first two and then spend the third week catching up on schoolwork and actual work, which is why I didn't do much writing until a few days ago.**

 **I know that I promised to upload sooner and I am sorry. I know that if someone had made a promise like that to me, I would be absolutely upset and I would dramatically vow to never read their work again.**

 **But if you are still here, I would like to gift you with the next chapter.**

 **Thank you to Fluffybunnybutts76, In Love with Prongs, KlarolineJilyfan, iyrai, literallysupergirl, ravenslytherdor, and rea . lam for following my story!**

 **Thank you to Fluffybunnybutts76, KlarolineJilyfan, RavenclawLupin11, ravenslytherdor, and rea . lam for favoring my story!**

 **Thank you for the reviews!**

 ***Reviews!***

 **Shamlessnweird: Heyyy.. i missed you soo much! In fact I was going to pm you yesterday but due my busy schedule I couldn't... This chap was wowww! I mean I was feeling sad bout jily, but at the end I was in relief! N don't worry about the readers. Ik how u feel. . but this is a masterpiece. Soo pls pls pls keep writing! Tc. :)**

 **Me: Hello, old friend! I hope that you are still reading. I am definitely still writing! :)**

 **SolemnlySwearMischeifManaged:** **This chapter was amazing! I love it! Please keep writing! I can't wait to see what happens next between Lily and James!**

 **Me: Thank you so much! I am still writing and excited for you to find out what happens to Lily and James!**

 **In Love With Prongs: Very interesting! I really enjoy your take on the Marauders. Can't wait to read more.**

 **Me: In Love with Prongs, I am in love with your name! It's a pleasure to give your interpretation of the Marauders!**

 **AKBookGirl: Great chapter! When HBP gave that hint, I was so confused, but to have it tie back to Lily and Severus' old friendship was pretty brilliant. I'm glad Lily and James are getting back on track. And who is Wraith? Malfoy, maybe? Whoever it is, they're probably turning Peter towards the dark side, I bet.**

 **Me: It is always great to hear from you, AKBookGirl. You always give amazingly analytical reviews. It's nice to know the details aren't being overlooked!**

 **Edenxalicex:** **Can we have a full wolfstar chapter please xxxxx**

 **Me: Hopefully this chapter does the trick. I apologize for not including them more often. I meant to write more about them, but I have been juggling so many other aspects of the story that I completely forgot. Here you go!**

 **Ravenslytherdor: followed and favorited! I can't wait to read more of this story! I love the twists and it's overall one of my favorite fanfics( maybe i'm a bit biased because I love jily and wolfstar) keep it up! ️️️**

 **Me: I am so glad that you got attached so quickly! I do try to keep it interesting!**

 **Mlpksp2010:** **HI IM NEW TO THIS FANFIC BUT I LOVEEEEEE ! EVERYTHING FITS SO PERFECTLY INTO THE MARAUDERS CHARACTERS!**

 **Me: Thank you! I actually spent a month researching their personalities (*cough* by doing hours of reading other fanfics *cough*).**

 **Mad3line: Amazing story so far, I'm in love with everything, can't wait to see what happens next!**

 **Me: Then I hope that I won't disappoint you, but I am pretty confident you'll like this chapter!**

 **Anonymous: I love the jily in this chapter! I am soooo excited for the next chapters!**

 **Me: I am so glad you love the Jily! It was honestly the ship that introduced me to the Marauder Era, and now I can't get enough of it. Just writing a fanfic set in the Marauder Era has been on my bucket list for years.**

 **Me: And thank you to RavenLupin11 for your review!**

 ***Thanks for the reviews!***

 **Here is the obligatory disclaimer: I spent three weeks trying to write this chapter. At that rate, I would probably publish my first novel by the time I am ninety. So I couldn't possibly own these characters or settings, right? The details alone would take me a century to compose.**

 **And the story begins!**

* * *

Chapter 22: Darkness Solidifies

Sunset, Saturday, February 18, 1978

Lily and Remus watched the Gryffindor team practice, sitting in the empty stands of the Quidditch pitch and sharing cookies that they had bought in Hogsmeade earlier that day.

Remus would pick the raisins out the oatmeal cookies, and Lily would eat them in between eating chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies, picking out the nuts and giving them to him.

Every once in a while, her eyes would flit to the letter that lay in her lap.

 _ **Dear my Emerald Flower,**_

 _ **I am writing to tell you that I still remember that promise that I made to you a few days ago about telling you everything that I haven't been able to say.**_

 _ **Please meet me after my Quidditch practice this Saturday evening.**_

 _ **Your Loyal Lion**_

Lily folded the letter up and looked at the players. James was currently in a huddle on the ground with his teammates.

After a few moments, the huddle dispersed and continued practice, except for James and another player.

She could see the James' jaw clench as he argued with the other player, his grip tight on his broomstick.

Her brow furrowed as she saw the other player argue back, but more erratically. She saw the other boy's fists clench.

Her hand slipped into her pocket for her wand.

But it happened so quickly that she didn't even get a chance to cry out.

The other player had raised his fist and swung it at James.

She stood up quickly, ready to run down there, Remus following suit.

But James' reflexes were quick, and he jumped back and out of the way of the fist, the boy stumbling forward when his fist didn't crash into skin and bone.

Sirius swooped down and jumped off his broom when he was close to the ground.

Remus tensed and nearly pulled out his wand.

Siirus raced to where James and the other boy were standing and pulled the other boy's arms behind his back.

All the while the other boy kept cursing and shouting at James before wriggling out of Sirius' arms and running off the field and back to the castle.

Sirius walked up to James and put a hand on his shoulder, as if to ask if he was okay.

James nodded silently before barking at the other players that practice was over.

The players in the air, who had froze when they saw their teammate about to fight their captain, followed his command and returned to the ground to shower and change.

Lily put a hand on her chest, trying to steady her heartbeat as she and Remus cleaned up their spot in the stands before going down to meet the boys.

When Remus and Lily had reached the field, Remus ran ahead to scold Sirius for almost getting hurt, tugging on his ear and gripping his shoulder.

Lily walked slower, stopping a few feet in front of James.

Both Remus and Sirius left, Remus walking away and Sirius trailing behind, apologizing.

Both James and Lily watched the pair go until James said rubbing a hand through his hair. "I am going to go shower and then I'll come out here so we can talk."

"Wait!" Lily said, "What happened with that other boy? Why did he try to hit you?"

James' face was grim. "I'll tell you when I get out."

And then he turned and walked off the field to the showers.

Lily sighed before settling onto the field, pulling the green blades of grass out of the ground and rubbing them absentmindedly in between in her fingers as she waited.

Several minutes later, she looked up to see James walking out to the spot where she sat.

She moved to stand, but he shook his head. "Let's just sit here."

They both sat cross-legged, facing each other.

"Why did that boy try to hit you, James?" she asked.

James grimaced. "Before this year, he was one of my best Beaters, with Sirius being the only Beater who could top him during tryouts. He was a quiet but hard-working player. He had a tough childhood growing up. His mother was a witch and she had abandoned him when he was born while his father, a muggle, drank while he grieved over the loss of his wife. But even though his parents weren't truly there for him, he was a good kid."

James went on. "But this year, he started acting up, missing practices or talking back to me whenever he did show up. I've even caught him sabotaging the equipment."

Lily's brow furrowed. "Did you try talking to him?"

James shook his head. "I don't think it is much use."

He looked grimly at her. "Lily...when he was yelling at me, I smelled the Befuddlement Draught in his breath."

Lily took in a sharp breath. "Do you think his AOL partner could be…"

James nodded. "And he was yelling at me today because he kept saying that I should kick the muggleborns off the team in order to 'purify' the sport of Quidditch," James spat out bitterly.

Lily wrung her hands nervously. "What could be causing half-bloods to side with the Death Eaters? Why would pureblood supremacists want to be associated with people that they don't deem pure?"

James shook his head. "I don't know."

Lily pulled her legs up chest, resting her forehead on her knees, trying to think of possible reasons.

"Look, Lily…" James spoke up, "I didn't ask you to come to talk about Death Eaters. I wanted to talk about us."

Lily took several shaky breaths as she remembered the past week. Thinking that James was cheating on her, trying to seduce him, him confirming that he cheated, and then being trapped in the heartbreak only to have James say that he lied and had never actually cheated.

She looked up. "Then tell me. Why did you stay out so late, James?" she asked, her eyes searching his. "Why did you distance yourself from me? Why did you lie?"

James sighed. "I was...afraid."

"Of what?" she asked, taken aback. For as long as she had known him, James had never been afraid. He was many things. He could be happy or angry or sad. Always confident. But never afraid.

He couldn't look at her when he said, "I am scared of losing you."

"Losing me?" Lily replied, her brows knitted.

James nodded. "I-I've never had anything worth losing before."

Lily tilted her hand in confusion. "What do you mean?"

James sighed. "When I was young, I could have anything I wanted. A broomstick made of gold? It's mine. Ten course meals every day for a month? Done. My very own pet hippogriff? Just send the bill to my father."

James said tiredly, "Because I could get anything I wanted at any time, everything was replaceable. If I wanted another one, I would get it. Nothing was actually valuable."

He noticed a stray red hair fluttering in the wind and tucked it behind her ear. "And then I met you."

She looked up as he tilted her chin up with a finger. "You have always been, and will always be, the first thing that I am afraid to lose. Maybe it is because you didn't warm up to me easily like Sirius and Remus and Peter. Maybe it was because you were the first person I had to work for to like me."

He put both hands on her shoulders. "But over these past few months, I have come to realize that I can't protect you in this war, at least entirely. Even if I marry you, you will still be a muggleborn, and our children will be half-bloods."

James looked away. "Sometimes I wonder if it would be safer if we broke up and you went into hiding-"

Lily's back straightened. "James, how can you say that?"

She cupped his face. "You aren't leaving me. Do you understand that? We are going to fight this war together. I don't care if a Death Eater or the Dark Lord himself tries to stop us. I love you."

Tears began to trickled down her face and he pulled her close, her forehead resting against his neck as she sobbed.

Lily frowned. "James, why didn't you tell me this before?"

James looked at the ground solemnly. "I didn't want you to think I was a coward."

Lily's mouth fell open. "What?"

"James," she said comfortingly, "I would never think that."

He pursed his lips. "But you would rather think of me as a cheater?"

She pulled back to see him looking dejected as he asked. "Why did you think I was cheating on you?"

She looked down guiltily. "I am sorry, James. I should have trusted you."

"Why do you still not trust me?" he asked.

Lily sighed. "I just think sometimes that there are other people who are much more beautiful and intelligent than me. Like Genevieve."

James grasped her hands tightly. "I love _you_ , Lily! Not her. I would never leave you for that bitch."

"Language," Lily scolded, but something warmed in her heart.

She climbed back into his lap and put her forehead back under his chin.

James held her for several minutes, watching the light of the sunset change the hues of red in her hair.

Then he said, "Let's get up. I have an idea."

Lily stood up first and helped James to his feet. "What are we doing?"

James kissed her forehead. "Wait here for me."

He walked away and into the locker room.

After a few moments, he walked back out with a broomstick in hand.

James swung his leg over it and sat on it before saying, "Get on."

Lily took a step back and looked at it warily. "James, you know I am afraid of flying."

"Not after today," James replied, giving a small grin. "I am going to teach you how to fly."

Lily looked at the broomstick and then looked at the ground. "I think I'll stay here where it is safe."

He floated over to her and grabbed her hand. "Don't worry. I promise I won't let you fall."

Lily took shaking breaths as she moved to sit behind him, but he stopped her. "Sit in the front."

Lily wrung her hands nervously, certain that her fingers would be covered in blisters by the next day. "Aren't you going to demonstrate first?"

James chuckled, "How better to learn than in the face of danger?"

She lightly shoved him. "James! I am serious."

He pulled her close. "I'll protect you."

Lily huffed, but swung a leg over the broomstick. But when her hands reach to hold the stick, she started to shake again.

James put his hands over hers. "I've got you."

Lily nodded quickly.

When the broom started to rise, she squeaked in surprise, blush flowering over her cheeks when she felt him shaking behind her in laughter.

He whispered in her ear, "Hold on," before kicking off the ground.

Lily shrieked and squeezed her eyes shut.

James laughed, "Lily, it's okay! We haven't even left the field."

Lily opened one eye and almost whimpered as she looked down. They still hovered over the field, but they were as high as the tallest goal posts.

Her heart thudded against her ribs. "James, I don't think I can do this," she said breathlessly.

James shook his head behind her. "Yes, you can."

He started to bend forward, causing her to bend forward. "Lean forward when you want to go straight, and pull the broom back to slow down. Give it a try."

Lily shook her head. "What if we go too fast and we fall off of the broom?"

James' hands squeezed Lily's hands where she gripped the broom. "I can stop us at any time."

Lily took a deep breath as she bent forward and then she felt the broom jerk forward just a few inches. She gasped and sat back up and the broom stopped in mid air.

James patted her hands. "That was great. Do you want to keep going?"

Lily gave a shaky nod. "H-how do I turn?"

James demonstrated by leaning. "Bend over to the right to turn right and bend to the left to turn left."

Slowly, Lily tilted her body to the right and the broom slowly rotated until it was facing the lake and castle.

Then she leaned forward and they began to fly forward. Lily tried not to look down again, knowing she would surely faint.

Then she felt James' hands slid away from her hands and settle on her hips and squeeze her comfortingly.

Her hands started to shake again. "Wait, don't let go. You have to help me fly."

She felt him smile on the back of her head. "You are doing great on your own. Try going a little faster."

Lily kept looking ahead as she bent forward and the broom began to fly faster.

At first, she wanted to scream in fright, but then, as they picked up speed, her heart beating feverishly, she started to feel excited.

She began to laugh as the wind whistled in her ears. She was flying, and she was with James. "James, look! I can't believe I am flying!"

He shouted, glee in his voice, "I told you that you could do it! All you had to do was trust me!"

She looked down to see their reflection on the surface of the lake. Her red hair was flying wildly behind her and the sunset was sitting with the mountains, sending gold, orange and pink into their reflection.

She shouted, "James, it's so beautiful up here!"

She felt him laughing in elation behind her and she closed her eyes to savor this feeling, this feeling of soaring in the clouds in James' arms.

But then his laughter stopped abruptly, as if snatched by the wind. "Lily, look out!"

Her eyes flew open. They were headed straight for one of the towers of the castle. Lily gripped the broom and tried to pull back just as James had told her, but they were moving too fast.

"James!" she screamed.

His hands left her waist and grabbed the broom. He grunted as he yanked it back as hard as he could and suddenly they were flying vertically, the broom and their feet mere inches from the tower's wall and their bodies facing the sky.

Lily gasped when she fell back into James and he dug his feet into the footholds so that he and Lily wouldn't fall back and off the broom.

Her breath caught in her throat when the broom made it over the tower and sat horizontally again.

They were breathing hard, sitting in mid-air again.

"James?" She asked, her eyes still wide, "Can we go back to the ground now?"

He nodded and started tilting the broom down to the ground.

They were both still panting when they were close enough to the ground that Lily could put her feet flat onto the grass.

Lily climbed off the broom on wobbly legs. James swung his legs off the broomstick and then stood with broomstick standing in his hand.

Then he smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair in the way that he always did. He said lightly, trying to break the tension."See? I told you I wouldn't let you fall."

She gawked at him. And then she started to giggle, clutching her sides as laughed. His face broke into a grin and he started to laugh, too.

Lily's giggles subsided as she took in the sight of him.

His face was still red from yanking the broom back and letting her back slam into his chest, his glasses were lopsided on his face, and his hair was so windswept that it looked like he had flown through a storm.

He was the most handsome boy that she had ever seen.

She grabbed his collar and kissed him.

* * *

"Come on!" Sirius begged, tugging on Remus' arm. "Don't be angry, love! What was I supposed to do? Just let him punch James in the face?"

They stood in their dorm, Remus' body turned away from Sirius'.

Remus shook his head, still looking away. "I am sorry. I am not upset because of what you did. I am upset about what that boy did."

Sirius sighed. "This isn't the first time this has happened, and it isn't going to stop soon."

He gently turned Remus around. "But I promise I will protect you from people like him."

Remus sighed. What a Sirius thing to say. Remus knew that he would say something like that. Most people would say, "I promise I will be safe" or "It will be okay."

But Sirius was never one to shy away from the danger. Rather, he liked to jump into the darkness without any forethought if it meant protecting those he cared about.

Remus replied tiredly, "Stop doing that."

Sirius' brow furrowed. "Doing what?"

Remus moved closer, running his hands up Sirius' arms. "Acting like you aren't important, too."

Sirius gripped Remus' shoulders. "I am not acting like it. I know I am not important. _You_ , on the other hand, are the most important thing in my life."

Remus stepped back. "Stop that."

Sirius turned away and curled his hands into fists, looking down at his feet. "It's true."

Sirius' knuckles were white and his shoulders started to shake. "My parents told me that if I was going to associate myself with anyone who wasn't pure, I was as good as dirt to them. I lived my entire life thinking that if I could just talk to them, convince them to see people as people, they would accept me."

Sirius scoffed, "I'm so worthless that I couldn't even convince my parents to love me."

Remus walked around Sirius and cupped his face. "Don't," Remus begged.

Sirius looked into Remus' eyes. "Don't what?"

He replied, "Don't collapse into past."

Remus squeezed Sirius' shoulders. "At the beginning of this year, all you wanted was revenge. And that wasn't you. That was your parents inside of you. But you were able to get away from them. And now you want something better."

Sirius frowned. "And what is that?"

Remus said softly, "Justice."

Sirius let out a shaky breath, and his forehead fell on Remus' shoulder. "Thank you," he choked out.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' midsection as they embraced in the middle of their dorm.

After several minutes, Sirius raised his head and looked at Remus despairingly. "I'm sorry about that."

Remus shook his head, saying softly, "You don't have to apologize for being human."

His arms pulled out from under Sirius' to let his fingers trail across Sirius' shoulders until they tangled in the hair on the back of Sirius' neck.

"I'm scared," Remus murmured. "I just want it all to stop. I just want every single person who wants to hurt us to just go away."

Sirius sighed and rested his forehead on Remus'. There was no easy way to stop the onslaught of the world against them.

Suddenly, Remus stretched up to kiss him, his lips quick and insistent over Sirius'.

Sirius was just as eager, reciprocating easily.

Remus' fingers locked onto Sirius' scalp as Sirius bunched up the back of Remus' shirt in his fingers.

They were pressed so close that their chests were crushed together. Remus could feel Sirius' heart beat against his chest, and Sirius could feel Remus'. It was almost as if they shared the same heart.

Remus let out a desperate sound when Sirius' tongue ran over Remus' lips. In response, Remus lightly nibbled on Sirius' lower lip, causing Sirius to groan.

Remus jumped up to wrap his legs around Sirius' waist and Sirius carried him effortlessly to the bed.

After Sirius gently laid Remus on the bed, he climbed on top of him, ready to just snog him until their lips were swollen.

Then Remus did something unexpected.

He pulled his sweater over his head and threw it across the room.

Sirius' eyes were wide as he took in the sight of Remus, half-naked in his bed. Remus was panting, his chest rising quickly and flushed red from their kisses.

 _Damn,_ Sirius thought, _he looks amazing against my bedsheets._

Then Remus began to unbutton his pants.

Sirius jerked in surprise. "What are you doing?!"

Remus looked at him in confusion. "Taking my pants off."

Sirius nearly choked. "Why?"

Remus leaned up to kiss Sirius and whispered breathlessly against his lips, "Make love to me, Sirius."

Sirius pulled back in alarm. "What? Why?"

Remus pulled needily at Sirius' collar, starting to unbutton the shirt. "Please. We don't have a lot of time."

Sirius' hands closed over Remus' to stop him from unbuttoning further. "Time? What do you mean we don't have enough time?"

Remus replied, "We don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. You could very well walk out of this dorm and find a wand pointed at your heart. I could walk out and find myself on a train to Azkaban for being a werewolf. We need to do this before it's too late."

Sirius' jaw slackened. When he didn't move, Remus took it as acceptance and started to unbutton his own pants again.

Sirius quickly closed his fingers over Remus' hands to stop him. "No, wait! We can't do this!"

Remus frowned before his eyes fell. "Is it… is it because of my appearance?"

Remus instinctively began to put his arms around his chest, trying to hide the scars from years of transformations.

Sirius pulled those arms away. "No, it's not that!"

He bent down to kiss Remus' scars. "Believe me. You are _gorgeous_."

He bent up to look at Remus. "But I don't think we should make love with each other until we are ready."

Remus held onto Sirius' forearms. "But what if something happens?"

Sirius' jaw tightened. "Nothing will happen. I won't let anything happen to you or me or James or Peter or Lily."

Sirius sighed. "But we aren't going to have sex just because we are afraid. We are going to do it when it is right for us, when we want to do it."

Remus nodded. "Okay."

Sirius rolled over so that his back flat on the bed and Remus was curled into Sirius' side. Remus' forehead felt warm against Sirius' neck, and Sirius bent down to kiss the heated skin.

Remus sighed. "I just want everything to be alright again."

Sirius squeezed Remus. "It will be."

Remus burrowed closer as the two began to fall asleep.

* * *

Evening, Saturday, February 25, 1978

Just a week had passed since the incident at Quidditch practice.

Lily, Alice, and the rest of the Marauders sat in the Heads Common room.

They had all decided to order food from the kitchens rather than have dinner in the Great Hall in order to have some privacy while they studied the letters from the investigation.

James put down his goblet of pumpkin juice to look over a letter.

 _ **Blood is spoiled when mixed with filth. I have no desire to "make friends" with mudbloods or mudblood supporters. If you align yourself with filth, don't waste your ink. Dirty blood deserves no companion.**_

James cleared his throat before saying. "We know two things for certain. One, every recipient of the letters received regular doses of the Befuddlement Draught. And two, every Death Eater sent their AOL partner this letter."

Remus studied the letter. "What would be the point of sending out the same letter to multiple people?"

Sirius pursed his lips. "It's not so much a letter but an advertisement. They want to let people know that they are recruiting."

"Something isn't adding up, though," Alice said, "So we know that they received the letter and the potion. What would convince them to believe the letter and drink the potion? It's not like they were forced to believe and drink."

Sirius replied, "Does it matter? They have the letter and the potion. Isn't that proof enough?"

Remus shook his head, "But we don't need to just report this. We need to figure out how to prevent this. Students are still getting letters from Death Eaters and they are still taking the potion. We need to figure out what is causing them to drink the potion in the first place so we can prevent others from doing the same."

James rubbed his chin. "A majority of the new recruits weren't even pure-blooded, too. Why would they fight for a side that hates them?"

The room was silent except for the sound of Peter munching through a bowl of crisps.

As they continued to talk, Lily was listening to the conversation, but was also examining the other letters, trying to find a pattern. All of these students had sided with the Death Eaters, no matter their blood status or House. They all had to have something in common.

Lily looked at the letter from when she had investigated Tamara Prince from the Hufflepuff dorms.

 _ **Dear puppylover,**_

 _ **I am sorry to hear about the argument that you had with your mother. She is just a muggle, and they are as competent as dirt.**_

 _ **But don't worry. Once we find him, you'll be free from your cursed fate.**_

 _ **Bloody Rose**_

Although Lily had no idea who Bloody Rose was, she knew that Tamara was puppylover, since her dorm mate had discussed Tamara's love for animals.

Lily looked at another letter between Tamara Prince and her Death Eater AOL partner.

 _ **Dear Bloody Rose,**_

 _ **Do you really think we can find my father?**_

 _ **Puppylover**_

Months ago, when Lily had first read this letter, she had investigated the whereabouts of Tamara's father. All she could find was a yearbook picture from when he went to school, and all it told her was that he was a Slytherin.

Lily put that letter aside to pick up another from from two different people. This set of letters belonged to Christopher Pickney, a 4th year pureblood Gryffindor boy. She didn't know much about him because he didn't have too many friends, but the people who knew him said that they had always seen him in the shadows. He was a quiet boy, not particularly interesting. Just ordinary.

The only peculiar thing about him was that he turned out to be one of the attackers at the ball and his brother, Dominic Pickney, had mysteriously disappeared months ago. When she had tried to find more about Dominic, all she learned from Dominic's friends was that he was distraught to learn about his brother's involvement in the attack at the ball and went to find out more.

Lily read the letter.

 _ **Dear Bearer of The Name,**_

 _ **I hate my brother. Everyone says that he is so much better than me at school and stuff. No one even cares about me.**_

 _ **Chaser of Chances**_

 _ **Dear Chaser of Chances,**_

 _ **That's a shame. Well, I am sure we can do something about that…**_

 _ **Bearer of the Name**_

Lily folded up the letter and sighed. Do what? What could they do about that? So Christopher didn't like his older brother. Would they somehow the boy magically disappear?

Lily gasped.

James put a hand over hers. "What is it, love?"

Dominic _had_ disappeared.

Lily held up the letters. "I think I found something."

She picked up Tamara's letters and explained, "Tamara Prince is not only a half-blood but a Hufflepuff, so her being a Death Eater to begin with is unlikely. Her friends described her as fun and full of life."

Lily traced a finger under the word 'father.' "But in these letters, it seems like she is desperately looking for her father."

Sirius' brow furrowed in concentration. "What do we know about her father?"

Lily replied, "Just that he was a Slytherin and is a pureblood."

Lily picked up Christopher's letter. "Christopher, on the other hand, is a Gryffindor and a pureblood. At first I thought that his pureblood status might have been why he chose to become a Death Eater, but his letters say something very different."

Remus disentangled from Sirius to look over the letter. "What does it say?"

Lily summarized, "He is jealous of the attention given to his older brother, Dominic. And then his AOL partner promised to do something about it."

"And his partner came through with the promise," Lily said, her fingers shaking, "Dominic went missing months ago."

James' jaw clenched.

Lily put the letters back in the pile. "It all makes sense now. These students didn't just read the advertisement and take the potion because they supported pureblood supremacy! They did it because they wanted something and the Death Eaters offered to give it to them."

Alice nodded. "For Tamara, it was to find her father."

Lily agreed, "And for Christopher, it was to get rid of his brother."

James stood up, "We need to tell Headmaster Dumbledore. He has to know about these letters and about the Befuddlement Draught."

Lily put a hand on his arm. "But we don't have any proof that the AOL partners told them to do anything."

Lily looked through the letters. "Nowhere in any of the letters does it say 'Drink the potion' or 'attack the ball.' It is all indirect, such as 'Well, I am sure we can do something about that…' They were smart with their words, knowing that saying anything directly could be used against them. They speak in riddles. We don't have any solid evidence, just theories."

Sirius cursed.

Remus answered, "So what can we do?"

They were silent. Peter moving to refill his goblet was the sound in the room.

Lily studied the words again to try and find any direct evidence of influence, but there was none.

Lily looked up, realization dawning upon her. "We have to go in."

Alice furrowed her brow. "What?"

Even Peter turned his ear to listen.

Lily pulled out a blank piece of parchment and began to sketch a map of the castle. "We need to sneak into the Slytherin dorms to investigate for evidence."

James jumped out of his seat. "Absolutely not!"

Lily looked up at him. "It's the only way. We can't just come to Headmaster Dumbledore with speculations. We need proof."

Remus nodded standing up. "Lily's right."

This time Sirius growled, trying to pull Remus back down in his seat. "No."

Remus turned to Sirius. "This could change everything! The world could be at peace again and you don't want to do anything about it?"

Sirius jumped up. "When it concerns you, I am not doing anything that will put you in danger!"

Remus argued back, "But we have a chance to change things-"

Lily put a hand on Remus' arm. "Please don't argue. We can come to an agreement-"

James jumped in, "And the agreement is that no one is walking down into that damned dungeon!"

Lily turned red, wanting to argue back, but Alice interrupted, "Does anyone have any better ideas?"

The room was silent.

Alice sighed. "Good. That means we can go with Lily's idea."

"But-" James and Sirius tried to say.

Alice interjected, "There is no other way. And you two know Lily and Remus. They will just try to do it themselves if you don't help."

Lily turned to James and looked at him beseechingly. "Please, James. We can end this."

Remus slipped his hand into Sirius'. "We don't know the next time they will attack. We have to do this."

James ran a hand over his face and sighed.

He shared a looked with Sirius, who nodded reluctantly.

James sat down. "Let's make a plan."

Lily started to go back to sketching a map of the castle when James grabbed it and threw it over his shoulder.

Lily protested, "James, what-"

James interjected, "I have a better one."

Alice and Lily stared in confusion at the blank parchment that James had pulled out of his pocket.

Sirius pulled out his wand and the rest of the boys began to say, " _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_."

To the girls' amazement, ink began to flower all over the blank parchment.

James announced, "Lily, Alice, I would like to introduce you to the Marauder's Map."

Lily looked him, her jaw still dropped. "How do you still manage to surprise me?"

James gave her a little smirk, "I have to keep things interesting or else you'll get bored."

They spent the rest of the evening formulating a plan, suggesting days, times, strategies, and back-up plans.

The only one who was silent was Peter.

He sat solemnly watching them talk, hiding a letter to Wraith under his arm.

 **(line break)**

 **Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.**

 **What in Merlin is that boy up to?**

 **Excuse me, I am just trying to dissolve the tension. Also, I just feel really weird since I have never uploaded on a Tuesday night.**

 **But I guess it is nice to try something new!**

 **Anyways, I bet you are wondering if I am going to upload this Saturday, March 2 since I will only have 4 days to write the next chapter. The answer: Not likely. The next chapter is going to be intense. They are going to execute their plan in the next chapter, so it has to be flawless. I will try my best to finish the chapter as fast as I can along with my other responsibilities, but there are no guarantees. Just expect an upload something this weekend.**

 **Thank you so much for reading!**


	23. Ch 23: Infiltration and Traitors

Chapter 23: Infiltration and Traitors

Evening, Friday, March 10, 1978

Emerald Flower and Loyal Lion hid against a wall next to the corridor leading to the Slytherin common rooms.

Kind Beowulf and Black Knight stood against the wall opposite them.

The halls were deserted due to it being dinnertime and a Wednesday night, meaning students were either at dinner or studying.

Emerald Flower put a walkie talkie against her mouth and whispered, "You all remember the plan, right?"

Black Knight asked, "Remind me why we have to use this weird walkie-talkie things?"

Emerald Flower rolled her eyes. "We need to be able to communicate in separate places. Besides, it is a Muggle machine, so if we get caught, our captors won't know how to use them. And there aren't any wizarding alternatives."

Loyal Lion muttered, "If only there was a spell that could have my ear listen to what your ear was listening to…"

Black Knight grinned under his helmet. "Yeah, and we could call them Extendable Ears!"

Loyal Lion chuckled, "We'll have to put that on our list of things to invent-"

Emerald Flower clicked her tongue in frustration. "Focus on the plan!"

Both boys nodded.

A beat of silence passed before Black Knight asked, "So what's the plan again?"

Emerald Flower groaned, "Merlin help me."

She sighed and replied, "Loyal Lion and I will infiltrate while Black Knight and Kind Beowulf act as our wall of defense should anyone come by. Destiny's Dove was going to join you two tonight but she said that Half-Blood Prince had important information for her tonight, so she is going down to Hogsmeade. And Wormtail has volunteered to stay behind in the Gryffindor dorms with the Marauder's Map to warn us if any Slytherins will be back from dinner early."

Black Knight nodded, "Right. Wormtail, are we clear?"

"Clear," they heard him say through the walkie.

Loyal Lion slipped a hand in Emerald Flower's and squeezed.

"Stay close," he whispered into her ear. She squeezed back.

Then she and Loyal Lion slipped out of the shadows and down the corridor leading to the Slytherin common room.

When the two approached, Loyal Lion asked, "What did Half-Blood Prince tell Destiny's Dove was the password?"

She whispered back, " _Auribus teneo lupum."_

After she uttered the password, they slipped inside.

* * *

Destiny's Dove shivered as she closed the door of Hog's Head.

Half-Blood Prince sat in his usual corner of the room, slouched in his chair.

Destiny's Dove looked out the window to make sure that no one was watching before asking, "What is it that you sent me a letter asking to see me in mere hours? I had plans that I had to cancel."

Half-Blood Prince looked at her solemnly, "I wouldn't have asked you to come if it wasn't urgent."

Destiny's Dove nodded, "Then what is it?"

Half-Blood Prince looked down at the table and scratched at the wood before answering, "There's been talk that there is going to be an infiltration attempt in the Slytherin dorms sometime this week."

Destiny's Dove froze. "Where did you hear that?"

* * *

Emerald Flower and Loyal Lion surveyed the common room in from of them. Black marble floors shone under the dim green lanterns and a pristine white chandelier. Black velvet sofas surrounded a blood red rug.

Emerald Flower wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. "Why is it so cold?"

Loyal Lion shrugged, "They could really use a fireplace."

The two tried to be quiet as they searched the common room, but they found out they didn't have to. Odd noises and echoes occasionally rang out from the walls or from up the staircase.

Loyal Lion slipped his hand into hers. "I am glad I didn't get sorted here. I would have been too scared to sleep at night."

Emerald Flower nodded and squeezed his hand before letting go to keep looking.

She found herself in front of a bookcase. She pulled off a book and opened it.

When she found nothing, she sighed and put it back on the shelf. She looked up and down the bookcase until something caught her eye.

Her eyes landed on what looked like a shriveled hand sitting upright.

Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out why it was there. She reached out and lightly trailed her fingertips over the inner palm.

She was just about to pull her hand back and then it slammed down on her wrist, holding her in place and causing her to gasp.

"James!" she whispered loudly, pulling hard at her arm but the hand wouldn't let her go.

He rushed over and tried pull her arm out but it tightened it grip on her, causing her to cry out in pain. "James, please, get it off!"

He moved to pry the fingers off, ready to rip them off, but then they released her so suddenly that she stumbled back and hit her lower back against a sofa.

She was still breathing rapidly when Loyal Lion stood in front of her and gingerly took her wrist, examining for bruises. "Are you okay?"

She was still too shocked to say anything, so she just nodded and rested her forehead against his shoulder.

Loyal Lion looked back at the shriveled hand. "Thank Merlin I wasn't sorted into here. They're sick. Why do they even have that?"

Emerald Flower shook her head, not knowing the answer.

She took a deep breath before adjusting her mask back into place and saying, "Let's just find the evidence and get out."

They started up the stairs and began to search the rooms. In the bedrooms, they found only typical things, such as trunks of clothes, unmade beds, and desks covered in parchment and quills.

It wasn't until they made it to the end of the corridor when they noticed there was one more room that they had not yet searched.

When Emerald Flower opened the door, she gasped.

Loyal Lion, who stood behind her, looked over her shoulder before saying, "Fuck."

* * *

Wormtail sat in the Gryffindor boys dorm, the map in his lap.

He watched the little footsteps of Emerald Flower and Loyal Lion move around the Slytherin dorms while the footsteps of Black Knight and Kind Beowulf remained stationary outside the Slytherin dorms.

A wand pointed at his neck and he automatically straightened and tensed.

"Have they entered?" a voice next to him asked.

Silently, Wormtail nodded, his eyes never leaving the map.

Black lipstick curled in the darkness. "Then they are as good as dead."

* * *

Black Knight and Kind Beowulf still stood in the corridor leading to the Slytherin dorms.

They kept to the shadows in case someone walked by and spotted them standing there.

Black Knight stood behind a pillar while Kind Beowulf hid behind a tapestry.

They were silent for a long time before Kind Beowulf stuck his head out and asked, "What are you thinking?"

Black Knight looked at Kind Beowulf, eyebrows going up after being pulled out of this thoughts. "I've been thinking."

"About…?"

Black Knight was silent for a moment before saying, "I know that the plan Emerald Flower made has us out here blocking anyone from coming in, but…"

Kind Beowulf tilted his head to the side. "But what?"

Black Knight looked him directly in the eye. "But...if anyone comes, I want you to run while I fight them off."

"What?" Kind Beowulf whispered incredulously. "Why would you even ask that of me? There is no way that I am leaving you-"

But Black Knight cut him off. "You don't know what the Death Eaters can do. I have seen it with my own eyes, in my own house. I don't want anything to happen to you. Promise me that you will run."

Kind Beowulf pushed the tapestry away and strode towards him. Black Knight's head darted to the end of the corridor make sure no one saw them.

Kind Beowulf grabbed Black Knight's hands in his own. "I would never leave you or our friends. No matter what."

Black Knight shook his head vehemently. "Please, just promise me you'll leave me if someone comes."

* * *

Emerald Flower didn't want to step into the room.

Loyal Lion put his hands on her shoulders from behind her and reassuringly squeezed. She took a deep breath before taking a step inside.

On one side of the room, there was a long potions table. Various flasks of colorful potions littered the table. Jars of questionable objects, from mild plant roots to parts of animals sat on the shelf above the table.

One the other side of the room was a large bookcase that seemed to have hundreds of file folders.

And in the back of the room was the most disturbing site of all. There were prison cells. And there were students in those cells, asleep.

Emerald Flower rushed to the cells and pulled on the bars, trying to open them, but they were locked. In total, there had to be at least 20 students.

Loyal Lion came up next to her. "What are they doing here?"

She shook her head, her hands starting to shake. "I don't know, but we have to get them out of here."

She called out. "Hello? Wake up! We're here to save you!"

None of them woke.

Loyal Lion tensed up. "You don't think they're…"

Emerald Flower shook her head frantically, refusing to believe that. She bent down and pulled the boy closest to the front of the cell and checked his wrist pulse.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt it. "He's still alive."

Then she rubbed her finger over the boy's lips and smelled it.

She look up at Loyal Lion gravely. "They've been given a sleeping potion."

She heard him sag in relief as well.

Emerald Flower stood up and began to survey the room. "We have to figure out how to open the cells."

Loyal Lion shook his head. "We can't."

She turned abruptly to him. "What? Why?"

He looked at his wristwatch. "Dinner is going to end in 30 minutes. That is not enough time to figure out how to open the cells, move the 20 bodies, find the evidence that we came for, and leave without running into Death Eaters."

She objected, "But-"

He put his hands on her shoulders. "I promise that we will do something. Once we have the evidence, we'll tell Headmaster Dumbledore and the aurors. They'll come in and rescue these students."

She looked at the sleeping students. Some of them were merely first and second years.

She took a shaky breath and nodded. He was right. If they ended up getting caught by Death Eaters, saving them would only lead to their deaths.

"I'm going to check the potions," Loyal Lion said.

She nodded and decided to see the files on the bookcase.

When she opened the first one, she almost dropped it.

It was a file on Dominic Pickney, the boy that had mysteriously disappeared months ago a few weeks after his brother was revealed as an attacker at the ball.

They knew everything about him. His blood status, his family tree, his class schedule. What was most disturbing was that they had hundreds of pages of reports about his daily activities.

She read one.

 _ **September 19, 1977**_

 _ **Went to breakfast in the Great Hall at 7:36 am. Had a plate of 2 eggs and four sausages.**_

 _ **Went to Herbology class from 8:06 am - 9:01 am**_

 _ **Went to Defense Against the Dark Arts from 9:06 am - 10:01 am.**_

The list of activities went on until she found the the page dated on the day he disappeared.

 _ **November 9, 1977**_

 _ **Attempted to infiltrate Slytherin dorms.**_

 _ **Captured and interrogated.**_

 _ **Administered a dose of Befuddlement Draught. Previous purpose was to recruit him.**_

 _ **Current purpose is to administer a sleep potion until further notice in order to prevent him from revealing our operations.**_

Emerald Flower froze and then slowly looked to the cells.

Sure enough, one of the students in the cell, asleep, was Dominic Pickney.

"James," she whispered in horror, her voice wavering. "Come read this."

He came up behind her and read the file.

His fist clenched. "So he didn't disappear. They kidnapped him to shut him up because he figured them out before we did."

She nodded, looking at all the other students. How did they find out? Were they friends of the attackers? Siblings? Lovers?

"I found something else," Emerald Flower heard him say.

She looked up to see a very familiar potion in his hand.

"Befuddlement Draught," she concluded, taking it from him to inspect is closer.

He nodded. "They're making hundreds of vials a day to feed their AOL partners."

Her brow furrowed. "How are they getting so many ingredients? Even Professor Slughorn doesn't own that many vials."

He held up some parchment. "These are order receipts I found on the table.. They are sneaking them in from the outside."

Her breath caught. With that many vials of Befuddlement Draught, they could confuse and enrage more than half of the students at the school.

She took several calming breaths before concluding,"This is the evidence we need. There are files on the students they kidnapped and drugged. If we take some of those files and some of these vials and present the evidence to the aurors, they will come and stop this once and for all."

Loyal Lion nodded quickly, understanding immediately, and together they started to shove vials of potion and files into Emerald Flower's satchel.

* * *

"Apparently, the group planning on infiltrating the Slytherin dorms has a mole in their midst," Half-Blood Prince replied, still looking down at the table. "Someone has been telling us about a possible attempt to break into our dorms for evidence about our operations."

He finally looked up at her. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that?"

Destiny's Dove's fists were clenched. A traitor?

"Who is this mole?" she asked.

Half-Blood Prince studied her intently before answering. "He goes by the name of Wormtail."

Destiny's Dove could not breathe for a moment. Not Peter, who always sat with the boys and earnestly listened and smiled to the conversation, who liked to buy too many sweets from Honeydukes, who always seemed far too innocent to be in the same social circle as grand mischief-makers James and Sirius.

But it made sense all too well. He was distant and moody at times, always finding an excuse to escape away to his room, missing classes or meals. If he was the traitor, and he had the map...

She had to warn them. She started frantically grabbing at her bag and digging her hands inside, praying that her walkie talkie was there.

When she found nothing, she tightened the knot on her cloak and turned swiftly to the door.

Half-Blood Prince stood up, confused. "What's wrong? Where are you going?"

She turned back and said quickly, "The infiltration attempt isn't some time this week. It's tonight!"

And without another word, she ran.

* * *

Emerald Flower shoved the last file into her satchel and watched James' back flex as he placed the vials in his bag.

She could tell that he was angry based on the tightness in his shoulders.

She tightened the strap of her satchel before walking over and putting her hands on his shoulders from behind, rubbing the tight muscles and tendons.

He let out a sigh as she worked her way down his back, massaging the tension.

She said softly, "We can end this."

He turned around and grabbed her shoulders. "Lily, when the year is over, I want you to come live with me at my manor."

Her eyebrows rose. "What?"

"There will still be Death Eaters out there even when the year ends," he continued. "There is going to be a war. It won't be safe for you to live with your family in Cokeworth. If you come live with me, I can protect you."

She looked at his hazel eyes, fierce and insistent.

She cupped his cheek. "James, this is so sudden. Please...just give me time to think about this."

He nodded and then turned to finish putting the vials in his bag.

He pulled out his walkie talkie and said into it, "We got the evidence."

He heard Kind Beowulf reply, "We're still waiting. No one has come by, but dinner's going to end in 10 minutes. We should leave soon."

Loyal Lion was about agree when he heard Emerald Flower scream.

He whirled to see a masked Death Eater holding an arm around her chest and a wand tip pressed against her temple.

Loyal Lion pulled out his wand and growled out, "Let. Her. Go."

The only thing the stranger did was grin and say, "What a night for the hunt."

* * *

Kind Beowulf and Black Knight were still arguing when they heard Loyal Lion talk into the walkie-talkie and say that they had the evidence.

Kind Beowulf was the first to reply, telling Loyal Lion that they had to hurry because dinner was ending soon.

They expected an agreement, but instead they heard him growl, "Let. Her. Go."

They both looked up at each other.

Black Knight pulled out his wand first. "Run."

Kind Beowulf took out his wand. "No."

Kind Beowulf started walking to the entrance of the Slytherin dorms when Black Knight pulled his arm. "It's not safe-"

And then Kind Beowulf did something that surprised him. He pushed him so hard that he landed on the ground, looking up at Kind Beowulf in bewilderment.

Regret flashed in Kind Beowulf's eyes, and he almost bent down to help him up, but then he turned and ran in the direction of the Slytherin dorm entrance.

"Remus!" He shouted, scrambling to get back up. But when he was back on his feet, he felt a spell slam into his back, sent him sprawling on the ground again.

When he turned, he saw three Death Eaters behind him with their wands pointed at him.

Gritting his teeth, he jumped back on his feet and pointed his wand at them.

 _Three against one isn't the best odds,_ he thought to himself. _But I have to find Remus._

The three Death Eaters began to move closer.

Black Knight tightened his grip on his wand. _I'll do whatever it takes._

* * *

Emerald Flower struggled against the arms that held her captive, trying to wriggle out from under them.

The wand pressed tighter against her face. "Keep moving and I'll have to slice up all the skin on your face."

The Death Eater ripped off her mask, the green lace shredding. She tried to turn her head away so he couldn't see who she was, but the hand holding his wand left her temple only to pull her her hair back, forcing her to face him.

"And for a mudblood, you have quite a face." His mouth got so close to her ear that she almost wanted to vomit.

She glared at him. "Let me go and maybe my partner won't do the same to you."

The Death Eater turned to Loyal Lion and sneered, "She's got a mouth. Don't you know how to train your bitch, Potter?"

Loyal Lion glared, his wand still pointed at the Death Eater, but pulled off his mask and let it drop to the floor. "I won't repeat myself again. Let her go. You're outnumbered two to one."

The Death Eater laughed. "That's what you think! We're already onto your little operation. You're not leaving the dungeons on your own."

James tried to think of a plan. His eyes flitted around the room. He could knock a bookcase of files on the Death Eater, but Lily might get caught under it with the Death Eater. He could grab something off the potions table, but he was rubbish at potions. He didn't know which was a poison and which was a healing tonic.

He gritted his teeth. He'd just have to stall until another opportunity arose. "How'd you know about our plans?"

The Death Eater laughed. "Looks like someone's got a mole."

James' expression didn't waver, but his jaw tightened. A mole? Damn it! Who was it?

He taunted James further. "Aren't you a pitiful sight? The powerful and rich Potter up against a corner with his friends being beaten outside and his bitch-"

James shot a spell at him, deliberating aiming a few inches away from his face to threaten him. "Don't call her that."

Lily struggled as the Death Eater's grip tightened as he growled, "Do that again and she'll pay for it."

Lily tried to reach for her wand, but it was deep in her satchel, and moving her hands would alert the Death Eater of her intentions.

James saw what she was trying to do and was going to continue to distract the Death Eater when a figure caught his eye.

Kind Beowulf hid behind the door and opened it just a crack to see James pointing a wand at a Death Eater. He saw James notice his presence.

Kind Beowulf put a finger to his lips and James gave the slightest of nods.

The Death Eater was talking when Kind Beowulf jumped onto the Death Eater's back. In surprise, he let Lily go and she tore away from his arms, reaching into her bag for her wand.

The Death Eater shoved Kind Beowulf off and turned to strike him, but before he could, James shouted, " _Petrificus Totalus!_ "

The Death Eater straightened before hitting the ground.

Kind Beowulf rubbed his hip, which he had fallen on, and asked, "What does this all mean?"

Lily grimaced. "It means that they are onto us."

James nodded, "We have to get out of here before they come back with reinforcements."

As the regathered their things, they told Kind Beowulf everything they learned.

Kind Beowulf pocketed his mask and looked grimly at the students in the cells. "I never thought it would get this bad."

Lily zipped up her satchel. "No one thought it would."

James grabbed her hand and replied to the two of them. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

Black Knight breathed heavily as one Death Eater hit the ground and he was left facing the remaining two.

One shot a spell at him, and he blocked it, but the second one hit him on his other side, sending him staggering and cursing in pain.

Black Knight righted himself only to be hit again.

When he finally grasped at his senses, one of the Death Eater had him shoved up against the wall with an arm on his throat while the other started to search his pockets.

He jerked against them, but his movements felt sluggish as the arm on his throat pressed tighter and he was gasping for air.

Coughing, he gasped out, "R-re…"

The Death Eater with his arm on his throat spat out, "What, traitorous scum?"

His vision filled with spots as he whispered, "R-re-re...mus…"

He didn't get a reply. The pressure on his throat disappeared, and then he felt nothing.

* * *

James pulled Lily through the dark corridors of the dungeons and Remus followed quickly behind them.

The flames of the lanterns flickered as they rushed past, their ragged breaths the only sound.

When they reached the common room, they ran through the center and reached out for the door.

But when they reached it, it wouldn't open.

James growled and yanked at the knob, but it remained locked.

Lily pulled out her wand and shouted, " _Alohomora!"_

Remus pulled at the knob, but it didn't open.

Remus turned to the other two with panicked eyes. "We have to get out of here! Sirius is out there by himself! I didn't know that they had discovered us when I left him there!"

James looked into his bag. "There has to be another way out."

He pulled out his walkie talkie. "Wormtail! Can you look at the map and find out if there are other ways out of here?"

When there was no reply, James tried again. "Wormtail?"

When there was still no reply, James shoved his walkie talkie back in his bag and cursed. "Damn it! They must have gotten to him, too!"

"What are we going to do?" Remus asked.

"Whatever I tell you to." A voice said.

They whirled to see Death Eaters coming out of secret trap doors in the walls.

Immediately, the three put up their wands.

The lips of the Death Eater in the center of the masses curled into a smirk and her eyes under the mask were alight with condescending amusement.

Before the three could do anything, Death Eaters came up behind them and pointed wands at their necks.

More Death Eaters came up and took their wands.

The three struggled against the Death Eaters as their hands were tied around their backs.

Lily winced when the rope cut too tightly into her wrist.

James growled, "What do you want with us?"

The Death Eater in the center smiled again. "Drink."

Death Eaters came up behind them and shoved a vial of potion into their mouths.

They thrashed around, trying to avoid drinking it, but then their bodies went limp.


	24. Ch 24: The Only Choice

**Hi.**

 **Has it seriously been 2 months since I talked to you guys? That's insane. It certainly didn't feel like it.**

 **I think that I got into this cycle of telling myself that I will upload soon. I would tell myself that if I didn't get it up this week, there was always next week. And I used this excuse as a crutch for why I wasn't writing. I shouldn't have done that and I am really sorry. I ended up losing a lot of readers because of my negligence.**

 **But I came back because I promised you guys I would finish this and I still care about this story.**

 **I am so very grateful for the readers who are still here and the new ones who just got here. I couldn't believe it when I opened up my statistics to see that people were still reading my stories, albeit in smaller numbers.**

 **You're all amazing and I wouldn't have made it this far without your support.**

 **And the story begins.**

* * *

Chapter 24: The Only Choice

Morning, Saturday, March 11, 1978

Sirius coughed, the movement making him shoot up in the bed that he lay in.

Two pairs of hands held him down and he fought against them, desperate to get away from Death Eaters.

"Sirius, calm down!"

His eyes shot open to see Alice and Marlene standing over him.

He thudded back down on the bed, relaxing, before shooting up again. "Where's Remus?"

He tried to get out of the bed. "Where's Remus? James? Peter? Lily?"

Marlene clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Get back in bed! You nearly died!"

She pushed him and he landed back on the mattress.

Alice sighed, not sure where to start, rubbing her temples.

"Alice," he grunted, deadly steel in his voice, "Tell me where they are. Tell me what happened."

A knock at the door interrupted them.

Marlene opened the door and Benjamin Fenwick walked in with a tray of food. "I got what you asked."

Marlene smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, babe."

He grinned and walked in to place the tray on the nightstand next to Sirius. He clapped a hand on Sirius' shoulder and said, "Eat up, mate. You took quite a beating last night."

Sirius looked down at the tray. On it was a loaf of soft bread, a bowl of steaming soup, and a cup of water.

Benjy reached into his robes and pulled out a potion. "I almost forgot to give this to you."

He placed it on the tray. "I nicked off the trolley in the Hospital Wing. It will help your throat and bring back your strength."

Sirius eyed the potion and then rubbed his throat, wincing.

He looked up at the three. "What about Remus and the others?"

Alice pushed the tray closer. "Eat."

Sirius grumbled, but ate his soup and drank the potion.

Alice wrung her fingers as she began with, "I need to tell you something about Peter."

Sirius rose an eyebrow as he slurped his soup. "What about Peter?"

Alice looked down at her feet. "Well…"

Marlene blurted out. "He's a bloody traitor, that's what!"

Sirius jerked back. "What?"

Benjy put a calming hand on Marlene's back while Alice replied. "Let me just tell you the whole story."

She told him how she discovered Peter was the traitor and how she had reacted.

Sirius sat in shock on the bed. It couldn't be Peter.

He sat up and asked, "How do you know that Half-Blood Prince wasn't lying to you? He could be double-playing us."

Alice shook her head. "He can't be. He's been helping us all year."

Sirius slumped back into the bed and put his hands on his face. How could Peter do this to them?

Alice put a comforting hand on his arm. "I am so sorry."

Several moments of silence passed by. Then Sirius jumped out of bed and slammed a fist into the wall. No one stopped him. When Sirius finally looked at them, he asked, "What happened after you found out?"

Alice squeezed his arm before saying, "I ran out of Hog's Head and tried to get to you as fast as I could. Along the way, I ran into Marlene and Benjy. I didn't want to tell them where I was going because I didn't want them in danger, but they insisted I tell them."

Benjy put an arm around Marlene when he said, "We weren't going to let Alice go down there alone."

Marlene nodded.

Alice continued, "So I quickly explained to them while we ran through the halls. When we got to the entrance of their dorms, we saw you cornered by those Death Eaters. We quickly disarmed them and knocked them out, but you were knocked out, too."

Sirius nodded. "What happened next?

Benjy jumped in. "Two of us were going to go inside while one was going to take you back to Gryffindor Tower, but we heard more coming down the hall, so we all hid together in a nearby broom cupboard."

"It was a tight fit," Marlene added with teasing snark, "You're lucky we like you."

"After they went into the dorm, we decided it was too risky to go inside. So we took you and left," Alice finished, "We've been taking care of you since then."

Sirius processed the events and cursed himself for passing out. If he had just stayed conscious, he could have run into the Slytherin dorm and rescued his friends.

He clenched his fists and set his face into a scowl. "What do we do now?"

Alice matched his expression. "We find out where they are."

* * *

Evening, Saturday, March 11, 1978

For the first time, Destiny's Dove was earlier than Half-Blood Prince.

She was sitting at the table that Half-Blood Prince often frequented during their meetings. Marlene and Benjy were present as their alter egos, Red Fox and the Tinkler. Black Knight stood against the back wall with his arms crossed and one ankled crossed behind the other, a glare on his face.

All he wanted was Remus in his arms and his friends alive.

The front door opened and he tensed.

The Half-Blood Prince stood at entrance with a blank expression on his face.

He looked to Destiny's Dove, then to Red Fox and the Tinkler, and then to him.

Sirius kept his glare, but rose an eyebrow. There was something familiar about this Half-Blood Prince.

Half-Blood Prince walked in a sat at the table, saying, "You didn't mention that there would be others here tonight."

Destiny's Dove looked at them before turning back to Half-Blood Prince. "I know. I am sorry, but it's urgent."

She continued on. "Our friends are in danger. They were captured during an infiltration attempt in the dungeons last night. Did you know about this?"

Half-Blood Prince narrowed his eyes. "I did hear that three students were caught lurking in our quarters last night, although I wasn't informed about their identities."

Alice asked further, "Well, if we give you their identities, can you help us find them?"

Half-Blood Prince was silent for several moments, eyeing all of them one by one again until his gaze landed on Black Knight. "No."

Destiny's Dove straightened. "What?"

He turned to her. "I am not telling you anything."

Destiny's Dove tilted her head in confusion. "Why?"

He scoffed. "There's no point. Your friends are dead either way. They shouldn't have been digging in places they shouldn't have been-"

Black Knight bolted forward from where he was standing and grabbed Half-Blood Prince's collar.

The girls gasped and the Tinkler tried to pull Black Knight back but the Tinkler was elbowed in his gut and sent to the ground. Red Fox shrieked and dove down to drag him out of harm's way.

"Don't you dare insult my friends!" Black Knight growled, "Tell me where they are or I'll tear you apart limb by limb!"

Destiny's Dove stood up and rushed over to them, trying to push them apart. "Black Knight, please stop!"

When Black Knight didn't let him go, she turned to Half-Blood Prince. "Please, just tell us where they are and we will go peacefully."

Half-Blood Prince glared at her and said, "I will never tell you anything if it means protecting her."

Destiny's Dove jerked back. _Her?_

Black Knight grew impatient and shoved Half-Blood Prince back so that he landed into a cluster of chairs, tumbling down onto the floor.

Half-Blood Prince stood up quickly and pulled out his wand and pointed it at Black Knight.

But before he could utter a spell, someone shouted, " _Expelliarmus!"_

Half-Blood Prince's wand flew out of his hand and into the hand of a someone at the entrance of Hog's Head.

All eyes turned to the door and Destiny's Dove gasped. "Frank?"

At the entrance of Hog's Head stood none other than Frank Longbottom. He wore a traveling cloak over is Auror apprentice robes and a stern look on his face. With his wand pointed at Half-Blood Prince, he simply growled, "Hands where I can see them."

Half-Blood Prince did as he was told and held his hand up in the air.

Frank's expression remained hard as he lowered his wand, pocketed Half-Blood Prince's, and turned to look at the rest of them.

Alice bounded forward and placed her hands on his chest, confusion still on her face. "What are you doing here?"

Frank pushed her hands away, his jaw clenching. "I should be asking you the same thing."

Alice frowned. "Frank, what's wrong?"

Frank scoffed. "I told you to be safe and this is what you do? Sneak around in the dark of night with this so-called Half-Blood Prince when Hogwarts is crawling with Death Eaters?"

Alice stepped back, a hand to her cheek, feeling as if he had slapped her, "You should have trusted that I would be safe-"

Frank shook his head vehemently, bellowing, "No, I won't have it, not when you are risking your life trying to convert _him,"_ Frank spat out, pointing to Half-Blood Prince, "to our side. You are lucky I've been tracking your location through your letters-"

"What?" Alice shrieked, her chin jutted up in defiance, "How could you?"

"And you!" Frank turned to Black Knight, ignoring what Alice had said, "Are you mad? You thought sneaking into the Slytherin dungeons was a smart idea? It was a suicide mission the first time, and it's going to be a suicide mission this time. Who do you think you are convincing her to do this?"

Black Knight bounded forward, his fists clenched at his side, yelling, "She volunteered to help me, first of all, and second of all, I don't give a damn that it could be a suicide mission. We are getting them out of there."

Frank opened his mouth to say something, but then a quick movement from the corner of his eye captured his attention.

Half-Blood Prince had run forward and grabbed his wand from Frank's pocket. Frank realized this and the two boys started to wrestle for the wand.

Both boys had their hands on the wand, so when one lost his balance, the two went tumbling to the ground, rolling around and trying to pull the wand out of the others' grip.

Alice pulled her wand out to try and help Frank, but the boys were moving too fast. If she tried to hex one Half-Blood Prince, she could end up hitting Frank instead.

Half-Blood Prince growled, "Give me back my wand, Longbottom!"

Frank shook his head, his grip still tight on the wand. "Not a chance, not when you are threatening the lives of everyone in this room!"

Half-Blood Prince let out an angry yell, but still could not remove the wand from Frank's hold.

Suddenly, Half-Blood Prince, in a desperate attempt to take the wand and run away, punched Frank in the face.

Frank howled in pain, but didn't let go of the wand. In anger, he finally yanked the wand out of Half-Blood Prince's hands and shoved him away, knocking Half-Blood Prince's mask of his face.

With bated breath, everyone watched as Severus Snape looked up at them from his position on the floor.

"Snivellus?" Black Knight exclaimed, tearing off his helmet.

"Black?" Severus spat out in disgust, standing up. "Of course your lot would be in trouble. Serves them right for trying to invade our dungeons!"

Sirius growled and stepped forward, but Destiny's Dove held an arm and blocked him.

She turned to Severus and took of her mask.

Severus, still glaring, merely raised an eyebrow and said, "You're working with Black? Never thought I'd see the day that you work with the Marauders."

As the rest of them unmasked, Alice brushed his comment aside, "Look, Severus, I know that we aren't the best of friends, but we really need your help. Lives are at stake!"

Severus crossed his arms. "The only life that matters is the one I am protecting by telling you nothing!"

Frank rose an eyebrow. "What is he talking about?"

Alice said to Frank, "It doesn't matter." She turned back to Severus. "What matters is that Lily, James, and Remus are in trouble and-"

Severus jerked back. "What? Lily's in trouble?"

Alice nodded. "Yes, she and the boys were captured last night and we need your help to rescue them."

Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at Severus. "So you are going to help me save my friends or else I'll tear you to pieces in the next 3 seconds. One-"

"I'll do it," Severus answered.

"Two-wait, what?" Sirius replied, his jaw dropped.

"I am going to help you save them,"

Sirius furrowed his brows. "But, why?"

Alice jumped in, walking forward and clasp Severus' hands. 'Thank you, Severus."

Severus nodded uncomfortably before remove his hands from Alice's.

As he began sharing what he knew, Frank pulled Alice to the other side of the room and whispered, "I am not letting you do this."

Alice pulled back. "They are our friends, Frank. We have to do something."

Frank whispered, "Leave it to the Aurors! They can take care of it."

Alice shook her head vehemently, "We don't have any proof that they were taken. The only conclusion the Aurors will come to is that they are just playing a prank or that they ran away from school."

Frank ran a hand exasperatedly over his face.

Alice put her hands on his shoulders. "Please, just...help me save them. You can protect me while we are there. Help me, and then we can talk."

Frank looked at the other four discussing plans and then back at Alice. "If you do anything reckless, I am taking you out of there."

Alice embraced him tightly and squeezed harder when she felt his arms around her. When they finally pulled away, they turned back to the others and began to strategize.

* * *

Evening, Sunday, March 12, 1978

Lily coughed violently and spat dirt out of her mouth.

Her eyes cracked opened and she took in her surroundings.

All around her were trees, and she could tell that she was in a field in the middle of some forest. Possibly the Forbidden Forest?

She groggily sat up. She could see several Death Eaters, milling about, following orders, dragging around tied up prisoners.

Immediately, she straightened and searched for James and Remus.

Her eyes latched onto two boys who were struggling against six Death Eaters. She winced as she saw two of them roughly shove James' chest against a tree trunk and grab his wrists to tie around his back.

Then she gasped when two pairs of arms grabbed her and and pulled her to her feet, tying her up as well.

"Lily!" She heard James shout for her.

She turned to see the six Death Eaters dragging Remus and James towards her. "James. Remus. We have to get out of here."

Remus' voice shook as he said, "Don't worry. We can think of something and our friends are probably looking for us-"

"Looks like the mudblood slut is finally awake," a female voice cackled.

James gritted his teeth at the name and Lily turned to glare at Bellatrix.

She continued, laughing darkly, "You know, I have managed to underestimate you. Not only have you managed to convince a pureblood to become a blood traitor and invade Death Eater affairs, but you managed to seduce one of the most eligible pureblood bachelors in Europe into your bed."

James growled and tried to bound forward only to be restrained by two Death Eaters. "Shut your mouth, Lestrange!"

Bellatrix scoffed and put a hand on her hip, "Maybe you should, blood traitor, or your precious little mudblood pays for it."

James stopped struggling but kept glaring at her.

"What do you want with us?" Lily growled at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix's lips remained curled as she said, "Answers."

Immediately, three Death Eater came up and pointed their wands at Lily while the two already holding her forced her to her knees in front of Bellatrix. They did the same to Remus. Bellatrix sauntered over to James, who was struggling against four Death Eaters now to get to Lily and Remus.

James stopped when he felt Bellatrix's wand on his throat. "So tell me, blood traitor...why did you decide to invade our dungeons?"

James forced his lips into a thin line, refusing to say anything.

Bellatrix turned to the Death Eaters pointing their wands at Lily and Remus.

Lily and Remus both gasped in pain when they felt something akin to an electric shock on their skin.

When James wasn't fast enough to respond, they felt it a second time, more powerful than the first.

It was so powerful that Lily continued shaking after it had passed, her eyes nearly rolling into the back of her head, but she fought to remain conscious.

"Stop that!" James shouted. "I'll tell you. Just stop that!"

Bellatrix smiled, "Do tell then."

James glared at her and said, "We were looking for evidence."

"Evidence of what?" Her wand tip pressed harder into his neck.

"Evidence of what you've been doing to your AOL partners," James replied, his eyes stony.

Bellatrix grinned and removed her wand from James neck. When the wands stopped pointing at Lily and Remus, the three of them relaxed only slightly.

"Oh, yes, they were fairly easy to manipulate, weren't they," Bellatrix laughed. She snapped her fingers and two Death Eaters brought forward Dominic Pickney, who everyone thought had disappeared after his brother was taken to Azkaban for attacking at the ball. He was awake now, but his shoulders slumped with exhaustion and he had a permanent grimace on his face.

She pointed to him as she said to James, "This one had a brother who wanted fame and glory. All we had to do was tell him he would have it if he drank the Befuddlement Draught," Bellatrix cackled so loudly that the birds up in the trees cawed. "What a fool. Bitter people are always easy targets."

Dominic looked down at the ground, guilt in his eyes for not saving his brother from his fate.

Bellatrix jerked her chin and the Death Eaters took Dominic away.

She turned back to James, "Do you know how many pureblood wizarding families there are?"

James narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to answer, but Bellatrix swooped in to answer, "Not nearly enough to make an army."

She grinned at the Death Eaters around them.

"We needed more people, but there weren't enough willing purebloods to support our cause," Bellatrix twirled her wand, and then pulled out a vial of Befuddlement Draught. "So the only option we had were the half-bloods."

James smiled without humor. "I never thought I'd see purebloods working with half-bloods."

"Using," Bellatrix corrected, her eyes narrowing at his interruption, "We are using them until it is time to dispose of them."

The grin returned to her face. She pointed to the Death Eaters around them. "Do you know who they are?"

They shook their heads. Bellatrix smiled darkly, "They are the half-bloods that have been taking the Draught for so long that they don't even know right from wrong anymore."

Lily, James, and Remus all looked in horror at the Death Eaters. There must be one hundred in that clearing alone.

She pocketed the vial of Draught, smiling all the way. "They are so easy to mold into our beliefs it was almost comical."

James clenched his fists. "You're sick."

She turned, glaring and snarling, "As sick as the mating between a pureblood and that filth?" Her sharp eyes darted between Lily and James.

Lily refused to look away. She would stand her ground. She was not going to be afraid of one woman.

But Bellatrix had moved on to another topic. "So our plan is simple. We've tracked every half-bloods' moods and catalogued them in our files. When we deemed them desperate and bitter enough, we convinced them to take the potion. We've recruited enough half-blood Death Eaters to fuel our army. All that's left to do is dispose of the evidence."

Her grin widened when the Death Eaters brought forward all of the sleeping prisoners that James and Lily had found in the dungeons. Many of them were shivering in fear, while a few were glaring with defiance.

She smiled with pride in her eyes at the Death Eaters around them. "This is the moment of our glory, boys."

A lone Death Eater walked up Bellatrix and said, "It's done. The dungeons have been cleaned out. There are no traces of the files or potions."

Bellatrix smirked, "Good work, Wormtail."

"WHAT?" James growled.

The Death Eater took off his mask and the three gasped as the face of Peter stared blankly at them.

"Peter?" Remus asked, "What's going on? Why are you helping them?"

Peter merely put his mask back on and turned to walk away.

Realization struck James. Peter was the mole. He was the one who helped the Death Eaters capture them.

James yelled, "Get back here, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" He clenched his fists so hard that they shook violently. "When I get you-"

"You won't," Bellatrix said cooly.

The Death Eaters that were currently holding them began to drag them to the line of prisoners.

"What are you doing?!" James shouted.

"We need to get rid of the evidence," Bellatrix shrugged. "That includes the people who attempted to reveal us."

The three, including the prisoners, were struggling against the Death Eaters.

As they dragged the three to the mass of prisoners, Lily shouted, "Stop!"

Bellatrix whirled, a snarl on her face. The Death Eaters and the prisoners stopped moving.

James whispered sharply, "Lily, what are you doing?"

Lily ignored him and stared at Bellatrix with hard eyes. "I am the one responsible for all of this. I came up with the plan to infiltrate the dungeons myself with James and Remus. If you want to punish anyone, punish me."

"No!" James shouted, "That's not true!"

"Give me Veritaserum," Lily replied, "I'll prove it."

James grit his teeth in frustration. It was true. Lily was the one who had decided to break into the dungeons, not James.

"Don't hurt James!" Lily shouted. "He's a pureblood, and you said you needed purebloods in your army. He's from one of the most influential families in the world and he can get you the connections you need for your cause!"

James was turning red with rage now. "No, don't listen to her!"

"And Remus is a werewolf!" Lily continued on. "He can fight for you, albeit only on full moons, but he is also very intelligent and an amazing duelist!"

Remus shook his head. "Please, Lily, stop. Don't do this."

Lily refused to listen. "And all of the students who found out about your operations before we did must be very intelligent. You'll need that for you army-"

"Silence!" Bellatrix shrieked.

Everyone in the clearing froze.

Bellatrix walked slowly to Lily. "I don't have time to listen to your incessant begging, mudblood!"

Bellatrix pulled out Lily's wand. "Is this your wand?"

When Lily nodded, she felt white hot pain against her cheek.

"LIAR!" Bellatrix shouted. "You may think that you are more intelligent than a muggle, but you will never be a true witch! I bet you stole this wand from Ollivanders!"

James spat out, "Don't touch her, you bitch!"

She whirled and snarled, "Don't make me reconsider my mercy towards you, Potter!"

She barked at the Death Eater holding James and Remus. "Pull them back!"

They followed diligently pulling them away from Lily and the line of prisoners.

"What are you doing?" James growled.

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes. "I am taking up the mudblood on her offer. Her life for yours."

"WHAT?" James bellowed. "NO!"

"James, please, just do what they tell you to," Lily said softly, her voice and heart breaking.

"No, you are not dying for me!" James shouted. "Let me go!"

"James, please, you have to," Lily whimpered, tears beginning to burn her eyes.

"Lily," Remus said, his eyes searching hers as he and James were dragged back.

It was the only way. The Death Eaters had destroyed the evidence, including the files and vials that Lily and James had collected in the dungeons. But not the parchment she had slipped into James' pocket when he wasn't looking.

Back in the dungeons, Lily had unearthed a document detailing the exact plans of the Death Eaters. She hid it in James' pocket in case anything like this happened. She knew out of the two of them, he was the most valuable. His blood status would always save him.

She knew he would later find it, after all of this, and expose the Death Eaters and send them to Azkaban. If she could save James so he could save the other muggleborns like her, she would do it.

Bellatrix inspected Lily's wand and said, "You've been mistreating this wand. I bet you've only been using it for silly little charms and spells. I think I'll show it was a true witch can do."

She pointed it at a cowering prisoner, a boy who looked to only be a second-year. " _Avada kedavra!"_ The boy crumpled and fell, his eyes still open but blank.

Lily screamed, "I thought you were going to save them!"

Bellatrix laughed. "Did you really think I would actually spare their lives? They invaded our quarters and they aren't nearly as valuable as a pureblood and a werewolf. _Avada kedavra!"_ This time a girl who was Lily's age fell.

"Stop!" Lily pleaded. "Don't hurt them!"

Bellatrix cackled again. " _Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra!"_

Lily, James, and Remus watched in horror as each prisoner went down, one by one.

Only Dominic and Lily were left.

Dominic looked up at James, a look of resignation on his face. "If you ever find my brother, tell him I am sorry. If I had only paid more attention to him, he wouldn't be in Azkaban and we would still be brothers."

Before he could continue further, Bellatrix shouted " _Avada kedavra!"_

Dominic's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he fell back.

Lily sobbed as she surveyed the fallen. All innocent lives taken all because they tried to do what was right.

"Bellatrix, stop this!" James begged, now more desperate than ever. "I'll do anything!"

Bellatrix merely smiled at Lily as she said, "I wish we could stick around, but the Dark Lord is expecting us soon."

She raised her wand.

Lily closed her eyes and whispered, "I love you, James."

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

"NO!" James bellowed.

The green light flashed as the spell hit her in her chest and she was thrown backwards, her last breath a sharp sound in the silence of the clearing.


	25. Ch 25: It Is Not the End

Chapter 25: It Is Not the End

It was quiet in the clearing.

James stopped breathing.

This had to be a dream. That body laying on the ground, with still-bright red hair covering her face, couldn't be Lily. They couldn't be in this field in the middle of the dark forest.

Any second, he was going to roll over and wake up and Lily would be curled up on his side, still fast asleep. The boys, including Peter, would barge into the room and start talking about pranks. Then Lily would kick the boys out and then she would snog him until they realized that they were late for breakfast.

James squeezed his eyes shut, praying it was a dream. When he opened his eyes and she was still there on the ground, his knees gave out and he screamed.

The sound was piercing and broken. His body shook as he gasped for air.

Tears began to leak from Remus' eyes as his knees gave out at well. He put his head on James' shoulder in comfort.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, threw Lily's wand over her shoulder, and put a hand on her hip in disinterest. "I thought that would be more fun."

James looked at her with murder in his eyes. He jumped up so unexpectedly that the Death Eaters holding him weren't fast enough to hold him back, and he body-slammed Bellatrix.

She gave out a strangled shout when he landed on top of her.

"James!" Remus shouted.

Since James' hands were still tied behind his back, the only thing he could think of to do was slam his shoulder into her face.

She screeched in pain as the hard bone of his shoulder collided into her mouth and nose.

Then the Death Eaters finally managed to yank him back up and away from her.

Bellatrix stood up and wiped her lip. When she found her hand tipped in blood, she pulled out her wand and growled, " _Crucio!"_

James writhed, gritting his teeth to not growl in pain. He would not give her the satisfaction.

"Stop this!" Remus growled at her.

When she did not hear him shout in pain, she snarled again, " _Cruc-"_

Her wand flew out of her hand and onto the ground next to her.

She whirled, growling, "Who did that?"

The Death Eaters eyed each other nervously, not sure who did it and not wanting to be punished.

Someone cleared their throat.

The mass of Death Eaters parted to reveal a lone figure on the other side of the clearing.

"Sorry to steal the show," the person looked up, smirking with no humor, "cousin."

"Sirius," Bellatrix spat, "come to die?"

Sirius shrugged, "No. I've come to kill."

Bellatrix hissed when figures started to walk out from behind tree trunks. "What is this?"

Alice stepped forward to stand next to Sirius, her wand pointed at Bellatrix. "Payback."

Surrounding the Death Eaters were the hundred students who Alice, Frank, Marlene and Benjy had convinced to help them. Alice let out a small smile of pride when she saw all them with the wands up, ready to fight for their friends.

"Scared, Lestrange?" Marlene taunted.

"Far from it." Bellatrix picked up her wand and shouted, "Attack!"

Death Eaters pulled out their wands and the clearing became alight with the sparks of spells.

Various shouts and screams could be heard as Sirius fought through the crowd to get to Remus and James.

"Remus!" Sirius shouted frantically, finally reaching the two boys and pulling Remus to him until they were kissing each other hard.

"Sirius," Remus sighed between the kisses, "You're here."

Sirius pulled away quickly to untie the ropes around Remus' wrist. "I'm here."

Together, they untied the ropes around James' wrists, but James only knelt on the ground, staring blankly at Lily's body.

Sirius knelt down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, brother."

James crawled over to her and pulled her body into his arms. "Just...give me some time."

Remus nodded. "We will."

Then Sirius took Remus' hand and they charged into the battlefield.

Remus pulled out his wand and Sirius looked at him pointedly. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"Try to save our friends?" Remus challenged, an eyebrow raised.

"Try to save our friends without me." Sirius replied, squeezing his hand.

A body flew past them and thudded on the ground beside them. They put their wands up.

Benjy sat up from his position on the ground and rubbed his head. "A little help here guys?"

A Death Eater laughed and the three boys turned. Three Death Eaters stalked closer and removed their masks.

Sirius and Remus immediately glared at them. In the center of the three was Lucius Malfoy, and at his sides were Fenrir Greyback and Peter.

Malfoy tsked and drawled, "Sirius...Black." He shook his head. "Actually, I shouldn't call you Black because you would tarnish the purity of that name-"

Sirius shouted, " _Stupefy!"_

Lucius managed to block it at the last second. He glowered at Sirius. "How dare you-"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "It doesn't matter what you call me, because I am going to make you regret ever hurting my friends."

With that he ran forwards and started shouting spells against Malfoy.

Remus turned to Benjy. "Can you handle Greyback?"

Benjy nodded and raised his wand.

Remus turned and met eyes with Peter. The boy stared blankly as Remus walked forward.

"I don't want to hurt you, Peter," Remus said softly, "I just want to know why."

Peter shot a spell at Remus, who had to jumped out of the way to avoid the spell.

Remus clenched his fist and shouted, " _Impedimenta_!"

Peter darted out of the way.

Remus shouted, "What happened to you?"

Peter shot a spell at him, but he blocked. "We were your friends, Peter! We were your friends for seven years! Does that mean nothing to you?"

Remus put up a shield when Peter shot another spell at him again.

Peter narrowed his eyes. "You mean the seven years where you all basically ignored me?"

"What?" Remus furrowed his brow. "We never ignored you!"

Peter rolled his eyes. "Don't lie to me! Tell me if I'm wrong. None of you even cared about where I was at all this year! While you were busy sucking off Sirius' face, James was off fawning over Lily!"

Remus faltered. Could it be true? Remus' shoulders sagged when he realized that Peter was right. Peter had been by himself while Remus and Sirius and Lily and James had gotten together. Everyone had someone. Except Peter. Their quiet, shy friend that they had brushed off to the side once romance became a part of their lives.

Remus looked at Peter with pained eyes. "Peter, you're right. I am sorry-"

Remus shouted in pain when Peter shot a spell straight into his chest, sending him back into the trunk of a tree. He lay in a ball on the ground, clutching his throbbing side.

"Shut your mouth, you liar!" Peter growled. "If you cared about me, you would have gotten out of Sirius' pants and-"

Sirius ran into him and shoved Peter to ground. "Don't talk to him like that, traitor."

Remus staggered to his feet and stumbled over to pull Sirius off of Peter.

"Don't hurt him," Remus reasoned, "It's because of us that he is who he is now."

Sirius clenched his fists. "It's because of him that you could have died tonight. He made his choice and now we have to make ours."

Sirius turned but Peter had already run away.

Sirius made a move to go after him, but Remus put a hand on his shoulder. "There are more important people to deal with."

Remus squeezed his shoulder. "We can deal with him later."

Sirius nodded grimly and the two turned to fight the rest.

* * *

James managed to stand up with Lily in his arms and her wand in his hand.

As the students and the Death Eaters continued dueling, James walked to the edge of the clearing where there was no fighting.

Almost robotically, he sagged against tree trunk, sliding down until he sat on the forest floor with his legs stretched out and Lily's body in his lap.

Sobs overtook his body as he squeezed her closer to him.

"I'm so sorry, Lily!" He cried, "I'm so sorry! I should have protected you!"

He buried his face into her red hair, the locks growing damp from his tears.

The cries and shouts of the students in battle echoed through him as he cried for her.

He smoothed her hair back so he could see her face. "I wasted so much time, playing games with you for seven years. I should have been honest. I should have taken you seriously. I'm so sorry, Lily, my love."

James kissed her forehead. "This is all my fault," he whimpered.

His head sank down onto her chest and his sobs began anew.

Then his head shot up, his eyes wide and frantic.

It couldn't be possible.

He put his ear on her chest. There was a faint thumping noise in the spot where her heartbeat was.

James' hands shook as he fumbled for his wand.

He didn't want to hope, but he couldn't help hoping anyways.

He tried to keep his hands steady as he whispered, " _Enneverate."_

He nearly dropped his wand when he saw her eyes moving beneath her eyelids.

"Lily?" He whispered, his eyes wide.

She shifted in his arms and he gasped, gently shaking her awake.

Slowly, her eyes slid open and her brows furrowed softly. "James?"

Hot burning tears trailed down his face and he grabbed her shoulders and embraced her.

"Y-you're alive!" His voice shook as he exclaimed breathlessly, "You're alive."

Her arms reached around to embrace him as well as she cried, "I am so sorry, James! I should have listened to you when you said it was too dangerous."

James kissed her cheek. "What matters is that you're alive. I love you, Lily."

Tears streamed down her face. "I love you, too, James."

She pulled back, confusion in her eyes. "Why am I alive?"

James shook his head. "I-I don't know...I heard her say the killing curse and I saw it hit you."

Lily's eyes turned to the battle in front of them. "It can wait. You must tell me what's going on."

* * *

Alice, Frank, and Marlene stood with their backs to each other as they dueled with the Death Eaters.

All around them were students valiantly fighting against the Death Eaters. But their numbers were dwindling. More and more students were becoming injured or being knocked unconscious.

This was bad.

Alice shouted over her shoulder. "We need a new plan! They are going to corner us soon! Where are Sirius, Remus, Benjy and James?"

"Here" Benjy croaked, clutching his arms, which was bleeding. Marlene gasped and bounded forward towards him. "Benjy!"

"I'm okay," he managed, "It's just a scratch. Might need some stitches, though."

"We're here, too." Sirius and Remus appeared as well, dirty but relatively unscathed.

"She's alive!" They all turned to see James running towards them holding the hand of a girl with red hair. "She's alive!"

They all gasped. The girl who was with James was indeed Lily Evans back to life.

Alice and Marlene started to cry as they raced forward to embrace her.

Tears fell from Lily's eyes as well when Remus joined them.

Alice pulled back and said, "You're alive! How is this possible?"

Lily shook her head. "I don't know, but I am so grateful to see you all here."

Together, they all surrounded Lily to embrace her.

But their joy was short-lived.

The fighting had stopped.

They looked around the clearing to see that the students had moved to their side of the field while the Death Eaters moved to the other side.

All the students huddled together and tensed as if they were all waiting for something.

Something was coming.

Slowly, the Death Eaters knelt to the ground.

The students looked at each other quizzically, but then froze when a dark figure entered the clearing from the side of the Death Eaters.

He removed his hood, and collective gasps could be heard across the field.

"Master," Bellatrix bowed.

Frank turned to Alice. "We're leaving. NOW."

James turned to Lily and kissed her hard before pulling out his wand and pushing her in the direction of Alice and Frank.

Sirius did the same to Remus. "Go."

Lily clutched James, refusing to let go. "I'm not leaving you. Never again."

Remus pulled out his wand. "I'm staying."

Alice dug her heels into the ground when Frank tried to pull her away. "I'm staying, too." Frank's eyes were stony, but he let her go and stood in front of her to protect her.

Marlene squeezed Benjy's hand. "You're not getting rid of me either."

Voldemort stepped forward slowly, his expression unreadable.

His eyes narrowed when he turned towards Bellatrix. "Is the reason that you were late to the gathering?"

His voice was hard and steely, as if he was reining back anger.

Bellatrix withered under his gaze. "I-I apologize, Master. We planned to make quick work of the evidence, but they brought reinforcements." She pointed to the students, many of them stepping back in fear of the Dark Lord's gaze.

While Voldemort looked at the students in irritation, Lily looked around at the students in admiration. They had come to save her and her friends. They had risked their lives for their Head Students. She was not going to let their sacrifices mean nothing.

She stepped forward, surprising everyone and herself, and pointed her wand directly at Voldemort. "Get out of our school or else."

Voldemort took slow steps forward until he stood in the center of the field, right at the border between the Death Eaters and the students.

"You have gall," Voldemort replied. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

"A coward who hides behind his army while threatening the lives of innocent wizards and witches?" she growled.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. His eyes darted down to Lily's hand intertwined with James'. He looked into her eyes and she fought not to flinch, her mouth in a hard line as she kept her wand pointed at him.

"You'll soon regret that, girl," Voldemort growled and pointed his wand at James. " _Avada kedavra!"_

But she was prepared this time, shouting, " _Protego Maxima!"_

A shield wrapped around all the students huddled behind Lily, several of them nearly shrieking in shock.

When Lily let the shield come down, all the Death Eaters flooded towards them like a stampede.

The sides of the battlefield collided and she darted into the mass.

"Lily!" James shouted, searching for her, but she was too far gone into the crowd of fighting.

Lily made it to the center where Voldemort stood. " _Expelliarmus!"_

He deftly blocked her assault and laughed. "Petulant girl! Did you think that you could disarm the most powerful wizard in the world?"

She grit her teeth. "You will never be the most powerful wizard in the world. Not as long as there are still people willing to defy you and your ideals."

Voldemort circled her and she did the same, her wand pointed at him.

He growled, "Miss Lestrange told me about you. The mudblood who didn't know how to mind her mouth. _Stupefy!"_

Lily darted out of the way and shouted, " _Petrificus Totalus!"_

He put up a shield and blocked it. "You are like a rat! All mudbloods are, sneaking into the wizarding world, learning our spells and using our wands! You're all thieves! _Levicorpus!_ "

Lily gasped as he was suddenly hanging upside down, her wand falling out of her hand and onto the ground. She wriggled around, trying to escape his hold, but his magic held her.

He sneered as he stepped closer to her dangling figure. "What are you without our magic, girl?"

Lily tried not to let his words affect her, but they did. Was she truly nothing without magic? What was she then, if she was not a witch? Was being lucky enough to perform magic the only special trait she possessed?

But then she looked out at the battlefield, at all the people that she loved fighting for justice. She realized that even with or without magic, with or without pure blood, she was still a person. A daughter, a sister, a friend. A lover. And that was all that mattered.

She grinned at Lord Voldemort. "I think you underestimate me. Muggleborns don't need magic to take you on."

And then she punched him right his face. He howled in pain as she fell back onto the ground, grabbing her wand and shouting " _Expelliarmus_!"

His wand sailed out of his hand and into hers.

Wandless and in pain, he stumbled back until tripped on his own feet, landing on his bottom.

Lily stood above him, her wand still pointed down at him. "Unlike you, I won't let my blood status define my worth. I am the only one who decides my own worth."

"Freeze! Drop your wands and put your hands up!"

Lily looked up to see several figures running out of the forest and into the clearing. She breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed their Auror badges.

But the relief faded away when she felt Voldemort grab his wand from her hand and disapparate.

She cursed, but turned back to the battlefield to help the Aurors capture the remaining Death Eaters.

* * *

James pushed through the sea of dueling Aurors and Death Eaters, running rampant looking for Lily.

"Lily!" he shouted, "Where are you?"

He shouted in pain when he was suddenly hit in the back with a spell. He groaned, but got to his feet to face his attackers.

His jaw clenched when he realized who they were.

Bellatrix smirked, saying, "What do you think we should do with him, Wormtail?"

Peter didn't answer, only glaring at James.

James gripped his wand tighter. "Do you ever shut your mouth, Lestrange?"

She scoffed in irritation.

James narrowed his eyes. "I am going to make the both of you pay for what you did to Lily."

Bellatrix cackled, "And how do you expect to do that? Are you going to torture us? No amount of pain is every going to make me regret killing her."

James relied, jaw clenched, "As much as I would love to do the honors of torturing you until you beg for death, I would rather let justice have its way with you."

Then he shouted " _Locomotor mortis_!"

Both Bellatrix and Peter shouted in surprise when their legs locked, rendering them unable to stand or run. They both fell to the ground.

"What is this, Potter?" Bellatrix screeched.

James rolled his eyes and pocketed his wand before dragging them by their hair to the nearest Aurors.

"Let us go!" Bellatrix shrieked.

He shoved them to the feet of the nearest Aurors and watched them get dragged away.

"James!" He turned to see a grinning Sirius and Remus run up to him. "We did it!"

Alice bounded up with Frank, Marlene and Benjy. "I knew that we could trust Severus!"

James rose an eyebrow. "Severus?"

Alice nodded. "Frank asked him to contact the Aurors."

"James," someone said softly.

He whirled to see Lily standing alone, dirty and disheveled but alive.

He ran her, pulling her into his arms.

They continued to embrace each other long after the Aurors finished capturing the Death Eaters.

* * *

Morning, Monday, March 13, 1978

Classes were cancelled as news spread about what had happened in the Forbidden Forest the night before.

The Great Hall was being used as an infirmary, for the Hospital Wing was not large enough to support all the students were required medical attention.

Lily herself sat in a cot. Although she wasn't wounded, James insisted that she be examined. James at on a chair next to her cot while her friends stood around her, waiting for the nurse to come back with her results.

"James, I am sure that I am fine. Another injured student might need this bed," said Lily.

James shook his head, refusing to listen.

Lily sighed, "James-"

"Actually, Miss Evans, there is something we should discuss."

They all turned to see Headmaster Dumbledore arrive at the foot of Lily's cot.

"Hello, sir," Lily greeted, "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

He gestured toward a piece of parchment in his hand. "A nurse informed me that she told her that you were hit by the Killing Curse last night, is that correct?"

Lily frowned, but nodded slowly. "Yes, sir, but I don't understand why I am not dead."

He nodded. "Can you re-tell me what led up to the incident? And don't leave out any details."

She told him how they broke into the Slytherin dorms, were captured, and then ended up battling Death Eaters in the middle of the Forbidden Forest at night.

He listened intently throughout, only interrupting to ask for more specific details.

When she had finished, Headmaster Dumbledore rubbed his beard in contemplation.

Then he asked, "Whose wand did Miss Lestrange attempt to kill you with?"

Lily shriveled back, remembering. "Mine, sir."

He picked up her wand, and examined it. "What is your wand core, my dear?"

"Unicorn hair," she answered, unsure what her core had to do with why she didn't die.

He nodded knowingly, before saying "Do you know what unicorn hairs are known for, Miss Evans?"

She shook her head.

He answered, "Wands with unicorn hair cores tend to the most faithful to their owners. Therefore, when Miss Lestrange attempted to kill you, the wand recognized that it was its owner on the receiving end of the spell. Consequently, it did not kill you."

Shock laced everyone's face. Lily's brows furrowed as she contemplated this.

James stood up and clasped Headmaster Dumbledore's hand. "Thank you, sir."

Headmaster Dumbledore smiled, clapping a hand on James' shoulder. "You are welcome, my dear boy."

He looked at all of them. "You all deserve a thank you for what you all did last night."

Lily looked down at her lap. "But we failed, sir," she said, tears beginning to form in her eyes, "All the students captured by the Death Eaters are dead."

Headmaster Dumbledore moved so that he stood next to her and clasped her hands. "My dear girl, you are not at fault for the crimes of others."

He patted her cheek. "You found out about the injustices that they were committing and took action. That is more than I can say for many witches and wizards."

She let out a small smile and nodded.

He let go of her hands and said, "I am proud of all of you."

With a final nod, he walked away.

* * *

Midday, Tuesday, March 14, 1978

A crowd of students and professors in black clothing stood outside in front of 22 burial sites.

Lily and James walked together, her in a black dress and James in black robes.

Remus and Sirius trailed behind them, also wearing black robes.

Headmaster Dumbledore stood on a makeshift stage on one side of the field and he cleared his throat to say, "My fellow students and staff, it is with great regret that I begin today's ceremony. On Sunday evening, we lost 22 of our students at the hands of Death Eaters. They had planned to manipulate our students and then flee. While we were successful in capture a majority of those responsible, we were unable to prevent the loss of these students."

Lily hid her face in James' shoulders, hot tears streaming from her eyes onto his robes.

Headmaster Dumbledore continued on. "But we must not let their deaths be in vain. They were intelligent enough to find out what the Death Eaters were doing and brave enough to stand up to them. We must not lose hope."

The ceremony went on. Each student was laid down into the ground and then given a eulogy by a loved one.

Even after the ceremony ended, James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius lingered. Several people did as well. As the sun descended and dusk arrived, they still stood there.

Lily was still holding James' hand when she noticed Severus standing by himself, mourning the burial sites.

Lily disentangled from James and slowly walked over to Severus' side.

If he noticed her presence, he didn't say so.

They stood side by side in silence until Lily said, "Thank you for alerting the Aurors, Severus. Alice told me what you did."

He turned to look at her, and eyebrow raised. "You don't hate me?"

She tilted her head in confusion. "Why would I hate you?"

He turned back to the burial sites and sighed. "I can't help but feel partially responsible for this."

She didn't know if he meant this as in responsible for the deaths of the students or responsible for what happened at the end of 5th year.

She followed his gaze and looked out at the burial sites as well. "Alice told me you didn't help them because you wanted to. You helped them to protect someone."

She didn't notice his ears redden.

She hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. "I can't fault you for that."

He nodded rigidly.

They remained standing there until the sun had set and night set in.

* * *

Night, Saturday, April 15, 1978

A month has passed since the battle in the Forbidden Forest.

Remus lay in his bed, Sirius curled up against his side. He stared up at the canopy above his bed.

Net to him, Sirius started shifting in his sleep. Remus looked down to see a grimace on Sirius' face. Sirius started whimpering and jerking around.

Remus sat up and shook him. "Sirius? What's wrong?"

Sirius' eyes shot open. They darted around until they fell onto Remus' worried face.

"R-Remus," he rasped.

Remus smoothed the sweat on Sirius' brow. "What did you dream about?"

Sirius grasped Remus' hand. "It was you."

Remus an eyebrow. "What?"

Sirius trembled as he said, "In my dream, they killed you instead of Lily."

Remus' shoulders sagged as he cupped Sirius' cheek. "I am here."

Sirius continued on. "We were running late that night, trying to get all of the students together so that we could confront the Death Eaters in the forest. We still had to contact the Aurors, but none of us were eager to leave someone behind while the rest went into the forest, Then Snape volunteered to stay behind and wait for the Aurors while we left. If he hadn't volunteered and we waited until the Aurors came, I don't know what would have happened to you and James."

Remus pulled Sirius to him until his face rested in space between Remus' shoulder and neck.

Sirius' voice shook. "We got there when Bellatrix tried to kill Lily. All I can think of now is what if it was you instead of her. We would have been too late to save you."

Remus rubbed Sirius' back as he processed this and thought of what to say.

When Remus finally spoke, he said, "I am here. That didn't happen, and it never will."

Sirius looked up. "How can you be so sure?"

Remus kissed his forehead. "Because we will protect each other. I will never let someone threaten your life and you will never let anyone threaten mine."

Sirius sat up and his shoulders shook as he sighed. "We can't protect each other from everything all the time. What if, one day, something happens?"

Remus rested his shoulder onto Sirius'. "You know, I used to think the same thing about my lycanthropy."

Sirius turned to look at him. "What do you mean?"

Remus sighed. "When I got onto the Hogwarts Express for the first time, the first thing I thought about was how afraid I was. I was scared that I would end up hurting someone. I almost walked off the train to go back to my parents and ask them to homeschool me instead."

Sirius tilted his head into confusion. "What made you stay?"

Remus intertwined his fingers in Sirius'. "You did."

Sirius jerked back. "Me?"

Remus nodded. "I was about to get up when a handsome boy and his friend asked if they could sit with me. I was surprised that I said yes without thinking twice. That handsome boy introduced himself as Sirius Black and his friend was James Potter. I recognized your last names and thought you would tease me for my lycanthropy, but you were both funny and kind to me. You made me feel alive and accepted. I realized then that I didn't want to be afraid anymore."

Sirius looked at Remus with shock and awe before he swooped down and kissed him.

Remus reciprocated, running his hands in Sirius' silky hair.

Sirius pulled back only to save "I love you, Remus Lupin," before kissing him again.

He trailed his lips across Remus' jaw, nibbling his ear, causing Remus to gasp.

He peppered kisses down Remus' neck, his hands playing with the collar of Remus nightshirt before pulling away to asking, "Is it okay if we go further tonight?"

Red blush flowered on Remus' face when he answered, "I thought you wanted to wait until it felt right."

Sirius trailed his fingers down Remus' shoulders and arms until he reached Remus' hands. He pulled them up to kiss his fingers. "This feels right, does it not?"

Remus, mesmerized in the sight of Sirius' lips kissing his palms, replied breathlessly, "Yes."

Sirius' hands moved to Remus' waist to pull his nightshirt off. Remus raised his arms up and shivered as the material trailed up his skin.

They slowly undressed each other.

When Remus laid down and Sirius got on top of him, Remus whispered, "I love you, Sirius Black."

* * *

In the Head dormitory, James jerked awake, tensed and sweaty from the nightmare that he just had.

He turned over to see if Lily was asleep and was not surprised to find that she was gone. He put on his glasses, grabbed his wand and a blanket, and went to where he knew she would be.

There was a slight breeze at the top of the Astronomy Tower when he got there. He could see her bright red hair blowing in the wind as she sat on the floor, looking up at the sky.

He sat next to her and wrapped the blanket on their shoulders. She leaned into him, but did not say anything.

He kissed her temple. "You're going to freeze if you keep coming up here at night."

Lily continued to look up at the stars. "I don't care."

James tried to joke, "You should. Who will listen to my jokes if you aren't around?"

Lily didn't smile.

He sighed. "Sitting up here isn't going to bring them back, you know."

Lily didn't answer.

James looked around until his eyes landed on her wand, which lay on the ground at her side. He picked it up. "Hey! I know what will cheer you up. Why don't we practice those tickling charms that I told you about? The first person who lets out a laugh loses!"

Lily shrunk back, looking away from him.

James rubbed a hand over his face. "Lily, you haven't used your wand since Headmaster Dumbledore told us about the wand core. That was weeks ago. Why don't you use your wand?."

Lily looked down at her lap for a long time before saying. "My wand has killed people, James. It killed people and it spared me and I can't help wishing that it had killed me, too-"

James jerked back. "Don't say that!"

She continued on. "Or better yet, it should have spared them and just killed only me! I should have saved them, but instead I am the reason they are dead!"

James gripped her shoulders. "Do you even realize what you are saying?"

Lily didn't answer, tears running down her cheeks.

"Lily, there is nothing you can do for them now. There is no way that we will ever know what would have happened if things were different," James said, wiping her tears away. "We can only remember what happened and continue living. I promise you, Lily, we will avenge their deaths."

Lily hid her face into James' shoulder. "It hurts."

"What does?" He asked."

"This sadness," she replied, "I don't know how to make it go away."

He pulled her close to him, not knowing what to say.

* * *

Afternoon, Friday, May 26th, 1978

Lily walked up the stairs of the Gryffindor boys dormitory wearing her Gryffindor colors. Today was the last Quidditch game before the summer holiday. She was sad that her time at Hogwarts was coming to a close, but she knew that she would have James and her friends and her life still after they graduated.

She knocked on the Sirius' and Remus' door. "Guys, it's time for the last Quidditch match. James is already down there getting ready."

When she received no answer, she tried to door knob. It was unlocked, so she opened it.

She gasped and immediately covered her eyes. "Oh Merlin, put some clothes on!"

Remus blushed from under the covers while Sirius answered, "Excuse me, who do you think you are interrupting our bedroom activities?"

Lily turned away and huffed, "The girlfriend of your best mate, who is about to have a Quidditch match that we're are going to be late to if you two don't get dressed right now!"

Sirius grumbled, but got up and started get dressed. Remus sat up in the bed. "Sorry, Lily."

When they finally made it to the quidditch pitch, the stands were already packed with excited students. They managed to find seats next to Alice, Marlene, and Benjy.

Before long, a horn blew and the two teams, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, entered the pitch. Everyone cheered and Lily joined in, but something was off. James was not flying with the Chasers. He came out last, and his uniform was the uniform of a Seeker's.

He looked around until his eyes landed on hers and winked.

She brushed the thought of him being a Seeker away and blew him a kiss.

Another horn blew and the game commenced.

Throughout it, Lily's eyes darted between the main action of the Chasers to James as a Seeker.

She noticed the exact second that he spotted the Snitch. He perked up, gripped his broomstick and shot for it. He smirked as he shot past her, arms outstretched to catch it.

The crowds started to notice as well and the cheering grew louder. She watched him stretch ever farther on the broom until he closed his fist and froze.

He opened his hand and then thrust it into the air, showing everyone that he got it. Everyone stood up and clapped, screaming and cheering as the gold of the snitch shone in the sunlight.

Lily jumped and cheered, clutching Remus' and Alice's hand.

James flew to the ground, jumping off of his broom with a grin on his face.

Then, a fellow team member ran up to him and handed him a microphone.

Lily furrowed her brows. "What's going on?"

James tapped the microphone to check it and then spoke into it. "Lily Evans, can you please come down here?"

Lily looked at her friends, but they also looked confused.

She shrugged, but made her way down to the field.

When she stood in front of him, she asked, "What's going on ?"

He didn't answer, only putting a hand up to silence her. Then he kissed the Snitch.

"James, what are you doing?" Lily shouted, "You don't know how many germs are on that thing!"

James shook his head, showing her the Snitch. She looked down at it and tilted her head in confusion when she was it start to open. Then she saw was inside.

"James!" she gasped, putting her hands up to cover her mouth.

James reached inside the snitch and pulled out a dazzling diamond ring.

Then he got down on one knee.

The crowd started to cheer.

James looked into her eyes as he spoke into the microphone. "A month ago, you told me at the top of the Astronomy Tower that you have this sadness and you didn't know how to make it go away. At the time, I didn't either. But I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making it go away. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I will fight the sadness away for you every day, for as long as it takes to make you happy."

Tears formed in her eyes and leaked out onto her cheeks.

James continued, "I have been in love with you ever since I saw you in that train compartment when were were only 11 years old. I knew from the day that I met you that my life would never be the same. You are the light of my life, Lily, and I want to make sure you never forget that."

He held up the ring. "Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

Lily nodded quickly, sobbing, "Yes, yes, yes! Yes, James, I will marry you!"

He slipped the ring on her finger quickly before jumping to his feet and kissing her.

The crowd erupted into applause and cheers.

Lily pulled away and they walked together off the field.

She looked up at her friends in the stands and the man at her side and smiled.

Lord Voldemort was still out there, but she was going to make sure that he could never take this away from her.

* * *

 **For those that don't know, this is the final chapter of this story. I can't believe I made it.**

 **Thank you to every reader, reviewer, follower, and favorite. I wish I could list all of you, but that would keep us here all day. You are all the sweetest, kindest, and most dedicated fans I know and I promise to continue writing.**

 **I have amazing things in store for the future, such as more Harry Potter stories, Percy Jackson stories, A Court of Thorns and Roses stories, Miraculous Ladybug stories, and even a Booktube channel, so if you are interested, check out my profile.**

 **Once again, thank you for reading.**


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